Dillards 51: Making Play Look Complicated

[Crazy Enough to Join]

1 minute ago, luv2laugh said:

ONLY if it means he can stay home and play pretend missionary and virtual pastor. I think he would prefer Jill to be the breadwinner if he it meant he didn’t have to but that’s just my own opinion for now.

Finances could also be a powerful motivation for him to want to limit family size and encourage Jill to get a job. FJers should remember he did not grow up in a large family so unlike Austin or Ben who are used to a chaotic, kid-filled house, Derrick may have a more culturally typical male reaction to two kids in two years i.e. never again!

[Kelsey]

3 minutes ago, Crazy Enough to Join said:

Finances could also be a powerful motivation for him to want to limit family size and encourage Jill to get a job. FJers should remember he did not grow up in a large family so unlike Austin or Ben who are used to a chaotic, kid-filled house, Derrick may have a more culturally typical male reaction to two kids in two years i.e. never again!

Austin only has 1 sibling.

[nastyhobbitses]

10 minutes ago, Crazy Enough to Join said:

Finances could also be a powerful motivation for him to want to limit family size and encourage Jill to get a job. FJers should remember he did not grow up in a large family so unlike Austin or Ben who are used to a chaotic, kid-filled house, Derrick may have a more culturally typical male reaction to two kids in two years i.e. never again!

But they'll keep pumping them out as long as Jill's uterus allows. Because Jesus. And Derick will resent each and every one. 

And with all the talk of how much money both boys' post-birth care cost, I'm wondering if part of Derick's bizarre sentiments about his kids are colored by resentment about how much money they've cost him. I think he sees relationships as transactional (and considering his wedding was almost literally a transaction...), and I could see him thinking "you cost me thousands of dollars, and will continue to cost me who knows how much, the least you can do is be quiet and obedient". 

[AlwaysExcited]

1 hour ago, Crazy Enough to Join said:

Derrick's going to be the one to write the tell-all. Calling it now for bragging points.

 

I suggest the title to be "I DID NOT have relations with that tv channel, TLC."

[MarblesMom]

29 minutes ago, Beermeet said:

t's known *thing* on social media that if you present your life as so perfect, it's really either just "normal" or not good at all.

Seen this x500 from everyday folks.  Cringey.

Given we are seeing this from a D-list ex TLC star, even that more obvious how awkward things are.

[StepMonsterInLA]

2 hours ago, singsingsing said:

I would love for Derick to explain why on earth they continued to participate in this reality TV show if they weren't being paid for their appearances. Please, Derick. Enlighten us.

Jesus. 

[artdecades]

3 hours ago, JenniferJuniper said:

There's definitely a huge difference between the "feel" of Jessa's social media and Jill's.   Jessa comes off as darn near perfect mom with a helpful husband and adorable kids always ready for their close-ups.  Jill's photos are always off-kilter in some way.   And she's married to an ignorant pig.

You cannot really tell what someone's life is like from social media, but coupled with what we know about what Jill has gone through in recent years, I would not be surprised if she feels defeated, and maybe a little jealous of her sister who appears to have it far more together.

I wonder how much of that is actually reflective of her life and how much is just Jill being bad at the game. I remember back when I watched the show Jill was always the annoying goody two shoes. Jessa and Jinger were fan favorites because they knew how to play in front of the cameras and were funny. Until her engagement, Jill was always the awkward one and not the focus. When she got married at first she got all the attention and all that was forgotten. Now that a bunch of them are married with families now, she is back to being the awkward one. I don't mean this in a mean way, just that I don't think she has ever been great at the reality tv game and that reflects in her lack of social media prowess. Jinger and Jessa were better at the show and are better at social media.

[Sky with diamonds]

I figured him ranting wouldn't take long. He seems very...bitter and very self absorbed, not a good combination. Derick is biting the hands that litreally fed his wife for years. The guy has no shame.

Again, I feel bad for Jill and the kids. They deserve better than this POS for a hubby and a father.

[freethemall]

7 hours ago, Crazy Enough to Join said:

Also, Derrick seems to be in an irritable "explain myself to the world" mood right now. Anyone want to start asking him some  questions on social media and see what he'll say? Suggestions for questions to ask that have a high probability of him answering? (We know he won't answer anything that makes him look bad.)

Maybe this is the time to get more answers about what happened to Samuel, since he seems to be in a sharing mood about that. Questions that are less accusatory and more concerned could get real answers not these BS non-answers he's giving about Jazz and exploitation of Duggar children.

