Bro Gary Hawkins 12: IT BIBLE

[keepercjr]

Pretty sure Gary is in Ennis, TX, which is 35 miles south of Dallas

 

https://www.dallasnews.com/news/public-health/2020/03/25/dallas-county-reports-78-additional-cases-of-coronavirus/

[thoughtful]

Gary claims, in his latest rant, that California is threatening to turn off power and water because it's non-essential. Sure, Gary.

Oh, that's right after he complains about their already having closed up the gun shops. Also wrong, but hardly the same.

https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2020-03-25/sheriff-suspends-efforts-to-close-l-a-gun-stores-amid-coronavirus-restrictions

ETA - maybe he's misunderstanding (or some other asshole misunderstood and started a rumor that had it backwards) that they are not shutting off utilities for non-payment.

Oh, and he criticizes people who go to Walmart for food, but won't go to church, and says we should plant a garden and eat from that. Gary, if you ever planted a garden (or ate a plant-based food, other than sugar and starch), I'd think it was a miracle.

Edited March 25, 2020 by thoughtful

[zeebaneighba]

17 hours ago, keepercjr said:

Damn Jerald!  a plot to stop the church!?  Comments from a live video Gary did tonight (haven’t watched yet)

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

"Trail of bloods"

Do you suppose he meant trial?

2 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Gary claims, in his latest rant, that California is threatening to turn off power and water because it's non-essential. Sure, Gary.

Oh, that's right after he complains about their already having closed up the gun shops. Also wrong, but hardly the same.

https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2020-03-25/sheriff-suspends-efforts-to-close-l-a-gun-stores-amid-coronavirus-restrictions

ETA - maybe he's misunderstanding (or some other asshole misunderstood and started a rumor that had it backwards) that they are not shutting off utilities for non-payment.

Oh, and he criticizes people who go to Walmart for food, but won't go to church, and says we should plant a garden and eat from that. Gary, if you ever planted a garden (or ate a plant-based food, other than sugar and starch), I'd think it was a miracle.

Also, not that I expect Gary to know this, but GARDENS DON'T GIVE YOU FOOD IMMEDIATELY!  Even if we ALL planted gardens, it would be at least a month before we could stop shopping for even the fastest growing vegetables.

[Walking Cat Bed]

33 minutes ago, zeebaneighba said:

Also, not that I expect Gary to know this, but GARDENS DON'T GIVE YOU FOOD IMMEDIATELY!  Even if we ALL planted gardens, it would be at least a month before we could stop shopping for even the fastest growing vegetables.

And even prepared gardeners don't have much this time of year. My roommate in NC is a serious gardener, and this is almost pre-started seed planting season. 

[Ozlsn]

36 minutes ago, zeebaneighba said:

"Trail of bloods"

Do you suppose he meant trial?

Also, not that I expect Gary to know this, but GARDENS DON'T GIVE YOU FOOD IMMEDIATELY!  Even if we ALL planted gardens, it would be at least a month before we could stop shopping for even the fastest growing vegetables.

In Jerad's case "trail" seems about right. Trail of blood, viral particles, disease...

Also tell us about this garden you're planning to plant next to RV then Gary? Does this mean you're going to shelter in place and stop travelling around then? 

Talk about a hypocrite.

[Caroline]

2 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Gary claims, in his latest rant, that California is threatening to turn off power and water because it's non-essential. Sure, Gary.

Oh, that's right after he complains about their already having closed up the gun shops. Also wrong, but hardly the same.

https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2020-03-25/sheriff-suspends-efforts-to-close-l-a-gun-stores-amid-coronavirus-restrictions

ETA - maybe he's misunderstanding (or some other asshole misunderstood and started a rumor that had it backwards) that they are not shutting off utilities for non-payment.

Oh, and he criticizes people who go to Walmart for food, but won't go to church, and says we should plant a garden and eat from that. Gary, if you ever planted a garden (or ate a plant-based food, other than sugar and starch), I'd think it was a miracle.

Gary and Jerold, and well, all of them make the case for requiring quality education of everyone.  So scary to think these people are someone's neighbors.

[Dandruff]

3 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Gary claims, in his latest rant, that California is threatening to turn off power and water because it's non-essential. Sure, Gary.

Power and water:  essential

Bro:  not so much...if at all

[thoughtful]

Gary has a new video up. It's pretty incoherent, as are the comments. He yells a lot. It looks like he's sitting in some sort of institutional space - a rec room or cafeteria in a church, maybe? He says they are in lockdown now.

He says that God knew about Corona from the foundation of the world. And that there is "way more to it than just a 'vahris' - it's got a lot to do with political things, it's got a lot to do with religious . . . religion." He says there's a $1000 fine for gettin' caught meetin' in church, plus up to 190 days jail time.

He got some good news this mornin' - Jesus is still in control (in case you didn't catch that, he says it over and over).

His last rant criticized people for going to Walmart and whining that they need food, and he does it again. But, in between, he mentions that he went yesterday. Then he rants again about how the government has shut down church, but not Walmart.

