Lori Alexander 74: Anniversary Pain

[Caroline]

On 1/10/2020 at 10:02 PM, usmcmom said:

When my son was a freshman in high school (about 15 years ago) he told me he was so hungry in a certain class that he had a hard time concentrating.  This class was right before his lunch period. Parent/teacher conferences happened to be that week so I mentioned this to the teacher.  She very quickly said “Oh, have him bring a granola bar or pack or nuts, pretzels...a healthy snack.  In fact, I’ll just let the whole class know that is allowed.” 
 

Teachers will work with kids and families most of the time. Lori probably had a minor issue here and there, refused to speak to the teacher (or encourage her child to speak to the teacher) and instead threw a little fit and decided to homeschool.  

Every year I have a class before the last lunch.  We're all starving by then because we start school at 7:00 a.m.  I always let kids eat non-messy snacks that period and announce that at the beginning of each school year.  I've never had a problem with messiness, etc., and not all of the kids eat things.  

On 1/10/2020 at 11:52 AM, kmachete14 said:

Schools weren't "made" for girls, considering boys used to be the only ones attending school. And shocker -- they had to sit way more rigidly than we (I'm a teacher) demand nowadays! 

 

I've said this a million times.  And the boys were physically punished in some way if they didn't behave.  Hasn't Lori every watched "Little House on the Prairie"?   Seems like that show would be on the good Christians' safe tv program list.  (I personally hated that show because Laura CRIED about something in every single show.)  

[Caroline]

On 1/10/2020 at 8:04 PM, Sweet Caroline said:

Lori was a teacher over a quarter of a century ago, therefore she is an expert on our current schools.

I am a fourth grade teacher in an ebil public school.  I do not insist that my students sit still.  We have math class in front of the Smart Board. The students may sit on the floor, grab a stool, use a pillow or hold a stuffed animal, or sit at their desk.  I tell them to get in a comfortable place where they can do their best learning.  I also have squishies or stress balls in buckets around the room.  

School has changed from what it was years ago.  Most teachers will accommodate their students to help them learn. Lori is a false prophet when it comes to education, er I mean, any subject really.

Ironically, I wouldn't be surprised if Lori wasn't the type of teacher (for all of 2 years) who expected all children to sit quietly and behave.  I started teaching in the early 80's (like Lori).  Schools have indeed changed, like all institutions should, as we learn more about humans and their learning.   I teach high school and even I use an approach with ninth graders that gets them up and moving a few times during an 85 minute class.  Lori was not a successful teacher, so that means no one else is either.  Silly woman.

On 1/11/2020 at 2:17 PM, raspberrymint said:

I know schools are better than they were 25 years ago, but I was a teaching assistant 6 - 8 years ago in a school that had an isolation room for children with special needs and a segregated classroom for autistic students.  The segregated classroom was right next to my classroom and it was screams all day long.  I'm on the autism spectrum and so is my spouse.  We won't put our kids in public schools, despite our own misfortunes with homeschooling.  The problem there was our mothers.  We aren't like our mothers.

Edit: Yes, I asked for a transfer to the autism classroom.  I was qualified.  They said no every time.  Yes, schools like this are all over the country.

Thirty-eight year veteran of public school teaching, and I've never heard of isolation rooms for any kinds of students.  Educational technicians accompany their students to all classes so that all students can participate to the best of their ability.  What you're describing sounds horrible for everyone involved.

 

On 1/8/2020 at 11:14 AM, AuntKrazy said:

I took a break from Lori over the holidays.  

It's just the same old song and dance.  Women shouldn't vote.  Women are required to marry and have children to be Lorily (my replacement for "Godly" as this has no relationship to spirituality by the Bible Lori says she advocates.)

No voice.  No individual vote.  No choice.  Just an accessory to men - this is what Lori Alexander thinks of women.   

The only thing new is that she probably smells bad because she does not use deodorant along with only showering once a week.

I went to Russia in the late 90's and encountered a Kiosk that had super-sized jars of Nutella for the equivalent of $.15 USD - I was in grad school at the time.  I bought all 8 jars they had.  When I came back to the US, I was randomly selected to have my suitcases searched at customs.  The Customs guy looks at my stash of Nutella and asks "what are you going to do with all this?"  And I said without thinking "Eat it!" Giving him a look like he was nuts for asking.

I got through many grad school study sessions by dipping little pretzel sticks into Nutella.

I've never had it with butter - although it makes sense to me, because it is darn yummy on a croissant (which is at least half butter).

