Alyssa and John 4: SOTDRT Next Generation

[OldFadedStar]

11 hours ago, FaithAndReason said:

There's a lot to disagree with regarding the Bates, but I don't think this is one of them. I think she handled it well. And it's her decision as an adult daughter to respect the decision of her father/parents regarding the show and what they are asked to wear. 

There are things that my husband and I do with/for/around our parents that we don't do in our regular family life. It's out of respect that they are our parents. (They aren't fundie). Not everything has to be a fight against others. Wearing skirts/dresses is the least of the problems with their beliefs anyway. 

I wasn't disagreeing with what she was saying. I didn't even make the post because of the whole pants/skirt thing. 

 

I shared that because it's interesting how she said its her parents rule for her dads show. I feel that could give some insight to the financial situation due to the show. If it is Gils show then does that mean he is the one getting paid for it? He probably negotiated the contract after talking with JB about it. If the patriarch is technically the one with the contract then the patriarch has the ability to dole out the money as he sees fit. Is this why it seems that the Bates kids aren't living the high life like the Duggar kids seem to be? Why all of the husbands within the bates family tend to have more of a real job than the Duggars? Is JB able to dole it out better because he made some smart investments before? 

Just some things I was thinking about. I know the whole skirts/pants thing really means nothing... doesn't change how fundie they are. 

[nokidsmom]

12 hours ago, FaithAndReason said:

There's a lot to disagree with regarding the Bates, but I don't think this is one of them. I think she handled it well. And it's her decision as an adult daughter to respect the decision of her father/parents regarding the show and what they are asked to wear. 

I agree on how she handled it and it is her call as an adult daughter to respect her parents' / dad's wishes.  She can respect it or not, she chooses to respect it, she can make that choice.  It may be she knows when to pick her battles, and skirts/dresses on her parents' show are not one of them.

Alyssa made changes in her life immediately after she got married.   I don't think it reflects a big change in her beliefs (that may come in time if ever)  but the speed in which she did  made those changes, as superficial as they might be, it does show she was not going to carry over all aspects of parents lifestyle to her own.   Aside from her health issues, she seems pretty happy with her life and most of the time she can do her own thing with her own family, so following her parents' rules in their home and on the show is not compromising that much as opposed to her life before she got married when she had to follow the rules 24/7.

[FaithAndReason]

6 hours ago, OldFadedStar said:

I wasn't disagreeing with what she was saying. I didn't even make the post because of the whole pants/skirt thing. 

 

I shared that because it's interesting how she said its her parents rule for her dads show. I feel that could give some insight to the financial situation due to the show. If it is Gils show then does that mean he is the one getting paid for it? He probably negotiated the contract after talking with JB about it. If the patriarch is technically the one with the contract then the patriarch has the ability to dole out the money as he sees fit. Is this why it seems that the Bates kids aren't living the high life like the Duggar kids seem to be? Why all of the husbands within the bates family tend to have more of a real job than the Duggars? Is JB able to dole it out better because he made some smart investments before? 

Just some things I was thinking about. I know the whole skirts/pants thing really means nothing... doesn't change how fundie they are. 

I wasn't saying you disagreed with them. I apologize. I was just making a general statement, not about you. I wasn't very clear. 

 

[pippi]

I was sort of surprised and disappointed to see Alyssa doing an affiliate story on IG for Myro Deodorant. I've tried them on and off, because I like their reduced waste model. They posted a LOT of positive/supportive things during pride.

Spoiler

 

 (one of many examples)

Unless Alyssa's views have somehow gone in a direction I really didn't see coming (which would obviously be amazing but...I haven't seen any indication that's the case?) I'm wondering if either party is aware of the other's views. It doesn't seem to align with Myro's usual platforms at all. Maybe they just reached out to a bunch of people with lots of followers and didn't do their research.

7 minutes ago, pippi said:

I was sort of surprised and disappointed to see Alyssa doing an affiliate story on IG for Myro Deodorant. I've tried them on and off, because I like their reduced waste model. They posted a LOT of positive/supportive things during pride.

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 (one of many examples)

Unless Alyssa's views have somehow gone in a direction I really didn't see coming (which would obviously be amazing but...I haven't seen any indication that's the case?) I'm wondering if either party is aware of the other's views. It doesn't seem to align with Myro's usual platforms at all. Maybe they just reached out to a bunch of people with lots of followers and didn't do their research.

ETA: I'm sorry--it's been a long day and I thought I was posting this on the actual Alyssa/John thread. There's no way I can move it, is there?

Edited September 25, 2019 by pippi
Realized I was in the wrong thread

[just_ordinary]

I thought affiliate links are partner programs that are just open to sign up to? The brand doesn’t have to be aware who is setting up an affiliate link because they don’t approach the person directly. Obviously it depends from brand to brand but there are many that don’t double check.

