Dillards 44: Still Pretending to Missionary to College Students

[Percy]

15 minutes ago, marmalade said:

And they took one of the planes to Branson (a 26 minute flight). What a fucking waste. 

Maybe one of the boys was trying to get their flight hours up, a bit like learner drivers.

I swear the 6 minute trip between home and the local shops accounted for at least half daughter number 2's 120 hours required for her driving license. 

[Shadoewolf]

Mandatory counseling is first, I think it's 6 months with a LICENSED professional. If that fails then grounds have to be stated. Grounds are adultery, felony, physical or sexual abuse of a child, or live apart for 2.5 years. 

[FleeJanaFree]

Jill would never leave him. 

[DarkAnts]

I have wondered if Derick had problems with anti discrimination policies at Walmart. His tweets make it sound like he has no filter or ability to be PC. 

[SorenaJ]

My reaction to Derek being cut from TLC: Hahahahahahahaha learn it you little shit

[calimojo]

Jill may not leave Derick, but Derick could leave Jill.  I don't wish that to happen, but I don't think I would be terribly surprised.  Derick doesn't seem to fit into the family, he doesn't seem to want a traditional family life, and he doesn't seem overly invested in being a provider for his family.  I think he gets bored easily and I think his self discipline is lacking. 

I could see him taking longer and longer mission trips and leaving Jill behind to keep the home fires burning.  And I think, based on his many tweets about adultery, and temptation, that he may be tempted by sins of the flesh. 

 

I agree with an above poster that this may have really stung Jill.  She was always a darling of the show.  Lots of Talking Heads and featured heavily on the show for most of her life.  She seemed to be one of the most comfortable on camera and certainly wasn't shy.  So, if the family is tense with Derick, and the show is tense with Derick that is probably not comfortable for Jill.  And if she is still recovering from a traumatic birth, that is a lot to take in. 

Hopefully JB and M and the rest of the clan, can separate their misgivings about Derick from how they feel about Jill.  Hopefully they are supportive of her, even if they are angry, or disappointed with her husband. 

And hopefully the other unmarried kids will see this matchmaking mess by their dad and opt out of having daddy pick out their future spouses.

[Sky with diamonds]

22 minutes ago, DarkAnts said:

I have wondered if Derick had problems with anti discrimination policies at Walmart. His tweets make it sound like he has no filter or ability to be PC. 

Derick lacks compassion, tact and understanding. It boggles my mind he wanted to work as a missionary...and he still does.  I don't think he is cut out for it. 

[meee]

I kind of feel like the "best case scenario" as far as the Duggars and their brand, and Jill's life, are concerned for be for Derick to divorce Jill and the rest of them to throw Derick under the bus. Jill could return to the show starring as a poor abandoned wife whose husband was led astray by Satan and - would she be allowed to remarry? Regardless, she'd have a different (and more interesting/varied) storyline than endless babies, and maybe with the support of her family (since they could help with the homeschooling etc.), she could go back to school and finish the midwife stuff.  Or even be a far more empathetic "missionary" to single mothers and the like (the kind that offers help and such, I mean, not the kind that looks down on them).

[eveandadam]

I found this:

it does not look like they could get a divorce if he leaves for a year in a covenant marriage. Poor Jill...

 

https://www.arlegalservices.org/files/FSCovenantMarriage.pdf

 

This actually sounds like hell to me. you can only divorce your husband if you've lived separately for 2 years? And what if he doesn't want to live separately? Then you cannot get divorced???

[Timetraveler]

I sort of feel for Jill, and yes I know she is an adult and a mother, and responsible for two little boys. But still, all of her options now are...not that great;

- staying with Derick

- Derick leaving her/separating from him, and her probably ending up being treated unkindly or differently by the fundie community because of her failed marriage, 'damaged goods', etc. 

- leaving the cult and breaking with her family, without a proper education/job (which will never happen ofcourse) 

I do feel a bit sorry for her honestly.

