Dillards 69 : Write Your Own Joke Here

[Baxter]

My grandma has a recipe for tuna casserole that my mom made when we were kids. It uses tuna, rice (instead of noodles), cream of mushroom soup, onion powder, water and celery. I make it from time to time although I have gone rogue and started adding garlic powder too, lol. I wouldn't say it looks all that appetizing. But it's delicious comfort food especially in winter. That and shake and bake chicken are my go to comfort foods.

 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

12 hours ago, Bad Wolf said:

Soft boiled eggs

My mom made perfect soft boiled eggs...I've tried and never mastered it.  I crave them sometimes but haven't had a good one since she died.

[justmissedquiver]

this is similar to @BachelorToTheRapture 's cheesy hashbrown recipe, but this is how my mom did it.  She was so gosh dang proud of it.  It was brought to every church pot luck and served at least once a week on our table.  So yeah, I ate this three times a week.

Melt one pkg of velveeta cheese in heavy pan, add 2 cups of miracle whip (effing gag me)

Add 1 pkg  diced frozen potatoes and 1 pkg diced ham (the cheep vacuum pkged kind) to cheese and mix well

Bake @350, uncovered for 35-40 minutes until bubbly and golden brown.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

2 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

He probably flirted with someone he didn't realize was trans and has been in rage mode ever since. 

Or perhaps he's pissy that he locked himself into a constrained role in life because he felt he was "supposed to" and is angry that other people are brave enough to much, much harder choices in defying social convention so they can be true to themselves and happy?

Idk, don't know the guy, but seems pretty riled up about something that doesn't affect him.

You guys are cracking me up and making my heart grow two sizes as we totally compete on the Duggar level of recipes.  And I'm sad to say there are some, as horrific as they are, that sound fabulous and I'm going to try.

[HarleyQuinn]

28 minutes ago, karen77 said:

I can't click on the link!! (work issues) what is the story?

Some loon wants to legally change his age so that he can pick up younger women and dWRECK thinks that's the same as being trans because of course he does. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

52 minutes ago, AlwaysExcited said:

Jesus, Derick, just find a hobby that doesn't involve someone's genitals. 

You're asking a lot from someone who married a Duggar.

[VelociRapture]

57 minutes ago, AlwaysExcited said:

Jesus, Derick, just find a hobby that doesn't involve someone's genitals. 

The Transgender community to Derick:

[BachelorToTheRapture]

16 minutes ago, justmissedquiver said:

this is similar to @BachelorToTheRapture 's cheesy hashbrown recipe, but this is how my mom did it.  She was so gosh dang proud of it.  It was brought to every church pot luck and served at least once a week on our table.  So yeah, I ate this three times a week.

Melt one pkg of velveeta cheese in heavy pan, add 2 cups of miracle whip (effing gag me)

Add 1 pkg  diced frozen potatoes and 1 pkg diced ham (the cheep vacuum pkged kind) to cheese and mix well

Bake @350, uncovered for 35-40 minutes until bubbly and golden brown.

That just sounds like disappointment to me. I always expect the comfort of the holiday food I'm used to, and no one else's potato recipe is good enough ?

[HarleyQuinn]

He's kind of like Jonah Hill's character in Superbad when he was young and all he draws are dicks. Only instead of drawing them, he's thinking about all the dicks that are being changed. 

[treehugger]

I never join in the food convos because I am a bit of a food snob.  Mr treehugger and I only go out for a date night once every three months or so, but we budget date night every month and plan on spending the equivalent of three months of date dinners on that one dinner. I love fancy dishes and fancy cooking, and I get my groceries delivered from the local rooftop greenhouse (yes, that is just as hipster as it sounds). But.... I make KD (from the box with powdered cheese) and hot dogs at least once a week, because my children simply do not appreciate my cooking, and I would like them to eat occaionallly.  Also, while I grew up in Guatemala and spent all of my childhood there, I cannot cook frijoles properly to save my life, so canned it is.  And they are damn delicious! 

[LilMissMetaphor]

I like both fake and real whipped cream, my issue begins when people start calling it "whip cream" which they do around here.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

43 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

Some loon wants to legally change his age so that he can pick up younger women

Because that's how attraction works.  I know I go into a sexual frenzy for men based solely on the year on their drivers license.  Nothing else matters....I see 4 numbers in the right order and I just climb right on.

Just now, LilMissMetaphor said:

I like both fake and real whipped cream, my issue begins when people start calling it "whip cream" which they do around here.

