Lori Alexander 41: The Uninformed Wife

[Sarah92]

I don't cuss a whole lot but I think there's something about your last semester of grad school that makes a person go F@(& this to everything. I don't really cuss towards people though usually just situations. My parents don't know lol because this is a new thing and even though my sister knows I don't really cuss in front of her. But unlike Lori, I very rarely feel like it's appropriate to call a woman a bitch. A personal choice really. 

[usmcmom]

I decided to stop cussing this year. 

I also decided to join Weight Watchers. 

The two decisions are not compatible AT ALL. As my cousin said "You can't stop cussing when you're on a diet! Fuck that and fuck these points!" 

[EowynW]

33 minutes ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Proof that Lori doesn't know anything about love or how to love.  loving others is unbiblical now.

"Women have told me that they don’t want to rebuke. They would rather just “love” others. This sounds warm and fuzzy but it’s not biblical"

This lady needs Jesus. 

 

 

[Koala]

Lori (who must not know her Bible very well, since she's so flippantly misrepresenting it):

Quote

They would rather just “love” others. This sounds warm and fuzzy but it’s not biblical.

Lori, you silly pharisee, not only is it Biblical, it's the SECOND GREATEST COMMANDMENT!!!!! Matthew 22:36-40

Further, John 13:34 says: 

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

John 15:12 says:

This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

1 John 4:7 says:

Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.

1 John 4:9-11

In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.  Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.  Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.

1 Peter 4:8

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

Galatians 5:14 says:

For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

And because I could go on ALL DAY LONG, I will stop with the following verse:

1 John 4:8 says:

He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.

Lori must not know God, or she would know that loving others is exactly what the Bible calls for.  Sad.  I guess there are some "Christians" that are like that, though...

 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

It wasn't until I read Koala's comment did I realize holy crap she put love in quotes. Just like with "christian". So, in other words love isn't something real or legit to her. Its some abstract concept. 

[Koala]

24 minutes ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

It wasn't until I read Koala's comment did I realize holy crap she put love in quotes. Just like with "christian". So, in other words love isn't something real or legit to her. Its some abstract concept. 

Mind blowing, isn't it?  Lori thinks love is unbiblical.  It explains so many things about her.  In her (very small) mind, she's only here to rebuke others.

As a side note, I suspect that Lori believes that love is unbiblical, because it's something she is not capable of.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Right, all she is capable of is criticism or what she would call rebukes to make it sound more godly.

[molecule]

Quote

Women have told me that they don’t want to rebuke. They would rather just “love” others. This sounds warm and fuzzy but it’s not biblical. 

So not only does Lori refuse to be loving in any way, she's now trying to tell her followers that they are being unbiblical if they are loving toward others.

What Lori doesn't understand is that there is a difference between "speaking truth" and "speaking truth in love." When women say they would rather love others, that doesn't mean they are unwilling to speak the truth altogether. It usually means that they want to reach out in a way that is loving in order to create a relationship in which the other person will be able and willing to hear the truth. Rebuke best happens in the context of relationship. I guess that explains why Lori doesn't understand this. When she talks about the other people in her life, it never sounds like she has an actual relationship with any of them. How sad for her (and fortunate for them).

Lori says,

Quote

Never be afraid to do what the Lord has called you to do. There’s an eternity in front of us and all that matters is where our loved ones spend it. 

She doesn't mean it, though. What she really means is, "Never be afraid of what I have called you to do." She doesn't trust easily deceived women to understand for themselves what God is telling them to do.

Regarding language: I have an inclination toward raunchy language (which is NOT good for someone who is in ministry). Several years ago I decided that for Lent I would give up using the f-bomb in casual conversation. It was really hard for a few weeks, but then it got easier. I've mostly purged it from my vocabulary, except when I'm very angry or am in bed with my husband, in which cases I consider it quite appropriate.

[Florita]

When I was a kid in elementary school, just saying "Oh, God!" or "Jesus H. Christ!" would land you in the principal's office. But we could say ni**er all day long and no one would bat an eye. Now my older kids (in their 20s) who are capable of swearing up a storm will not say ni**er. Ever.  

[TeddyBonkers]

My language is HORRIBLE when I'm by myself or in the company of soldiers. I will turn the air blue (but refuse to say the c-word, I draw the line there).

