Lori Alexander 74: Anniversary Pain

[kmachete14]

also I just want to add my two cents about Lori's idea of "Love" not being a feeling.

It doesn't have to be perverse the way she uses it. 

In my wedding, we used the CS Lewis quote where he coins the idea of love as a decision. It is very sweet. It talks about how "falling in love" is a feeling, or a spark, but the decision to continue loving is an active thing you must do and maintain throughout marriage. 

I don't think it's always bad to use it in that context. 

I think the problem is for most people, despite hard times or annoyances or spats, it is still pretty easy for them to "Decide" to love their spouse, and they keep that spark. Maybe the lose it temporarily, but it comes back thanks to commitment and "deciding" to love each other.

Lori uses the idea of love as a decision to defend the fact that she married a man whom she had little affection for, didn't really like, and just felt he would provide for her. She skipped the "Falling in love" step. 

[EmmaWoodhouse]

17 minutes ago, kmachete14 said:

also I just want to add my two cents about Lori's idea of "Love" not being a feeling.

It doesn't have to be perverse the way she uses it. 

In my wedding, we used the CS Lewis quote where he coins the idea of love as a decision. It is very sweet. It talks about how "falling in love" is a feeling, or a spark, but the decision to continue loving is an active thing you must do and maintain throughout marriage. 

I don't think it's always bad to use it in that context. 

I think the problem is for most people, despite hard times or annoyances or spats, it is still pretty easy for them to "Decide" to love their spouse, and they keep that spark. Maybe the lose it temporarily, but it comes back thanks to commitment and "deciding" to love each other.

Lori uses the idea of love as a decision to defend the fact that she married a man whom she had little affection for, didn't really like, and just felt he would provide for her. She skipped the "Falling in love" step. 

I'm with you, @kmachete14.  In my personal experience, the relationships that have both decision-love and emotion-love tend to be the strongest.  Lori's problem is that she relies solely on decision-love.  And that will only get you so far.  I would be tempted to feel sorry for her, but she knew what she was doing when she signed up for this.  (And also she's so toxic, I'm not sure if I could feel sorry for her over anything TBH).

[feministxtian]

29 minutes ago, kmachete14 said:

also I just want to add my two cents about Lori's idea of "Love" not being a feeling.

It doesn't have to be perverse the way she uses it. 

In my wedding, we used the CS Lewis quote where he coins the idea of love as a decision. It is very sweet. It talks about how "falling in love" is a feeling, or a spark, but the decision to continue loving is an active thing you must do and maintain throughout marriage. 

I don't think it's always bad to use it in that context. 

I think the problem is for most people, despite hard times or annoyances or spats, it is still pretty easy for them to "Decide" to love their spouse, and they keep that spark. Maybe the lose it temporarily, but it comes back thanks to commitment and "deciding" to love each other.

Lori uses the idea of love as a decision to defend the fact that she married a man whom she had little affection for, didn't really like, and just felt he would provide for her. She skipped the "Falling in love" step. 

I agree. Yes, love is an emotion and a decision. Sometimes that decision was harder than others. We chose each other in September of 1997 when we met, in August of 1998 when we got engaged, in October of 1998 when we got married, and every day in between. That whole marriage vow thing was no joke to us both...and we stuck together through it all. There were times when we both wanted to throw in the towel, but we CHOSE to go on together. It wasn't easy at times, there are many things I'm leaving out here...but we did it. 

[onemama]

3 hours ago, wallysmommy said:

Anyone who preaches that mothers and wives have to be taught to love their children/spouses has such a deep malfunction that it's almost incomprehensible.  You cannot teach a feeling or emotion.

Actually, and please don't stone me for this, I agree with older women teaching younger women how to love their husbands and their children.  But I disagree very strongly with the fundamentalist interpretation of this teaching, especially Lori's, because she doesn't even live out what she teaches. 

As others have already said, a successful marriage leans on both the feeling of love and the decision to love. I think this has to be learned and it's best learned by observing how the more experienced do it.  My marriage is no fairytale. There have been many occasions when I've wanted to leave and never look back, but then there's that "cloud of witnesses", the people who have learned to love each other and have learned to give each other freedom, without giving up who they are. Those people encourage me to dig a bit deeper and figure out what is actually bothering me and whether it's really such a deal breaker. Most of the time, they don't even know that I'm observing them and learning from them, by the way. 

 

 

2 hours ago, kmachete14 said:

Lori's idea of "Love" not being a feeling.

It doesn't have to be perverse the way she uses it. 

Lori's teachings are a perversion. Perfect word. If she focused on living her life, really loving her husband and her kids, loving the people she shares a life with, doing good to others, encouraging people who are suffering, she wouldn't have to make any effort to be a godly mentor.  Women would look at her and learn from her attitude and her deeds.  I don't know what woman in her right mind would want to be like Lori. 

