Lori Alexander 56: Lori Wants Others to Outbreed Islam for Her

[lilwriter85]

3 hours ago, EowynW said:

Someone has got to teach her to eat healthy in an appealing way.  

Speaking of salads, my baby red lettuce, salad bowl lettuce, beets, radishes, arugula, chard, radishes,  spinach and Kale have sprouted. I'm so excited. I've never grown or eaten beets before so here goes. 

Home grown beets usually taste pretty good. My parents planted them for a few years. 

[Carol]

I believe that's called "Contents of the Toilet" salad. ?

 

[Hane]

Dinner tonight is a Wendy’s grilled chicken salad because I’m all discombobulated.

[louisa05]

My day started slightly crazy and gradually descended into hell and culminated in sitting at a complete stop on the interstate for 30 minutes while trying to get home. 

The plan was to make spaghetti. We ended up going out for Chinese. 

Lori's salad looks and sounds completely disgusting. I'm sure my sister-in-law will be mixing that up and selling it for $50 per "family size" bowl by next week. 

[Coconut Flan]

I had orange glazed shrimp, fresh red bell pepper and cucumber, steamed broccoli, and a small baked yukon gold potato.  I'm seriously contemplating chocolate cake with chocolate chips for dessert.

[Koala]

Tonight's dinner was baked fish, stewed squash, and green beans.  

[AuntKrazy]

Mr. Krazy came home tonight and wanted to go out, so we went out for steaks and salad. (although I could recognize the ingredients of the salad I consumed).

 

[PennySycamore]

6 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

Please tell me that the salmon already looked like that and she didn't mash up a nice cut of salmon to look like that. 

I imagine that Lori used canned salmon and not fresh.

[feministxtian]

came home from work, fell asleep, we had cheesesteak pizza for dinner. I also had to feed my sudden addiction to fruit punch. I mean hawaiian punch fruit juicy red. Old school like from when I was a kid. Nothing else quenches my thirst...

Well...I never claimed I was normal y'all

[Sarah92]

Ended up making chicken tortellini Alfredo, with store bought Alfredo sauce and noodles because I was feeling lazy. And a glass of moscato because it just seemed right. It was really good and hit the spot. Also found some naan bread on the Walmart bread discount rack that I dipped in olive oil, herbs, and Parmesan while I waited for the stuff to cook. 10/10 for a lazy single girl meal. 

[klein_roeschen]

8 hours ago, Koala said:

Oh my god, how does she manage to make a freaking salad look so disgusting.  All of those flavors could not mesh well together.  It's like she takes pleasure in making food as nasty as possible.

 

And so much butter!  That must be $5 worth of that expensive shit she uses.

I allmost chooked on my morning coffee after seeing this recipe, I shouldn't read something like this in the early that early in the morning, it's just past 5 am here. Raw sauerkraut is very helpfull when you are obstipated, but the smell and the taste are very overwhelming. You can even buy sauerkraut juice at health stores and yes, there are people out there, who that drink that daily ? . I prefer my sauerkraut with smoked pork ribs or as part of Szegediner goulash, way better. But reading the ingridients of her salat, someone with some knowledge in food preperation can get something tasty out of. But that one isn't Lori. But now I have to get my peacefull sleeping doggie awake for his morning walk, even if it's dark and cold.

[SuperNova]

I hope Lori's salad gave her the runs.

We had turkey hand pies and a salad that looked like actual salad. The pies are supposed to be made with pate brise but I cheated and bought sheets of puff pastry instead. The filling is ground turkey, potatoes, carrots, onions, cheese, and a dijon Worcestershire sauce. I prepare and freeze them individually so I all have to do is take out what I need and bake. Dessert is blueberry flax muffins. 

 

[TheLambBeforeTime]

We had rosemary mushroom mead braised chicken breasts with coconut curry rice for dinner. Mr Lamb is a bomb ass cook who whips this stuff up out of nowhere. No one tell Lori that he does more cooking than I do, she doesn't need another aneurysm brought on by the amount of time my sexy ass Viking spends in the kitchen. 

