Dillards 44: Still Pretending to Missionary to College Students

[Sky with diamonds]

Sorry, but not sorry, with his comments on Jazz, I think he was way out of line. Litreally biting the hand that fed him and his family...did he not think or care about that? 

I think Derick is an ass in so many ways. From his digging his heels in about Jazz to his begging for money. He really should know better, but he doesn't change his views, or at least be willing to learn about other views. Simply put, not a good way to live and learn about life. I think he needs a wake up call, but I doubt it will happen anytime soon. 

[nastyhobbitses]

@foreign fundie This isn't an "ethical" issue. Transgender/gender dysphoria is a legit medical condition. Neither Jazz nor just about anyone else who is transgender is doing it for shits and giggles. I'm sure that if Jazz could have made a choice, she would have been a cisgender boy and had a lot fewer struggles in life. It is not a choice. It is a real thing. You cannot "not believe" in it any more than you cannot "not believe" in arthritis or (le gasp) homosexuality.

Sure, you can criticize Jazz's family for putting her/themselves on TV. But kinda hard to do that when you were OK with TLC practically putting the cameras up your wife's snatch while she was in labor.

And I don't care what you think, it is ridiculously disrespectful and frankly petty (and even psychologically damaging) to call a trans person by pronouns they have said that they do not want to be called. A slip-up now and then if you knew them before they came out is understandable. Continually calling a trans girl you've never even met "he" when you know full well that she prefers "she" is just being a dick. It's like this (though with an extra sprinkling of more psychological damage because of the nature of what it's like to be transgender): imagine you're friends with a Chinese guy who's gone by Bob forever. But now, for various reasons, he wants to be called by his Chinese name (maybe he's gotten more in touch with his Chinese identity or something). He tells you this, tells you how to pronounce it, understands that you might get it wrong or have trouble getting used to it, and you say "nope, I'm going to call you Bob" and keep calling him a name he has told you he doesn't want to be called.

I don't care if you think that the Chinese government is evil. Or you think people shouldn't up and change their names. Or you just don't want to call him by a different name. You're being a dick. Derick, in much the same way (except also doing something that contributes to teenagers killing themselves), is being a dick. He is being a bullying dick by repeatedly and deliberately invalidating someone's identity. And validating it and just calling Jazz "she" would be precisely zero skin off his nose.

So yeah, he is a piece of shit.

 

[purjolok84]

Sometimes you don't have to say the phrase 'piece of shit' to call someone a piece of shit.

[seraaa]

@foreign fundie I agree with you, in principle. I think it's possible to get on with a person and enjoy their company and still believe they are going to hell for being LGBT. I think it's possible to believe, incorrectly, that trans people suffer from a mental illness, but still get on with them as people. 

You can smile and someone, and use at pleasant tone while saying these thing, but it probably doesn't make it any less hurtful or infuriating. He is asserting that she is, intrinsically, mentally ill or wrong or broken. That has the potential to do such damage to someone's psyche. It would be even worse of it were the prevailing view. He doesn't "mean" to be hurtful, but that is exactly what he is doing. If your "ethical beliefs" cause harm, of course people are going to push back.  "I don't hate you. I'm just going to continue to push this line that has actual negative consequences for you in your life, but let's be clear: I do not hate you." Who cares, at that point? The consequences of your actions are indistinguishable from the people who do wish harm, but sure?

I  don't think people should be turning up at Derick's door with pitchforks, or even giving him abuse on twitter, but I understand why people react emotively to the topic.

[nastyhobbitses]

17 minutes ago, seraaa said:

@foreign fundie I agree with you, in principle. I think it's possible to get on with a person and enjoy their company and still believe they are going to hell for being LGBT. I think it's possible to believe, incorrectly, that trans people suffer from a mental illness, but still get on with them as people. 

That's not really getting on with them. That's being fake-nice and hiding that you hate that person and think that they're an evil, broken person. That's not getting on with a person or being friends with them. You're just hiding your hate under a veneer of "nice". And no matter how much lipstick you put on that pig, your view will never be acceptable in a tolerant, progressive society.

[seraaa]

3 minutes ago, nastyhobbitses said:

That's not really getting on with them. That's being fake-nice and hiding that you hate that person and think that they're an evil, broken person. That's not getting on with a person or being friends with them. You're just hiding your hate under a veneer of "nice". And no matter how much lipstick you put on that pig, your view will never be acceptable in a tolerant, progressive society.

I do agree with you, it's not a "getting on with" that's worth very much. It's basic civility, which is possible, but it's not respect. 

I think, in Derick's head, he probably thinks it is fine, and so gets upset at the push back ("because I'm being nice"!)  

[Fluffles]

I truly think that Derick is a younger version of John Shrader. He is always right and always feels he is being persecuted by someone. Like Shrader, I feel he will never hold down a real job at home because he just can't tolerate other peoples opposing views.

It seems his brief stint in Walmart was just a fleeting moment of sanity. Does anyone know what he really did while in Nepal?  He seems to have been totally off the grid. 

[JenniferJuniper]

6 hours ago, FloraDoraDolly said:

I must admit, I agree with Derick about Jazz being exploited. 

I'm pretty sure he means she's being exploited by the vast gay agenda as opposed to the TLC show.  These people are obsessed with the idea that the gayz are gonna steal their children and turn them all gay, bi or trans.

13 minutes ago, Fluffles said:

It seems his brief stint in Walmart was just a fleeting moment of sanity. Does anyone know what he really did while in Nepal?  He seems to have been totally off the grid. 

No, but he clearly wants to go back to whatever he did or didn't do there.  He's finding real life is hard work.  Wives, and babies and in-laws, oh my!

