Lori Alexander 41: The Uninformed Wife

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

19 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

not necessarily objectionable but sarcastic and a little snarky

Yes. I've also heard and said "bless his/her dear little pointy head", or just the standard "bless his/her heart."

[Lgirlrocks]

Lori needs to quit trying to blame women for everything. 

Sometimes the fault falls on the person who isn’t doing what they should be. 

[Fascinated]

Good thing Lori brings a light and goodness to the world, such as Kelly describes. Good thing Lori isn’t petty, or a drama queen, or gossipy or a backstabber.  And, even though I am a grown up woman, I don’t give a fuck if men swear around me. I will hold my own. 

[Curious]

Because I game, I hang out with a lot of men that are much younger than I am.  Several of them that I am close friends with are around my son's age.   When I first met them and we started using a voice chat without fail, every. single. one of them apologized to me the first time they said fuck in a conversation.   This is before they know I am much older than they are, so I don't think it's due to respect for my age.  People are usually surprised when they find out how old I am because I apparently have a 'young' voice.

I am not offended by the word fuck as anyone here well knows so I just laugh and tell them I don't give a fuck if they swear or something similar. 

I realize this is anecdotal, but I don't think men are as crass as Lori seems to assume they are.  

[Lgirlrocks]

1 hour ago, Curious said:

Because I game, I hang out with a lot of men that are much younger than I am.  Several of them that I am close friends with are around my son's age.   When I first met them and we started using a voice chat without fail, every. single. one of them apologized to me the first time they said fuck in a conversation.   This is before they know I am much older than they are, so I don't think it's due to respect for my age.  People are usually surprised when they find out how old I am because I apparently have a 'young' voice.

I am not offended by the word fuck as anyone here well knows so I just laugh and tell them I don't give a fuck if they swear or something similar. 

I realize this is anecdotal, but I don't think men are as crass as Lori seems to assume they are.  

I work with a lot of guys and most of them will apologize if they say a cuss word. They always try and watch what they say around me. I don’t in anyway get offended because I have a potty mouth. As a person who cussed I do watch what I say around people who I know don’t like cussing. It’s not hard. 

I didn’t know god had time to solve everyone problems in marriage. 

[SuperNova]

Oh, Lori. Not every woman is offended by the f-word. I really dislike walking into a room full of men and having them change the subject because I'm a delicate little woman. Mr Nova and I are into classic cars and we go to alot of car swap meets, repair shops, etc., and I always find it so annoying to be treated differently. While I appreciate that it's done out respect, I would much rather everyone just be themselves. I can laugh at a dirty joke same as a man. 

[smittykins]

When my husband and I first started dating, he apologized a couple of times for swearing in front of me.  I was like "Eh, I've heard it all, and I've said most of it."(Although to this day, I don't feel very comfortable swearing around my mom, and I won't drop any F-bombs in front of her.)

[refugee]

Geez, Lori. That’s right, give a man license to do whatever he wants, and it *will* take a miracle and an act of some kind of deity for him to grow up into a mature, thoughtful being.

Your way (I refuse to say “god’s way”) will almost inevitably produce a spoiled, insufferable brat.

[EowynW]

I can outcuss Mr. EW by a mile. 

[Frog99]

Cussing doesn’t bother me. It’s not my everyday vernacular, but I can certainly hold my own. I don’t expect anyone to change the conversation to protect me and I’m not sensitive. I worked in child welfare for 19 years- the things we talked about and even joked about would likely be upsetting to most, but when you deal with topics and situations like we did, it’s what the job entails (and the dark humor is a coping technique). And the things clients have told me- professional social workers have to engage and listen and demonstrate unconditional positive regard. 

What is CTBHHM- referred to in the screenshot above? 

[dairyfreelife]

TBH, I think most people, if they say a curse word in front of anyone they don't know well, they will apologize. I think people don't know if it's okay around some people and don't wish to offend. Once they realize that the person doesn't occur, isn't bothered, then they won't be either. 

Lori talks of cursing often. Me thinks she either curses like a sailor or someone in her family does. 

[Seahorse Wrangler]

1 hour ago, Frog99 said:

 

What is CTBHHM- referred to in the screenshot above? 

Created to be his helpmeet..AKA Debi's guide to being an abused wife.

[Koala]

I had no idea that Lori was so offended by cursing.

I guess I'm confused, because in 2014, she quoted the following on her blog:

Quote

Christian women need to be told the truth about men ~

Men are attracted to youth and looks. This is normal. Men are not evil, base or perverted for being attracted to youth and beauty. Young Christian girl, if you are not getting approached or asked out, it’s probably because you’re not attractive enough, you’re not nice enough or you’re not available enough. You need to work on this. You need to lose weight, grow your hair out, wear nice clothes and some decent makeup. You might be a b****, and if you are, you need to be nicer. If you really want to find a man and marry, then you need to get serious about it while you’re young. 