I can't believe the lack of self-awareness Lori has. One time, ONE TIME, someone told her that she needed to get her marriage straightened up and she thinks that she listens to correction and rebukes all day long. Bullshit my asshole.

I'm actually shocked she didn't use quotes like this:

Quote

Most Christians are afraid to rebuke other "Christians" who are in sin.

Since she's so quick to determine who is and who isn't a Christian. I always thought that we would know them by their fruit. And Lori's fruit is a mouldy durian.

[PhoenixRising]

16 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Yes. I've also heard and said "bless his/her dear little pointy head", or just the standard "bless his/her heart."

I mostly heard the standard “ Bless your little heart”— sometimes with an added  darlin’ at the end— when I lived in Texas.  

[SongRed7]

1 hour ago, Koala said:

Lori, you silly pharisee, not only is it Biblical, it's the SECOND GREATEST COMMANDMENT!!!!! Matthew 22:36-40

Further, John 13:34 says: 

A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

John 15:12 says:

This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

1 John 4:7 says:

Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God.

1 John 4:9-11

In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.  Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.  Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.

1 Peter 4:8

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

Galatians 5:14 says:

For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

And because I could go on ALL DAY LONG, I will stop with the following verse:

1 John 4:8 says:

He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.

Lori must not know God, or she would know that loving others is exactly what the Bible calls for.  Sad.  I guess there are some "Christians" that are like that, though...

I wish someone would post this to her sight and see what happens.  I was already banned for posting a counter opinion (based on science) that underwires DO NOT CAUSE cancer.    But she says if people have different opinions and support it with scripture she doesn't delete it.  I'd like to see her response. 

[Sarah92]

10 minutes ago, SongRed7 said:

I wish someone would post this to her sight and see what happens.  I was already banned for posting a counter opinion (based on science) that underwires DO NOT CAUSE cancer.    But she says if people have different opinions and support it with scripture she doesn't delete it.  I'd like to see her response. 

Hahaha she herself can't take rebuke with a soft heart. I got banned for a very polite counter opinion and for using scripture. No response, just deleted. I was a little stunned but this was before I knew the depths she has gone to in order to begin building her cult. 

[samurai_sarah]

40 minutes ago, Florita said:

When I was a kid in elementary school, just saying "Oh, God!" or "Jesus H. Christ!" would land you in the principal's office. But we could say ni**er all day long and no one would bat an eye. Now my older kids (in their 20s) who are capable of swearing up a storm will not say ni**er. Ever.  

Interesting how things change and thank goodness they do! The one time someone gave me a hard time for swearing was when I said "Holy effing hell!" The person I was with had no issue with the f-word, but "holy hell" was too much for her strict Pentecostal sentiments. Eh, the situation warranted it, and the fact that she no longer speaks to me is quite welcome too (nothing to do with her religious convictions, all to do with her just not being a very nice person).
 

Spoilered long examples about swearing in different cultures, social strata, religion, amongst ESL speakers etc:

Spoiler

 

Normally, in English, I don't swear or if I do, I use "bloody/blooming/buggering". That's got everything to do with the way I was socialised into English. In my circles swearing was simply "not done". Even though I've moved several times since then, if I so as say "crap", my environment stares at me in confusion.

In German, I curse a blue streak at every given opportunity, and am rather creative at it, thanks to compound nouns. Plus, my Catholic region has a long tradition of blasphemously cursing one another or any given situation. That combined with swearing almost exclusively related to bowel movements makes for many creative opportunities.

A friend of mine, also a German transplant to the UK, curses like a sailor in English. She was socialised in a less "polite" environment, where calling someone "bastard" could either be a cuss or a term of endearment. Consequently, her language is colourful. When she moved and entered my then-environment, people were shocked. 

Whenever we spoke German, she was the one shocked. In German, being from a different Protestant region and from "polite society", she hardly swore. She doesn't object to me swearing, she just sometimes comments that a particularly graphic outburst of mine has turned her stomach.

In a similar vein a Greek friend in the UK and I prefer swearing in our native languages, unless we're trying to communicate something. ESL swearing in her opinion and in mine, doesn't relieve stress as effectively, when we're just venting, rather than communicating. "Bugger this" isn't quite as effective, when I get frustrated with a DIY project, as when I shout "Scheiss drauf" (Shit on it).

