Lori Alexander 37: Practicing Medicine Without a License

[Sarah92]

The irony of Lori saying that a comment is mostly lies with just enough truth to sound biblical.... I had a friend say the exact same about her. 

[EowynW]

She deleted the comment of a woman saying that just because you were a woman didn't mean you had to automatically love pregnancy and babies. This women went on to say she immensely disliked both her pregnancies, was relieved once her childbearing years were over, and wasn't a fan of the baby and toddler stages but really loved the more independent years. Lori gave her the boot. Bitch. 

[kpmom]

Well now hold on here.

The Queen and the "mathematician" (apparently no need for first names for women in Loriland) did not live their lives according to what God Lori has commanded and yet she believes they're in heaven?

So, why any need for all this submission crap? 

[Free Jana Duggar]

1 hour ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Eric is looking forward to partying in heaven with Lori and Ken. 

 

Umm, you're wrong Eric. A husband does not take his wife's sins on his shoulders nor does he answer for them. Just as the wife is not responsible for her husband's soul.  We will all kneel before God and answer for ourselves.

 

[delphinium65]

1 hour ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

Umm, you're wrong Eric. A husband does not take his wife's sins on his shoulders nor does he answer for them. Just as the wife is not responsible for her husband's soul.  We will all kneel before God and answer for ourselves.

 

This.  It irritates me to no end when a husband thinks he's responsible for everything his wife does.  Years ago my ex felt he had to make restitution for something I did.  At the time I couldn't get him to see reason, that he didn't have to 'fix' something he had nothing to do with!  I dropped off some things at a Goodwill dropbox, saw something that someone else had dropped off (a board game), and picked it up.  Never mind whether I should have done it or not, whether he was being nitpicky, or I was doing something wrong, he was NOT responsible for my actions!  He went into the thrift store, told them what I did, and insisted on giving them money to cover the item.  

[Hisey]

7 minutes ago, delphinium65 said:

This.  It irritates me to no end when a husband thinks he's responsible for everything his wife does.  Years ago my ex felt he had to make restitution for something I did.  At the time I couldn't get him to see reason, that he didn't have to 'fix' something he had nothing to do with!  I dropped off some things at a Goodwill dropbox, saw something that someone else had dropped off (a board game), and picked it up.  Never mind whether I should have done it or not, whether he was being nitpicky, or I was doing something wrong, he was NOT responsible for my actions!  He went into the thrift store, told them what I did, and insisted on giving them money to cover the item.  

What? That is treating you like a child.

[delphinium65]

Just now, Hisey said:

What? That is treating you like a child.

EXACTLY!  That's why it bothered me, and he simply could not understand that! 

[kpmom]

8 minutes ago, delphinium65 said:

EXACTLY!  That's why it bothered me, and he simply could not understand that! 

I see why he is your ex.

My husband is 9 years older than I am and early in our marriage he tried to be a father figure (unwittingly, I think) a couple of times.  Nothing horrible, just telling me how to handle  situations that I knew perfectly well how to handle.  I told him to cut it out and he's been pretty good about it since.

But, if he kept it up it would have been an issue, and maybe the end, of our marriage.

[ViolaSebastian]

If God didn’t want Queen Victoria to be queen, surely He could have fixed the rampant infertility and premature deaths of dozens of people who had to die/not reproduce for her to get to the crown. He also could have, you know, made her male. 

[delphinium65]

14 minutes ago, kpmom said:

I see why he is your ex.

My husband is 9 years older than I am and early in our marriage he tried to be a father figure (unwittingly, I think) a couple of times.  Nothing horrible, just telling me how to handle  situations that I knew perfectly well how to handle.  I told him to cut it out and he's been pretty good about it since.

But, if he kept it up it would have been an issue, and maybe the end, of our marriage.

In itself it was a minor incident, a small thing, but it was part of a larger pattern.  He did this type of thing a lot, usually less obvious, but making it clear that he was the 'adult' of the family, that my opinions only counted when they confirmed his, and everything that happened was ultimately his responsibility.  He said I was overreacting, and on that specific occasion I may have been, but eventually the principle turned out to be worth fighting for. 

[ViolaSebastian]

1 hour ago, delphinium65 said:

In itself it was a minor incident, a small thing, but it was part of a larger pattern.  He did this type of thing a lot, usually less obvious, but making it clear that he was the 'adult' of the family, that my opinions only counted when they confirmed his, and everything that happened was ultimately his responsibility.  He said I was overreacting, and on that specific occasion I may have been, but eventually the principle turned out to be worth fighting for. 

