Dillards 69 : Write Your Own Joke Here

[HerNameIsBuffy]

Continued from ... (sorry about the title, I'm 12)

 

[SassyPants]

All you EF-ers know that I'm eating clean for lab work and my physical later in the month, don't you???

Salt-no

Sugar-no

White stuff-no

Processed stuff- no

Carbs-no

Fatty meats- no

Alcohol-no (for over a year now)

[SapphireSlytherin]

Just now, SassyPants said:

All you EF-ers know that I'm eating clean for lab work and my physical later in the month, don't you???

Salt-no

Sugar-no

White stuff-no

Processed stuff- no

Carbs-no

Fatty meats- no

Alcohol-no (for over a year now)

Sounds like a shitty way to live... lol

[sleepy_doggos]

@auntiekrissy quote [Ah google tells me it is a version of fake whipped cream???? sounds like a cool whip of cancer to me. 
Why fake whipped cream??? why just why?]

Because it's from the same cookbook era as Jill's spaghetti pie, which means oleomargarine, cool whip, and lots and lots of jello powder.
And yes probably cancer.

(about the stained recipe... My mom always says that the stained pages hold the best recipes)

[HerNameIsBuffy]

@AussieKrissy Cool Whip is a fake whipped cream type thing, far superior (IMO) to real whipped cream which I happen to think is vile.

I'm not sure it's technically considered a food, and I'm sure I couldn't pronounce most of it's ingredients, but I do love it's creamy goodness on holidays.

https://www.kraftrecipes.com/products/10265/baking-desserts/cool-whip

(It is most delicious scooped out of plastic container when no one is looking and licked off spoon or even fingers...so I hear.)

[sleepy_doggos]

[mention=18249]AussieKrissy[/mention] Cool Whip is a fake whipped cream type thing, far superior (IMO) to real whipped cream which I happen to think is vile.
I'm not sure it's technically considered a food, and I'm sure I couldn't pronounce most of it's ingredients, but I do love it's creamy goodness on holidays.
https://www.kraftrecipes.com/products/10265/baking-desserts/cool-whip
(It is most delicious scooped out of plastic container when no one is looking and licked off spoon or even fingers...so I hear.)

Also delicious frozen if you need some dairy-free vanilla ice cream

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 minute ago, sleepy_doggos said:

Also delicious frozen if you need some dairy-free vanilla ice cream

You have a standing invite for dinner at my house anytime - just bring that dessert!

[sleepy_doggos]

@auntiekrissy I have just received an update from mom that you should drain the can of pineapple. Lol. I am Jill, this is why I don't post recipes.

[AussieKrissy]

1 minute ago, sleepy_doggos said:

@auntiekrissy I have just received an update from mom that you should drain the can of pineapple. Lol. I am Jill, this is why I don't post recipes.

now that i can get behind. I like to drink the juice out of a pineapple can.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 minute ago, sleepy_doggos said:

@auntiekrissy I have just received an update from mom that you should drain the can of pineapple. Lol. I am Jill, this is why I don't post recipes.

LOLOLOL!  I'm picturing someone trying to make your recipe and having to change with your updates!  

I would love a season of Masterchef:  Free Jinger

I am going to take our Duggar style recipes internationale ... get ready to take a culinary trip to Spain.

Spanish Rice - casa de Buffy

White instant rice mixed with diced tomatoes, don't drain the liquid.  And don't get crazy and use "italian style" or add things like flavorings or spices.  This is a plain diced tomato recipe, dammit.

Put into large casserole rectangular pan.  Mine is glass.  I don't think that matters.

Take a package of hot dogs and slice them lengthwise and lay evenly across the top.

Cover the entire top with slices of American cheese.  Don't double the cheese layer anywhere, nor should any bit be left uncovered with cheese.  If you can't be precise, don't bother.

Put in oven at 400 until cheese is melty but not brown.  If there is any brown serve it to the most easy going person in your family, but not me because I will not eat it.

Go ahead, judge me.  There are times I crave this - but hardly make it as my boys haaaate it.  But the girl is coming by for a visit tomorrow and she loves it (sans hot dogs) so guess what's for lunch? 