My husband made an incredible Nutella Christmas tree this year with puff pastry.  Divine.

[wallysmommy]

We have evidence of Lori's teaching style in every blog, post and video she makes.  Given she taught public school pre-transformation, it was probably worse.  She was miserable according to Ken and herself, so she probably took it out on her students.  Someone I know taught public school for many years.  Another friend's children had her as a teacher.  They called her "the screamer."  Yep, that would be Lori., too.

[Sarah92]

24 minutes ago, Caroline said:

Thirty-eight year veteran of public school teaching, and I've never heard of isolation rooms for any kinds of students.  Educational technicians accompany their students to all classes so that all students can participate to the best of their ability.  What you're describing sounds horrible for everyone involved.

I will often go into schools for counseling and one of the schools I go to has a time out room with padding connected to the behavioral classroom. Kids that escalate into violent behavior are often brought in there. I have worked with a kid that assaulted their classroom aid and would tear up an entire class so they’re brought in there to cool down.  It’s kinda awful to watch but I’m not sure would be a more beneficial solution. They aren’t left completely alone as someone will walk them through calm down procedures but if they continue to be violent a door is closed. I know the state I’m in recently passed a movement to limit their use. I hope a better solution is found for these poor kids and teachers. 
 

I’d say schools aren’t necessarily made with either gender in mind. I have to be doing something during meetings, classes or church services or I start to fall a sleep. My brain just checks out.  I’m so glad schools are making changes and making it easier to engage kids. I appreciate the creativity I see. I just wish they’d use less technology because it’s contributing to my kids (Aka my clients) suffer in the attention department. At least that’s my observer opinion. Also it’s not great for the ones I work with who don’t have access to internet services. 
 

In regards to the female/ male brain department. I had what I used to call a very masculine mind: analytical, non emotional, and logical. I used to take a great deal of pride in this because I “wasn’t like other girls”. I now recognize that thinking as internalized misogyny. I celebrate my analytical, logical, intj, enneagram 5 brain as being wholly feminine and my brain. This has helped me feel so much more settled in who I am. I don’t hold myself apart from women and it has given me a big dose of humility. Of course, this isn’t a line of thinking that everyone must follow. I just recognized that it made me prideful and contributed to me being unempathetic. 

[Sweet Caroline]

4 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

Lori is widely ignorant of history. Women always worked, it’s just that work may or may not have been from the home, in other’s homes, or at job. Childhood also looked completely different than it does now. What Lori preaches from is a 1950s and above, white American point of view. Her message isn’t something that applies globally and if it doesn’t apply globally is it really the gospel? 

I think Lori is referencing television when she thinks of moms in the past.  The Brady Bunch, The Dick Van Dyke Show, I Love Lucy, etc.  It was on television so it must be true and represent all of America. Those moms didn’t work, therefore no moms worked. 

[rayneflower]

1 hour ago, Sweet Caroline said:

I think Lori is referencing television when she thinks of moms in the past.  The Brady Bunch, The Dick Van Dyke Show, I Love Lucy, etc.  It was on television so it must be true and represent all of America. Those moms didn’t work, therefore no moms worked. 

I couldn't have said it better myself!! IF she is basing her 'not preaching' on old TV Shows, she needs to find a new hobby. 

[PennySycamore]

@usmcmom,  my youngest daughter got sent to the office in kindergarten.  Her crime?  Finishing her work and cutting out paper snowflakes since she was finished.  Rachel had a slew of shitty teachers in elementary school.

George Carlin had a great sketch about the importance of washing the four key areas:  pits, ass, crotch, and teeth.  If youtube was being cooperative for me (and it's not been lately), then I'd find this and post it.  

Edited January 13, 2020 by PennySycamore

[usmcmom]

44 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

@usmcmom,  my youngest daughter got sent to the office in kindergarten.  Her crime?  Finishing her work and cutting out paper snowflakes since she was finished.  Rachel had a slew of shitty teachers in elementary school.

 

Oh wow. That is awful. I am sorry that happened to her. I’d have lost my mind. Some teachers do like to assert their power way too much.  
 

My daughter received quite a few notes in second grade because she was writing cursive and cursive was a third grade skill.  She did not get sent to the principal’s office - just notes with “Dear Mrs........Please remind (child) that we do not write cursive on second grade homework.”  
 

