Dillards 69 : Write Your Own Joke Here

[MsSaylor]

Those things arent always served as desserts though! Maybe the fluff type ones are but like where I come from jello salads are part of the regular meal. 

That prune thing has me speechless.

[HerNameIsBuffy]

This thread has me craving those jello molds with the white stuff...Idk what the white stuff is but you get them in the deli at any grocery store.

I don't even like Jello much, you people are a terrible influence.

[ViolaSebastian]

If you enjoy food monstrosities from a humor angle, I can't recommend the twitter account @70s Dinner Party enough. I get a laugh out of them at least once a day. 

 

 

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[HerNameIsBuffy]

1 minute ago, ViolaSebastian said:

If you enjoy food monstrosities from a humor angle, I can't recommend the twitter account @70s Dinner Party enough. I get a laugh out of them at least once a day. 

 

 

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I swear to God on that second pic I thought those were tiny walruses surrounding that pile of....something?

 

 

[Cheetah]

On Cool Whip - I didn't really understand just how fake this product was when I was a kid.  We always had Cool Whip in the freezer to go with whatever dessert we were having, and probably half or more of my mom's food storage containers were Cool Whip containers.  I was really amazed the first time I watched real cream being whipped... how simple it is and how much better it tastes.  I don't understand why people would eat the fake stuff, honestly.   I went to a dinner party a couple of weeks ago and one of the little old ladies from church brought dessert that had cool whip and it was the first time I'd had it in probably 10 years or so.  

For a Duggar-like recipe - this is one of my mom's fancy dinner party standbys.  I liked it when I was younger but I can't stand it any more... way too salty.  I got this version off the internet.. I think my mom leaves the canned mushrooms out.

Mike Roy's $10,000 casserole

Ingredients- 1/2 lb. fine noodles, cooked and drained
2 Tbsp. each, butter and oil
2 cups chopped onions
2 lb. ground beef
1 (4oz.) can mushrooms, drained
1 can cream of chicken soup
1 1/2 cups milk
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
1/4 cup soy sauce
1 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
1/2 lb. grated cheddar cheese 
1 can Chinese chow mein noodles (crisp)
1/4 lb. mixed salted nuts

Directions - Sauté onions in a large skillet until golden. Add meat, cook until browned. Combine mushrooms, soup, and milk, and add to meat mixture. Blend in spices, soy sauce, and Worcestershire sauce. Mix well and heat thoroughly. Butter a 3 quart casserole dish and spread cooked noodles over bottom. Cover with meat mixture. Top with cheese. Bake in 350º oven for 15 minutes, until cheese bubbles. Remove and top with nuts and crisp noodles. Return to oven for 10 more minutes.

 

[MarblesMom]

2 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

I don't even hate pistachio pudding, I just don't get why people need to mix it with cool whip and random things from their kitchen and call it a salad.

Beef No 1 with the Midwest.   Things like this that are sides or desserts ARE NOT SALAD.

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

I know right!  Just ask Austin Forsyth, it’s not salad without lettuce!!!!!!! (Sarcasm)

[PennySycamore]

One of the few things that my mom made that used a canned ingredient and I thought of the asparagus casserole that was her go-to recipe for Eastern Star suppers.  It could be made without too much fuss after she got home from work.  I didn't think I had the recipe but I have it in a cookbook that my sister's church put together:

Mama's asparagus casserole

I can asparagus spears cut into 2 " pieces, drained with the liquid reserved

1 teaspoon salt

1/8 teaspoon black pepper

3 eggs beaten

1 small jar pimento

1 cup grated cheese (my mom used cheddar)

1 1/4 cup cracker crumbs

1 cup milk  (may use reserved asparagus liquid, add milk to make 1 cup)

1/4 cup margarine or butter

Mix all ingredients except butter.  Pour into an oiled baking dish.  Melt margarine or butter and pour over top.  Bake uncovered at 350 degrees for20-30 minutes.

I still have the Corningware casserole dish that my mom usually used when she made this dish.  

(Looking through that cookbook I noticed a recipe for Watergate Salad.)

 

[Kailash]

55 minutes ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

This thread has me craving those jello molds with the white stuff...Idk what the white stuff is but you get them in the deli at any grocery store.

I don't even like Jello much, you people are a terrible influence.

That’s rich!  You literally asked for these recipes. Nice work though- I’m loving them. 

[Dandruff]

1 hour ago, MsSaylor said:

That prune thing has me speechless.

I'm disgusted but can't stop laughing.  No donut ever deserved that.

[Sky with diamonds]

Watergate salad...oh the memories it brings back. My mother used to make it every weekend for years. 

[bella8050]

Never heard of watregate salad...sounds good to me besides the cool whip ?

I don't really like pistachios but I used to love the instant pudding with that flavoring. (IIRC they had pistachio bits in them but I would sift them out) 

Jello molds with fruit in them were evil me growing up. Leave my jello alone!

[singsingsing]

I'm not a fan of pistachios, mainly because I'm allergic. I went to the grocery store tonight and there were bags of pistachios EVERYWHERE. Like the pistachio harvest just came in or something. I was like, "Not today, Satan."

[AlwaysExcited]

My childhood's comfort food that I both love and hate. Quite popular meal actually:

Makaroni Po Flotski: Boil pasta. Cook ground meat (beef if you are classy) seasoned with salt, onion and black pepper. Mix. Serve with pickles. May add some baked carrots and/or tomato sauce if you want to go fancy, just be aware that there will be people criticizing you for adding unneeded ingredients to such a classic dish. 
 

[Ash]

I have a Better Homes and Gardens cookbook from the late 1940s. It was handed down from my grandmother. In that era, it wasn't salad unless there was gelatin involved. And they did some really weird stuff like putting savory salad dressing on fruit salad.