That's right, you might be a bitch.  I guess if it's a man calling a woman a bitch, she makes an exception.

I also find it kind of interesting that cuss words bother her so much, but she had no problem repeating Michael Pearl's "pump him dry" advice on her discreet and modest blog.  

That's just me, though.  I know Lori knows best.  She alone decides what's godly and what isn't.

 

[usmcmom]

Let's not forget how Lori fell all over herself to promote Cabinet Man's blog and he cussed all the time. His reasoning was that Jesus was a man and real men cuss; or some similar nonsense. 

[lilwriter85]

I spent part of the day going through a few past or current bloggers who have been discussed on FJ. I read Brianna Heldt's last several entries. Brianna is a Catholic mom of 9 living in Denver. Four of her kids are adopted and two of them have Down Syndrome.  Right now, Brianna is homeschooling 5 of her kids. The daughters with DS are attending a public school. Brianna had previously homeschooled and then placed most of her kids in public school. She decided to pull some of her kids out due to racism, bullying, and the kids' having issues with the material and certain subjects. 

Brianna doesn't totally bash public schools in general  like Lori and her fangirls do. She says that there were good things about the school that she pulled her kids from. The two daughters who are still attending public school like it and so the parents. Brianna says she believes in people doing what works for them.It was refreshing to read Brianna's blog posts after seeing the stupid shit Lori and her fangirls spout. Brianna admits to have trouble teaching her kids math which I doubt Lori leghumper Lindy would ever admit to.

 

1 hour ago, dairyfreelife said:

TBH, I think most people, if they say a curse word in front of anyone they don't know well, they will apologize. I think people don't know if it's okay around some people and don't wish to offend. Once they realize that the person doesn't occur, isn't bothered, then they won't be either. 

Lori talks of cursing often. Me thinks she either curses like a sailor or someone in her family does. 

I'm the type of person that won't curse in front of someone that I don't know well. I have a friend who has the rule that only curses in front of friends and relatives that she knows also curse and she tries to avoid cursing at work.

[feministxtian]

Oh for fuck's sake...I'm not going to get the vapors from a cuss word. I'm married to a now retired sailor with the vocabulary to prove it. I did 12 years of Catholic schools...learned how to cuss and roll really tight joints there. 

I worked in a male-dominated environment for most of my professional life (such that it is)...and well, MOST of the engineers and designers I worked with couldn't get through a single sentence without a fuck, hell, damn, shit and occasional goddammit. (YMMV). They didn't stop because of me. I did however object to the c-word...and told them so. Well, because I didn't object to the rest of their vocabulary, they figured that was one word that bothered me and most of them didn't dare push it far enough to piss me off. The couple who did ended up wishing I had reported them to HR instead of taking care of it myself. 

[SuperNova]

@feministxtian I knew we couldn't have a conversation about cursing without you! 

[mango_fandango]

My family are rather relaxed about swearing (is that a mainly British term?) however we know not to swear in front of strangers, and we wouldn’t do it in public. My father’s not as much of a swearer as the rest of us, but he still does it (mainly at adverts or certain politicians).

[feministxtian]

8 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

@feministxtian I knew we couldn't have a conversation about cursing without you! 

Everybody needs something to excel at...cussing is mine 

[Frog99]

3 hours ago, Koala said:

I had no idea that Lori was so offended by cursing.

I guess I'm confused, because in 2014, she quoted the following on her blog:

That's right, you might be a bitch.  I guess if it's a man calling a woman a bitch, she makes an exception.

I also find it kind of interesting that cuss words bother her so much, but she had no problem repeating Michael Pearl's "pump him dry" advice on her discreet and modest blog.  

That's just me, though.  I know Lori knows best.  She alone decides what's godly and what isn't.

 

How nice of Lori to spread the message to single women that they aren’t enough, and that it’s their fault they are single. She’s so vile. 

OT, but I had never heard of Suzanne Venker. There are some really unbalanced people that comment on her posts. No-fault divorces seems to be a huge sticking point for many of the men over there and several men claiming they are MGTOW thanks to feminism. Her page truly made me want to cuss. 

[onemama]

I spent a week dabbling in Lori-land and I know I need to leave her alone. I can't handle her stuff.  Anyone following her should ask herself these questions:

- does this woman teach undiluted truth with love and compassion?

- does this woman listen to her followers with respect, love and compassion?

- does she offer help to those in need?

- can I trust her with my story?

- how does she react to criticism? 

