Alyssa and John 4: SOTDRT Next Generation

[JermajestyDuggar]

48 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

That’s how I was as a kid. No dresses unless bribed or I was playing dress up. I got left home from church one Easter because I refused to wear a dress. My mom made my dad come back and get me. He didn’t punish me. I would not have lasted long in a fundie family. I was always a good kid that listened but I hated dresses. 

Same. I asked my mom once why there were so many pictures of me in ugly overalls when I was little. She said that’s all I would wear ?

[snickerz]

Her FB isn't private. She's a young, beautiful Thai woman who lives in Miami. No idea why she's taken such an interest in Alyssa.

[Lgirlrocks]

9 hours ago, snickerz said:

Her FB isn't private. She's a young, beautiful Thai woman who lives in Miami. No idea why she's taken such an interest in Alyssa.

When I click on the account of the women she tags as the clothes giver it’s private.

[singsingsing]

18 minutes ago, Lgirlrocks said:

When I click on the account of the women she tags as the clothes giver it’s private.

@snickerz was referring to the woman's Facebook profile, at least parts of which are public.

As for why she's doing this... ?‍♀️ Maybe she has no kids of her own and enjoys living vicariously through Alyssa? Or just having real life dolls to dress up and she gets a thrill out of seeing her gifts displayed to thousands of people on Instagram? Who knows. It's really weird, whatever the reason, and it puts Alyssa in a pretty awkward position.

[Johannah]

Wouldn’t the appropriate “Christian” response (and celebrity status response, for that matter), be to donate the clothes to an organization that serves people in need? Or to redirect fans who would like to give a gift to such an organization?

[DLA]

I wonder if she is making money with the dresses. Selling them after the sunday picture with be the logical next step, i think.

[JermajestyDuggar]

4 hours ago, DLA said:

I wonder if she is making money with the dresses. Selling them after the sunday picture with be the logical next step, i think.

I wonder where she is going to store it all if she doesn’t give it away right when they grow out of it. Granted they are small clothes but still! That much clothing can take up a lot of space. Since she has a huge amount of nieces, she should give the clothing away to them. But that’s just my opinion. I give away my kids’ clothes to family members and other people who need them. 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I give away my kids’ clothes to family members and other people who need them. 

I have 3 or 4 things I do with my kids' old clothes. My kids are 8 and 10 years younger than their closest aged family members, so we don't have any family to give to right away. A few sentimental favorites get saved to give to family or friends in the future. The nicest of the rest go to secondhand stores that might buy them for store credit. (My 2 go-to stores went out of business, so this one hasn't happened lately.) The ones that are pretty good go to a charity's thrift store, and the ones that are pretty much rags go to a company that recycles them.

I can't really imagine having as many dresses to keep track of as Alyssa does, but then she probably can't imagine having as many books to keep track of as I do! ?

Edited October 25, 2019 by WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?
gerunds are our friends, and so is spelling

[rebeccawriter01]

I'm guessing that the show is either not going to discuss or cover Alyssa's heart issue or that they are playing with the timeline a bit. Alyssa's first ablation was around the same time as Carlin's shower. Gil and Kelly Jo traveled to be with Alyssa for that and then back to Tennessee for the shower. However, there wasn't really a mention of it on the show. Color me surprised! I was sure we'd get a talking head of Kelly Jo saying things about being stressed out with the wedding, Alyssa's procedure, two daughters moving, etc. 

[nausicaa]

On 10/21/2019 at 9:55 PM, Screamapillar said:

Because it's weird, Alyssa. It's weird. Unless my friend was Daddy Warbucks or Scrooge McDuck, I would be incredibly uncomfortable with them spending that much money on me and my children. 

It's so weird. And the fact that Alyssa is going along with it demonstrates just how much grifting was normalized in her upbringing. 

[browngrl]

I noticed on theBates instagram that the lot of them went on some family vacation. There are lots of pictures of various groups of Bates (on their various instagrams) but Alyssa and her family are just photographed alone and Alyssa is in none of the pictures of her sisters/SIL. Is there a rift? 

[AussieKrissy]

4 hours ago, browngrl said:

I noticed on theBates instagram that the lot of them went on some family vacation. There are lots of pictures of various groups of Bates (on their various instagrams) but Alyssa and her family are just photographed alone and Alyssa is in none of the pictures of her sisters/SIL. Is there a rift? 

She might have got there later than . She is in the group family photos now. 

[llucie]

7 hours ago, browngrl said:

I noticed on theBates instagram that the lot of them went on some family vacation. There are lots of pictures of various groups of Bates (on their various instagrams) but Alyssa and her family are just photographed alone and Alyssa is in none of the pictures of her sisters/SIL. Is there a rift? 