 

 

[sleepy_doggos]

LOLOLOL!  I'm picturing someone trying to make your recipe and having to change with your updates!  
I would love a season of Masterchef:  Free Jinger
I am going to take our Duggar style recipes internationale ... get ready to take a culinary trip to Spain.
Spanish Rice - casa de Buffy
White instant rice mixed with diced tomatoes, don't drain the liquid.  And don't get crazy and use "italian style" or add things like flavorings or spices.  This is a plain diced tomato recipe, dammit.
Put into large casserole rectangular pan.  Mine is glass.  I don't think that matters.
Take a package of hot dogs and slice them lengthwise and lay evenly across the top.
Cover the entire top with slices of American cheese.  Don't double the cheese layer anywhere, nor should any bit be left uncovered with cheese.  If you can't be precise, don't bother.
Put in oven at 400 until cheese is melty but not brown.  If there is any brown serve it to the most easy going person in your family, but not me because I will not eat it.
Go ahead, judge me.  There are times I crave this - but hardly make it as my boys haaaate it.  But the girl is coming by for a visit tomorrow and she loves it (sans hot dogs) so guess what's for lunch?  [emoji4]
 
 

This sounds terrible but I would probably love it!!

[acheronbeach]

@AussieKrissy I think Cool Whip is an acquired taste.  It's got quite a viscous, greasy mouthfeel while simultaneously being full of whipped air.  It tastes vaguely like coconut oil and artificial vanilla and an odd chemical prickly taste that I've rarely encountered elsewhere.  I tried it thinking it'd taste like whipped cream.  It does not.  

[AussieKrissy]

3 minutes ago, acheronbeach said:

@AussieKrissy I think Cool Whip is an acquired taste.  It's got quite a viscous, greasy mouthfeel while simultaneously being full of whipped air.  It tastes vaguely like coconut oil and artificial vanilla and an odd chemical prickly taste that I've rarely encountered elsewhere.  I tried it thinking it'd taste like whipped cream.  It does not.  

Kind of like our Vegemite it  is also an acquired taste.  Generally if people are not raised with it, they hate it. 

it's all in what you are raised with I suppose.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

57 minutes ago, AussieKrissy said:

Kind of like our Vegemite it  is also an acquired taste.  Generally if people are not raised with it, they hate it. 

it's all in what you are raised with I suppose.

My son adores Vegemite.  Our local stores sell only Marmite in the import aisle, so he orders off Amazon.

He has been known to chase me around the house threatening me with buttered toast and a light layer of Vegemite.  Nice way to repay me for raising him.

Someone in the last thread asked for the pic of Steve in the kilt.  I found it - hope you're still reading this thread.

 

 

[AussieKrissy]

1 minute ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

My son adores Vegemite.  Our local stores sell only Marmite in the import aisle, so he orders off Amazon.

He has been known to chase me around the house threatening me with buttered toast and a light layer of Vegemite.  Nice way to repay me for raising him.

Marmite makes me heave, I can't handle it.

I am a rare Aussie, I like my Vegemite, thick like tar on my toast. Most Aussies only like it thin. 

Get your Son to try (if he doesn't already) on sandwiches (or toast)

Vegemite and sliced cheese good cold or grilled

Vegemite and Avo

Vegemite and sliced tomato 

and the sandwich my  Mum made me all the time for school (and I was very surprised to learn later in life other people's mothers did not make) Vegemite and lettuce. mmmmmm yummy

 

8 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

My son adores Vegemite.  Our local stores sell only Marmite in the import aisle, so he orders off Amazon.

He has been known to chase me around the house threatening me with buttered toast and a light layer of Vegemite.  Nice way to repay me for raising him.

My Mum used to also use it as a stock and gravy base too

[HurricaneBells]

1 hour ago, AussieKrissy said:

Marmite makes me heave, I can't handle it.

I am a rare Aussie, I like my Vegemite, thick like tar on my toast. Most Aussies only like it thin. 

Get your Son to try (if he doesn't already) on sandwiches (or toast)

Vegemite and sliced cheese good cold or grilled

Vegemite and Avo

Vegemite and sliced tomato 

and the sandwich my  Mum made me all the time for school (and I was very surprised to learn later in life other people's mothers did not make) Vegemite and lettuce. mmmmmm yummy

 

My Mum used to also use it as a stock and gravy base too

Vegemite and lettuce YUM. It also does not taste too bad with eggs according to my dad (even im not going that far). YES YES YES to all of this post.

[JillyO]

2 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

My Mum used to also use it as a stock and gravy base too

I personally find vegemite on bread absolutely vile (like you said - you probably have to grow up with it to like it). But I've made veggie Thanksgiving gravy that uses vegemite or marmite, and it's really good because it has that umami flavor that can be hard to get without meat.