Then there's the c-word. I know it's bad, I know I should be offended by it, I certainly don't use it and correct people who do, but if someone calls me that it has no personal effect on me. It's not a swearword where I come from, hence nothing that instantly offends me. There is a comparable word, but it's so old-fashioned that I have never heard anyone use it. Slut ("Schlampe" in German) has several meanings, and where I come from it's used to describe an woman who keeps a literally untidy household and appearance . No sexual connotations, but it can have in other parts of Germany.

Swearing is endlessly fascinating to me on a cultural, social and historical basis. There are so many differences and nuances that betray cultural, social and historical biases. Or in Lori's case: pure ignorance.

 

Lori is so ethnocentric and so focussed on her view of the Christian world that I often wonder if it has ever even occurred to her that Jesus lived in a different country, in a different culture and in a different time. She appears to have so little understanding of a world outside her tiny fragment of a world she created for herself that I'm not sure Jesus would even recognise any of his teachings according to her.

Obviously, I can't be sure how Jesus would react to the occasion inventive swearing about faecal matters from me. But I suspect that he would find it less offensive that I say "Holy Shit" occasionally in the tradition of my people, than her twisting his words to suit her worldview. At least my random exclamations do no harm to anyone! Lori does harm!

[AlwaysDiscerning]

My word...get a load of this...

Emily says:

March 19, 2018 at 7:16 am

Quote

Lori, what I don’t understand about this is if we are “Once Saved Always Saved” then why does it matter if we rebuke other Christians? Is this only in regards to non-believers?

Reply

Lori Alexander says:

March 19, 2018 at 7:34 am

Quote

 

I don’t concern myself with the “once saved always saved” belief, Emily. I just believe what the Word of God tells us. The only ones who will be saved are those believe until the end.

“Take heed, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief, in departing from the living God…For we are made partakers of Christ, IF we hold the beginning of our confidence steadfast unto the end…And to whom sware he that they should not enter into his rest, but to them that believed not? So we see that they could not enter in because of unbelief…For we which have believed do enter into rest…” (all from Hebrews 3) The entire book of Hebrews is about having faith and enduring until the end. The only unforgivable sin is that of unbelief.

 

 

Lori uses gotquestions a lot so this one is for her...

https://www.gotquestions.org/once-saved-always-saved.html

[Free Jana Duggar]

1 hour ago, SongRed7 said:

I wish someone would post this to her sight and see what happens.  I was already banned for posting a counter opinion (based on science) that underwires DO NOT CAUSE cancer.    But she says if people have different opinions and support it with scripture she doesn't delete it.  I'd like to see her response. 

I commented on her blog using those verses, but of course...nothing.

[Koala]

Dear Lori,

Kindly read John 10:28

And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.

According to the Bible, once you are given eternal life, you can never be removed from the hand of God.

Maybe if you read something other than Titus 2, you'd know that.

Speaking the truth in love,

Koala 

[refugee]

5 hours ago, onemama said:

can't understand how any woman would rather listen to Lori Alexander than a true friend who knows her and cares for her.  

Excellent questions. I think some of it has to do with confidence. Lori has it. I think her followers either want it (the pitiful ones) or have a similar form as Lori’s (the obnoxious ones). Confidence without pity (even totally devoid of knowledge or wisdom) exerts a strange power over people who are always second-guessing themselves, suffer from anxiety, or have been beaten down by their upbringing or circumstances.

[AuntKrazy]

@refugee beat me to some of what I was going to say about listening to Lori Alexander.

The other part of it is that I believe it is common for pain and struggle to drive people to seek answers; but what is really lacking is meaning in the midst of ongoing trials.  I think true friends, as well as mental health professionals, and most clergy who are truly spiritually minded, direct people to the process and journey and help reframe the question into a search for meaning in the midst of struggle and pain.

Lori's way gives answers but not meaning.  (which makes them false answers).  But it's easy in that one does not have to keep searching or do hard emotional work (something Brene Brown would call "practicing" courage, compassion, connection, and , they can just plug into the formula and conclude "I just didn't do it right".  The irony is that "answers" do more harm than good emotionally and spiritually.