I did have a salad for lunch today. It was made from fresh brussel and bean sprouts, with carrots, cabbage, and red onion (+2 Jesus Points for the holy sprout and cabbage combo.) in a poppyseed dressing that contained no raw eggs or sardines. (-2 Jesus Points for a lack of faith that He will protect me from the consequences of willingly ingesting salmonella.) It also came from a (*gasp*) ready made bag, (-1 Jesus Point for not going to the sacred Farmer's market on a pilgrimage for the holier produce) but it was organic and therefore as holy as the leaves Adam covered his hiney with. (+1 Jesus point for remembering Leviticus 99:69, "And thus the Lord said, buy expensive produce or burn, bitches." Guess my Jesus Points balance out for today, dodging that fiery pit one salad at a time over here. 

[SuperNova]

Someone in the comment section of the salad post asks Lori where she buys her butter or if she makes it herself. Lori responds:

"it’s probably a LOT cheaper to make it yourself but I buy mine from my local health food store. It’s hard to find, unfortunately, because it’s so nutrient dense. My sister told me it’s like eating vitamins!"

It's super special exclusive butter that only she can get her super secret, super special health food store that only sells the most nutrient dense foods to the most mentally dense customers. Lori's sister fucks with her head by telling her that the butter is like eating vitamins and Lori believes her because Lori loves woo. 

[Koala]

Today's post is special.

Referring to Ken:

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I asked him if he’s ever felt like I leeched off of him. He laughingly answered, “Of course! This is the way God designed it to be!”

"It's totally okay, Babe!  God designed you to be a leech!"

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No, I was no leech!

Sorry, Lori.  Your head felt you were a leech.  Who are you to question him?

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I shopped, cooked, cleaned, and decorated the home; making a house into a home. I ran the children to their sports’ and ballet practices and once a week, took them to AWANA. I made sure the children were well-nourished with good food and clean. I washed, folded, and put away laundry. I disciplined our children and taught them the ways of the Lord. I paid the bills and made sure the cars had oil changes, smog checks, and were kept in shape.

Well, actually you had a maid and a nanny to do those things for you.  Your nanny held your baby for "hours a day" (<---your words), because she couldn't stand to hear the endless crying you left her to so that you could "rest".

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 Lucy was a Nanny sent from heaven who never wanted to let Cassi cry, so she held her hours a day.

Remember?  It was on a Facebook picture from your daughter's wedding.  You deleted *just* that picture when you realized it contradicted all of your negative posts about nannies.

Here's the link to the (now) deleted photo.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10152226165764245&set=a.10152226259899245&type=3&theater

As for making sure your children were well nourished with good food, I think no one recounts it better than your husband himself:

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I took care of the kids' sports, my job, my food, my ironing, and investments.

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 I had to fend for myself many days and nights.   

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Many nights Lori made her big salads which the kids loved, then they came running for daddy’s food that I cooked.

Many have pointed out that your Instagram food posts refer to YOUR food that YOU eat.  You never refer to making a meal for both you and your husband.  

It seems that it was no different when your children were home.  Ken fended for himself.  You fended for yourself.  The kids?  Well, the kids ran to the food that KEN COOKED!

Aside from all of that, I can't think of one single mom (working or otherwise), who doesn't do every single thing you mentioned.  Except they really do it...they don't have a household staff to do it for them.

Lori:

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I was no leech!

Also, Lori:

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 I would definitely describe myself as a taker. 

Taker=leech.  Just ask Ken. 

[Koala]

9 hours ago, SuperNova said:

...her super secret, super special health food store that only sells the most nutrient dense foods to the most mentally dense customers. Lori's sister fucks with her head by telling her that the butter is like eating vitamins and Lori believes her because Lori loves woo. 

But, but...it's so nutrient dense, it's practically outlawed!  It's vitamin butter.  

You know those ads: "10 things your doctor doesn't want you to know.  Number 8 will shock you!"

Butter = #8.  Lori is "slathering" vitamins all over her salad, not just plan old butter.

I love that her sister told her.  I bet they just laugh and laugh...