[QuiverFullofBooks]

My guess is that he did have health insurance through Walmart, but he didn’t read the fine print and there was something in the complicated birth that wasn’t covered. TLC probably did pay them (or the family trust) for the episode, but not enough to cover the cost. But it means nothing that they were paying it off for a year- if you don’t pay much each month, any amount can take a year. Anyway, the birth did make money for TLC while leaving Derrick in debt, and I can see how he would be mad about that, while his in-laws obviously take a longer view. Sam’s birth probably wasn’t filmed.

[LurkerOverThePond]

7 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

But they'll keep pumping them out as long as Jill's uterus allows. Because Jesus. And Derick will resent each and every one. 

Remember what Derick said after Sam's birth: "Two is for quitters!" Which is weird since Derdick himself is one of two kids.

[sableduck]

Even though we had decent private health insurance, my son’s NICU stay cost us quite a lot.  We had the deductible and co-pays.  In our state he was one ounce over the birthweight that would have qualified him for Medicaid.  I sort of would feel the same way as Derrick—TLC made a lot of money on this birth and they can’t help us with the overwhelming expenses? Even though rationally I know that’s not how it works, I think I’d feel a touch resentful too.

I personally don’t think he’s lying about not getting money from TLC.  I am sure the check is a lump sum for every episode into a trust, and JB isn’t doling it out. That’s “family money,” not Jill or Jessa or Jinger money.  I grew up QF and even know I see patriarchs trying desperately to retain control of their adult children, including economically.

ETA: I also am not entirely convinced he was referring to TLC.  I know that seems to be the consensus, but, honestly, gossip in the ATI world I’m tangentially part of is that Derick and his in-laws have some major issues.  The people I know who are two degrees connected to the Duggars believe he’s actually referring to his in-laws making a ton of money to the family trust off that episode and not helping to pay any of the hospital expenses.

[HarleyQuinn]

I don't feel bad for him at all. He likely signed a contract saying TLC isn't responsible for any costs for births. They already footed the bill for Jill to travel to Nepal to meet him in the first place, and also probably paid for a good chunk of their wedding. He's greedy to want more from them. Plus, didn't they only air 5 minutes of actual footage of her in labor/after she gave birth? IIRC the episode was mostly a flashback to earlier footage. 

[JenniferJuniper]

5 minutes ago, sableduck said:

Even though we had decent private health insurance, my son’s NICU stay cost us quite a lot.  We had the deductible and co-pays.  In our state he was one ounce over the birthweight that would have qualified him for Medicaid.  I sort of would feel the same way as Derrick—TLC made a lot of money on this birth and they can’t help us with the overwhelming expenses? Even though rationally I know that’s not how it works, I think I’d feel a touch resentful too.

I don't know about Walmart corporate employees but insurance coverage for worker bee employees can be very basic.  And if Derick opted for the cheapest plan it was probably limited coverage.  

Derick can feel any way he likes, but bottom line, as a stalwart Trump fan and Republican he ought to know that TLC owes him nothing more than what was agreed upon, no matter how much they made airing the birth.  Suck it up, dude, you didn't play your cards right.  Corporations exist to make money; they aren't charities! 

Someone asked earlier if he was referring to TLC or his in-laws.  I'm sure he was referring to TLC in this context, but it isn't a stretch to imagine that he's pissed at Jim Bob too, even though Boob would go broke himself if he covered all of his grandchildren's complex births.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

14 minutes ago, sableduck said:

Even though we had decent private health insurance, my son’s NICU stay cost us quite a lot.  We had the deductible and co-pays.  In our state he was one ounce over the birthweight that would have qualified him for Medicaid.  I sort of would feel the same way as Derrick—TLC made a lot of money on this birth and they can’t help us with the overwhelming expenses? Even though rationally I know that’s not how it works, I think I’d feel a touch resentful too.

I personally don’t think he’s lying about not getting money from TLC.  I am sure the check is a lump sum for every episode into a trust, and JB isn’t doling it out. That’s “family money,” not Jill or Jessa or Jinger money.  I grew up QF and even know I see patriarchs trying desperately to retain control of their adult children, including economically.

ETA: I also am not entirely convinced he was referring to TLC.  I know that seems to be the consensus, but, honestly, gossip in the ATI world I’m tangentially part of is that Derick and his in-laws have some major issues.  The people I know who are two degrees connected to the Duggars believe he’s actually referring to his in-laws making a ton of money to the family trust off that episode and not helping to pay any of the hospital expenses.