I think there is actually a separate operating company most of the time, that manages the affiliate-programm/system. So they would be the ones who connect brand to the „influencer“ and they probably only check if the person wanting to sign up has enough followers.

[pippi]

15 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

I thought affiliate links are partner programs that are just open to sign up to? The brand doesn’t have to be aware who is setting up an affiliate link because they don’t approach the person directly. Obviously it depends from brand to brand but there are many that don’t double check.

I think there is actually a separate operating company most of the time, that manages the affiliate-programm/system. So they would be the ones who connect brand to the „influencer“ and they probably only check if the person wanting to sign up has enough followers.

Thanks and sorry, I should have been clearer--I have no idea if she is an official affiliate, or if they offered product for post, or what.

I'm realizing that I used the term to mean she was affiliating with them or vice-versa without thinking about the actual influencer/branding sense of the word. You're definitely right that plenty of companies let people sign up without checking, or use a third party. I know some, like Wholesome Culture, require an application, but even then, who knows how much they check? 

I just tried to search for Myro's affiliate program, and practically nothing came up, so perhaps they have third parties reaching out to "influencers" with high follower accounts. I think what I imagined was more that they sent a free box in exchange for the post, which I guess isn't really an affiliate-ship...more like product in exchange for publicity. Obviously I don't actually know, though!

I'm sure avenues like this are how "famous" fundies end up doing posts for a lot of companies I wouldn't necessarily except. This one was just especially surprising because I'd seen a significant amount of LGBTQ-positive content from Myro over the past year. 

Also thank you to whatever moderator moved my post to the right place!!

[SassyPants]

Today, on IG, Alyssa clarified that she is currently homeschooling Allie, and gave a tour of her classroom, desk, supplies and curriculum. She also showed Allie ardently working on her cursive. Is cursive a priority for a 4 yo? Does Allie know how to dress herself, wipe her own butt, tie her shoe, identify her parents’ names and phone numbers? Can she function in a group and follow the instructions of another adult other than mommy? Ladies with limited education( this woman has shown not to know some pretty basic concepts) have no business “educating” anyone.

[Exposedknees]

31 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Ladies with limited education( this woman has shown not to know some pretty basic concepts) have no business “educating” anyone.

Clearly neither Jill or Alyssa use age appropriate learning materials.?It makes me wonder if they're overcompensating for appearance sake. At some point they must have realized that their own SOTDRT experience was lacking. " Look at how advanced my version of homeschooling is?"

[Screamapillar]

2 hours ago, Exposedknees said:

It makes me wonder if they're overcompensating for appearance sake. At some point they must have realized that their own SOTDRT experience was lacking. " Look at how advanced my version of homeschooling is?"

I thought the same thing a while back when Jessa shared a video teaching just turned two year old Henry sight words at the same time she was sharing videos of three and a half year old Spurgeon clearly extremely confused about the concept of potty training. 

[Melissa1977]

7 hours ago, SassyPants said:

. Is cursive a priority for a 4 yo? Does Allie know how to dress herself, wipe her own butt, tie her shoe, identify her parents’ names and phone numbers? Can she function in a group and follow the instructions of another adult other than mommy? Ladies with limited education( this woman has shown not to know some pretty basic concepts) have no business “educating” anyone.

While I'm very critical with fundies homeschooling, I would be surprised if  Allie couldn't do almost all this things. She has 2 little sisters very close in age, and that makes kids learn early, no matter they are fundie or not. Also she goes to a sunday school, where there are other kids and adults in charge.

I find 4 years old a bit young for cursive, but for a long time, it was the typical age to start. My father started cursive at 4 at writing with ink (ink!) at 6. It may sound weird today, but he wasn't the only one capable to do it. Schools changed it because many kids weren't ready at 4. But we really don't know if Allie is naturally attracted to the lettering thing and likes to do it.

Who worry me is not Allie, but Zoey and next baby(ies). Even if Alyssa keeps her family relatively small, homeschooling-speaking none of the other kids will be as special as the firstborn. Alyssa has never liked studying and I doubt she can keep interested doing the same schooling every year. 

 

6 hours ago, Exposedknees said:

Clearly neither Jill or Alyssa use age appropriate learning materials.?It makes me wonder if they're overcompensating for appearance sake. At some point they must have realized that their own SOTDRT experience was lacking. " Look at how advanced my version of homeschooling is?"

Duggars used the same cursive sheets. Mackenzie started early, too. It's not Jill or Alyssa doing anything new, just copying their mothers.