"Gee, what can we convince her of today?  I know.  Let's tell her she's supposed to weigh her poop, and make sure she's pooping at least 2 lbs. a day.  She's full of shit, so it shouldn't be any problem at all."

Lori to Instagram-  "Women, we should be pooping at least 2 lbs a day!  I know you can get scales for under $10, but this is a special poop weighing scale that I got for only $260."

[Briefly]

I have a salad for lunch today.  I made it this morning.  It's not fancy, but it looks like a salad and not like Lori's conglomeration of grossness!  It's iceberg lettuce with tomato, onion, bell pepper, carrots, celery cut up and I also tossed a few green olives and a small amount of cheddar cheese.  I shook a little parsley on top.  I also cut up a few slices of pepperoni and tossed a few croutons on it.  I did think of Lori's special salads while I was assembling it, but I put that out of my mind quickly!  Mr. Briefly likes iceberg lettuce so it's usually in the fridge.

[Alisamer]

Does Lori know what butter actually IS?

I mean, yeah, there are some nutrients there, and I love some tasty butter melted onto good bread, but it's not the world's most perfect food.

I wonder if Ken did something to irritate Lori, and since she's submissive she can't say anything - but she can stink him out of the house with her nasty lunch!

Either that, or maybe the brain tumor is affecting her senses of taste and smell.

[polecat]

12 hours ago, Coconut Flan said:

I had orange glazed shrimp, fresh red bell pepper and cucumber, steamed broccoli, and a small baked yukon gold potato.  I'm seriously contemplating chocolate cake with chocolate chips for dessert.

Yukon gold potatoes are truly golden. I'm not a huge potato person, but I make an exception for those. Yum!

[squiddysquid]

I had toast. Still far better than Lori's crap, I imagine.

[PennySycamore]

@Koala, Lori sounds like something out of a 50s horror movie, The Leech Woman.

[SassyPantswithASideofClass]

I like salads, but Lori Alexander's salad looks gross and not to mention smelly and slimy. *shudders.  For dinner I had originally planned rice with some veggies. I ended up making a hearty wild chicken rice soup with veggies, salad (Cesar that came from a bag) , and store bought french bread with NON organic butter. I  (I went to the grocery store down the street from my house and it was NOT a health food store either)

[delphinium65]

We ended up going out for hamburgers and fries last night.  Yeah, not healthy, I know, but I didn't have to cook it!

Back on the salad subject...I'm not much of a salad fan, but we have a local restaurant that makes an awesome grilled chicken salad that even a non-rabbit food person like me can love.  Lettuce, assorted other greenery, cheese, grilled chicken strips, the croutons are fantastic!...hard cooked eggs, etc, and whatever dressing you like.  I very rarely order a salad when we eat out, but when we go to Broussard's I won't order anything else, it's that good. 

It's not that difficult to make at least a decent salad at home, use fresh ingredients, not lettuce that's been in the fridge for a week or more, whatever other bits you think will taste good, toss it all in a bowl, add dressing or not as you wish.  That thing in Lori's photo that she calls a salad is an abomination of nature, a Thing That Should Not Be.  

[Sobeknofret]

20 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

So the past few posts haven't gotten a ton of attention. Any guess as to what she might recycle next? 

Also what's everyone's dinner plans? I need some inspo, I'm in a food rut.

Last night was a Thai-style peanut chicken, Keto style. The Beast had rice with his and Darth Kid had peanut tofu (he's a veggie). Tonight will be hamburgers with bacon and cheese and black bean burgers for Darth, with fried potatoes for them and green beans for me. 

[SassyPantswithASideofClass]

1 minute ago, Sobeknofret said:

Last night was a Thai-style peanut chicken, Keto style. The Beast had rice with his and Darth Kid had peanut tofu (he's a veggie). Tonight will be hamburgers with bacon and cheese and black bean burgers for Darth, with fried potatoes for them and green beans for me. 

Oooh that sounds good. I wish I could have peanut products but sadly have a severe peanut allergy. Dinner tonight is chicken alfredo with garlic bread and salad. Oh and ice cream for dessert, or should I make some brownies? (from a box since I haven't mastered the art of homemade brownies)