She seems closer with Trace than with her sisters, but i wouldn say there is a rift or anything like that, they posted lots of photos with Alyssa girls. Probably a personality thing convined with the fact its been years now of her living far away.

[mollysmom]

Plus if I remember correctly the pictures of the sisters were of all the pregnant sisters only.

[browngrl]

1 hour ago, mollysmom said:

Plus if I remember correctly the pictures of the sisters were of all the pregnant sisters only.

I think that picture include Josie. I don't think she is pregnant but it also does not include Michaela so I guess Alyssa presence/absence does not really mean much.

[mollysmom]

34 minutes ago, browngrl said:

I think that picture include Josie. I don't think she is pregnant but it also does not include Michaela so I guess Alyssa presence/absence does not really mean much.

You're right. I just saw that a few minutes ago. Thank you!  

[CaptainFunderpants]

9 hours ago, llucie said:

She seems closer with Trace than with her sisters, but i wouldn say there is a rift or anything like that, they posted lots of photos with Alyssa girls. Probably a personality thing convined with the fact its been years now of her living far away.

I wouldn't say that. It's pretty well known that Alyssa is close with particular siblings but not all of her siblings -which is what you would expect in a family this huge. She's notoriously close with Josie because they actually had a separate room from the rest of the sisters, and then it seems like she's also pretty close with Katie, Lawson, and I would assume Callie as well.

[PlentyOfJesusFishInTheSea]

On 10/22/2019 at 5:35 AM, AussieKrissy said:

She wouldn’t be able to handle my girl. 
it’s a nightmare trying to get her into a dress. 
My kid wants shorts (not girly ones unless it’s that or a skirt) and preferably always spiderman ones. 
she picks some amazing outfits on her own...  

sometimes I force her into a dress with bribery or just flat out tears on both our parts, for a special photo. Dress in on for the photo and then off. Saves on washing I suppose. 
Other than that I like her individuality. She prefers boy clothes over girls clothes  and that’s fine with me 99 percent of the time. One percent is the occasional professional photographer. 
I would have loved a little girl that liked bows and frills. What I didn’t know is that I love this little girl I got even more. 

I'm not trying to tell you how to parent (I promise!), but maybe you can find special clothes that include pants (I dunno, tiny tuxedo but in comfortable material?) and save yourself both some tears.

[rebeccawriter01]

On 10/27/2019 at 12:30 AM, browngrl said:

I noticed on theBates instagram that the lot of them went on some family vacation. There are lots of pictures of various groups of Bates (on their various instagrams) but Alyssa and her family are just photographed alone and Alyssa is in none of the pictures of her sisters/SIL. Is there a rift? 

 

On 10/27/2019 at 8:12 AM, llucie said:

She seems closer with Trace than with her sisters, but i wouldn say there is a rift or anything like that, they posted lots of photos with Alyssa girls. Probably a personality thing convined with the fact its been years now of her living far away.

Back in the original iteration of the show she made some comments about Trace and how they were paired up for a lot of things when they were younger. She also mentioned that she usually cheered for Warden to win things because she was his buddy (or whatever term the Bates use). 

Now that she is back to being the only sibling not living in the same general area, I'm sure there is a gap in the relationships she probably once had. She's not there for every single event or activity. As a mom of three, that's her priority and not necessarily knowing all the family drama. So it makes sense for her to go on double dates with Trace and Chaney to get to know Chaney who she has seen even less than the others (other than Valentine's and Chaney and Trace's trip to Disney?). 

I also don't know that she really likes the chaos and craziness of everyone all being together. While Michaela makes her way toward the babies and Erin/Tori/Carlin seem to thrive on being centers of attention, Alyssa appears to hang back a bit and be more comfortable with small groups or one on one conversations. I am similar to that with my extended family. I am not a Michaela, as I don't really enjoy babies who can't talk or tell me what they need. I'm not an Erin or Carlin who like all eyes on them. I am not a Tori who claims not to like that and still manages to jump into the middle. I would probably be like Alyssa or Josie who seem to care about their family but don't want to be right in the center of the action.

Both of them seem to enjoy doing things a little different than the rest of the family and managing their own lives without huge amounts of influence by Kelly Jo or others. Josie's control side came out in the planning of her wedding, which included her insistence on that style dress and having it outdoors despite Kelly Jo's reservations. I'm still proud of Alyssa for (so far) avoiding the circus of Kelly Jo, camera crews, and every sister in the room while she gives birth. 