He's got food in his refrigerator, he says, thanks to God, and to friends God put in their way. At least he thanks the people, but still thinks they were sent by God for him. Gary, it would be nice if you have food because you worked to earn money to buy it, instead of letting other hardworking people feed you for doing nothing.

Someone told him "They so many false preachers out there, I can teach my children just as good at home." He bellows "Well that's a lie straight out of hell!" He roars about how people need preachin', not Walmart.

He fumbles around trying to find a verse in, as he pronounces it, "Flipyins," then gives up and makes Becky find it.

He rambles about not having the exact food you want, but God will provide something. He may have to drink water rather than his Dr. Pepper, but God will provide something. He says if you don't get something by the end of the day, you didn't need it. Eventually, he gets to implying that this is true of medical supplies as well as food.

He keeps saying he's on the winning side, because he'll go to heaven if he dies.

He says the White House and the governors are doing some wrong things, and we should go vote some of these idiots out on election day. Don't get your hopes up thinking he's talking about Trump, though.

Gary's answer to people who say you're supposed to pray for those in authority? "You are. If Nancy Pelosi don't get born again, saved by the grace of God, she's gon' split Hell wide open. But that don't mean she need to be in the White House."

If you can figure that one out, let me know.

[Dandruff]

15 minutes ago, thoughtful said:

Gary's answer to people who say you're supposed to pray for those in authority? "You are. If Nancy Pelosi don't get born again, saved by the grace of God, she's gon' split Hell wide open. But that don't mean she need to be in the White House."

If you can figure that one out, let me know.

He believes she needs to be saved but doesn't want her in a position of authority?

[thoughtful]

4 minutes ago, Dandruff said:

He believes she needs to be saved but doesn't want her in a position of authority?

Yeah, the fact that what he's praying for is for her to get saved (guess he thinks she's going to hell for being Catholic) I got. But what does the White House have to do with it? She's not president, or running for that office.

I guess I'm expecting too much to think that Gary might know about the three branches of the US government.

Gary, this might be too mature for you, but give it a try:

 

[Ozlsn]

2 hours ago, thoughtful said:

His last rant criticized people for going to Walmart and whining that they need food, and he does it again. But, in between, he mentions that he went yesterday. Then he rants again about how the government has shut down church, but not Walmart.

His level of self-awareness is non-existent. Also I am just waiting for him to come out with the "man cannot live by bread alone" - this may or may not be true, but thanks to the wonders of technology they can attend church without leaving their house for which we should all be grateful. Unless there are deliveries they can't do the same with bread.

[thoughtful]

The way Gary pronounces Phillipians reminded me of something, but I couldn't place it. It just occurred to me - Benicio del Toro in The Usual Suspects!

 

[griffin]

He doesn't go to Walmart. He goes to "Walmart's".

 

[smittykins]

I’m surprised it’s not “The Walmarts.”

(I’m reminded of the “Shit Southern Women Say” YouTube series, where one woman always says “They got __________ on sale down at the Walmart” in every video.)

Edited March 27, 2020 by smittykins

[mango_fandango]

Food is not as important as church? Say what? Pretty sure you can’t attend church if you’ve died from starvation. Gary is batshit.

[Conundrum]

On 3/25/2020 at 3:58 PM, Ozlsn said:

 

Talk about a hypocrite.

I thought the exact same As I was listening to him scream. He isn't doing ANYTHING except costing the church and its congregation time, money, and aggrivation! He stated he was a couple weeks early because he was afraid the interstate would close. God forbid he stay home like he should because he wouldn't be able to collect the "love offerings." The members of that church ("friends God put in his path") are the ones who put food in the refrigerator for him and Becky, he admitted that during the scream fest! 

I usually just laugh at him but most of them are likely not working right now. He's just a burden on them, not helping as he claims.

He pissed me off with that video!

Edited March 27, 2020 by Conundrum
Food goes in a refrigerator, not on it.

[Alisamer]

14 hours ago, thoughtful said:

Yeah, the fact that what he's praying for is for her to get saved (guess he thinks she's going to hell for being Catholic) I got. But what does the White House have to do with it? She's not president, or running for that office.

She is third in line, isn't she? So if Trump and Pence go down with the Coronavirus, she's next up.

Somehow I doubt Gary knows this. He doesn't seem to know much of anything.

If they were consistently using their RV I'd assume they were hauling around some tomato plants in buckets and calling it a "garden". But I highly doubt that's the case. 

Gardening is work, Gary. And it requires a place to do it. Since as best I can tell Gary is basically an unemployed homeless drifter who has somehow convinced people to toss money at him for yelling incoherently about the lord, I suspect his gardening experience consists of watering somebody else's plants while he crashed at their house once.

[thoughtful]

9 hours ago, griffin said:

He doesn't go to Walmart. He goes to "Walmart's".

I stand corrected. ?

12 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

She is third in line, isn't she? So if Trump and Pence go down with the Coronavirus, she's next up.

