Bro Gary Hawkins 12: IT BIBLE

[Dysfundamental]

14 hours ago, AmazonGrace said:

Gary is doing a live again... he is mad that liquor stores are open. It's more than a virus. Whatever this thing is he doesn't want it. He prays for everybody. But we are just sitting back and letting our rights to be taken away little by little. The sad part is that some churches agreed that it's ok not to get together.

He doesn't want you to get it but he wants you to go to church and get it there.

Liquor stores are open so that the health care system isn’t overwhelmed by people with alcoholism in sudden forced detox (which can be fatal). I have encountered people a lot smarter than Bro Gary who don’t know that. 

[FiveAcres]

7 hours ago, Dysfundamental said:

Liquor stores are open so that the health care system isn’t overwhelmed by people with alcoholism in sudden forced detox (which can be fatal). I have encountered people a lot smarter than Bro Gary who don’t know that. 

Including high-functioning alcoholics who may not realize the extant of their dependency.

[EyesOpen]

Do we have an over under on if bro is going to try to go to church?

[EyesOpen]

Do we have an over under on if bro is going to try to go to church?

[thoughtful]

I have no doubt they are in church (well, right now they're always in the church, since they are living there, but you know what I mean).

[griffin]

It's noon in Texas right now and he hasn't posted a live service nor a live rant from his rolling chair. I really can't believe they didn't have a service! 

[thoughtful]

32 minutes ago, griffin said:

It's noon in Texas right now and he hasn't posted a live service nor a live rant from his rolling chair. I really can't believe they didn't have a service! 

They did. It's on the church's site:

 

[keepercjr]

After posting a relatively good update on Bro. Gary Lutrick yesterday, the update today is not good at all.  He has now been intubated for 2 weeks and in the hospital for 3 weeks.  Before he was intubated, she said the doctors were giving him a "Trump cocktail" (I am assuming the hydroxychloroquin and azithromycin treatment he won't shut up about) and obviously it didn't work.  About a week ago she said he was being enrolled in a clinical trial for some medicine but she didn't specify which one. 

[thoughtful]

First Baptist of Ennis is getting fancy with the technology for Easter Resurrection Sunday:

 

Read that word: Bethabara. Pastor Ummm Bradford can't seem to read it - he makes three tries, never gets it right, and says something about it being a "place outside of Jordan, I think."

Ordinarily I'd be sympathetic to anybody who had an unknown book plopped in front of them and took a few seconds to sound out a transliterated word from another language. However:

- he's supposed to be a pastor, who studied, and who should know that the prefix "Beth" is very common in place names. It means "house" or "house of" in Hebrew (it's not a good transliteration, since there really isn't a full "th" sound in Hebrew, but it seems to be pretty common - hence all of the "Beth _____" synagogue names).
- it's the KJV, which he supposedly knows intimately.
- he should have prepared for his sermon, and practiced saying it out loud.
- it's not a difficult word to sound out, and get the th, b, and r in the right order (which is what he repeatedly fails to do).

That's a small thing, but it is part of the big picture. He and Bro Gary are so thick. My childhood rabbi, the Episcopal priests I worked with when I was a choir director, and other clergy I've met, must have really spoiled me with their erudition, kindness and leadership. I have a hard time with the very idea of people wanting to listen to a stupid, uneducated person alternating between droning dully and yelling, and not having a clue what he is talking about.

If he was cousin nobody pontificating at the Thanksgiving table, it would be one thing. But these people hired him, pay him, give money to the church, respect him as their pastor, and sit there (and sit there, and sit there) and listen to him.

Blech.

[thoughtful]

From the pastor's sermon, on the subject of non-KJV bibles, which he refers to as "perversions," after he says he's not naming any names, so as not to offend anyone:

"like the "Non-Inspired Version, or, uhhhhh, one dear preacher friend said 'the Nutty and Idiot Version' amen."

Then he rattles off a bunch of the abbreviations, and finishes with "all we need is the Pillsbury Doughboy Bible, amen?"

He gets into full yelling-and-pacing preacher mode, going on about how, even in Jesus' time, people tried to pervert his words, then freezes up trying to remember a word. Someone in the congregation realizes he's trying to remember "Mandela effect."

He goes on (mispronouncing Mandela, of course), and says "that's a bunch of nonsense . . . the Bible hasn't changed, it's just that idiots don't know how to read the Bible."

Very inspiring, Pastor. ?

[thoughtful]

The pastor tells one of those "adorable" stories of being "whupped" when he was a kid.

It's pretty much as obnoxious as you'd expect, although his delivery is much better theater than usual. I put it under a spoiler, in case reading about such things is upsetting to anyone.

Spoiler

He says his father was a hard man - a good man, but hard.

Dad, to punish him and his brother for fighting, had them cut switches, told him to bend over, then gave his six lickings to his brother. Dad then told his brother to hit him six times, and that he would get another six if he didn't. His brother refused to hit him, and took six more for him. 

His point is that we should respect Jesus for taking the punishment for us, like his brother did. Now I'm curious as to what Pastor Bradford thinks of corporal punishment. If he was so grateful to his brother for taking those lickings, does he acknowledge that lashing children with a stick is a bad thing?

Nah, what am I thinking.

It starts at about 1:22:45, if anyone wants to listen.

[thoughtful]

Sunday evening virus-spreading is live now, if anyone wants to watch.

