Dillards 69 : Write Your Own Joke Here

[HerNameIsBuffy]

2 minutes ago, Maggie Mae said:

I know I'm well past the "cool whip" discussion, it's absolutely the worst product imaginable. I HATE it with a passion, and part of it is that my father LOVED it and refused to ever let us have real whip cream. He's part of the reason that I'm passionate about plating food and you will never be served buffet style in my house if I'm serving a full dinner.  Whipped cream looks nice when served. Cool whip looks like hot garbage because it has to be spooned out of a plastic non-recyclable container and it sticks to the spoon and doesn't dollop nicely. 

He also enjoyed the worst desert known to mankind, which he refused to call anything but "green "stuff"". I know it has a real name, and it's just instant pistachio pudding and cool whip. It's the laziest, most midwestern thing you can imagine. People get super fancy with it and will add "mini marshmallows" ... it's not good. Also canned fruits can be mixed in. I just can't. GAG.

I don't even hate pistachio pudding, I just don't get why people need to mix it with cool whip and random things from their kitchen and call it a salad. Just serve the pudding and call it a desert! 

the version with marshmallows, pineapple, and pecans in addition to pudding and cool whip is called a Watergate Salad.

[sleepy_doggos]

the version with marshmallows, pineapple, and pecans in addition to pudding and cool whip is called a Watergate Salad.

That's another favorite version of the trash recipe from my childhood. Loved it too.

[bella8050]

12 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

In case anyone forgot (How could you) Wreck is still a douche.

 

Sooo guessing this guy isn't rich because if he was he wouldn't have age related dating issues. He'd probably be a proud sugar daddy if he could. Linking it to changing ones sex is beyond ridiculous.

ETA: I wonder if JB makes those marrying into the family sign a NDA, for anything not shareable with the TLC audience.

[QuiverFullofBooks]

@BachelorToTheRapture and @justmissedquiver - that’s Jana’s favorite meal! This is from their first book.

[MsSaylor]

We call them “funeral potatoes” or “company potatoes” and the are amazing. I only like them really hot though. They have a bad mouth feel when they cool off too much. My grandma loads me up with leftovers and i microwave the shit out of a huge plate of them as soon as I get home from whatever lovely midwestern family gathering just attended.

[zee_four]

22 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

Marmite makes me heave, I can't handle it.

I am a rare Aussie, I like my Vegemite, thick like tar on my toast. Most Aussies only like it thin. 

Get your Son to try (if he doesn't already) on sandwiches (or toast)

Vegemite and sliced cheese good cold or grilled

Vegemite and Avo

Vegemite and sliced tomato 

and the sandwich my  Mum made me all the time for school (and I was very surprised to learn later in life other people's mothers did not make) Vegemite and lettuce. mmmmmm yummy

 

My Mum used to also use it as a stock and gravy base too

Tiger toast! With Weet-Bix. What a brekkie.

[Audrey2]

30 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

the version with marshmallows, pineapple, and pecans in addition to pudding and cool whip is called a Watergate Salad.

That is my shudder on the level of the mayonnaise talk earlier. When I was little my grandma made Watergate salad and I guess I really liked it the first couple time she made it. It showed up every time we had a family dinner event, and my Mom finally had to tell Grandma that none of us kids liked it.

[zee_four]

5 hours ago, justodd said:

I’m a pretty boring cook, mostly grilled meats and salads or raw veggies, but I used to make this when I was married:

 

cheater chicken pot pie

- leftover chicken (preferably from a Costco or deli rotisserie)

- 1 cup frozen mixed veg

- 1 can cream of chicken soup

- 1/2 cup milk

- salt, pepper, garlic powder 

- 1 cup Alber’s corn meal

- 1 cup flour

- 1/4 cup sugar

- 1 tbsp baking powder

- 1 tsp salt

- 1 cup milk

- 1/3 cup vegetable oil

- 1 egg

- 1/2 cup melted butter

- honey (as much as you like, or leave out completely)

 

Yank as much meat off the chicken as you can and cut into cubes. Mix together soup and first half cup milk until blended and add chicken and frozen veg. Sprinkle with salt, pepper, and garlic powder, mix well, and pour into casserole dish or ramekins. Combine other ingredients in a bowl and pour over chicken and soup mixture. (If you have any left over, pour into muffin tins and cook alongside.) Bake At 400 degrees for ~25 minutes and serve when toothpick inserted into top comes out clean. 

