Jinjer 36: Post-millennial Pregnancy

[front hugs > duggs]

When my mom married my dad, her first and last name matched my dads grandmother. He hated his grandmother, but luckily that didn’t interfere with him marrying my mom or I wouldn’t be here today  

[AlwaysExcited]

I have a rare surname, but I share my name and surname combo with great-grandmother and great-great-many greats-grandmother from mid-19th century. I was not named after either of them, my parents actually forgot  great-grandmother's name (to be fair, she went by nickname her whole life).
My dad's relatives just assumed that my name was to honor her, and 24 years later nobody has been brave enough to tell them the truth.  

[choochoo]

12 hours ago, tabitha2 said:

My first name is unisex after a very famous dead comedian and my last apparently is made up. It’s nowhere to be found anywhere outside people related to me. 

My married last name is also shortened/made up and doesn't appear anywhere besides our family.

[tabitha2]

7 minutes ago, choochoo said:

My married last name is also shortened/made up and doesn't appear anywhere besides our family.

 Best guess with ours is a Scottish name got FUBAR’d Along but yet also sounds very French if you pronounce it the ways it’s spelled. Not to mention it’s also has Many Thai connections.

[Seculardaisy]

8 hours ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Back to JinJer... Jeremy has an Instagram Live on his Instagram Story. 

 

People on FJ a month or so ago: "Jeremy probably doesn't even care that much about being Italian it's just something TLC probably focuses on about him."

Jeremy on his instagram live video: "We have our Italian lights hanging up."

 

I'm going to go ahead and say Jeremy is in fact the one who pushes the Jeremy is Italian narrative on TLC. Italian lights? What does that even mean? 

[lizzybee]

On 2/3/2018 at 8:58 AM, Yaoichan12 said:

My sister was my mom's first (I was second and last). Was told mom was about a week late over her due date when she finally went into labor. Sister's heart rate kept dropping but docs wouldn't do a c-section. I don't know how long exactly mom was  in labor for, but I know it was long. Sister came out small (5ish lbs) and had the cord wrapped around her neck tight. She is intellectually disabled with an IQ less than 70. Grammy still fusses about the incompetent docs who should've done a c-section instead. This was '88.

This happened to my brother-in-law as well (early 80's). He is also intellectually disabled from a similar birth experience. There are a lot of things he can do and does well. He's married to my husband's sister, works a full time job and has a better retirement plan than all of us, but he's completely illiterate and my SIL has to do a lot of things for him that you'd typically expect someone to be capable of, like making themselves tea with hot water and a tea bag, controlling the volume of his voice, or knowing when it's appropriate to say something and when it isn't. 

[JoiseyGoil]

Has this been posted in the thread yet? It is flawed, but maybe Jeremy recognizes the emotional manipulation and abuse that the man in this convo projects onto his girlfriend. A better response would probably be to call 911 on him to either help him in his crisis or teach him a lesson not to threaten to kill himself. She should also get help and get as far away from him as possible.

 

[NakedKnees]

12 hours ago, JoiseyGoil said:

Has this been posted in the thread yet? It is flawed, but maybe Jeremy recognizes the emotional manipulation and abuse that the man in this convo projects onto his girlfriend. A better response would probably be to call 911 on him to either help him in his crisis or teach him a lesson not to threaten to kill himself. She should also get help and get as far away from him as possible.

 

I agree with your assessment, and that is interesting. I do wonder how he would view the exact same situation but within a married couple. All the stay-with-an-abusive-man craziness in the Duggar fundie cult seems to really focus on married couples. 

[viii]

It's sad how many Christians believe that there can't be abuse in a marriage. When my best friend was having issues with her husband, her pastor told her that there's no such thing as verbal abuse between a husband and wife, and unless the husband hit her, it would be a sin for her to leave him. They eventually split after she went in for a pre-natal appointment with her third child and found out she had an STD. 

Thankfully the pastor has since met with her and profusely apologized for his bad advice and said he's learned a lot since then. 

[0kids&counting]

Longtime lurker here. :-)

Wanted to share that I was creeping Google image search this weekend for Jinger fashion inspiration.

My friend and I are going to Egypt for a week in April and were planning to dress modestly but also don't want to be frumpy....and I figured Jinger pre jeans would be a good research subject.  It's gonna be hottttt and I'm going to try and avoid jeans and leggings.  I'm hoping to recreate a few of her outfits ;-)

[CorruptionInc.]

Jeremy agreeing with "do nothing" is disgraceful. 

