Alyssa and John 4: SOTDRT Next Generation

[GreyhoundFan]

Continued from here:

 

 

Alyssa is experiencing continuing heart issues. She's also home schooling Allie Jane. Oh, and she's announced that, due to a friend having a boy, she wants a boy. No big surprise.

Edited July 28, 2019 by GreyhoundFan

[mysweetetc]

I agree with @nausicaa from late in the last thread.

Any time I see a large family with kids of only one sex, I feel badly for the younger kids. I'm sure it's true that there are folks out there who want a big family (4+ kids) no matter what the spread, but I can't help feeling like the younger ones of, say, 4-5 girls were just "spares." It's judgy, but it comes to mind unwilled.

Anecdotally, I have a friend with three girls who keeps getting asked when she's try for "her boy." Yikes.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I’m a second girl and I think it’s probably likely my dad wanted me to be a boy. He denies it like hell. But I think it might be an example of him protesting a little too much  Anyway, he never made me feel shitty about it. Like I said, he denied it so much he acted all offended when someone would even mention the possibility he hoped for a boy.

[mstee]

I knew a girl in school who had 13 sisters. No brothers. I asked her once if her parents ever had talked about wanting a boy and she said that they’d never made any mention of it. I thought that was really nice to hear. 

Edited July 29, 2019 by mstee

[Carm_88]

One of my friends is the youngest of three. She has two older brothers, and her parents really wanted a girl. When her Mom was pregnant with her, the youngest boy would pray "We want a healthy baby, we don't care if it's a boy or a girl. But we want a girl!" 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

I think I've said this before on FJ. My sister has 5 kids; 4 girls and 1 boy. (Well, they're all over 18 now. So, 4 women and 1 man?  ) She gets annoyed when people hear that and assume they kept having kids until they "finally got a boy". Her son is kid #2. They just wanted 5 kids. 

Knowing the babies' sex before birth did help my nephew manage his expectations when his mom was pregnant with his younger sisters. He wished for a brother each time, but having a few months before the baby was born to get used to the idea that he was getting another sister helped a little. 

[JordynDarby5]

58 minutes ago, mstee said:

I knew a girl in school who had 13 sisters. No brothers. I asked her once if her parents ever had talked about wanting a boy and she said that they’d never made any mention of it. I thought that was really nice to hear. 

When I do hear and see families with four or more of one sex its kind of impressive. The odds of four, five, six or thirteen all girls or boys?

53 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

One of my friends is the youngest of three. She has two older brothers, and her parents really wanted a girl. When her Mom was pregnant with her, the youngest boy would pray "We want a healthy baby, we don't care if it's a boy or a girl. But we want a girl!" 

My cousin and his wife hated that question they had two girls and so many people kept assuming they were trying for a boy. No they wanted three kids but so many people didn't believe them no matter how much they insisted. 

Edited July 29, 2019 by JordynDarby5

[CarrotCake]

I'm the second girl (and no younger siblings).

I know my parents actually wanted a boy but really did not care as soon as I was born. I don't think it is a shame to prefer one gender as long as you love your child as much if they are the other gender.

And gender does not say anything. My dad was just glad he had a kid to build treehouses with ?

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

20 minutes ago, CarrotCake said:

And gender does not say anything. My dad was just glad he had a kid to build treehouses with ?

I think that's partly because sex and gender are not the same thing. You can usually tell a baby's sex before they're born, and almost always after they're born. (Since intersex people are only about 1-2% of the population, as far as I know.) But you may not know a person's gender for at least a few years. I think at the least, you need the child to be able to talk, to tell you who they are. For a majority of kids that will probably match their sex. But not always.

Plus, even we cis gender people don't all have to follow strict, proscribed gender roles. (Outside of fundiedom.) We can choose what we like even if it isn't traditionally a "boy thing" or a "girl thing". In other words, I'm glad you had fun building treehouses with your dad, @CarrotCake!

Edited July 29, 2019 by WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?
Forgot to include bit about cis gender people liking a variety of things.

[OyToTheVey]

12 hours ago, mstee said:

I knew a girl in school who had 13 sisters. No brothers. I asked her once if her parents ever had talked about wanting a boy and she said that they’d never made any mention of it. I thought that was really nice to hear. 

The Arnetds(sp?) have 13 boys. I'd pay good money to see 13 sisters try to hit that.

[rightmind01]

I have three daughters and badly wanted a son but I wouldn't trade my girls for anything.  I get quite annoyed when people ask if we're going to keep trying...it's like they're saying my girls aren't "enough" and...how many kids do people think I need?!  Besides, the fact that I have three daughters proves that God has a sense of humor, I was born between two brothers and was a complete tomboy growing up...as an adult, I still prefer pants to dresses and blue to pink any day,  I don't know what to do with three girls most of the time ?

My "son" is my four legged fur child.  He's a mess.

Edited July 29, 2019 by rightmind01

[nokidsmom]

My folks had 3 girls.  They didn't care that we were all girls (vs. boys) though both parents, my Dad especially, would be asked how he felt about not having any sons.   His response was he only wanted for their kids to be born healthy and they were.  Case closed.  

[VelociRapture]

My parents were under the impression they had three daughters for about 25 years. Then my brother came out as Transgender. And now they have two daughters and one son. So what you think you have isn’t always what you end up with, but it can still be pretty awesome regardless. I wouldn’t trade my little brother for anything.  

[HermioneSparrow]

I find hilarious that my parents wanted nothing but daughters because girls are "pretty, well-behaved princesses" and boys are "rambunctious little terrors", I solidified their "theory" but then they got my little sister who was Dennis the menace RELOADED ?