I am so sorry. I also went through this with my ex-husband. Paternal sexism is terrible, and can be very insidious. 

[AuntKrazy]

My husband is a professor and has a tendency to drift into "lecture mode".  I simply tell him "you are lecturing again instead of having a conversation with me".  He will immediately stop, apologize, and reengage with the conversation, normally by asking for me to respond.  Sometimes he will ask me to tell him how or where he drifted into lecture mode because he wants to see what he's doing and learn to do better.  I know that he does not mean to patronize; a lot of it is habit from his employment!  He genuinely wants connection with me.

But if I were submissive & silent in the way Lori advocates, I would never have spoken up about it and helped him grow beyond that style and be better equipped to form connections not just with me, but with other people.  Imho, that is what being a "helpmeet" is about - being a true partner who uplifts the other and helps them become their best self.  When I tell him he is drifting into lecture mode - it is not a criticism or judgment but an invitation into something better.  Just like when he reaches out and indicates that I am retreating into my own head and he'd really like to know what I am thinking.  He helps me be a better me too.  

Lori's advice on marriage seems to seek to make it so much less than that.  Surviving together in the midst of uncommunicated anger and strife is not a recipe for a quality life or marriage.  There is so much more to life than survival.  There is so much more to marriage than simple survival; and I am inspired by those of you who were brave enough to walk away knowing that you are worth so much more than what you had.  It's because of people like you all that I had the courage to wait for the right partner and did not rush into the misery that Lori advocates.

[EowynW]

Now Lori is claiming that Eve "convinced" Adam to sin. 

[Frog99]

@AuntKrazy a dear friend is married to a prison guard. When he first started, he has a tendency to come home and bark commands and speak in a tone that exerted authority. He of course complied because he is a loving, caring husband. 

 

[Destiny]

2 minutes ago, EowynW said:

Now Lori is claiming that Eve "convinced" Adam to sin. 

Is that not a common Christian belief? Honest question, because that was a teaching I grew up with, and it was used as part of the reason women were "lesser" (but not really somehow) than men. It's a fundamental belief for why women weren't allowed to preach and all in my experience. 

I know I was raised fundie, but I thought this was a christian belief in general. 

[Frog99]

This comment irks me. My husband doesn’t baby sit our children- he parents them. I don’t have to cook his dinner because he’s a capable adult male. He gets his own clothes together and usually does his own laundry (and family/kid laundry)- he doesn’t typically do mine but that’s because I often air dry a lot of my work clothes. He’s also capable of taking our kids to various sporting and extracurricular events. I certainly will do his laundry or other things because I don’t mind helping- but if I were expected to do these things regularly, I would think of him as another child, as a weakling- and I certainly wouldn’t be attracted to him.  IMO, real men handle whatever needs to be done, without regard to role expectations.  

[louisa05]

5 minutes ago, Destiny said:

Is that not a common Christian belief? Honest question, because that was a teaching I grew up with, and it was used as part of the reason women were "lesser" (but not really somehow) than men. It's a fundamental belief for why women weren't allowed to preach and all in my experience. 

I know I was raised fundie, but I thought this was a christian belief in general. 

No. I was taught in Catholic school that Adam made his own choice because we are all responsible for our own sin. Even if Eve suggested it, Adam had his own free will and chose to listen to her and disobey God. 

It is a belief that has been perpetuated to help advance/maintain patriarchy. 

[Emilycharlotte]

44 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

No. I was taught in Catholic school that Adam made his own choice because we are all responsible for our own sin. Even if Eve suggested it, Adam had his own free will and chose to listen to her and disobey God. 

It is a belief that has been perpetuated to help advance/maintain patriarchy. 

I was taught the same, and I grew up Baptist and went to a Presbyterian college. I've never heard the belief about women being to blame, being more easily deceived, etc., at any church I've attended.

[Koala]

1 hour ago, EowynW said:

Now Lori is claiming that Eve "convinced" Adam to sin. 

Which is ironic, because she goes on to say:

Quote

We are definitely easier to deceive and be taken advantage of as Eve proved.

Well, if Eve "convinced" him to sin, it sounds like he was pretty easily deceived too.   

Lori is just....not smart.  But, I get it.  I understand that she falls for every bit of woo bullshit posted to the internet.  I get that she's probably easily deceived,  takes pride in the fact that she didn't learn anything in college, and still doesn't "learn" anything that doesn't serve to confirm what she already believes to be true.

