Lori Alexander 74: Anniversary Pain

[Imrlgoddess]

Kids as the retirement plan: IMHO its rude & selfish. I can't fathom saddling my son or daughter with my personal burdens right in the middle of their active adult lives....

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Let's unpack Lori's post regarding the red flags men should notice about their potential wives (and then avoid them like the plague) and discover how they match up with Lori

Flag 1:  Missing/ Dead/ Absent/ Distant/ Absentee father = Lori has told us repeatedly that her father worked all the time and spent very little time at home with his wife and children. She admits she grew up almost despising him because of all the bad things her mother said about him. Score?  ? for Lori!!

Flag 2:  Parents have a contentious/ unhappy marriage. Wife/mother constantly harping on the husband/father. Parent fight. A lot = Lori has told us repeatedly her parents had a terrible marriage until her mother decided to be submissive to her father about 15 years before her passing.   Score?  ? for Lori!!

Flag 3:  Daughter is spoiled/ has Daddy issues  Lori always got her own way (and still does), As a grown woman she told her father to rub her feet -- and he did (!!??!!).  Score?  ? for Lori!!

Final Score:  3 Red ? s for Lori!!

Her blog post even admits no man should marry a woman like she was at 22 -- 27 -- 31 -- 41 -- 44........ right up until the time Ken threatened to divorce her raging bitch self  she was "convicted" by Debi Pearl's stupid book to (pretend) to be submissive. So she could keep her meal ticket.

Sooooo FJ-ers ........... why did Ken marry Lori?  A woman who didn't love him, didn't like him, wasn't sexually attracted to him, fought with him the whole time they were dating, had a fight on their honeymoon over spray cheese, then kept it up for over 25 years until he threatened divorce. Seriously -- why did he marry a woman like that? Surely he could have found someone who liked him, much less love him?????

Lori has 3 Red flags for Pete's sake!!

 I often doubt Ken's intelligence when it comes to the wall o' text fundie BS he spouts -- but I never thought him lacking in the self-preservation gene.

Edited January 18, 2020 by Red Hair, Black Dress

[Frog99]

3 hours ago, Black Aliss said:

I can't begin to keep up with the Adventures of Lori and Ken, so apologies if this has already been mentioned. Robyn Pennacchia of Wonkette.com has Lori in her sights again, this time for her most recent fat-shaming. Not for the first time I'm thinking at least some of the wonkette staff are reading here. If so, <waves> "hi! I'm a huge fan of yours."

I wasn’t aware of Wonkette before now- but I’ve added a book mark to their site- thanks for sharing!

[Imrlgoddess]

1 hour ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Seriously -- why did he marry a woman like that? Surely he could have found someone who liked him, much less love him?????

I've often wondered that also... but after a while I developed a theory about that.

I think he married her for the same reasons she pursued him... she ticked certain boxes. One consistent comment he's made about her is "she's cute". In her early photos, she's a striking woman, so one check mark down.

She came from a well off family, check 2. Can't hurt to have a safety net. 

She had an education, little did he know how far she'd go to avoid working, but he found out. Check number 3. 

She wanted children & went to church, boxes 4 & 5.

I'm sure he figured she'd chill out or be too busy to bitch,  that obviously didn't happen. In recent posts & blogs they've both basically admitted that he stayed with her for the children. I think he didn't want to break up the family so he worked as much as possible to stay away from her. 

Oh and did I mention she had wealthy parents? He was, supposedly, a missionary kid. Grew up in a poor family that traveled, so I think catching a glimpse of life from the other side was appealing. What young man wouldn't at least consider a cush life in sunny California with a pretty woman... There are men who stay with bat shit crazy broads for far less.  

[Sarah92]

Ken has such a a weird way of wording things. Also there isn’t any taking responsibility on his part. If I was married to him I’d probably be pretty hurt. He makes it seem like it was all Lori’s problem as the “Beautiful difficult wife” who had father issues. But I’m positive he played a role in their poor marriage, “Mr. Iron my shirt now that you’re submissive”. 

[feministxtian]

Kids as retirement plans...SO not a good idea. My mother had that idea and well, it made me resent and yes, hate her, even more. My kids are SO not my retirement plan, although knowing them, that is what they will want to do (have I mentioned there seems to be some issue with understanding the umbilical cord was cut?). I'm a firm believer that family helps family. 