[OyToTheVey]

My best friend is the girliest girl ever. Won't leave the house without make up on, always does her hair. She practically shits glitter. Ended up being a complete boy mom. 2 boys 22 months apart. She's now the karate going, wake up to ninja turtles masks, sword fighting mom. She's gotten really good at dodging train tracks too. Her boys just naturally gravitate towards all the stereotypical male things. She does it all with make up on and glitter lol

[JermajestyDuggar]

Alyssa’s Instagram story is a tour of there closets. Spoiler alert: she has a lot of fucking shoes and clothing. 

[LawsonBatesEgo]

I know someone who needed IVF to conceive and for a few reasons, they travelled to the US to have it done. They had a preference for a daughter because they loved the idea of a little princess to dress up in pink and take to ballet and all that stereotypical stuff so chose female embryos be implanted when told they had healthy male and female embryos. Of the three embryos implanted, one stuck.

And I have to laugh because their daughter will be 5 in a couple of weeks time and the biggest ballet/pink/princess hating tomboy I've ever seen. 

[crancraz]

I’ve had five pregnancies make it far enough along to find out the sex and we’ve had four girls and a boy. I have three daughters. People are constantly asking if we want to keep going until we get a boy (and one of my daughters is only four weeks old!). I’m horrified that people vocalize that and in front of my girls. And no. I don’t want a boy. And if I had all boys, I wouldn’t be desperate for a girl. At this point? I’m just happy for a living baby. 

[VelociRapture]

I have a daughter and am currently expecting a son. Husband and I decided very early in this pregnancy - way before learning the sex - that we were done having kids after this pregnancy, regardless of the baby’s sex. There are many reasons for that, but the biggest being the impact on the environment, my personality, wanting to provide a certain life for our kids, and the fact that this pregnancy hasn’t been easy for me. 

When my daughter was around a year old, I had a medical professional ask if my husband had wanted a boy. I wasn’t expecting to be asked that, but politely answered that my husband was simply thrilled to have a healthy child - which given her premature birth and a previous miscarriage is the truth. When we told our families we were having a boy this time both our dads excitedly mentioned having someone to carry on the family name. Both times I politely, but firmly stated that my daughter was doing that already. I also had my mom mention she was glad I was going to have one of each. I responded by telling her that given my pregnancy history we were just happy to have the chance of having two healthy children. 

I can understand when a parent or couple is hoping for a certain sex (so long as they eventually accept and love whoever they end up with), but I don’t understand why anyone else would have an opinion about it, let alone vocalize it.

[Deleorean88mph]

14 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Alyssa’s Instagram story is a tour of there closets. Spoiler alert: she has a lot of fucking shoes and clothing. 

To each their own, but I'm wondering why she needs so many shoes. They're dress shoes, so not the kind of shoes she would wear while running arpund with 3 small children on a regular basis. I guess she likes to have matching shoes for each outfit.

These are Zoey's shoes, who will outgrow them in a few months. However, I understand these may be hand me downs from her sisters.

[JermajestyDuggar]

24 minutes ago, Deleorean88mph said:

To each their own, but I'm wondering why she needs so many shoes. They're dress shoes, so not the kind of shoes she would wear while running arpund with 3 small children on a regular basis. I guess she likes to have matching shoes for each outfit.

These are Zoey's shoes, who will outgrow them in a few months. However, I understand these may be hand me downs from her sisters.

Part of me sees it as a waste of money because some of these things will barely ever get worn. Then another part of me says this is so not Gothard fundie. And it makes me glad she isn’t acting like all the other Gothard fundie moms out there. 

[nokidsmom]

10 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Part of me sees it as a waste of money because some of these things will barely ever get worn. Then another part of me says this is so not Gothard fundie. And it makes me glad she isn’t acting like all the other Gothard fundie moms out there.

I noticed one pair in her collection that looked like the bright pink shoes she wore at her wedding.  So it seems the collection may have been acquired over several years, plus she was shown wearing heels before her marriage so some pairs may from that time.   If she is wearing a pair just for church, photos or dress occasions, they would last a long time and still look new while being several years old. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 minutes ago, nokidsmom said:

I noticed one pair in her collection that looked like the bright pink shoes she wore at her wedding.  So it seems the collection may have been acquired over several years, plus she was shown wearing heels before her marriage so some pairs may from that time.   If she is wearing a pair just for church, photos or dress occasions, they would last a long time and still look new while being several years old. 

I was mostly talking about the kid shoes since they grow out of them so quickly. Although I know from experience that most women have shoes in their closet they rarely wear. We are a culture of excess. But part of me is ok with Alyssa treating herself to these things. Because Gothard always taught mothers to sacrifice themselves for their husbands, children, and god.

[nausicaa]

Still need someone to explain to me how they afford all of this. 

(No digs from me on Alyssa liking clothes and shoes. Especially since I'm currently spending an ungodly amount on my best friend's basic bitch pre-wedding festivities. But I also am older than them, have a good job with full benefits, don't have to tithe to a church, have no children or dependents, and saved like a miser through my early to mid twenties.)

[Screamapillar]

Also, from someone who gets a lot of enjoyment out of shopping for clothes for both myself and for my small children: I wonder how she shops for their matching outfits.

She loves her matchy-matchy Sunday dress pictures. The girls are all in the same dress, almost always. Is she ordering three dresses in different sizes, so that her three daughters can wear the matching outfits this year, and this year alone? Or is she planning ahead and ordering like, eight dresses in different sizes, so that her three daughters and any additional daughters she may add to her brood can wear them for the next decade?

Lexi could wear Allie's dress next year and Zoey could wear Lexi's, but then what would Allie wear? And would it drive Alyssa crazy if Allie didn't wear the exact same dress as her sisters on a random Sunday morning? I honestly think that it might.