 

[Ozlsn]

9 hours ago, keepercjr said:

After posting a relatively good update on Bro. Gary Lutrick yesterday, the update today is not good at all.  He has now been intubated for 2 weeks and in the hospital for 3 weeks.  Before he was intubated, she said the doctors were giving him a "Trump cocktail" (I am assuming the hydroxychloroquin and azithromycin treatment he won't shut up about) and obviously it didn't work.  About a week ago she said he was being enrolled in a clinical trial for some medicine but she didn't specify which one. 

Oh boy. That is really not good. 40% oxygen to still be at 95% saturation... is not a good sign at all, and I am assuming he's intubated so already at reasonable pressures. 

And another 2 weeks like that... Sounds optimistic to me, and it disturbs me that I am thinking that. I am not a medical professional, but I had a child on varying levels of oxygen support (from intubation to (eventually) low flow) for an extended period and yeah, if there's one thing I learned it's that extended periods on high levels of oxygen support are not good, and lungs recover slowly (if at all). A two week estimation to me sounds like an extremely poor prognosis.

[keepercjr]

37 minutes ago, Ozlsn said:

Oh boy. That is really not good. 40% oxygen to still be at 95% saturation... is not a good sign at all, and I am assuming he's intubated so already at reasonable pressures. 

And another 2 weeks like that... Sounds optimistic to me, and it disturbs me that I am thinking that. I am not a medical professional, but I had a child on varying levels of oxygen support (from intubation to (eventually) low flow) for an extended period and yeah, if there's one thing I learned it's that extended periods on high levels of oxygen support are not good, and lungs recover slowly (if at all). A two week estimation to me sounds like an extremely poor prognosis.

Yes he is intubated... been on the vent for 2 weeks already.  tomorrow marks 3 total weeks in the hospital.  He has been having nearly daily fevers.  I think he has only gone 24 hours without a fever like twice during this whole ordeal. 

Coronavirus seems to really require A LOT of oxygen.  some people are getting nearly 100% oxygen and still keeping low sats (not ventilated).  And even with sats in the 70s, not everyone actually looks hypoxic as they should.  It is a very nuanced disease and though there is a basic progression, people don't always appear as sick as they actually are. 

[AmazonGrace]

Can you help Gary and Rebecca find there free lodging's Thanks?
 

Spoiler

 

Gary Hawkins is with Rebecca Hawkins.

11 April at 18:15 ·

Ok folks I am trying to get in touch with Fellowship Baptist Church in Jackson MS. I have the Church # and have left a message but have not heard from anyone. Not sure what there service's are. Needing to see if we can use there Mission Quarters for Tuesday and Wednesday Nights April the 14th 15th. If anyone can help Thanks

 

 

[smittykins]

20 hours ago, thoughtful said:

like the "Non-Inspired Version, or, uhhhhh, one dear preacher friend said 'the Nutty and Idiot Version' amen."

Stuff Fundies Like has an interesting post on this subject.

[AmazonGrace]

I cropped  a child and a huge white screen out of this photo. It looks like Gary's head has met with an unfortunate accident

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

47 minutes ago, AmazonGrace said:

I cropped  a child and a huge white screen out of this photo. It looks like Gary's head has met with an unfortunate accident

Jesus that tie!  

[Xan]

When Steve Martin had the arrow through the head routine he called himself "a wild and crazy guy".  I figure that if you just have the stick coming out of one side of your head, you can just be called "a crazy guy".  It fits.

[Dandruff]

On 4/13/2020 at 3:22 PM, AmazonGrace said:

I cropped  a child and a huge white screen out of this photo. It looks like Gary's head has met with an unfortunate accident

Now he really looks like a pinhead.

[Georgiana]

Truly God is great, for out of the vast emptiness contained within Gary's skull from which nothing of value has ever before come, God hath verily caused a MICROPHONE to spring forth! IT MIRACLE! 

[wallysmommy]

Mississippi has put the kibosh on church services.  If Bro. Gary and company plan to have church this week, they're going to find themselves with a $500 misdemeanor fine.

[Caroline]

Can they afford that?  never mind......

[Dana723]

On 4/13/2020 at 4:13 PM, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

Jesus that tie!  

About 20 years ago, I worked in a doctors office and we got all kinds of free stuff from the drug reps.  (Side note:  They stopped doing that about 15 years ago...)  We all used to fight over the Viagra items.  One year, I was blessed to get a Viagra tie!  It was criss-crossed with little Viagra pills in the boxes.  My dad wore it to church one Sunday.  He was the minister.  You couldn't tell it was a Viagra tie until you got close though.

[Black Aliss]

2 hours ago, Dana723 said:

About 20 years ago, I worked in a doctors office and we got all kinds of free stuff from the drug reps.  (Side note:  They stopped doing that about 15 years ago...)  We all used to fight over the Viagra items.  One year, I was blessed to get a Viagra tie!  It was criss-crossed with little Viagra pills in the boxes.  My dad wore it to church one Sunday.  He was the minister.  You couldn't tell it was a Viagra tie until you got close though.

I have two face masks on order from Utah Harm Reduction Coalition. One has a vulva print (they call it vagina, but it's vulvas) and the other is covered with penises. Thing is, if you're close enough to make out the design, you're standing too close, period. They are pricey for face masks but it's in support of an organization that's doing good things with needle exchanges, and addiction counseling and referral services.