 

ETA: Also if anyone is hankering for some chicken-fried heart, I can set you up with the recipe.

[RidiculousFundies]

12 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

the version with marshmallows, pineapple, and pecans in addition to pudding and cool whip is called a Watergate Salad.

USA has the weirdest foods I swear! Where I live people eat chicken feet and tripe with pap but Watergate Salad sounds bananas 

ETA we've been getting more foreign items like Miracle Whip and Marshmallow Fluff, which I haven't tried yet - is something I imagine to be very sweet good on bread? With like jam maybe? 

Also, my weird recipe isn't really a recipe, just the fact that my mom really couldn't cook well and once boiled steak ?

[SapphireSlytherin]

Back in my church-going days, one of the old ladies on the "Bereavement Committee"* asked if I could bring a salad for a family's post-funeral meal.

I asked if I could bring the lettuce/tomatoes/veggies to the fellowship hall and assemble it there. She looked at me like I had two heads---with horns. Then she said:

"No, Honey. A congealed salad." She meant something like this image, always served on a lettuce leaf.  

*This committee handles all things death-related, such as food, funeral setup, floral tributes, etc.

[PennySycamore]

@RidiculousFundies, I probably should let a good New England Yankee explain about marshmallow fluff,  bu they're one of the key components of a Fluffernutter sandwich which is bread spread with peanut butter and Fluff.  Marshmallow Fluff is also a good vegetarian substitute for marshmallows in recipes where the marshmallows are melted.  Fluff was something that was always on hand at my husband's cousins' houses in Massachusetts. That and Dunkin Donuts coffee.

Marshmallow Fluff is also used as part of the the filling in Whoopie Pies.

One of our favorite snacks to eat as kids was peanut butter and marshmallows on saltines which was then baked.  I call them Fluffernutter crackers.

[RidiculousFundies]

4 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

@RidiculousFundies, I probably should let a good New England Yankee explain about marshmallow fluff,  bu they're one of the key components of a Fluffernutter sandwich which is bread spread with peanut butter and Fluff.  Marshmallow Fluff is also a good vegetarian substitute for marshmallows in recipes where the marshmallows are melted.  Fluff was something that was always on hand at my husband's cousins' houses in Massachusetts. That and Dunkin Donuts coffee.

Marshmallow Fluff is also used as part of the the filling in Whoopie Pies.

One of our favorite snacks to eat as kids was peanut butter and marshmallows on saltines which was then baked.  I call them Fluffernutter crackers.

Thanks for the tip about a marshmallow substitute. We got Dunkin Dounuts here last year, I love the coffee! 

[nst]

cool whip = haven't had that since like I am five 

and since it's my birthday next week and I am turning 47 i did my annual dr oz real age test and bam he says I am 41. 

I love it. 

 

[front hugs > duggs]

Yasssss fluffernutter sandwhiches!!! Somehow the peanut butter fake marshmallow combo on white bread feeds your soul. I swear. 

[Granwych]

20 hours ago, HerNameIsBuffy said:

My mom made perfect soft boiled eggs...I've tried and never mastered it.  I crave them sometimes but haven't had a good one since she died.

That's one form of egg that I could never bring myself to eat...any runny egg.

53 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Back in my church-going days, one of the old ladies on the "Bereavement Committee"* asked if I could bring a salad for a family's post-funeral meal.

I asked if I could bring the lettuce/tomatoes/veggies to the fellowship hall and assemble it there. She looked at me like I had two heads---with horns. Then she said:

"No, Honey. A congealed salad." She meant something like this image, always served on a lettuce leaf.  

*This committee handles all things death-related, such as food, funeral setup, floral tributes, etc.

Anything with the word "congealed" in it I can never eat.  Reminds me too much of congealed blood.

[Granwych]

18 hours ago, justmissedquiver said:

Derick would not know whether to be disgusted or jealous.

Everyone knows that the only headpiece Derick needs to wear is an opaque bag, and as often as humanly possible.  And if said bag would muffle his voice, so much the better.

Anyone who likes the potato and cheese casserole, google "Lighthouse Inn potatoes."  The Lighthouse Inn was a locally famous place in New London, CT, that had it all--lodging, food, even a ghost or two.  I make the potatoes with frozen has browns, and they're just as good.

[JesSky03]

My mother in law makes that pistachio dessert where its the pudding mixed with cool whip and put on some type of crust (calls it "green dessert"). I like pistachio so the first couple times it was okay, but my husband loves it so my mother in law keeps making it for every get together. The last several times I have declined having some and so have others so it sparked a discussion on if everyone liked it or if she assumed everyone liked it simply because my husband likes it so damn much. It was decided that some of us were getting sick of it and would prefer some variety but when the next get together came around there it was. The dreaded green dessert. 

[Four is Enough]

My parents were married in 1949. I don't know when Jello came out, but my mother had not one but TWO Jello cookbooks.. she also had aluminum molds for Jello, both individual serve and larger. We got great use out of them when I was growing up, and then when the Tupperware molds came out, she got those, too.

We had congealed salads with fruit, Lots of pineapple, but also grapes, nuts, cool whip, and other things that changed the color and consistency of the jello. You can't add too much pineapple juice to jello or it will never solidify.

We had congealed salads with vegetables: shredded lettuce and carrots, primarily, but chopped celery and other things.

We had congealed "salads" with other stuff... I remember one thing my mother made with canned salmon and jello. Yeah. It took about three meals to convice her we'd rather be eating anything else...

I have to admit we still eat Pretzel salad, which involves jello, cool whip, pretzels, and maybe some cherries....