[Lurky]

I'm with @nickelodeon that I'll wait to see if TLC kicked him off until I see proof.  It actually seems win-win for him if Jill carries on, and gets a paycheck, and Derick doesn't have to work, AND can do a holier-than-thou thing about how he's not seeking fame.

Of course I really want it to be a consequence of his arseholery, but I don't have high hopes of TLC. 

It's not really surprising that TLC hasn't featured them, because the cast is continually expanding, and for such a low-production-value show as CO, it's hard to wrangle that many characters and keep people caring.   I wouldn't be surprised if it was nothing about the transphobia, and more about adding Kendra and Austin and so dropping others.  

What really pisses me off if Jill is still in it is that the Duggars still get to have that smug hypocrisy that women shouldn't work for money, and yet here are all their daughters appearing on TV for filthy lucre!   But no, they're all Stay At Home Moms, or daughters, it doesn't count!    That really grinds my gears.

[12 Hungry Safety Pins]

Derick is such a hypocrite! 

Where exactly does it say in the bible

Quote

Thou shallst speak out against abominations only AFTER thou losest thy paycheck!

???

 

[SongRed7]

5 hours ago, Bugaboo said:

Wow, Jill on pants! I think I'll be more shocked the day one of the girls cuts their hair in a pixie cut! I wish Jinger would. 

Even just a nice long bob type haircut.  It could still be longish...but just not stringy and flyaway.  You could still put it in braids and pony tails and such.    Just hack off 12 inches and it would be totally liberating.

 

[SapphireSlytherin]

6 hours ago, KnittingOwl said:

On the plus side, if Derick is gone for a year, Jill can't get pregnant again. 

Welllllll, theoretically, she COULD. But that would be a scandal of EPIC proportions and worthy of pages and pages of National Enquirer/People coverage.

FreeJinger would need new, higher-capacity servers.

LOL

[Eternalbluepearl]

I don't understand why Derick wouldn't just have a job and then volunteer his time helping others on his free time? It would make him look a lot better if he was volunteering somewhere on the weekends rather than trying to make missions trips his full time job. Don't the Duggars have PR people that can explain this to Derick and Jill? People with reality shows, access to private planes, cosmetic dentistry, and gorgeous homes don't ask for handouts. They volunteer their time and skills to a cause for free. Geez. It's not that hard. We've never even seen that Derick has a skill he's wanting to use to bless others. He's not a doctor looking to provide medical care, he's not a builder looking to improve infrastructure, he's not a teacher looking to educate, etc. He doesn't seem very qualified for the "missions" job he's trying so hard to make work. There is something about all of this that doesn't seem like he's wanting to help others for the sake of helping others. If that were the case, because Jesus is so important to him, I'd think he'd be at a homeless shelter on Saturdays after working all week not planning his next free trip to an exotic locale.  (I'm sorry this is so long.)

[Markie]

I imagine Jill will have a sister, perhaps Jenny, stay with her and the boys when Derick is away on his missions. Jill could teach Jenny how to take care of babies since her SOTDRT isn't important and it is all online practise pages anyway. 

I seriously hope that the Duggar fans think twice about contributing to Derick's Gofundme page. Is this a normal thing. Do a lot of the Cross Church students have gofundme pages? Wonder if they are just as mean on social media but do not have such a large following as Derick? 

[nastyhobbitses]

4 hours ago, DarkAnts said:

I have wondered if Derick had problems with anti discrimination policies at Walmart. His tweets make it sound like he has no filter or ability to be PC. 

Yeah, I'd imagine HR would have had a field day with him if he had any LGBT co-workers. Or even straight-as-an-arrow cisgender female co-workers.

[shiverful]

I think it's great that TLC is distancing themselves from Derick. Even if he wanted out it still delivers a clear message to the rest of the Duggars: y'all are not untouchable, even if you think that Jesus is on your side. 

If the family still wants to be tv stars, and their lifestyle (marrying young, have lots of kids, living on one, if any, income) clearly suggests that they do, they will have to stop preaching hate. 