Somehow I doubt Gary knows this. He doesn't seem to know much of anything.

True - both.

13 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

 I suspect his gardening experience consists of watering somebody else's plants while he crashed at their house once.

I can't imagine him even doing that much work. He'd sit in a chair and yell "Becky, go water them plants."

Probably in the middle of a Facebook live video.

[Antipatriarch]

19 hours ago, thoughtful said:

He says there's a $1000 fine for gettin' caught meetin' in church, plus up to 190 days jail time.

Hm. A few specific localities do seem to have put $1000 / 6 month penalties in place, but I suspect (1) they won't be heavily enforced; maybe just egregious violations, and (2) they won't be enforced for churches (especially in the states Gary haunts) -- Christians would wave their RFRAs and scream bloody murder. Count me skeptical that any Christians or churches are going to get hit with this. I think this is Christian-persecution fear-mongering.

19 hours ago, thoughtful said:

He fumbles around trying to find a verse in, as he pronounces it, "Flipyins," then gives up and makes Becky find it.

 Classic. What a great spiritual leader.

Edited March 27, 2020 by Antipatriarch
I did find a few places doing $1000 / 6 month

[keepercjr]

4 hours ago, Conundrum said:

I thought the exact same As I was listening to him scream. He isn't doing ANYTHING except costing the church and its congregation time, money, and aggrivation! He stated he was a couple weeks early because he was afraid the interstate would close. God forbid he stay home like he should because he wouldn't be able to collect the "love offerings." The members of that church ("friends God put in his path") are the ones who put food in the refrigerator for him and Becky, he admitted that during the scream fest! 

I usually just laugh at him but most of them are likely not working right now. He's just a burden on them, not helping as he claims.

He pissed me off with that video!

Unfortunately, the people running that church LOVE him.  The mom of the pastor comments on a lot of his videos.  She is also a coronoavirus denier (the severity anyway).  They are refusing to cancel services but I believe they are live streaming. 

[thoughtful]

Another video today. Gary seems so intrigued by the time difference now that he's in Texas - he mentions it at the beginning of every video.

He says "we're in (chuckles) pandemic times, Creena virus, CO-somethin', C -O- V 19, China vahris, whatever ya wanna call it."

Gary, you're a regular Donald Trump.

Then he stumbles around verbally for a while, reads some verses, and finally says that, in times like these, we need those people who say they are saved to follow 2 Corinthians 13:5, and he reads it out, as only Gary can:

"Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reptobates."

He goes back to his old themes, quoting "Flipyins" to reassure us that God will provide for our needs, and rant about people going to Walmart and despairing that there isn't enough food, then talking about how he went to Walmart and there wasn't enough food (to be fair, he does say he wasn't upset about that, and says he is fat enough that he could afford to fast).

He wants everyone who is saved to prove that Jesus is real. He finds about twelve different ways to say that, getting into his preacher cadence. Then he goes for a pianissimo passage of saying he just wants to save us from hell, and lots of other disconnected, disjointed things.

Gary, if I want to hear notes and rhythms with dynamic changes, repeated phrases, and no sensible words, I'll listen to an instrumental piece. Words should say something.

Gary does not believe in the sinner's prayer - there's no such thing in the Bible. And getting baptized is not the same as being saved.

Then, back to "who do we listen to - the government or Jesus? I'm recommending* you get out there and mingle with ever'body and get all over ever'body, you can say you're distancin' (mumble I can't understand) Jesus. Amen!"

*It's at about 14:50, if anyone else wants to give it a shot - maybe he said "I'm not recommending" but I can't hear it

 

Gary is sniffing and snorting, and occasionally coughing, throughout this video. Hope he isn't sick, and doesn't make anyone else sick.

Gary, your dog was looking for attention while you were preaching - giving him some petting would have been a better use of your time than this word salad.

[thoughtful]

Reptobate?

Spoiler

Or maybe it's a verb, not a noun:

Spoiler

 

[Ozlsn]

1 hour ago, thoughtful said:

Gary, if I want to hear notes and rhythms with dynamic changes, repeated phrases, and no sensible words, I'll listen to an instrumental piece. Words should say something.

OK, I laughed out loud. That sums him up so well. Trying to decide which composer would have written it.

[thoughtful]

2 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

OK, I laughed out loud. That sums him up so well. Trying to decide which composer would have written it.

Arnold Schoenberg? 

Charles Ives?

Nah, they were both too organized.

 

Edited March 28, 2020 by thoughtful
fixing weird video link

[AmazonGrace]

5 hours ago, thoughtful said:

"We need to be sharing the gospel with lots and lots of people. We understand that this virus is very bad but who did we listen to - the government or Jesus? I'm recommending you to be out there and mingle with everybody and be all over everybody, and I know you could say you're distancin' , give Jesus Amen!"

 

that's what I heard.

he's out there in a lonely room, not out there getting in people's faces so maybe he's not practicing what he preaches. Hopefully.

Edited March 28, 2020 by AmazonGrace