However, I may end up doing something Lori would NEVER EVER do...my son and his wife have split up. He wants custody of their unborn baby (she's from a foreign country and he's afraid she would take the baby to that country). IF he ends up with custody, I will move up there to be the nanny. Not that I particularly want to, it's a part of the country I don't want to live in (too cold, too snowy), but if necessary, I'll uproot my life...mostly because I can and it's a good thing for him.

Lori hasn't the faintest idea of what its like to put yourself aside for someone else's greater good. 

[cindyluvs24]

1 hour ago, Imrlgoddess said:

I've often wondered that also... but after a while I developed a theory about that.

I think he married her for the same reasons she pursued him... she ticked certain boxes. One consistent comment he's made about her is "she's cute". In her early photos, she's a striking woman, so one check mark down.

She came from a well off family, check 2. Can't hurt to have a safety net. 

She had an education, little did he know how far she'd go to avoid working, but he found out. Check number 3. 

She wanted children & went to church, boxes 4 & 5.

I'm sure he figured she'd chill out or be too busy to bitch,  that obviously didn't happen. In recent posts & blogs they've both basically admitted that he stayed with her for the children. I think he didn't want to break up the family so he worked as much as possible to stay away from her. 

Oh and did I mention she had wealthy parents? He was, supposedly, a missionary kid. Grew up in a poor family that traveled, so I think catching a glimpse of life from the other side was appealing. What young man wouldn't at least consider a cush life in sunny California with a pretty woman... There are men who stay with bat shit crazy broads for far less.  

I'd like to think it was because she gave really good head - it would increase my respect for Ken at least.

[Lgirlrocks]

Lori is once again harping on about not denying your husband sex. 
my boy friend and I have been together five years. We have lived together for almost three of those years. I have a much high sex drive then he does. We don’t even have sex once a month. I have never once cheated or even thought of it. I love him. Our intimacy is more than just sex. It’s snuggles, deep conversations, and kisses. 
how is it wrong to deny your husband but not wrong to force yourself on your wife? If your spouse doesn’t want sex why not find out why? How hard is that? 

[feministxtian]

10 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

Our intimacy is more than just sex. It’s snuggles, deep conversations, and kisses. 

YES!!!! Why do people assume that intimacy = sex? Hub and I didn't have sex for quite a while before he died. I did not cheat on him. I mean, I was more like a caretaker through that time, but that didn't make me want to go find some strange. I STILL don't want to find some strange. What hub and I had was special, sacred, and the day he left was the day my soul was torn in 2. Half of me went with him. I don't think there's many of these fundie types who can say that...they see marriage as a transaction, not the 2 becoming one. We were one. 

[Lgirlrocks]

57 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

YES!!!! Why do people assume that intimacy = sex? Hub and I didn't have sex for quite a while before he died. I did not cheat on him. I mean, I was more like a caretaker through that time, but that didn't make me want to go find some strange. I STILL don't want to find some strange. What hub and I had was special, sacred, and the day he left was the day my soul was torn in 2. Half of me went with him. I don't think there's many of these fundie types who can say that...they see marriage as a transaction, not the 2 becoming one. We were one. 

My dad was extremely sick for Six years before he died. Even though he thought my mom was hot and wanted sex he physically couldn’t do it. My mom never cheated on him. My dad wouldn’t have cheated on my mom if she had been sick. Marriage is about so much more than sex. 

[Sarah92]

Cheating is always a personal choice. As a counselor we are taught about the temptation to engage in relationships with clients. When you’re sharing emotions, vulnerability,  and building rapport some people might fall into it without strong boundaries. But that’s just it, having boundaries. Partners who cheat choose to allow those boundaries to be broken. Pastors who have sex with their church members are allowing those boundaries to be crossed. You sense a connection being made that shouldn’t be crossed? Remove yourself from that situation. Husbands who cheat are their wives are slimy people and are making a personal choice to break a covenant. 

[Lgirlrocks]

My question to Lori is: if a wife cheats on her husband because he won’t put out is he at fault? I know the answer is no. In her mind it’s always the women’s fault. 

[onemama]

On 1/18/2020 at 7:29 PM, Imrlgoddess said:

I can't fathom saddling my son or daughter with my personal burdens right in the middle of their active adult lives....