 

[Mayluka]

I feel like the speculation train has taken off around here and most of it is pretty unfounded...

1. Nowhere does it say that Derick will be leaving on a one-year mission trip. It is a one-year residency program, which means living in the church/school housing and participating in heir events. It sounds like a lot of the ministry will be in Arkansas and the surrounding areas, much like how we've seen them doing campus events with international students.

2. Nowhere does it say that Jill will not be with Derick during the program. In fact, we've seen pictures of Jill at most of these events. Maybe she won't go on the trips abroad, but those will most likely be 1-2 week trips.

3. Nowhere has it been implied that Jill is unhappy with Derick or wants to leave him. We need to remember that Derick is not alone in his beliefs. The rest of the family believes the same things, but just aren't dumb enough to tweet them and risk losing their paycheck. Jill is probably proud of her husband for standing up for what they believe and being a "martyr." The Bible even says in Matthew 10:22, "and you will be hated by all for my name’s sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved." They believe that the criticism Derick is getting is a good thing. Also, I really doubt Jill would leave a husband just because he tweets mean things, when her sister-in-law never left a husband who abused his sisters and was "unfaithful" to her. 

[12 Hungry Safety Pins]

The latest donors :

[nastyhobbitses]

4 hours ago, meee said:

I kind of feel like the "best case scenario" as far as the Duggars and their brand, and Jill's life, are concerned for be for Derick to divorce Jill and the rest of them to throw Derick under the bus. Jill could return to the show starring as a poor abandoned wife whose husband was led astray by Satan and - would she be allowed to remarry? Regardless, she'd have a different (and more interesting/varied) storyline than endless babies, and maybe with the support of her family (since they could help with the homeschooling etc.), she could go back to school and finish the midwife stuff.  Or even be a far more empathetic "missionary" to single mothers and the like (the kind that offers help and such, I mean, not the kind that looks down on them).

Sadly, their smug-ass covenant marriage makes divorce ridiculously hard, and based on the way women are treated in fundie-world, if he leaves her, Jill will be blamed for not "standing by" her husband and "leading him astray" in the relationship. Maybe if she put out more or wasn't so clingy/over-enthusiastic/frumpy, he'd have stayed in the US and not left her. She will be damaged goods as a divorced woman with two kids, and two kids who had traumatic births, which limits how many more she'll be able to pump out.

She can't leave him; that would be reputationally worse for her, and she has zero skills or experience that would net her a decent job that would maintain her lifestyle and be enough for her two small children. And based on what a dick Derick is, I bet that if she went through with divorce proceedings, he would absolutely drag her through the mud, and do some shady, horrible shit to get custody of the kids. Not to raise them or because he's the breadwinner who may be better equipped to give the kids a stable home life, but because he wants to hurt Jill and take something away from her that she cares about.

And if she stays...she's stuck with this asshole who has ruined her one source of income and cares very little for her needs and desires, and doesn't pull his weight in the household.

[LurkerOverThePond]

Cathy, where are your Prayer Warriors now when your son most needs them?

[Irishy]

Ha, try living in Ireland. Divorce only became legal in 1996 and you have to live separately for FOUR YEARS before you can get one. I’m three years and ten months into the process !!

[VelociRapture]

14 hours ago, Knight of Ni said:

The fact that people must resort to go fund me for their medical expenses shows just how messed up the health care system in the United States is. Please correct me if I’m wrong but I do not think that would be necessary in other countries. For example a friend of mine recently posted a page about her husband having cancer. She said she has basically had to sell almost everything she has of value to pay for medical expenses and still needs more. She can’t work so she doesn’t have an employer to provide insurance and her husband is self employed. That’s is all I know of their situation. It is sad that families must resort to such drastic measures for access to healthcare.

It is.