 

I’ve tried making it exactly once since I left my ex, and it was how I learned that baking at altitude really DOES call for extra attention. It did not bake properly AT ALL, and I haven’t tried it since. Probably for the best, where my waistline is concerned. ?

I've given up at baking at altitude. Well adjusting properly that is I still bake. I love recipies that are like "high altitude instructions for 3-5,000 ft above sea level" Hahahaha. That's low altitude. I grew up at just under 9,000 ft above sea level and my cousin and I are trying to move to the town just south of us that's above 10,000 ft. 

 

[MsSaylor]

That pistachio shit is good too.

My grandma used to make one with tapioca, the obligatory mayo/coolwhip/pinapple with juice mixture and the pastel colored mini marshmellows. It was called frog eye salad and I loved it. Sadly I was the only one who liked it and it got retired. She also makes tge most amazing thing which is cherry jello with applesauce and melted down red hots. Has anyone else heard of it?

[Daisy0322]

Here's our most duggar meal-

cow boy casserole 

start with a casserole dish and line with a thick layer of mash potatoes and add seasonings you like 

next, layer BBQ pulled meat of your choosing

dump a whole bag of frozen mixed veggies on top for next layer (any veggies will do in a pinch

take ab entire bag of shredded cheese and cover the casserole

bake in oven at 375 until hot all the way through

top it off with frenchs crispy onions and sautéed jalapeños if your feeling fancy

 

its a guilty pleasure of mine but it's unhealthy as hell.

[NotQuiteMotY]

To those who mentioned Mexican rice and poppy seed chicken, I'd never even heard of those before I got married, and the rice recipe at least is identical to the one I got from my MIL. The poppy seed chicken sounds exactly like my husband's description, too.

I've been trying to come up with a Duggar-esque recipe and not coming up with much. The two closest I can think of are both crockpot recipes: an "herbed fish bake" and my version of chicken and rice. The former is fish filets, cream of celery soup, potatoes, and dried herbs. Not exactly healthy, but filling and comforting. I usually do a green salad and whole-wheat biscuits with.

The chicken and rice is pretty much made up. Take four boneless chicken thighs and chuck them in a crock. Add as many sliced mushrooms as you want (and they can be canned, too!), maybe a quarter pound, and top with one can cream of mushroom soup. Refill can with chicken broth and some white wine and add. Sprinkle sage on it all and cook on low for six hours. Cook one cup rice separately until not quite done and stir into the crock about an hour before eating. Not way healthy, again, but I could eat buckets of it.

[EmmieJ]

2 hours ago, Four is Enough said:

Oh, tuna noodle casserole from the first hospital I ever worked at! Comfort food extraordinaire!

Tuna

flat egg noodles

mushrooms, mushroom soup

bread crumbs

a bit of shredded cheese

frozen/thawed peas.

 

OMG I'd go back there tomorrow for a big dish of that!

An almost identical version of this is serious comfort food for me.  I actually allow myself to have this once a year, guilt free.  I've got diabetes, so this is too carb heavy for more than that.

[TheOneAndOnly]

I LOVE Watergate salad but only once or twice a year. Recipe is -

 

1 20 ounce can of crushed pineapple

1 cup of mini-marshmallows

1 package of pistachio pudding mix (3.4 ounce)

1/2 cup of chopped pecans

1 1/2 cup of Cool Whip

DUMP all the ingredients into a dish and mix well. Refrigerate until you feel like getting it out. If you want to be fancy, garnish it with a few maraschino cherries and extra pecans.

[SapphireSlytherin]

34 minutes ago, zee_four said:

my cousin and I are trying to move to the town just south of us that's above 10,000 ft. 

Pretty sure I'd die. I'm happy at my 225 feet elevation.   (Bryce and Zion and Santa Fe and Breckenridge = SapphireSlytherin gets nosebleeds.)

[Glasgowghirl]

That Chicken is the worst thing I have seen in a kilt since I worked at Celtic Park and Scotland were playing.

 

 

 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

6 minutes ago, Glasgowghirl said:

That Chicken is the worst thing I have seen in a kilt since I worked at Celtic Park and Scotland were playing.

 

 

 

Awww.  I think of him as the lost Bay City Roller.

[SapphireSlytherin]

Unpopular opinion:  I can't STAND pistachios. 

[Lurker]

I love all these recipes.  They bring me back to when I got married in 1977 and was able to eat food we never had at home.  One of my Mom’s sisters loved to cook and we had a serious Italian-American dinner every night, with a fresh vegetable along with meat and a starchy veg, followed by salad, followed by fruit, then coffee with a cookie to finish it off.