Especially considering that we don't know what their adult lives are going to be like!  

On 1/18/2020 at 11:19 PM, Sarah92 said:

He makes it seem like it was all Lori’s problem as the “Beautiful difficult wife” who had father issues. But I’m positive he played a role in their poor marriage

I agree with you and it's sad. The only failure or mistake Ken admits to is not having stepped up to his position as head of his wife and demanded that she submit to him.  

If these two really want to help married couples, they should shut up, do some reflecting on what went wrong in their marriage, and then be honest about it. 

[onemama]

On 1/18/2020 at 8:49 PM, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Sooooo FJ-ers ........... why did Ken marry Lori? 

Because he was infatuated with her?  According to Christian marriage experts, most couples marry at some point during the 18 months (give or take) of infatuation.   I'm not saying this is necessarily true, I'm just throwing it out there as a possibility. 

On 1/18/2020 at 10:56 PM, Imrlgoddess said:

I think he married her for the same reasons she pursued him... she ticked certain boxes. One consistent comment he's made about her is "she's cute". In her early photos, she's a striking woman

I agree with this, and this supports my theory that he was in love. 

Am I the only one who thinks that discussing other people's marriages is rude?  I feel a bit icky discussing whether Ken and Lori should have even married, but then I remember it's Ken and Lori, the extraordinarily rude and offensive couple who don't think twice before they attack everyone else and their marriages.  

This is the fruit if their "ministry". It stinks.  I hope they read this and feel the same shame (or conviction) Lori hopes overweight people feel when they are mocked. 

[delphinium65]

1 hour ago, onemama said:

Am I the only one who thinks that discussing other people's marriages is rude?  I feel a bit icky discussing whether Ken and Lori should have even married, but then I remember it's Ken and Lori, the extraordinarily rude and offensive couple who don't think twice before they attack everyone else and their marriages.  

Same here. Normally I try to stay out of a lot of discussions about other people's lives, as much as possible, but since these two have set themselves up as experts on marriage, and life in general, they have chosen to be in the spotlight.  That makes them fair game IMO.  

That's also my standard policy for talking about another person's appearance.  It's a topic I usually avoid, but since Lori has made women's bodies and fashion choices a large part of her message...well, she put the target on herself, at least regarding the things she can control, like weight, smiles or lack thereof, etc. She simply will not shut up about these things where other women are concerned, so she has no right to expect other people to leave her alone. 

[Sarah92]

So I have a problem with Lori saying there is less crime in the past... and that the good ole days were sooooo much better. While I was born in the 90s I’ve heard quite a bit about the 50-60s. And my question is, was crime really lower or did people just not get caught? The US seems like it has a high rate now but crime rate is supposedly dropping. It’s simply televised now. But how often was crime under reported because of social norms? Rape and abuse were most likely heavily underreported as it is today. How many women were killed and it was an “accident“ or she didn’t have good standing in society so no one cared (think all the serial killers who killed prostitutes).  Were small towns actually documenting crimes or did they take an Andy Griffith approach to crime? So many questions that I’m certain Lori wouldn’t care to answer. 

[onemama]

6 hours ago, delphinium65 said:

she has no right to expect other people to leave her alone. 

No. She doesn't! 

[EmmaWoodhouse]

2 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

So I have a problem with Lori saying there is less crime in the past... and that the good ole days were sooooo much better. While I was born in the 90s I’ve heard quite a bit about the 50-60s. And my question is, was crime really lower or did people just not get caught? The US seems like it has a high rate now but crime rate is supposedly dropping. It’s simply televised now. But how often was crime under reported because of social norms? Rape and abuse were most likely heavily underreported as it is today. How many women were killed and it was an “accident“ or she didn’t have good standing in society so no one cared (think all the serial killers who killed prostitutes).  Were small towns actually documenting crimes or did they take an Andy Griffith approach to crime? So many questions that I’m certain Lori wouldn’t care to answer. 