[Bad Wolf]

Marmite rocks. Soft boiled eggs with Marmite soldiers. Yum.

[SorenaJ]

3 hours ago, SassyPants said:

All you EF-ers know that I'm eating clean for lab work and my physical later in the month, don't you???

Carbs-no

How are you avoiding carbs? Milk contains carbs, bananas contain carbs, oranges, beetroot, blueberries, apples, legumes, carrots, tomatoes, red pepper, leeks, onion, cauliflower, heck even broccoli contains carbs. 

[Mama Mia]

31 minutes ago, SorenaJ said:

How are you avoiding carbs? Milk contains carbs, bananas contain carbs, oranges, beetroot, blueberries, apples, legumes, carrots, tomatoes, red pepper, leeks, onion, cauliflower, heck even broccoli contains carbs. 

Aw...clearly you have avoided the super low carb world of Keto, Or about net carbs ( carbs minus fiber ) I have been doing it for a bit. It, shockingly, to me,  really brought down my cholesterol, and seems to be helping a little with some other on-going health issues. Plus I lost about 25 pounds which makes me happier than it should. 

 I’m doing it fairly loosely. There are approximately 400 batrillion blogs, posts and YouTube videos on the subject. If you are doing clean eating too it’s harder, but doable. 

If I was just doing low-carb I ‘d stick to low net carb vegetables  - mushrooms, zucchini, cauliflower, bell pepper. Cucumber.  Some salsa. I’d add in Chicken and Salmon for protein, Avocado and olives and nuts for fats / taste. 

Keto is more fat based. So red meat, eggs, cheese etc are ok too. 

 

 

 

[bella8050]

Can't do cool whip, or maragine, something in them gives me horrible headaches. I don't like the whipped frostings on cakes either - buttercream all the way! I love Reddi Whip but that messes with my sinuses.  

I don't have any Jill like recipes but probably would have some cooking pictures to match her if I captured my fails. One of my favorite lazy dinners is Hamburger Helper- without the meat so its really lazy. Living in a condo where we must have electric stoves - my HH dinners suffer the most from those burners unless I really babysit it, The parts I manage not to burn still taste good though!    

[TuringMachine]

My boss, who's English, says root beer tastes like medicine to her. I guess sassafras is  commonly used for flavoring medicine there? (or at least when she was a child). Personally I associate artificial grape flavor with medicine.

For most of my childhood that I was old enough to have memories of, my mom was an upper middle class stay at home mom. So not a lot of lazy meals for us. The only one I can think of was cold cut sandwiches.

[Someone Out There]

For me artificial cherry flavour tastes like medicine.  So Cherry starburst and Dr Pepper taste like medicine to me (I don't think we can still get Dr Pepper here at least in a general supermarket).

[EmainMacha]

16 minutes ago, TuringMachine said:

My boss, who's English, says root beer tastes like medicine to her. I guess sassafras is  commonly used for flavoring medicine there? (or at least when she was a child). Personally I associate artificial grape flavor with medicine.

For most of my childhood that I was old enough to have memories of, my mom was an upper middle class stay at home mom. So not a lot of lazy meals for us. The only one I can think of was cold cut sandwiches.

Yes! The one and only time I had root beer it tasted like the liquid antibiotic I got as a kid. Ugh.

I hate when I get root beer flavour in a handful of jelly beans. Ruins everything.

Also Marmite and Vegemite are of the Devil. Satan's spreads!

[Flossie]

HerNameIsBuffy wrote in a now-closed thread:

Quote

 

 I think FJ needs a contest - an out Duggar the Duggars recipe contest.  I've got some that makes this thing look like it came from the kitchens of Gordon Ramsay.

Rules would be have to be something you actually make, like or your family likes - so not just googling for gross recipes you'd never meet.  And a can opener would need to be involved at some point.

Anyone else besides me have stuff you make from time to time that would be perfectly at home in a Duggar cook book?

 

I got one that I've made in the past.  Take two cups of elbow noodles and cook them, then open a can of Cream of Mushroom or Cream of Chicken soup.  Add the soup to the hot noodles, no extra water needed.  To make it into a sort of entree, add some browned hamburger or some chunked chicken.  Just throw in anything that strikes your fancy.  You can grate some cheese over the top when serving.