I do that.  I write it properly but I say whip.  But I talk rather fast so I'd deny it if called on it.   

[justmissedquiver]

35 minutes ago, BachelorToTheRapture said:

That just sounds like disappointment to me. I always expect the comfort of the holiday food I'm used to, and no one else's potato recipe is good enough ?

It's awful you're not missing anything.

[Mama Mia]

4 hours ago, LilMissMetaphor said:

This is like the start of an Emily Dickinson poem.

Oh, oh, oh! I just came across this Emily Dickinson thing yesterday 

 

Duggar Worthy Foods:

Dinners : at least half the stuff I made for my kids while they were growing up qualify. But with more organic versions. And healthier lunches. And if it takes more than one pan or costs more than a dollar a person - not happening.  

Here’s a dump a bunch of cans / jars favorite - and again PSA - you can get organic / natural / low sodium canned versions of everything. 

White Chili  : Shred some leftover cooked chicken into a slow cooker. Dump cans of garbanzo beans, pinto or chili beans, corn and a bottle of salsa in. For this one I like a mango salsa. Add some spices and/or Tapatio. Cook for a few hours. Add a bunch of shredded cheese and stir to melt. Serve with sour cream and avocado if people like it. Sometimes I start with soyrizo ( a surprisingly good version of chorizo! ) 

My favorites from my childhood:

 One has a can , the other is just super cheap and easy. 

Mom’s Super Fancy Company Dinner: 

Step 1: Fry Fillet of Sole In gobs of butter, salt and pepper, only takes a couple minutes, it cooks really fast. Step 2: Heat up Campbell’s Cream of Shrimp Soup diluted with a little cream or half and half.  Step 3- Put sole on a plate. Pour a little sauce over it.  Serve with heated up French string beans that you fancy up with slivered almonds, and French bread with butter.  Probably a salad. Cooking was not my mom’s thing. But this was damn good. 

Lunch for when you’re out of food:

Peanut Butter quesadilla.  

Heat butter in a pan. Spread a flour tortilla with butter and peanut butter. Fold in half. Cook it. Flip it to get it crisp on both sides. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Kailash]

I had never heard of cream of shrimp soup before this thread. That said- there hasn’t been anything posted that I wouldn’t at least try once. Some of it sounds pretty yummy. 

[AtlanticTug]

1 hour ago, HarleyQuinn said:

Some loon wants to legally change his age so that he can pick up younger women and dWRECK thinks that's the same as being trans because of course he does. 

Hasn't anyone told him that everybody on Tinder, etc lies without having to go through all this trouble?

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 minute ago, Kailash said:

I had never heard of cream of shrimp soup before this thread. That said- there hasn’t been anything posted that I wouldn’t at least try once. Some of it sounds pretty yummy. 

I hadn't either - how is cream of shrimp soup not a thing I know about?

I have two severe food aversions (to phobic levels - I have vomited from seeing pics of them on end caps in the grocery store and food network) that come up in discussions like this (so brave of me to read and kind of not kidding lol) but I'd try almost everything that doesn't contain either.

I am handy in the kitchen - I can make excellent chocolate eclairs with everything from the pate choux, creme de pattiserie, and ganache from scratch.  But right now I really want something made with jello, cottage cheese, and cool whip (I hate eclairs.)

 

[Kailash]

@HerNameIsBuffy I sort of want to know your food aversions but also really don’t. I feel like I would have them on the brain and accidentally mention them. (Like if someone tells you they have a bad sunburn on their back, and you forget and hug them or something. )

I sincerely hope you don’t encounter them often. 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

9 minutes ago, Kailash said:

@HerNameIsBuffy I sort of want to know your food aversions but also really don’t. I feel like I would have them on the brain and accidentally mention them. (Like if someone tells you they have a bad sunburn on their back, and you forget and hug them or something. )

I sincerely hope you don’t encounter them often. 

Unfortunately they are two of the most common and ubiquitous foods.  I know this is crazy and is purely my own psychological problem but I can't type them without gagging and the conversations of the totally understandable questions of "why?  That's so weird" makes me picture them and I have to kill the conversation to not get physically sick.

For example at an old job they changed where they ordered Chineese food and I walked in the kitchen and saw the new place added one of those vegetables to the fried rice.  I left the kitchen immediately, but I couldn't even go in for coffee or my water I had stored in the fridge because I knew the left overs with those things in it were in the fridge.