[theotherelise]

Cursive is one of the weird fringe-y things that people get really angry about in the public school system. Teachers are saying the kids need more time on reading and talk about cutting cursive and this whole group of people rises up in anger. It makes sense to me that the fundie homeschool movements would prioritize it.

My siblings and I were homeschooled for a couple years and attended homeschool enrichment classes at a Christian facility. I'm pretty sure my sister took calligraphy in 3rd grade. We went to a christian school for the rest of our primary grades. 

I have no idea how Alyssa is going to homeschool effectively when she has a long demonstrated history of disliking learning. Jill Dillard (where this convo is also happening) at least seems to like taking extra courses and values education in her own way. 

[SassyPants]

Don’t get me wrong. I think everyone should learn cursive at a developmentally appropriate stage. I’m not sure cursive is a priority over other more basic skills, for a 4 YO. Really what this screams to me is busy, artsy  work to keep Allie occupied devoid of needing her mother’s help or actual teaching to take place.

Edited September 27, 2019 by SassyPants

[rebeccawriter01]

2 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Don’t get me wrong. I think everyone should learn how cursive at a developmentally appropriate stage. I’m not sure cursive is a priority over other more basic skills, for a 4 YO. Really what this screams to me is busy, artsy  work to keep Allie occupied devoid of needing her mother’s help or actual teaching to take place.

Or it could be that she has seen it with mom, grandma, etc. and wanted to write that way. My mom taught me to spell, read, and print before I even got into preschool full time. I was always after her about loopy writing that she and my far away great grandmother did. I think that I thought it was a secret language. My mother gave me stencils that would let me make the "loopy" letters and I was happy. I told everyone I knew how to write that way. 

[formergothardite]

5 hours ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

Or it could be that she has seen it with mom, grandma, etc. and wanted to write that way.

While she could have watched relatives and wanted to learn, Alyssa is using Abeka preschool videos, so Allie probably doesn't have a choice. For preschool Allie sits and watches videos and then does worksheets and maybe games/songs. Abeka starts cursive in preschool.  

Alyssa having videos of someone else teaching her kids is probably for the best. The only issue is if a child can't keep up with the videos or needs more hands on instructions, then they will be left with Alyssa attempting to teach them. 

Edited September 28, 2019 by formergothardite

[nausicaa]

8 hours ago, theotherelise said:

I have no idea how Alyssa is going to homeschool effectively when she has a long demonstrated history of disliking learning. Jill Dillard (where this convo is also happening) at least seems to like taking extra courses and values education in her own way. 

Yeah, I don't understand how Alyssa is going to instill a love of learning when she doesn't seem to have one herself. 

Also, I just looked into A Beka videos for the first time. Is anyone else surprised that the videos are basically a video of a teacher teaching a classroom full of kids? A Beka also seems to push how great the "classroom experience" of the videos is. Seems strange that a program for homeschoolers, many of whom are doing it for moral reasons and an opposition to a school experience for young children, would push this. 

[Lgirlrocks]

I have known people who hated school and chose to homeschool. I never understood it. To homeschool properly takes a lot of time and energy. I have also known families where both parents worked full time and they still home schooled. Even with older kids they need accountability and someone to make sure they are not only kept on track but also understanding what they are being taught. 

I hope Alyssa isn’t just homeschooling because she thinks/feels like she has to. I am pretty anti homeschool because of my experience with it. I know if I ever have kids I wouldn’t do it unless I had to and even then I would get tutors or find a good online school. 

[formergothardite]

9 hours ago, nausicaa said:

Is anyone else surprised that the videos are basically a video of a teacher teaching a classroom full of kids?

I am wondering how much a preschooler or young elementary child could really get out of sitting and watching a class instead of interacting with a class. When a teacher is teaching she can see if a child has tuned her out or doesn't really understand and adapt to help that child. The videos of classes can't do that. Maybe Alyssa is sitting there watching the videos with Allie and then watching her to see if she understands, but I would be surprised. And as her kids get older, how could she do that with all her children? At some point kids are going to be plopped in front of a screen to watch a class with the hope they can keep up and don't have questions for the teacher. 

Time for Learning or some of the other online homeschool programs where if a child misses a problem the program immediately catches it and gives them additional help seems like a better idea than Abeka. 

[Curious]

On 8/21/2019 at 7:39 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

I think she must be a fundie friend. Not a fundie humper. Or at least I hope she’s not just a humper. 

Kate Gosselin got loads of stuff sent by fans.  She was an ungrateful bitch about most of it, but she didn't turn any of it down.  Resold it, threw it directly in the trash?  sure, but tell people to stop sending stuff...not a chance.

She did have one woman that periodically sent them matching shirts for the kids with numbers (birth order I think) on them and they did use those on the show a few times and she gave a shout out to the person as someone that gifted them with the matching shirts when they did use them.