- does she treat her followers as equals? Is she willing to learn from them?

- do I want to become like her? How? Why?

- does she reflect the love of Jesus? 

- does she lead me to Jesus?

- does she live as she instructs us to live? 

- what do I know about her? 

I think Lori has become a leader because she feeds something in a certain group of women. I'm not sure that something is all that healthy or that it should be fed.  I see pride and arrogance in her and her followers. They think they are better than those who disagree with them. 

Lori's followers don't know her, yet they trust her. Why?  What has she done for them?  Upthread somebody said she was sad to see how women are seeking her approval. They should ask themselves "why?" Why do they need this woman's approval?  If they believe in Jesus and if they have the Holy Spirit, why are they seeking a mediator between them and God?   I understand going to a person who has studied the Bible more than you have and who has been living in the faith longer than you have and asking for advice. It should be that way in the Church. Those "elders" Paul talks about are people who are "older in the faith" and their lives attest to their faithfulness.  Does Lori's lifestyle make you want to know the source of her peace and joy? 

Do these women have no real flesh and bone friends in their local church?  My church is small, yet I've managed to find a few women I can talk with and pray with. We may not agree on every issue, but we know each other (a little bit) and we care for each other.  I don't need some celebrity old lady to agree with me. I need someone who will go for a walk with me and pray with me. Someone who sees me as her equal.  I found one of my friends while working on a VBS. She's 20 years older than I am and she has encouraged me a lot. No, she doesn't write a blog and hasn't published a book, but she's had my family and me in her home, she's shared her food, cake and coffee with us. She's been to our home and didn't pull out a camera to take pictures of the imperfections and the messy corners.  Her husband even fixed our car once!   

I can't understand how any woman would rather listen to Lori Alexander than a true friend who knows her and cares for her.  

I think this may be my last post on Lori Alexander. 

 

 

[Curious]

10 hours ago, smittykins said:

When my husband and I first started dating, he apologized a couple of times for swearing in front of me.  I was like "Eh, I've heard it all, and I've said most of it."(Although to this day, I don't feel very comfortable swearing around my mom, and I won't drop any F-bombs in front of her.)

I was always careful not to swear in front of my mom, even when I got to the point where I was swearing regularly with friends.   One day, my mom and I were fighting and it was pretty intense and without thinking I said something like I can't fucking believe this.   Time immediately stopped for me and everything started moving in extreme slow motion.   My brain realized what just happened and I couldn't even think because my mouth still seemed to be moving.  

I had never heard either of my parents use the f-word and I was waiting for the blow up.  When time started moving normally again the only obvious sign I had dropped the f-bomb was my SO at that time, sitting with his mouth open gaping at me with HUGE eyes.   I put my hand on his leg and squeezed it to get him to shut his mouth.  Either my parents didn't catch it or they decided it wasn't the time to pick another battle with me because neither of them ever said anything about it.

This was probably 25 years ago and I can still feel my horror when I think about it.

[Curious]

8 hours ago, feministxtian said:

I did however object to the c-word

I do not like the c-word and it has to be a very rare and extreme situation for me to even consider using it.  One thing I will say about hanging out with people from the UK and Australia is that it has helped me develop a bit of a thicker skin when I hear the word because they use it differently than it's used in the US.

I used to get a visceral reaction to the c-word, particularly if used by a man toward a woman (I have some personal reactions due to an ex).   Now, I can hear the word and it doesn't immediately trigger me just from the use of the word.

I've never heard an Aussie use it as a pejorative toward a woman (I'm sure it might happen, just not in my experience)

[Fascinated]

@Curious, I know exactly how you felt. When I was ten, my brothers (who were eleven) were horsing around with our cousins when things started to turn serious, as they always do.  One of them said something, I can’t remember what, and everyone stopped for a moment to see what would happen. So, to divert attention he yelled, ‘so what, Fascinated said fuck today’ (coincidentally I had earlier told my brothers to fuck off when they were annoying me).

Well, I felt just as you did. The room sort of went in and out and, yes, everything turned to slow motion.  I found my legs and ran downstairs and started sobbing. My parents came in. I realized soon after, that they felt they had to come and talk to me, and gently reprimand me, because I was so upset. They calmed me down and pretended that they thought swearing was a bad thing (which, I suppose it is if you’re only ten).  I’ve never forgotten it.

My dad is 89 now and we still swear in our conversations. Usually it is fucking this or fucking that. My parents were/are pretty great. 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Proof that Lori doesn't know anything about love or how to love.  loving others is unbiblical now.

"Women have told me that they don’t want to rebuke. They would rather just “love” others. This sounds warm and fuzzy but it’s not biblical"