[Lgirlrocks]

1 hour ago, onemama said:

Actually, and please don't stone me for this, I agree with older women teaching younger women how to love their husbands and their children.  But I disagree very strongly with the fundamentalist interpretation of this teaching, especially Lori's, because she doesn't even live out what she teaches. 

As others have already said, a successful marriage leans on both the feeling of love and the decision to love. I think this has to be learned and it's best learned by observing how the more experienced do it.  My marriage is no fairytale. There have been many occasions when I've wanted to leave and never look back, but then there's that "cloud of witnesses", the people who have learned to love each other and have learned to give each other freedom, without giving up who they are. Those people encourage me to dig a bit deeper and figure out what is actually bothering me and whether it's really such a deal breaker. Most of the time, they don't even know that I'm observing them and learning from them, by the way. 

 

 

Lori's teachings are a perversion. Perfect word. If she focused on living her life, really loving her husband and her kids, loving the people she shares a life with, doing good to others, encouraging people who are suffering, she wouldn't have to make any effort to be a godly mentor.  Women would look at her and learn from her attitude and her deeds.  I don't know what woman in her right mind would want to be like Lori. 

The thing is Lori doesn’t know how to do all of those things. All she knows how to do is push her agenda. If she makes it to heaven she will be surprised to find working mothers there. Parents who didn’t spank their kids. Women preachers. 
lori is very entitled and never learned anything from anyone. She doesn’t have a kind or loving heart. 

[rayneflower]

Same tweet different day. Now she is singling out the Christian women who don't agree with her teachings.  

It's not WHAT she teaches it's HOW she teaches. She shoves it down their throat and if they don't like it she blasts them on Twitter. 

With her Tweet Rant over Christian women, someone from her church or her family may have set her off, again.

[Loveday]

File this one under 'Way Too Much Information.'  Lori tells her chatroom peeps that she doesn't need to shower but once a week. She doesn't smell, she says. And she wears shirts several times before throwing them in the wash, unless she spills something on them. And then she asks the chatroom members to share something they feel is special about themselves.

Well, it does explain why she so often looks the way she does, I suppose. 

Edited January 4, 2020 by Loveday
changed a word so as not to so closely quote Lori as this is from the chat room

[EmmaWoodhouse]

14 minutes ago, Loveday said:

File this one under 'Way Too Much Information.'  Lori tells her chatroom peeps that she doesn't need to shower but once a week. She doesn't smell, she says. And she wears shirts several times before throwing them in the wash, unless she spills something on them. And then she asks the chatroom members to share something they feel is special about themselves.

Well, it does explain why she so often looks the way she does, I suppose. 

I confess to rewearing clothes (especially skirts and jeans) if they aren't dirty or smelly.  But it's a pretty sad life when that's the most special thing you can find about yourself.  Also, did not need to know how frequently she showers. ?

[Loveday]

28 minutes ago, EmmaWoodhouse said:

I confess to rewearing clothes (especially skirts and jeans) if they aren't dirty or smelly.  But it's a pretty sad life when that's the most special thing you can find about yourself.  Also, did not need to know how frequently she showers. ?

Oh, I do, too, especially jeans. I usually wear old lounge pants around the house (think plaid men's pants from Target!), and only wear jeans when I leave the house. So a pair can last me several days before throwing them into the wash. Very occasionally I'll re-wear a top, if I only had it on for a couple hours. But I do sweat a bit (thanks so much, menopause! LOL), so I don't do that too often. 

But yeah, I think I could find something a little more special to say about myself than how often I shower and that I don't smell! I mean...my life is probably not that much more exciting than Lori's, to be honest, yet I could STILL find something better to say! Not to mention more socially acceptable! 

[freealljs]

How does Lori know that she doesn’t smell? She seems a recluse and has no one around to tell her that she has body odor. It is telling about the (non)relations between her and Ken.  
It’s the adage of how your own farts smell like roses. As a woman, isn’t she worried that her lady bits and crotch smell bad? Brain bleach now. 

[klein_roeschen]

I also wear my clothes several days in a row. But on a usual day, my private clothes where only worn when I leave the house and I have work clothes I change in at work and at home it's strickly comfy clothes of sweatpants or pj's. So my jeans and sweatshirts is worn maybe 3 or 4 hours a day and I find it pretty wastefull to change everyday. And I only shower or bathe 2 times a weak when my hair needs to be washed. On the other nights it's my bathroom sink full of warm water and a washcloth. I have dry skin and that's way better for my skin than showering every evening. But I'm also very fond of deodorant and changing underwear daily

[TeddyBonkers]

Quote

I don't have to wear deodorant.

YES YOU DO, LORI. Does she not want to because of the aluminum/Alzheimer's link? Then get yourself some deodorant that doesn't have aluminum. It's easy peasy. And I admit that I only wash my hair once a week, but otherwise I'd be spending half Mr. Bonker's paycheck on shampoo and conditioner. (My hair reaches the top of my bum.) I still shower every day. I LOVE showers, nice and hot and relaxing! Plus, you get clean.