[Cleopatra7]

19 minutes ago, JenniferJuniper said:

I'm pretty sure he means she's being exploited by the vast gay agenda as opposed to the TLC show.  These people are obsessed with the idea that the gayz are gonna steal their children and turn them all gay, bi or trans.

This. I definitely think there’s an argument to be made that kids shouldn’t be on reality shows, but that’s not what Derick said. He said that Jazz is being misled by “the gay agenda” and the idea that one’s gender is separate from one’s biological sex, not that Jazz is being exploited by reality TV as such. How could he make such an argument, given that his younger in laws have grown up and in some cases even been born on TV? Derick clearly doesn’t have a problem with kids on reality TV when it’s framed as a “ministry.”

[freealljs]

I think that Derick has dug himself into a hole that he won't be able to get out of easily. He can no longer successfully grift his family's living expenses. People aren't giving him money. He refuses to (or can't) get a job.  Who'd want to hire a trans-phobic, homophobic man whose wife is clingy and needy? Seriously, he's toxic.  Maybe if he went to grad school and took time off from social media and the spotlight, he'd have a chance.   

 

[srlm]

Coming out of lurkdom to see if anyone can fill me in on what the cat incident was?  

[LittleOwl]

To quote one of my Youth Group members: 

 

Derick.  Go sit in a bin. 

[SapphireSlytherin]

14 minutes ago, srlm said:

Coming out of lurkdom to see if anyone can fill me in on what the cat incident was?  

Derick ran over a cat while sledding.

[SongRed7]

11 hours ago, Fun Undies said:

I know I've said it before, but I could see Ben being a youth minister.  Doing bible studies with teens, organizing church sleepover lockdowns, throwing a football around and talking about the Christian life.  He seems geunily comfortable with just about everyone, and that's a great quality to have with teens to help them feel appreciated, and heard (despite their differences) . . . Leading a congregation with a sermon?  Eh.  But the role of a youth minister, that I could see.

Yes!   I knew folks at a different point in my life who were a young, husband and wife team who did youth outreach, sports ministry etc..  It wasn't creepy or pushy or judgmental at all.   I could definitely see Ben doing this. He's seems to be a natural with kids (not in a creepy way)

[Dandruff]

Let's assume that Derick manages to grift enough to get through the Cross Church program.  What then?  Will he be able to get a good enough recommendation from SOS, find a ministry that doesn't mind his "bad press" (or could he stay with Cross Church?), and grift enough additional support to be able to serve?

[SongRed7]

6 hours ago, LacyMay said:

I still remember the flack I got on FB for trying to explain to some of my Christian friends that free speech doesn't equal freedom from consequences. 

Exactly!   and having a TV show isn't a right. So no one violated DD rights.  He said what he wanted (over and over again) and is just reaping the consequences of his action. 

 

[snickers34]

3 minutes ago, SongRed7 said:

 

6 hours ago, LacyMay said:

I still remember the flack I got on FB for trying to explain to some of my Christian friends that free speech doesn't equal freedom from consequences. 

Exactly!   and having a TV show isn't a right. So no one violated DD rights.  He said what he wanted (over and over again) and is just reaping the consequences of his action.

 

WORD. There's literally nothing more obnoxious than someone who's got a bullshit hateful view, then gets called out, then claims free speech. We're not saying you're not allowed to literally open your mouth and blabber, but you best expect some consequences for your nonsense.

[Carm_88]

See I'm of the mind that if you can't say something respectful or keep quiet, then you don't deserve for people to respect your opinions or keep quiet on them. Derick is pissed and he's lashing out at a teenaged girl. Could Derick get a job? Not with what he is saying on his very public twitter, not for many companies anyway. So what now? Well now, Derick is going to continue to be an ass, continue to grift, believe that he is being treated wrongly. People are going to care less and less. He's going to be just another troll.

[albanuadh_1]

I'm sure someone will correct me but I thought Free Speech, like Freedom of the Press, had to do with making remarks against Government/ Monarchy and not being punished/ banished/ incarcerated? ( unless it was a pack of lies).  Freedom of Expression likewise.

I'm not sure it has anything to do with mouthing off about anything that pops in your head.

[Mela99]

I wonder if he plans to start his own church, a la the Bates...

[SassyPants]

10 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

These look like leggings and it's like she's using her longer pea coat as a dress substitute. (circle not mine, I found this on tumblr)

Jeggings maybe, but not leggings. Many of the jeans that are marketed to people who need a little more room in the waist are now made of that stretchy material that gives at the waist, but clings to the legs...I personally hate it. And if folks are going to claim that coat is in the place of a dress, well that is a mighty short dress length for most people, let alone a Duggar.

[Seculardaisy]

2 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Jeggings maybe, but not leggings. Many of the jeans that are marketed to people who need a little more room in the waist are now made of that stretchy material that gives at the waist, but clings to the legs

Mom of four here checking in to say those are my favorite kind of pants. 

[2manyKidzzz]

@SassyPants yes, I think you are right and sweet JillieMuffin is defrauding us all. 

[karen77]

3 hours ago, seraaa said:

I do agree with you, it's not a "getting on with" that's worth very much. It's basic civility, which is possible, but it's not respect. 

I think, in Derick's head, he probably thinks it is fine, and so gets upset at the push back ("because I'm being nice"!)  

What he doesn't see is that he isn't being nice. Being nice would be keeping your trap shut.

[SassyPants]

3 minutes ago, Seculardaisy said:

Mom of four here checking in to say those are my favorite kind of pants. 

That's who they market those pants to...and older ladies like me. Or maybe it's people built like me- shorter more muscular legs and the mid section of someone who has had 2 c-sections...I am small, size 6 but I can not wear skinny jeans, not even when I was a size 2.