I kept reminding her but her creative side was too powerful and she kept writing cursive.  I know it had to do with writing methods she would learn the next year; but she was following that method and there were far worse offenses she could have made. 

[feministxtian]

Before my kids dropped out of high school, I spent many hours meeting with counselors and administrators as they blamed ME for the kids' school skipping. I finally lost my shit with them when some asshole called me and said "you know Mrs. Xtian, you need to impress upon #2 son the importance of education". That was enough...my limit. I finally told the woman that if THEY wanted to keep #2 son in school then it was up to THEM to create a safe environment (the school was a zoo) and a curriculum that was challenging enough to hold his interest and if they can't do that, then the only other solution was to shackle him to a chair so he couldn't get up and leave. They ignored both the positive and the negative and just kept saying how it was MY problem. 

None of my kids finished high school for precisely this reason. Smart kids with short attention spans being spoon fed bullshit and expected to follow along with the new material, discuss to death, review endlessly, test, toss it away method of teaching. The older 2 were/are dean's list in college (undergrad) and grad school. Why? They're interested, they're engaged, they're not being spoon fed. They're gulping from a fire hose, challenged, motivated now. For three kids who hated school from kindergarten to whenever they dropped out (I don't think any of them finished 10th grade), they're kicking ass and taking names in college. 

***I know that having 3 kids with GEDs is probably not "cool" for some of you and I don't give a shit. Nobody gives a flying fuck now about that. 

 

[AliceInFundyland]

7 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

Before my kids dropped out of high school, I spent many hours meeting with counselors and administrators as they blamed ME for the kids' school skipping. I finally lost my shit with them when some asshole called me and said "you know Mrs. Xtian, you need to impress upon #2 son the importance of education". That was enough...my limit. I finally told the woman that if THEY wanted to keep #2 son in school then it was up to THEM to create a safe environment (the school was a zoo) and a curriculum that was challenging enough to hold his interest and if they can't do that, then the only other solution was to shackle him to a chair so he couldn't get up and leave. They ignored both the positive and the negative and just kept saying how it was MY problem. 

None of my kids finished high school for precisely this reason. Smart kids with short attention spans being spoon fed bullshit and expected to follow along with the new material, discuss to death, review endlessly, test, toss it away method of teaching. The older 2 were/are dean's list in college (undergrad) and grad school. Why? They're interested, they're engaged, they're not being spoon fed. They're gulping from a fire hose, challenged, motivated now. For three kids who hated school from kindergarten to whenever they dropped out (I don't think any of them finished 10th grade), they're kicking ass and taking names in college. 

***I know that having 3 kids with GEDs is probably not "cool" for some of you and I don't give a shit. Nobody gives a flying fuck now about that. 

 

Seriously? ... When was the last time anyone here has been less than supportive of your mothering?

Or has ripped on GEDs...

Don't invent enemies that don't exist.

[TeaGrannie]

5 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

I will often go into schools for counseling and one of the schools I go to has a time out room with padding connected to the behavioral classroom. Kids that escalate into violent behavior are often brought in there. I have worked with a kid that assaulted their classroom aid and would tear up an entire class so they’re brought in there to cool down.  It’s kinda awful to watch but I’m not sure would be a more beneficial solution. They aren’t left completely alone as someone will walk them through calm down procedures but if they continue to be violent a door is closed. I know the state I’m in recently passed a movement to limit their use. I hope a better solution is found for these poor kids and teachers. 

My son was in the behaviour program and they had that room too. Early 2000’s. 

[feministxtian]

5 minutes ago, AliceInFundyland said:

Seriously? ... When was the last time anyone here has been less than supportive of your mothering?

Or has ripped on GEDs...

Don't invent enemies that don't exist.

I apologize...just feel a little defensive over my offspring. Y'all know I think my offspring walk on water! 

[AliceInFundyland]

27 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

I apologize...just feel a little defensive over my offspring. Y'all know I think my offspring walk on water! 

I do know.

No apology needed. I've had a day, week, month etc. etc.

Just give us a bit of credit eh?

[feministxtian]

Just now, AliceInFundyland said:

I do know.

No apology needed. I've had a day, week, month etc. etc.

Just give us a bit of credit eh?

I had a 2019...the whole goddamn year sucked. It was one year ago yesterday that they found the tumor. Dealing with this shit is not for sissies

[AliceInFundyland]

7 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

I had a 2019...the whole goddamn year sucked. It was one year ago yesterday that they found the tumor. Dealing with this shit is not for sissies

Not my best either. And I think some of our sisters could say the same.