My husband grew up in a kosher home, that had its own restrictions.

 We explored standard american foods like Cheeze Whiz, velveeta, Kraft mac in cheese from a box, mashed potatoes from a box, Franco American gravy, even American cheese in plastic wrappers was delicious and novel..   I grew up with ricotta, he grew up with cottage cheese.   We both gained 15 pounds in the first year we were married, no joke. 

 

Another duggar style recipe I was so proud to serve in 1977 was Chicken Divan.

2 boxes of broccoli, 10 oz each

4 chicken breasts quarters 

1 can of cream of mushroom soup plus milk or cream

1 can/ bottle of button mushroos

Grating cheese, bread crumbs

 

Put broccoli on the bottom of a pan, lay chicken on top, then mushroom.  Mix soup and cream then pour over chicken etc.  Top with some grated cheese and breadcrumbs.  Bake at 350F for about 60 minutes when chicken is cooked and sauce is bubbling.

I was such a rebel. Lol.

[cascarones]

10 hours ago, BachelorToTheRapture said:

Most duggar recipe my family has, hands down.

Yaaas, we bail out on the cornflakes, but cheesy potatoes from 1980 Southern Living are something I look forward to at the holidays.

It's comforting, it's Duggary (by the limited spice levels) and I'm sure I ate it at a VF potluck. Someone here probably has  a better recipe for Chicken Paprikas, but I need to ask to join the Feed Jinger blog.  

Ingredients:

1 cut up chicken OR mix drumsticks and thighs

1 tbsp olive oil

2 cups sour cream*

4 cups low sodium chicken broth*

3 tbsp Hungarian paprika

1 tsp salt

1 tbsp black pepper

1 onion chopped

2 tbsp cornstarch, dissolved 1 tbsp cold water (more as needed)*

2 cups cooked rice or egg noodles

(*Original Duggar style recipe has 1 can of cream of chicken soup, 1 cup sour cream, 2 cups chicken broth and no cornstarch)

Instructions:

Set rice to cook.

Heat 1 tbsp olive oil in deep sautée pan or dutch oven, salt, pepper and brown chicken on all sides.

Remove from pot to plate, remove excess fat and satuee onion until clear.

Add paprika, smoke for one minute then add broth, return chicken to pan and bring to a boil for 5 minutes.

Reduce heat to simmer and cook for 30 minutes or until chicken is cooked through.

Optional- Remove chicken from pan for sauce steps.

Reduce heat and stir in sour cream, ensuring it doesn’t separate. Mix cornstarch slurry in and simmer for 5 minutes or until thickened. Add more cornstarch as needed until desired sauce consistency is reached.

Serve with hot rice or noodles, cayenne optional as a serving condiment.

.......

[Maggie Mae]

35 minutes ago, TheOneAndOnly said:

I LOVE Watergate salad but only once or twice a year. Recipe is -

 

1 20 ounce can of crushed pineapple

1 cup of mini-marshmallows

1 package of pistachio pudding mix (3.4 ounce)

1/2 cup of chopped pecans

1 1/2 cup of Cool Whip

DUMP all the ingredients into a dish and mix well. Refrigerate until you feel like getting it out. If you want to be fancy, garnish it with a few maraschino cherries and extra pecans.

I'm seriously nauseated from reading it. Bleh. It's not a salad! Salads should not contain pudding! 

[MsSaylor]

I agree the term salad has been very abused in 1970s midwest cooking!!! Idk what else to call these concoctions though!

[HerNameIsBuffy]

11 minutes ago, cascarones said:

but I need to ask to join the Feed Jinger blog

Entrance will be yours momentarily ... if anyone else wants in let me know!

[caitrona]

4 minutes ago, MsSaylor said:

I agree the term salad has been very abused in 1970s midwest cooking!!! Idk what else to call these concoctions though!

According to the 70's, if you call it salad, it must be healthy.  Or something.  My contribution, which we found when cleaning out some of my grandmother's papers.  She had clipped it out of Woman's Day or someplace, and we were all super thankful she never got around to making it.

 

[Mama Mia]

9 minutes ago, MsSaylor said:

I agree the term salad has been very abused in 1970s midwest cooking!!! Idk what else to call these concoctions though!

Dessert? 

[HerNameIsBuffy]

3 minutes ago, caitrona said:

According to the 70's, if you call it salad, it must be healthy.  Or something.  My contribution, which we found when cleaning out some of my grandmother's papers.  She had clipped it out of Woman's Day or someplace, and we were all super thankful she never got around to making it.

 

That is horrifying and hilarious.