I recently read Just Mercy, a book about racial/socioeconomic injustice in the US.  If you look at all the crimes in the mid-1900's (many committed the powerful and privileged against those who could not defend themselves), there's no indication that the crime rate was any lower in the "good ol' days."  But none of these would have affected Queen Lori, so obviously they don't count. /sarcasm

[Maggie Mae]

3 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

So I have a problem with Lori saying there is less crime in the past... and that the good ole days were sooooo much better. While I was born in the 90s I’ve heard quite a bit about the 50-60s. And my question is, was crime really lower or did people just not get caught? The US seems like it has a high rate now but crime rate is supposedly dropping. It’s simply televised now. But how often was crime under reported because of social norms? Rape and abuse were most likely heavily underreported as it is today. How many women were killed and it was an “accident“ or she didn’t have good standing in society so no one cared (think all the serial killers who killed prostitutes).  Were small towns actually documenting crimes or did they take an Andy Griffith approach to crime? So many questions that I’m certain Lori wouldn’t care to answer. 

Crime rates have dropped. Homicides peaked in the 70s. Violent crimes peaked in 91. The only difference now vs then is that we know more about major crimes. If someone murdered his wife in 1994, I might hear about it on the news, or if it was someone famous, they might interrupt regular programing so everyone could watch a car chase. But now, we'd hear about it instantly if it was horriffic, sad, or involved someone famous. And we're bombarded with bad news about crimes all day. If someone steals a car in my neighborhood, I get alerted by next door, Facebook, and annoying co-workers. 

[usmcmom]

Does anybody else think Lori read about Anna Marie Maxwell’s cancer? Now she gets to point to herself as The Most Saved because she eats well and does not have cancer. 
 

Of course, her rigid eating habits didn’t save her from a brain tumor, parasites and...whatever mystery illnesses she’s had her whole adult life; but she doesn’t have cancer NOW.  

[wallysmommy]

Sunshine as much as possible, but she disdains sunscreen.  All the salad in the world won't prevent melanoma unless you stick the arugula to your face.

[Sarah92]

I’m sure many people would love her salad...idk since I know little about salad because I don’t tend to like... but the sound of it makes all my texture issues and my GERD scream at me to run away.  While I don’t use non-toxic makeup I use a fairly clean skin care regimen but I’m under no delusion that it would help prevent cancer. My skin just responds best to those products. Cancer runs in my family. My aunt just had surgery for pancreatic cancer. It was successful but it’s spread a bit so we’re hoping treatment will help. 

There isn’t anything wrong with taking care of your body, eating organic, Avoiding sugar etc. just understand it’s limitations 

[onemama]

1 hour ago, usmcmom said:

Does anybody else think Lori read about Anna Marie Maxwell’s cancer? Now she gets to point to herself as The Most Saved because she eats well and does not have cancer. 
 

Of course, her rigid eating habits didn’t save her from a brain tumor, parasites and...whatever mystery illnesses she’s had her whole adult life; but she doesn’t have cancer NOW.  

My problem is with her "we must do what we can to fight cancer". She knows she has a following and she knows that she has a lot more resources than most of her followers do.  You can't eat only organic if you're feeding a family of 10 or 12 on a very limited budget. You can't avoid cheap fillers like potatoes, bread and noodles either.  Once again, she's talking down to her followers and giving them one more thing to stress and worry about: am I doing my best to fight cancer? 

Shut up, Lori!

[Melissa1977]

The cancer post infuriates me. I doubt it's related to Anna Marie, because Lori admires Maxwells, I think. Anyway, it should be a good reason for Lori to shut up: a healthy young woman raised in a farm, non smoker, non drinker, having breastfeed babies for a looong time, submissive at maximum, and still got cancer. 

Alyssa does the same. She claimed being able to getting pregnant after a long detox (22 months I think). It could be just luck! Infertility is a hard experience which she suffered for 6 or more years, and she should know better before giving advice.

 

[usmcmom]

17 minutes ago, onemama said:

My problem is with her "we must do what we can to fight cancer". She knows she has a following and she knows that she has a lot more resources than most of her followers do.  You can't eat only organic if you're feeding a family of 10 or 12 on a very limited budget. You can't avoid cheap fillers like potatoes, bread and noodles either.  Once again, she's talking down to her followers and giving them one more thing to stress and worry about: am I doing my best to fight cancer? 

Shut up, Lori!

I was bothered most by her writing “...leave the results in the hands of The Lord.” My first thought was that she was saying one should not seek medical treatment for cancer.