[singsingsing]

3 minutes ago, CorruptionInc. said:

Jeremy agreeing with "do nothing" is disgraceful. 

What should the woman in question do?

[Gillyweed]

10 minutes ago, CorruptionInc. said:

Jeremy agreeing with "do nothing" is disgraceful. 

I assume they mean "do nothing" i.e. don't date the guy

[Rosalie]

32 minutes ago, 0kids&counting said:

Longtime lurker here. :-)

Wanted to share that I was creeping Google image search this weekend for Jinger fashion inspiration.

My friend and I are going to Egypt for a week in April and were planning to dress modestly but also don't want to be frumpy....and I figured Jinger pre jeans would be a good research subject.  It's gonna be hottttt and I'm going to try and avoid jeans and leggings.  I'm hoping to recreate a few of her outfits ;-)

When in Egypt, and not in the resort, I prefer to wear harem pants, as they give complete cover and show no curves when needed, but can be turned into wide capris b/c of the elastic band in the bottom. On top I wear a singlet with a tunic or wide blouse in thin fabric. I also always carry a scarf in my bag, so I can cover my hear if needed or if the egypt men get too intimidating.

Be aware that w/o male companions, you will not be able to walk freely in the streets, and most of the (male) salesmen will not let you bargain on their prizes, unless you speak fluent arabic. I actually wish the resorts, and hotels in the big cities, had male chaperones you could rent.

Edit: At the resort, we dress as at home. Bikini and the beach, singlet at short skirt on the way to and from, and in the restaurants.

[0kids&counting]

1 hour ago, Rosalie said:

Be aware that w/o male companions, you will not be able to walk freely in the streets, and most of the (male) salesmen will not let you bargain on their prizes, unless you speak fluent arabic. I actually wish the resorts, and hotels in the big cities, had male chaperones you could rent.

Thanks for the advice :-).  I'm going to look into those pants. It'll be 2.5ish days in Cairo and 4ish on a Nile cruise from Aswan to Luxor.

I've been to 35 countries, a lot of them by myself, and this will be the first time that I'm doing an organized tour (my female friend is also going). I've read too much about Cairo and aggressive men on the streets...so we felt more comfortable in a tour.  It's very hard for me to relinquish independence and rely on a male egyptologist...but I know that's just the way it is.

[Jigsaw3]

In Egypt, I had no problems bargaining on my own in English, but I was in souks that either catered to the tourist trade or saw enough foreigners to know English. I didn't feel I needed a MALE chaperone but I did feel a lot more comfortable with a companion, male or female. I went with a female friend and there was a single woman our age on our tour, and she ended up spending a lot of time with us as we all felt more comfortable not alone. We had no problems exploring Luxor or Alexandria or Cairo in a pair or a group of three women with no men, even if it wasn't a tourist area. I did run a few errands on my own and would stop in the souk at a stall on my own, but with the group nearby. I always ditched the group when visiting sites and museums but obviously those are very touristy and access-controlled areas! My friend and I went out in a commercial area in Alexandria at night along with all the Egyptian families and felt very welcome; we felt less safe on the beach during the day, as that's really a man's zone. We did use the women-only cars on Cairene subways and Alexandrian trams and would recommend them.  (This was about ten years ago.)

I would definitely agree with light long-sleeved tops and full-length pants or skirts; the single woman tried shorts once and never again. Headscarves weren't necessary for modesty, but were helpful on sunny days. Hotel pools were fine with western swimwear, although bikinis might be a step too far. The beach resorts were also fine with western swimwear but explicitly prohibited toplessness (which didn't stop a fair amount of Europeans from letting the nipple roam free.)

Basically, trust your instincts and don't travel on your own, but I'd recommend than in any city you don't know.

[nausicaa]

3 hours ago, Rosalie said:

Be aware that w/o male companions, you will not be able to walk freely in the streets, and most of the (male) salesmen will not let you bargain on their prizes, unless you speak fluent arabic. I actually wish the resorts, and hotels in the big cities, had male chaperones you could rent.

To offer a counterpoint here: I went to Egypt for ten days as a young, very non-Arab looking woman alone  and had no problems. I always walked freely in the streets, went shopping, out to eat, toured sites, and took taxis by myself unmolested. I do wonder where these stories of women absolutely not being allowed to do things come from. I am a grown woman and do not need, or want, a "chaperone."

I also bargained on prices  while speaking only bits and pieces of Arabic. I do remember my taxi dropping me off in front of a museum and the young male felucca drivers rushing my taxi, but it was because they were competing to sell a ride to me, not because they were hitting on me. 