I can see this, I'm sure the TLC money gets paid to 1 person/trust and daddy keeps it and pays out what he wants to keep his kids under his control.  Ben & Jessa are obviously not rocking any boats, JinJer don't need daddy's stinking money, and neither do Joy & Austin, but Jill & Derelict do, and Derelict wasn't toing the family line, or isn't doing what daddy in law demands so there is tension.  

[19dageld]

8 hours ago, Kelsey said:

Austin only has 1 sibling.

From his mom he only has 1. But his dad has 2 kids from a previous marriage 

[Jenn The Heathen]

Life has been crazy, but I’m finally getting caught up.

1- Derek is spiraling out of control and I’m genuinely concerned for Jill and the boys’ safety.  He just doesn’t seem mentally sound right now.

2- I think the speculation that Boob gets all the money and doles it out as he sees fit is correct.  It made sense when the kids were all underage and the family as a whole was the focus, but my understanding is that Boob and OfBoob aren’t even the focus of the show anymore.  The adult kids (minus Smuggar and Jill) are carrying the show and should be compensated accordingly.  That being said, I don’t really feel bad for any of them (except the new Duggars being born into this circus).  They could all quit, get real jobs and stop living under Daddy’s thumb but this life is way easier than getting a job and actually working, especially  when you have little to no actual skills.

3- I agree with everyone who says there’s a chance that Sam could have been in the NICU through no fault of his parents, but given what happened with Israel, chances are, it was poor decision making that lead to his stay.  My oldest almost wound up in the NICU despite being full term, uncomplicated delivery, and a normal birth weight and the prospect was terrifying.

4- If Derek is talking about TLC not paying the hospital bills, he’s acting like an entitled brat.  Even if all the CO money was going into a family trust controlled by Boob, TLC was still paying them.  That’s like expecting your employer to pay your bills on top of paying you a salary.  If it’s his in laws who refused to pay the medical bills out of the family trust, I understand Derek’s frustration, especially when CO originally focused on Jessa and Jill, yet the child molester enabling Boob controls the fruits of their labors, so to speak.

[justmissedquiver]

20 hours ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

I wonder if he had Meconium Aspersion. 

It could be any number of things. My little one was in for 2 weeks due to cerebral hemmorrhage that resolved itself.

[frugalitymom]

Finally caught up and this is what I think of all this

1.  My sympathy lies with the boys who didn’t ask for any of this maddness.  Derick is not a stable man and in some aspects I feel for Jill because he is in a sense attacking her parents who she always tried to please.  

2. Sam’s hospital stay could be through no fault of the parents but it is not a stretch to think that a bad decision played a part in it.  Jill wanted the perfect birth so badly but couldn’t get it.  I think she has a lot of guilt for things that she may not be able to control regarding her body’s ability to have a lot of children.   Also wasn’t it Jill that there was a problem with Jubilee and blamed herself for missing something sooner? The details are fuzzy for me.  

[Daisy0322]

In all seriousness does it seem like derek is having a break down?

[socalrules]

I don’t see why TLC should have to pay for Sam’s birth. Reality stars are independent contractors. They don’t get health insurance. If they were regular employees they would get benefits and 401ks but they are not. If Derrick and Jill didn’t have insurance or were under insured, that is their fault. 

TLC usually pays by the family, not the individual. My guess is that even if the money is split evenly there isn’t much to go around. The show isn’t a huge hit. It doesn’t have kardashian, jersey shore or Jon & Kate ratings. Or even 19k & Counting ratings and those were still low compared the the above shows.  They struggled to even get advertisers for Counting On. TLC is likely paying them the bare minimum because they know the Duggars do not have any other options. They aren’t Stars and have nothing to really offer on a show. No one else is going to put them on the air. 

My guess is Derrick likely thought when he married Jill he would never have to work again, could travel the world on TLC’s dime and basically live the sloth life. TLC doesn’t even send the family on trips anymore unless it’s a honeymoon and his was the cheapest one. 

[VelociRapture]

21 minutes ago, frugalitymom said:

Finally caught up and this is what I think of all this

1.  My sympathy lies with the boys who didn’t ask for any of this maddness.  Derick is not a stable man and in some aspects I feel for Jill because he is in a sense attacking her parents who she always tried to please.  

2. Sam’s hospital stay could be through no fault of the parents but it is not a stretch to think that a bad decision played a part in it.  Jill wanted the perfect birth so badly but couldn’t get it.  I think she has a lot of guilt for things that she may not be able to control regarding her body’s ability to have a lot of children.   Also wasn’t it Jill that there was a problem with Jubilee and blamed herself for missing something sooner? The details are fuzzy for me.  