What I don't get, is why she can't seem to accept that not all women embrace being dumb as if it's a lifestyle choice or an honorable goal.  

Look, when Ken was here, we had him tripping all over himself.  He thought he'd wander in here and straighten all of us feeble minded women out, and maybe pick up a few phone numbers or addresses in the process. 

FAIL.  He got his ass handed to him.  He was shown (in quotes) that what he was saying was patently untrue.  He made himself look silly, insisting Lori would never say _________.   Except she did.  Insisting that they parented a certain way (when Lori has clearly said they didn't).  She sent him in here blind.  I honestly don't think he'd paid much attention to her blog before that point, because he came off as completely ignorant of what she'd been up to.

No one would have argued that he had the upper hand.  It was a joke.

Finally, Lori argues that women are easily deceived, but who pulled off the biggest deception in the marriage?  That's right, it was LORI.  Lori tricked Ken by sabotaging her birth control.  WHY?  Because she "always got her way", and she wanted to stay home and...."rest".  So yeah...there's that.

[Sarah92]

I suspect that she's a serial projector. She projects what she's struggling with onto others. And those with low self- stem and no biblical education get caught up in it. It's so toxic. It's not very uplifting either.

Honestly, I've seen some amazing Facebook communities where people seem to genuinely care for strangers they've never met. Even here has some pretty great  community. But her page has basically zero community which I find strange. Very little interaction between comments. 

[Beermeet]

5 hours ago, louisa05 said:

No. I was taught in Catholic school that Adam made his own choice because we are all responsible for our own sin. Even if Eve suggested it, Adam had his own free will and chose to listen to her and disobey God. 

It is a belief that has been perpetuated to help advance/maintain patriarchy. 

I grew up Catholic but didn't go to Catholic school. I did "relgion" ( That's just what it was called.  Like: "you have religion this Saturday remember?") I know there is a word for that but I can't remember right now!  Anyway, I feel like I grew up with the notion that Eve was responsible for Adam's; and therefore all of humanity's downfall.  We didn't talk about it much at home at all, socially more?  I dunno.  It was just there.  Never your much better realistic teaching on the subject.

[Frog99]

So does anyone else’s think today’s post is a passive aggressive jab at Alyssa? In her post she suggests that if you clean your home you won’t need to go to the gym for exercise. 

Also, Alyssa’s instastory has a pic of Lori’s Mom. I know that sick people often don’t look sick, and looks can certainly be deceiving. But she does not look as bad as what Lori tries to suggest. She doesn’t look  anything like what I think of when someone says “my sick, old, dying mother”. 

[Sarah92]

First of all I don't think the dailymail is particularly reliable. The fact that it's so loaded down with ads on its mobile site that I could barely read the article was annoying. I also didn't see a link to the main research article so there's that too. Anyways...

Reading comprehension is a thing. This doesn't necessarily seem to say it's because women are made for it but rather women just do it more so it has a positive effect. If the activities were flipped I wonder if it would have the same result. Also it doesn't help Lori's point because a ton of women garden. And if the only thing I was doing was cleaning my apartment I'd definitely not be getting much exercise lol. 

[TeddyBonkers]

I look back fondly at my Lutheran Catechism classes, where we learned that our original sin is referred to as the "old Adam". It isn't the OLD EVE! 

What does such baptizing with water mean?
Such baptizing with water means that the old Adam in us should, by daily contrition and repentance, be drowned and die with all sins and evil lusts; and that a new man daily come forth and arise, who shall live before God in righteousness and purity forever.

[AuntKrazy]

17 hours ago, Destiny said:

Is that not a common Christian belief? Honest question, because that was a teaching I grew up with, and it was used as part of the reason women were "lesser" (but not really somehow) than men. It's a fundamental belief for why women weren't allowed to preach and all in my experience. 

I know I was raised fundie, but I thought this was a christian belief in general. 

In my theological studies (at an evangelical seminary), this would be an emphatic "no" with regard to theology proper.  But there is a LOT of "bad theology" out there in churches; especially those that do not value theological education for pastors.

We were taught that Adam merited a harsher punishment/responsibility than Eve because he (1) was told directly not to do it.  (2) He witnessed Eve's rebellion, and (3) He chose to disobey anyway.   Anything about Eve actively persuading him is an argument from silence.   We were taught to stick to what is written and resist the urge to make up explanations to fill in gaps.