A few people told me my hair was beautiful, and one guy shouted "Welcome to Egypt American Lady!" in a crowd. That was about it. As with a lot of Middle Eastern countries, you have to deal with pushy salespeople and know when to set boundaries, but that is necessary for travel in a lot of places. 

As for clothes, I wore jeans with a loose knee length dress on top, flat sandals, and a light jacket. It was February when I went and I don't remember being too warm. I also carried a scarf in case of going into a mosque. 

2 hours ago, 0kids&counting said:

TI've been to 35 countries, a lot of them by myself, and this will be the first time that I'm doing an organized tour (my female friend is also going). I've read too much about Cairo and aggressive men on the streets...so we felt more comfortable in a tour.  It's very hard for me to relinquish independence and rely on a male egyptologist...but I know that's just the way it is.

I'm not saying you need to cancel the tour, but if you want to go off and do something on your own you'll probably be fine. If you've done 35 countries you know the drill: be on guard, don't be too friendly, watch your wallet, set boundaries if someone else get too friendly. And ftr, I felt safer in Cairo than I do in Washington D.C. at night.

I remember reading these freaking horror stories before going about how men would follow me into bathrooms and grab me on the street. I nearly canceled my trip. Thankfully I didn't, and seriously, nothing happened. There's so many tourists there, it's like Paris. Yeah, you might get hit on, but you also probably will in NYC too.

[Rosalie]

It has become much worse being a woman in Egypt the last 15 years, escalating after the «Arab Spring». I think it’s such a shame, b/c I love the country and it’s history.

[Bethella]

I've never been to Egypt but when my aunt and cousin went (just before the Arab Spring), they both wore thin gold "wedding" rings. I don't know if it would help with harassment but my aunt said she used "but my husband said I couldn't spend that much" as a bargaining line. 

[FundieCentral]

My friend and her sister somehow ended up in a bidding war for camels while in Egypt. At the time, the “rate” for a European virgin was 22 (or something in that range) camels apparently. But she was only 10 or so, so she was only 19 camels because she was too young for marriage, and her sister (at 13) the full amount - that stung. She still remembers.

Random anecdotes  

[jakesykora]

6 hours ago, Bethella said:

I've never been to Egypt but when my aunt and cousin went (just before the Arab Spring), they both wore thin gold "wedding" rings. I don't know if it would help with harassment but my aunt said she used "but my husband said I couldn't spend that much" as a bargaining line. 

After my first trip (when I was both very young and obviously a westerner) I've done that anytime I've been in the Middle East / North Africa / Gulf since and it's been tremendously helpful (both in limiting being pestered and as Bethella mentioned, as an 'out' for almost anything, prices shopping included)

I still had two marriage 'proposals' on one trip - one by someone working the immigration counter in DXB and the other on the flight on to DOH (by some ridiculously high up guy who thought I'd be wooed by his title/power/money it seemed) but a holding up my hand in a sort of 'I'm taken' shut down any further attempts at conversation (and thankfully the guy in immigration had already returned my passport prior and made his attempt as I was heading to walk away) - but that helped immensely compared to experiences on the earliest trip!

[mydoggoskeeper]

I travel overseas several times a year and I always bring a ring that when turned around, looks like a gold wedding band.  

Its tremendously sad that some men only respect other men enough not to harass women and not women themselves. 

[Rosalie]

Btw: Very jealous of the trip to Egypt... Was planning trip to Egypt in March, but got laid off from work, so this year’s winter vacation is called off. Going to Berlin in March, though, so I’ll survive. 

 

[libgirl2]

On 2/5/2018 at 2:23 PM, viii said:

It's sad how many Christians believe that there can't be abuse in a marriage. When my best friend was having issues with her husband, her pastor told her that there's no such thing as verbal abuse between a husband and wife, and unless the husband hit her, it would be a sin for her to leave him. They eventually split after she went in for a pre-natal appointment with her third child and found out she had an STD. 

Thankfully the pastor has since met with her and profusely apologized for his bad advice and said he's learned a lot since then. 

My best friend is studying to be a pastor. She has to work on "case scenarios" for counseling. 

[Knight of Ni]

A past boyfriend would threaten to harm himself or kill himself when we would have disagreements or he thought I was ignoring him. It took a little while to understand how toxic it was. That person should leave immediately. It was used as a control and guilt tactic on me. “You made me have to hurt myself”.