This will sound stupid but - One of the best things about years? They start over ? ??

(typing issues I only intended the last two emojis)

We'll all get through, pretty sure.

[feministxtian]

2 minutes ago, AliceInFundyland said:

Not my best either. And I think some of our sisters could say the same.

This will sound stupid but - One of the best things about years? They start over ? ??

(typing issues I only intended the last two emojis)

We'll all get through, pretty sure.

My New Year's resolution (there was only one) was to start living in the land of the living instead of the "land of the dead, just forgot to fall over". I remember what the mother was like after the father died...she crawled further into her hole of hate and bitterness and stayed there for about 14 years until she died. I don't want to be like that. I want to LIVE!! In May, #1 daughter is getting married, Spacefest is in early-mid July, #1 son and wife are expecting my newest grandchild (see what I did there) at the end of July, Hopefully some legal shit will be resolved sometime this year and hopefully I'll be building/buying a house afterwards. I have WAY too much going on to crawl in the hole...Oh, forgot (how could I???) #2 son starts at the local 2 year school a week from tomorrow (Monday) to embark on his journey to a MSAE (Master of Science, Aerospace Engineering). 

So, I don't have TIME to sit and be bitter and nasty...got WAY too much LIVING to do!!! All kinds of good shit to counterbalance the shitty "year of firsts" that started 8/28 when Mr. Xtian died. 

[SongRed7]

14 hours ago, Sweet Caroline said:

I think Lori is referencing television when she thinks of moms in the past.  The Brady Bunch, The Dick Van Dyke Show, I Love Lucy, etc.  It was on television so it must be true and represent all of America. Those moms didn’t work, therefore no moms worked. 

I just finished reading Devil in the White City (Excellent book BTW, I'm probably the last one on the face of the earth to read it lol) Anyway, it's a true story based on circumstances surrounding the time of the Chicago World's Fair in 1893.  Throughout the book there are numerous references about working women and working mothers.  I know it's only a small glimpse of one time period, but in the 1890s it seems working women (among the middle and lower classes) was quite common.  It seems only the upper class women (for whom many other women worked for as domestics) who stayed home.  

Women always worked. 

8 hours ago, AliceInFundyland said:

Not my best either. And I think some of our sisters could say the same.

 Yeah....2019 sucked.

And as an update, my husband (who had the massive heart attack in December) is making some good improvement. Slow and steady. 

 

[delphinium65]

On today's blog post:  'It seems clear to me that the current ‘Christian’ marriage model of ‘equal partners’ is in fact a functionally homosexual relationship, by which I mean that there is no clear delineation of roles between husband and wife, and the wife does not depend financially or in any other way on the husband.'  So a marriage of equal partners is the same thing as gay marriage now. And here I thought a homosexual relationship was between people with the same genitalia. Silly me.  

[freealljs]

I thought that during Ken's visit to FJ, that he wrote that they have an egalitarian marriage. So, using Lori logic, Ken and Lori are homosexuals?! 

 

[Hane]

@feministxtian, some years ago I heard someone say that the benefit of a GED is that it proves a person’s literacy, numeracy, and writing skills. There have been documented cases of people managing to graduate from conventional high school with none of those. (I taught GED prep back in the ‘70s.)

[klein_roeschen]

22 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

Lori is widely ignorant of history. Women always worked, it’s just that work may or may not have been from the home, in other’s homes, or at job. Childhood also looked completely different than it does now. What Lori preaches from is a 1950s and above, white American point of view. Her message isn’t something that applies globally and if it doesn’t apply globally is it really the gospel? 

When Lori talks about the good, old days she thinks of Lady Grantham sipping tea in the drawing room and not of Daisy the kitchenmaid working 15 hours days 7 days a week ( I know, wrong decade and wrong country, but I'm currently re-watching Downton Abbey and that example is fitting).

And what Lori always forgets, how much work just the household was before all the nice helpers we have. No washer, no frigde, no vacuum and all the other little gadgets that help us.

3 hours ago, SongRed7 said:

I just finished reading Devil in the White City (Excellent book BTW, I'm probably the last one on the face of the earth to read it lol) Anyway, it's a true story based on circumstances surrounding the time of the Chicago World's Fair in 1893.  Throughout the book there are numerous references about working women and working mothers.  I know it's only a small glimpse of one time period, but in the 1890s it seems working women (among the middle and lower classes) was quite common.  It seems only the upper class women (for whom many other women worked for as domestics) who stayed home.  