(I believe that Lori's diatribe a few weeks ago against the idea of "I am enough" was directed at Brene Brown's work and influence, particularly in light of women's ministries embracing a paradigm which searches for meaningful living.  Ms. Brown's work has formal research behind it, and to me, seems consistant with both psychology and the Bible.  Wholeheartedness, then is journey rather than the formulaic role of "silent submission".  I think some people who have followed Lori may have found Ms. Brown's work (in counseling, even) and Lori's response has been to double down on "Bible only, and Bible my way."

 

[TeddyBonkers]

I'm not a theologian, nor do I play one on TV, but I have some REAL CONCERNS over her comments on her post today. Like Koala noted earlier, the gospel of John says that "no one shall pluck them out of my hand".

Quote

Baptism doesn’t save us. It’s a symbol of dying to the old self and being raised a new creature in Christ. If someone continues to live in sin, they are not a true believer according to 1 John. Repentance means we turn from our sin, so someone who refuses to repent, even if they say they believe, their actions show they are not a true believer.

I may be a new creature in Christ after my baptism, but that doesn't mean I'm a sinless being. I'm going to sin every single day. (Let's face it, I'm a horrible person. ) I confess my sins, ask forgiveness from God, and just as importantly, from the person I've harmed with my sin. To me, that's repentance. Am I going to mess up again? Yep. Because I'm not a robot. If God wanted sinless beings, he wouldn't have put the Tree of Knowledge in the garden of Eden. But neither does that mean I've lost my salvation.

 

 

[refugee]

@AuntKrazy excellent analysis. And interesting  that you mention Brene Brown. I was recently introduced to her (ETA videos and books), and her message feels like a refreshing antidote to the shame culture infusing fundy world.

[Hisey]

2 hours ago, Koala said:

Dear Lori,

Kindly read John 10:28

And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.

According to the Bible, once you are given eternal life, you can never be removed from the hand of God.

Maybe if you read something other than Titus 2, you'd know that.

Speaking the truth in love,

Koala 

Great rebuke! I hope she has a teachable heart and can hear you. Otherwise, as she so darkly hints, she will continue in sin and possibly end up in hell.

4 hours ago, TeddyBonkers said:

My language is HORRIBLE when I'm by myself or in the company of soldiers. I will turn the air blue (but refuse to say the c-word, I draw the line there).

I can't believe the lack of self-awareness Lori has. One time, ONE TIME, someone told her that she needed to get her marriage straightened up and she thinks that she listens to correction and rebukes all day long. Bullshit my asshole.

I'm actually shocked she didn't use quotes like this:

Since she's so quick to determine who is and who isn't a Christian. I always thought that we would know them by their fruit. And Lori's fruit is a mouldy durian.

She is chomping at the bit to "rebuke" someone. Christian, nonChristian, dog, fish, fowl. . . doesn't matter. She wants to tell someone they are WRONG and she is RIGHT.

[Sarah92]

1 hour ago, Hisey said:

Great rebuke! I hope she has a teachable heart and can hear you. Otherwise, as she so darkly hints, she will continue in sin and possibly end up in hell.

She is chomping at the bit to "rebuke" someone. Christian, nonChristian, dog, fish, fowl. . . doesn't matter. She wants to tell someone they are WRONG and she is RIGHT.

Well she certainly has no problems rebuking her sinful cat. Didn't she kick the poor thing? 

[Koala]

15 minutes ago, Sarah92 said:

Well she certainly has no problems rebuking her sinful cat. Didn't she kick the poor thing? 

Tried.  Failed. You might call it instant karma. 

Quote

One early morning, I came downstairs and my cat was nipping at my feet. This wasn't a good cat. Actually, he was a mean cat so I went to kick him so he'd stop biting me. Well, he ran away and I kicked the wall instead. Oh, I was in pain. 

You know what they say...pain is a great teacher!  We don't kick innocent animals, Lori.  That's something most people know right off.  If they don't, their cats teach them the hard way.  

(Can you imagine the smug look on that kitty's face?!?!   She was probably delighted by the turn of events)

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I wonder which member off her family she wants to rebuke? Who has ticked her off now by merely being a "Christian."  She is fairly salivating at the prospect of telling someone off.  Lori is like an addict needing a fix.