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 minutes ago, Curious said:

Kate Gosselin got loads of stuff sent by fans.  She was an ungrateful bitch about most of it, but she didn't turn any of it down.  Resold it, threw it directly in the trash?  sure, but tell people to stop sending stuff...not a chance.

She did have one woman that periodically sent them matching shirts for the kids with numbers (birth order I think) on them and they did use those on the show a few times and she gave a shout out to the person as someone that gifted them with the matching shirts when they did use them.

 

I’m so glad John’s able to talk about things more now that the gag order is up. Of course I feel sorry for the kids. It’s hard because I hate to see the kids hurt by it but I also hate to see people being completely duped by Kate and her perfect mom act. She’s horrible. People need to know how horrible she is. That way she might be less likely to get another show. 

[Curious]

16 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’m so glad John’s able to talk about things more now that the gag order is up. Of course I feel sorry for the kids. It’s hard because I hate to see the kids hurt by it but I also hate to see people being completely duped by Kate and her perfect mom act. She’s horrible. People need to know how horrible she is. That way she might be less likely to get another show. 

I saw a brief clip somewhere about the gag order on Jon being off finally and that he fought for custody of Colin, I think it was.   I haven't had a chance to search for any news on it yet though.

I have always been Team Jon.  He was not a perfect parent, but on his worst day I believe he was far better than Kate on her best day.  He got a raw deal and was run over by Kate and the production studio.   He didn't do himself a lot of favors for part of that time, but he also had problems getting jobs because Kate would sabatoge him routinely.

I hope he's able to develop a relationship with all the kids at some point.  The twins must be getting close to 18 by now.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

2 hours ago, Curious said:

I haven't had a chance to search for any news on it yet though.

There's some good info starting here:

If you don't want to go to the article in The Daily Fail that's linked in there, scroll down a few posts, and @Flossie quotes it for us. (Thanks, @Flossie!)

[JermajestyDuggar]

5 hours ago, Curious said:

I saw a brief clip somewhere about the gag order on Jon being off finally and that he fought for custody of Colin, I think it was.   I haven't had a chance to search for any news on it yet though.

I have always been Team Jon.  He was not a perfect parent, but on his worst day I believe he was far better than Kate on her best day.  He got a raw deal and was run over by Kate and the production studio.   He didn't do himself a lot of favors for part of that time, but he also had problems getting jobs because Kate would sabatoge him routinely.

I hope he's able to develop a relationship with all the kids at some point.  The twins must be getting close to 18 by now.

Yeah, the twins went off to college so Kate only has 4 left at home. Mady is such a mini Kate that I doubt she will reach out to Jon anytime soon. But I’m hoping Kara will once she gets some distance from Kate due to being at college. 

I want to add that one very good thing about Jon is that he won’t hold grudges against his kids like Kate would. He would put all the past behind him and welcome his kids with open arms. But I think that’s what will hold the twins back. Kara will fear her mother’s wrath if she reached out to Jon. She might actually have to do it in secret. 

Edited September 29, 2019 by JermajestyDuggar

[mollysmom]

On 9/19/2019 at 9:31 AM, rebeccawriter01 said:

including things like the table test where they raise you up and down quickly to see when you pass out. Fun and expensive times!

Wait! What??? That sounds terrifying! (This coming from the girl that went to the chiropractor for the first time in my life a few days ago & started crying when I walked into the room & saw the table they use. It looked like a table of torture!! So, yeah...I'm admittedly a huge baby when it comes to any medical procedures lol) 

[FaithAndReason]

I thought homeschooling was supposed to be this warm and fuzzy family experience where mothers were educating their children to not only teach them but build these unbreakable family bonds with faith and education? Unlike the rest of us heathens who have no family closeness and no proper religion and ruined families? Why in the world would a mother need or use videos  for this wholesome family superiority? Aren’t videos and TV of the devil? (Sarcasm...I’m not actually needing answers)

[Lgirlrocks]

5 hours ago, FaithAndReason said:

I thought homeschooling was supposed to be this warm and fuzzy family experience where mothers were educating their children to not only teach them but build these unbreakable family bonds with faith and education? Unlike the rest of us heathens who have no family closeness and no proper religion and ruined families? Why in the world would a mother need or use videos  for this wholesome family superiority? Aren’t videos and TV of the devil? (Sarcasm...I’m not actually needing answers)

As my mother put it “homeschooling is hard.” It is hard to teach multiple children at different levels, age and grade. Alyssa’s other daughters aren’t in school yet so they need way more attention. I wish, when I was homeschooled, that my mom had done videos or online school. I hated being at home all day but at least I would have learned more. I would get so bored, my two subject usually took about an hour a day, that I would make up classes and take a recess and lunch.