[AussieKrissy]

7 hours ago, PlentyOfJesusFishInTheSea said:

I'm not trying to tell you how to parent (I promise!), but maybe you can find special clothes that include pants (I dunno, tiny tuxedo but in comfortable material?) and save yourself both some tears.

A spider-man tux, her and I would be all over that

[llucie]

6 hours ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

 

Back in the original iteration of the show she made some comments about Trace and how they were paired up for a lot of things when they were younger. She also mentioned that she usually cheered for Warden to win things because she was his buddy (or whatever term the Bates use). 

Now that she is back to being the only sibling not living in the same general area, I'm sure there is a gap in the relationships she probably once had. She's not there for every single event or activity. As a mom of three, that's her priority and not necessarily knowing all the family drama. So it makes sense for her to go on double dates with Trace and Chaney to get to know Chaney who she has seen even less than the others (other than Valentine's and Chaney and Trace's trip to Disney?). 

I also don't know that she really likes the chaos and craziness of everyone all being together. While Michaela makes her way toward the babies and Erin/Tori/Carlin seem to thrive on being centers of attention, Alyssa appears to hang back a bit and be more comfortable with small groups or one on one conversations. I am similar to that with my extended family. I am not a Michaela, as I don't really enjoy babies who can't talk or tell me what they need. I'm not an Erin or Carlin who like all eyes on them. I am not a Tori who claims not to like that and still manages to jump into the middle. I would probably be like Alyssa or Josie who seem to care about their family but don't want to be right in the center of the action.

Both of them seem to enjoy doing things a little different than the rest of the family and managing their own lives without huge amounts of influence by Kelly Jo or others. Josie's control side came out in the planning of her wedding, which included her insistence on that style dress and having it outdoors despite Kelly Jo's reservations. I'm still proud of Alyssa for (so far) avoiding the circus of Kelly Jo, camera crews, and every sister in the room while she gives birth. 

 

Even if i dont find Tori really nice personality wise i cant agree with your comment here. Tori has always said that she dislikes the media spotlight and so far she has been consistent with it. She barely updates her social media and when she does its rarely a photo of herself, its usually just the boy. And when the family does livestreams you usually can hear how they ask her to join and she refuses.

About Alyssa and Josie so far they seem to be enjoying the media attention a lot becoming influencers and doing constant photoshoots and sponsored posts on their accounts.

[rebeccawriter01]

6 hours ago, llucie said:

 

Even if i dont find Tori really nice personality wise i cant agree with your comment here. Tori has always said that she dislikes the media spotlight and so far she has been consistent with it. She barely updates her social media and when she does its rarely a photo of herself, its usually just the boy. And when the family does livestreams you usually can hear how they ask her to join and she refuses.

About Alyssa and Josie so far they seem to be enjoying the media attention a lot becoming influencers and doing constant photoshoots and sponsored posts on their accounts.

I'm not talking media spotlight. I am talking about family dynamics. Precourtship/marriage Tori was very much happy in her family's spotlight. Even after meeting Bobby, she has to a lesser degree seemed to enjoy (as much as she enjoys anything) the validation that she gets from having her family around. 

Alyssa and Josie are not shy. They just seem to appreciate and thrive on more than the validation of the family in a large group. Alyssa especially seems to appreciate smaller doses of siblings.

[llucie]

5 hours ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

I'm not talking media spotlight. I am talking about family dynamics. Precourtship/marriage Tori was very much happy in her family's spotlight. Even after meeting Bobby, she has to a lesser degree seemed to enjoy (as much as she enjoys anything) the validation that she gets from having her family around. 

Alyssa and Josie are not shy. They just seem to appreciate and thrive on more than the validation of the family in a large group. Alyssa especially seems to appreciate smaller doses of siblings.

Sorry then, i missunderstood your comment. About family dinamics for sure i agree that while Alyssa and Josie seem super independent from a really young age Tori is the complete oposite. I even believe they moved back to Tennessee because she couldnt cope being so far away from them. 

[SassyPants]

Alyssa has been in almost all of her siblings’ wedding, more so than the other Bates. Obviously she is close to many of her sibs. OTOH, her own MOH was not one of her sisters. I think AW is just quieter than many of her sibs. It would be hard to exceed Carlin’s shrill.

[Melissa1977]

Both Alyssa and Josie had clearly stated that they hated the noise and mess of the Bates house. They were allowed to share a bedroom for.that reason. 

While it's not a big deal that (at least) a couple children out of 19 dislike the megafamily dynamics, I think it's healthy that they are able to say it loud and clear. I can't picture any of the Duggars saying something like that. Sometimes I suspect that Bates brainwashing was not as deep as Duggar's one and/or that JB&Michelle are even worse than we imagine.