But I'm much better now.  Back when I was a young adult and newly married I accidentally bought stir fry not realizing one of those vegetables was in there and I had throw out everything in the freezer because they have been in there.   

It's extreme and purely psychological.  My entire family finds it bizarre and would love to know "WHY???"  It stared when I was a toddler and has remained as extreme until now.  

I have gotten much better at dealing with it though.  There was a time I wouldn't be able to read a thread where they are mentioned, but now I scan and if included I move on from the post - but still upvote because love the contribution.  I can read the words now without throwing up, if limited ... although I did have to stop drinking coffee while reading because gag reflex.

And now if I accidentally buy something containing them (rare, but it can happen) I don't have to throw out everything in the fridge or freezer ... i can just throw the offending food out, but the garbage needs to be taken out immediately and not just to the can, but the can on the far side of the house and I get tremendous relief after garbage day when I know it's really gone.

It's one of the unknowable questions I'd love to know the answers to...WHY?? 

 

[PreciousPantsofDoom]

3 minutes ago, Kailash said:

I had never heard of cream of shrimp soup before this thread. That said- there hasn’t been anything posted that I wouldn’t at least try once. Some of it sounds pretty yummy. 

I had never heard of it until I married Mr PPOD. Campbell's makes it, and there used to be a grocery in town that imported it from the USA, but no longer does, so we have to get ours across the border in Washington state.

  We actually used our last can two weeks ago and now have a bit of a dilemma.  There are a number of grocery items that we buy on the regular from stores in Washington State.  I'm pretty much out of everything now and trying to decide if that is enough to justify a trip down to stock up.  We have been on a soft boycott of travelling to the USA ever since the news of Trump separating migrant children from their parents broke. There are so many things abut the entire political situation that I don't like, but that was the final straw. 

Anyway its a soft boycott in that we decided not to take any long vacations to the US,where we would be spending thousands on accommodation etc., but that we were not going to cut off our noses to spite our faces. Spending an afternoon driving to the USA for lunch and groceries benefits the local economy in Bellingham more than it helps raise the economic numbers for Trump. And Bellingham is pretty Democrat for a rural area.   And yet. ..now that I am contemplating a run for the border, I'm feeling conflicted about it. 

 

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

There’s a joke here but 

It’s eluding me right now.  Anyway, this is Jeremy!!  I wonder if Derick has seen this yet.

Spoiler

This was posted way back when Jeremy was first introduced.   

[HerNameIsBuffy]

5 minutes ago, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

There’s a joke here but 

It’s eluding me right now.  Anyway, this is Jeremy!!  I wonder if Derick has seen this yet.

  Hide contents

This was posted way back when Jeremy was first introduced.   

His fashion sense sucks as hard as his politics.  That's not how you wear a headpiece.

[karen77]

1 hour ago, HarleyQuinn said:

Some loon wants to legally change his age so that he can pick up younger women and dWRECK thinks that's the same as being trans because of course he does. 

OMG, wtf.

[elliha]

8 hours ago, Iamtheway said:

I don’t think I have ever heard of a food in Sweden made with canned soup. Except soup. 

So there is no can involved, but this is the ”recipe” for the lunch I ate while reading this thread. 

1. Putt the kettle on.

2. Get frozen peas, bell peppers and corn mix from the freezer and pour a decent amount into a bowl.

3. Get instant potato mash powder and measure enough for one portion.

4. Get salt, dill, garlic powder, pepper and butter.

5. Once the water is boiling pour it over the vegtables to unfreeze them.

6. Mix the potato mash powder with the spices, water and butter in a second bowl.

7. Drain vegtables and put them in the mash.

8. Optional: Sprinkle with dried onion.

There you go, 3 minute meal. I eat this a lot when I work from home since it only involves some hot water and stirring. I actually think it tastes pretty nice. 

Mom would occasionally make a fish pie with a block of cod, Campbell's mushroom soup and instant mashed potatoes. It was not a favorite of anyone really in the family but her. There might have been tomatoes on top too and canned white asparagus. So, there is at least one Swedish recipe with this. There seems to be one online as well: https://www.hemtrevligt.se/hemmetsjournal/recept/fiskgratang-med-champinjoner-5000/

[justmissedquiver]

27 minutes ago, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

There’s a joke here but 

It’s eluding me right now.  Anyway, this is Jeremy!!  I wonder if Derick has seen this yet.

  Hide contents

This was posted way back when Jeremy was first introduced.   

Derick would not know whether to be disgusted or jealous.