I believe Jill had already started her midwife studies when her mom announced her pregnancy with Jubilee. Jill had used the Doppler on her Mom just a week or less before Jubilee died. They heard her heart beating and nothing seemed wrong. Michelle has mentioned that Jill did take Jubilee’s loss pretty hard though, so I honestly hope Jill doesn’t feel any guilt over this. 

8 minutes ago, socalrules said:

I don’t see why TLC should have to pay for Sam’s birth. Reality stars are independent contractors. They don’t get health insurance. If they were regular employees they would get benefits and 401ks but they are not. If Derrick and Jill didn’t have insurance or were under insured, that is their fault. 

TLC usually pays by the family, not the individual. My guess is that even if the money is split evenly there isn’t much to go around. The show isn’t a huge hit. It doesn’t have kardashian, jersey shore or Jon & Kate ratings. Or even 19k & Counting ratings and those were still low compared the the above shows.  They struggled to even get advertisers for Counting On. TLC is likely paying them the bare minimum because they know the Duggars do not have any other options. They aren’t Stars and have nothing to really offer on a show. No one else is going to put them on the air. 

My guess is Derrick likely thought when he married Jill he would never have to work again, could travel the world on TLC’s dime and basically live the sloth life. TLC doesn’t even send the family on trips anymore unless it’s a honeymoon and his was the cheapest one. 

Jill’s international trip was going to Nepal to meet Derick in person. That’s very likely why they had a smaller and private honeymoon in North Carolina. Had the Nepal trip not happened then I think they would have had the typical private local honeymoon followed by a filmed international trip somewhere that most of her siblings had.

[SassyPants]

14 minutes ago, VelociRapture said:

Jill's international trip was going to Nepal to meet Derick in person. That’s very likely why they had a smaller and private honeymoon in North Carolina. Had the Nepal trip not happened then I think they would have had the typical private local honeymoon followed by a filmed international trip somewhere that most of her siblings had.

Plus, Derick was a new employee and likely did not have the paid "time off" accrued from his job to take a long, international honeymoon.

[Whatthefundie]

2 hours ago, sableduck said:

Even though we had decent private health insurance, my son’s NICU stay cost us quite a lot.  We had the deductible and co-pays.  In our state he was one ounce over the birthweight that would have qualified him for Medicaid.  I sort of would feel the same way as Derrick—TLC made a lot of money on this birth and they can’t help us with the overwhelming expenses? Even though rationally I know that’s not how it works, I think I’d feel a touch resentful too.

I personally don’t think he’s lying about not getting money from TLC.  I am sure the check is a lump sum for every episode into a trust, and JB isn’t doling it out. That’s “family money,” not Jill or Jessa or Jinger money.  I grew up QF and even know I see patriarchs trying desperately to retain control of their adult children, including economically.

ETA: I also am not entirely convinced he was referring to TLC.  I know that seems to be the consensus, but, honestly, gossip in the ATI world I’m tangentially part of is that Derick and his in-laws have some major issues.  The people I know who are two degrees connected to the Duggars believe he’s actually referring to his in-laws making a ton of money to the family trust off that episode and not helping to pay any of the hospital expenses.

There have been recent pictures of Jill at the TTH, and Derick is also present in the recent picture taken at Josh’s birthday party. I do feel bad for Jill, she will probably never leave him since they have a covenant marriage, and if Anna didn’t leave Josh I doubt Jill will leave Derick. All of the sisters looked up to Anna when she stayed with Josh, so Jilly muffin can’t leave Derick just for being an asshole. 

[Cleopatra7]

The libertarian alt-Jesus policies that Derick claims to support are finally having an effect on him. The entire reason why the “reality” TV genre has flourished is because it’s so cheap, since you don’t have to pay unionized actors or writers. Most aspiring reality stars are content to just have the opportunity to be on TV and have fifteen minutes of fame and are easily placated with small salaries when compared to those of unionized actors. Theoretically, this is what the alt-Jesus people want: “right to work” laws, workers having little say in what they are paid or what they do, and all bargaining power in the hands of employers. Billy Graham, for example, was notoriously anti-union and said that workers should just work an honest days’ labor and not stir up trouble. Now Derick is having to actually experience what it’s like to be a disposable worker with little rights and he doesn’t like it. I doubt he’ll change his views though, since he’ll just blame the “liberal media” for oppressing him.