In the situation I mentioned, the young woman will be using the money mostly to pay her mortgage and other normal bills - her insurance should cover most of her medical bills thankfully. Her treatments will last until early next year and her older siblings were very concerned about whether she’d be able to keep working regularly enough to stay on top of things. It’ll also go towards the egg retrieval bills which she had to pay out of pocket because her insurance doesn’t fully cover that stuff (her treatments have a good chance of causing infertility, so the retrieval was done to help ensure she has some sort of chance for biological kids one day.)

 

13 hours ago, BundleofJoy said:

No wonder he needed to start a GoFundMe! 

Well, it appears that harassing TLC about him worked out after all. 

So, when will he stop being featured? Next season? The season after? Immediately because they intend to cancel the entire show? 

Guess which one I’m hoping for?

Also, I’m like, five pages behind. So if you guys don’t see me in a while that’s why. Lol!

[Fun Undies]

^ when it comes to medical insurance and America, I got plenty to say, but for the sake of a lengthy post, I'll just share that with my genetic condition - I'm very lucky to be poor enough (even with my husband working a fulltime job with benefits) to get my weekly infusions covered.  But we've done everything we've could to reduce other costs, since I can't work anymore (I have filed for disability) - sold our house, got rid of 2/3 of our stuff (sold, gave away, trashed), moved in with family (but buying a duplex in the spring with said family).  If you have a chronic condition in this country: good luck, you'll need it!

5 hours ago, Sky with diamonds said:

Derick lacks compassion, tact and understanding. It boggles my mind he wanted to work as a missionary...and he still does.  I don't think he is cut out for it. 

But he's not in it for the humanitarian side of mission work.  The one where you have a Christians* go to another country, and use their skills to help an area (be it education, medical, etc.), and if you have an opportunity to share the "why" with locals, it's in a laid back setting, "I'm here, because I felt compelled to be the hands and feet of Jesus, and I hope I'm honoring Him by what I'm trying to do here - is there something else I can be doing to help meet your needs?"

Derick is over there, visiting with Catholics and being like, "My way of worshiping Jesus is better - so give me money so I can stay here."

*Though I'm fully aware mission work is not carried by Christians alone, I only use it here in comparison to what/why Derick says he's doing it for

2 hours ago, Lurky said:

What really pisses me off if Jill is still in it is that the Duggars still get to have that smug hypocrisy that women shouldn't work for money, and yet here are all their daughters appearing on TV for filthy lucre!   But no, they're all Stay At Home Moms, or daughters, it doesn't count!    That really grinds my gears.

Well JimBob has been saying since the beginning: "We do this as mission work."
So they can tell themselves they are proselytizing to the world, and just *happen* to get a paycheck for it . . . though I'm like 100% they wouldn't sit in front of those cameras for free ~

58 minutes ago, Mayluka said:

The Bible even says in Matthew 10:22, "and you will be hated by all for my name’s sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved." They believe that the criticism Derick is getting is a good thing. Also, I really doubt Jill would leave a husband just because he tweets mean things, when her sister-in-law never left a husband who abused his sisters and was "unfaithful" to her. 

I'm just sharing my thoughts on the Bible quote, not meaning to come off as disagreeing with the statement (because I'm sure that's exactly the one he uses to convince himself he's in the "right") : but everytime I hear that quote, I think back more to Early Christians - the martyr's who were viciously killed once found out, the ones who had to meet in secret, where it really was a matter of life and death to speak His name.  

Derick is a white, cis-gendered, married, Christian in America ~ he's had the privileges that come with those things all his life.  But instead of extending that humbleness (that he insists he's given to Jesus as a "horrible sinner"), to say h-e-l-p those around him, and build up the Kingdom of God here on Earth, with acts of service for e-v-e-r-y-o-n-eeeeeee - he instead tweets about his very limited scope of understanding of the world.  

It is flippin infuriating.

. . . as for TLC dropping Derick, I'm genuinely shocked.  But glad they did.
However wihout the cameras around, I wonder if he'll act even worse to those around him (i.e. Jill)
I don't mean physical abuse, but he certainly seems unstable (I don't know if there's some sort of mental condition, martyr-complex, chronic health issues, or all three).  But I just hope everyone is safe.