Women always worked.

One of my favorite history topics is the worker's movement and esp the working women's movement of the 19th and early 20th century. The women's movement at that time in Germany was divided in 2 parts. The middle class movement, with it's focus on the vote, higher education and the chance for middle class women to work outside the home in higher jobs. The working women's where focused on bettering the working women's situation. Equal pay, less hours, better conditions for pregnant and nursing mothers. Working women at that time where working 12 hours a day, 6 days a week, while on top still had the housekeeping to do. Or they worked from home making toys or sewing slippers and get a even shittier pay for all the work they did. It's no wonder that socialism, communism and anachism as political ideas all startet during that time.

[onemama]

1 hour ago, klein_roeschen said:

When Lori talks about the good, old days she thinks of Lady Grantham sipping tea in the drawing room and not of Daisy the kitchenmaid working 15 hours days 7 days a week

I agree. I wonder what sort of life Lori's grandmother or great-grandmother lead.  

My mom still believes mothers should stay at home and raise their children. That's what she did and what her mother did. But she has never told us not to pursue an education or a career and she doesn't go about telling other women what they should do. 

1 hour ago, klein_roeschen said:

And what Lori always forgets, how much work just the household was before all the nice helpers we have. No washer, no frigde, no vacuum and all the other little gadgets that help us.

I wouldn't say that she forgets about that detail because she's very fond of attributing every single one of those to the creativity of a man. One more reason we should worship them, in Lori's world. 

 

4 hours ago, delphinium65 said:

the wife does not depend financially or in any other way on the husband.

Does she really think that having a job makes a woman fully independent from her husband? Let me see, even if I did make enough to keep all our bills paid and a roof over our heads, I'd still be dependent on my husband to be a good husband to me and a good father to our children, the same way he depends on me to be a good wife and a good mother. A measure of autonomy is good, in my opinion. Total dependence is for children, not adults.  

[klein_roeschen]

38 minutes ago, onemama said:

I wouldn't say that she forgets about that detail because she's very fond of attributing every single one of those to the creativity of a man. One more reason we should worship them, in Lori's world.

Her only talk about household chores is fapping over the creativity of the guys that invent the stuff we use. She never talks about all the hard and timeconsuming work that go into an orderly home, clean clothes, homecooked meals from scratch. Housekeeping is an aftertought for her, but no surprise with a housekeeper, who did all that work.

46 minutes ago, onemama said:

Does she really think that having a job makes a woman fully independent from her husband? Let me see, even if I did make enough to keep all our bills paid and a roof over our heads, I'd still be dependent on my husband to be a good husband to me and a good father to our children, the same way he depends on me to be a good wife and a good mother. A measure of autonomy is good, in my opinion. Total dependence is for children, not adults.  

You and your husband are a team working together. My dog has more autonomy than her idea of a submissive wife.

[feministxtian]

58 minutes ago, onemama said:

Does she really think that having a job makes a woman fully independent from her husband? Let me see, even if I did make enough to keep all our bills paid and a roof over our heads, I'd still be dependent on my husband to be a good husband to me and a good father to our children, the same way he depends on me to be a good wife and a good mother. A measure of autonomy is good, in my opinion. Total dependence is for children, not adults.  

AMEN!! I always made more than Mr. Xtian, money wise. I could have supported myself and the kids just fine (I did before we got married). BUT...even though financially I was pretty independent, I was not independent of him. We were partners in life. We had an egalitarian marriage and lots of compromise along the way. However, those compromises were not times when we would "give in" to the other. They involved a third option we could mutually agree on. Nothing was a battle to "get my way" or for him to get his way. We had battles but they were over certain things, boundaries if you will, where one of us would hold firm. But, on a daily basis, there was never a power struggle between us. I don't think either one of us wanted to be "in charge" anyway. 

[Melissa1977]

6 hours ago, delphinium65 said:

On today's blog post:  'It seems clear to me that the current ‘Christian’ marriage model of ‘equal partners’ is in fact a functionally homosexual relationship, by which I mean that there is no clear delineation of roles between husband and wife, and the wife does not depend financially or in any other way on the husband.'  So a marriage of equal partners is the same thing as gay marriage now. And here I thought a homosexual relationship was between people with the same genitalia. Silly me.  

So, according to Lori, a homosexual couple is defined by two people (men?) with good salaries keeping an equal relationship. 

Wow, I think it's the best gay advertisement ever!