Not showering on a regular basis and not using deodorant sounds like a cognitive decline. But I am not a doctor, so do with my opinion what you will.

[Sarah92]

She should be showering at least every other day even if she’s just doing a quick rinse off. She and Ken go walking everyday right? That means she’s probably at least sweating a little.  If my clients tell me they aren’t showering for a full week I’d be concerned. Sure she might only wash her hair once a week, people used to do that all the time, however she should at least wash. But if she’s not going out a lot she might not know she smells. A lot of the people I work with don’t always realize the smells they carry around from not bathing or having a lot of cats they don’t properly clean after.

[rayneflower]

Mother of God! Get that woman a shower, stat! 

Why would she share the need to share this?  No wonder she always looks frazzled and dry haired when she does her videos. 

 

I wish I could see what else about her 'personal' life that she felt the need to share to her chatroom. 

 

Edit to add:

So I got curious and looked at the 'application' to join the Facebook group. That is just insane amounts of info that she asks for. She want's to know everything, just to talk to people. I understand the asking are you religious, but she does everything but ask for a social! I've never seen a FACEBOOK group ask so many questions! To bad she doesn't have a FreeJinger clause in there  . 

 

I want to know the dirt, but I don't want her to know all the info about me just to see what she posts in there. 

Edited January 5, 2020 by rayneflower

[usmcmom]

9 hours ago, Loveday said:

File this one under 'Way Too Much Information.'  Lori tells her chatroom peeps that she doesn't need to shower but once a week. She doesn't smell, she says. And she wears shirts several times before throwing them in the wash, unless she spills something on them. And then she asks the chatroom members to share something they feel is special about themselves.

Well, it does explain why she so often looks the way she does, I suppose. 

I am so confused. 
Why does Lori think this information makes her special?  Like...what the ever lovin’ heck possesses a grown woman to share this and call it special? 

Seriously, I need to know more and I kind of hate myself for it.  

[SilverBeach]

I guess Lori never heard about cleanliness being next to godliness. In the unlikely event there is no body odor after a week of not washing her ass and no deodorant, she surely is just not fresh. I would never share a bed and disrespect my bedmate in this way, but Lori acts likes she is 90 and probably stopped the ten minutes and lube a long time ago.  Sad and pathetic, so many of us in or mid sixties enjoy an active sex life. And pampering ourselves in the shower. 

[Emilycharlotte]

I think the “specialness” isn’t because she showers once a week, but because (she believes) she doesn’t have body odors like every other person in the world. I’m reminded of years ago when Candy Brauer said that, due to her amazingly healthy diet, her bowel movements were odor-free. ?

 

Edited January 5, 2020 by Emilycharlotte
edit

[Sarah92]

In my undergrad we visited a Christian commune for a multicultural class. I have mixed feelings about this visit. On one hand it was cool to see people living together and sharing all they have. On the other, it was pretty dirty and the people were a bit.... different. Very old school hippie. 
Anyways, our tour guide was a young guy who could talk for days and no one wanted to sit super close to because he only showered about once a week. I’m pretty sure this was info he provided himself.  Overall, not a habit I’d promote. 

[Chocolate Lover]

I used to think I didn't smell.  I know better now BUT I can't always smell it when others can.

[rayneflower]

5 hours ago, usmcmom said:

I am so confused. 
Why does Lori think this information makes her special?  Like...what the ever lovin’ heck possesses a grown woman to share this and call it special? 

Seriously, I need to know more and I kind of hate myself for it.  

 

I need to know what post made her decide to share this to people. That is way to personal. 

 

Are we sure she doesn't have dementia? Are we sure? That was a kick off to my mom in law was her hygiene. 

[squiddysquid]

Immediately thought of Lori

 

[Loveday]

4 hours ago, rayneflower said:

Are we sure she doesn't have dementia? Are we sure? That was a kick off to my mom in law was her hygiene. 

One of the first signs in my mother in law's descent into Alzheimer's as well. She had always been so fastidious about her personal hygiene, and then...she wasn't. And of course it got worse and worse as her illness progressed. She would say she'd showered that morning, or she'd say she didn't need one as she hadn't been sweating, when all the time she smelled so bad. I felt awful for her, because I knew that if she were compos mentis she'd have been so embarrassed. ?

[wallysmommy]

She's all excited because only men spoke in church this morning.  I hope that she took her weekly shower before she went.  

Thus far this weekend, we have been told to beat your kids if your husband demands it, women shouldn't vote, and being single is a very bad thing.  For me, no husband, I vote how I want to vote, and I love being single.  

[cindyluvs24]

New thread title : Lori Alexander - Stinking Inside and Out

[squiddysquid]

And to think she greases her skin with left over cooking (chicken juice) fat on top of the once-weekly shower Do you think flies follow her?