Dillards 44: Still Pretending to Missionary to College Students

[BeccaGrim]

If they haven't been filming Derrick then he has known for awhile that he's off the show. Probably since the first Jazz bashing and the uproar (rightly so!) over it.  That's probably why he took the so-called job being a missionary at the college, or whatever he is doing. I've read (somewhere so it could be wrong) that the Duggar girls are quite loaded on their own. I doubt that Jill's life will change at all over this. Plus, I think that they'll still have Jill on the show and remove Derrick like they did with Ann and Josh. 

[lilah]

5 hours ago, SassyPants said:

I agree DD presents as half-assing it. If he doesn't support the show and the other shows on the network that employs his family, he needs to move on to another job and industry that actually pays him enough to support his family. Or Jill needs to get a job too. Or they need to move to where he can find a self supporting job. Refusing to follow the rules of a job and refusing to get another self supporting job is not how a man, any man, let alone a man who claims to living for Him conducts himself. Grifting is not a job, nor is it Godly.  Playcations on someone else's dime are not considered jobs.

Make an adult choice, Derick. You have a family to support! It is your sole responsibility in the hierarchy that you support and bought into.

I doubt any of this is going to happen.

 

The Dillards already have money coming in from the show. That is their primary source of income. Which makes why they need to grift missionary jobs even more shameless. But grift they will do because why do an honest day's labor when you can get your sheeple to pay your way? And if that well dries up there's always his accounting degree.

Yes, not having Derick on the show who hurt their bottom line in some way but I'm sure that that TLC still wants those sweet sweet Jillymuffin Talking Heads and they will work around not telling Derick. They will either film her going on outings or visiting her siblings and playing with her nieces and nephews. They will either pretend that Derrick is busy with his ministry or more likely because this is TLC they just won't say anything about why he's not on the show. 

[MoonFace]

2 hours ago, Toothfairy said:

It's sad we thought Derrick would be good for Jill. He's gone off the deep end 

I'm wondering if it isn't the fact that he didn't get what he was expecting from becoming a Duggar by proxy, that he is disappointed that life as a peripheral Duggar isn't what he thought it would be, didn't make him more 'Godly' automatically, didn't make him as rich as he expected, or whatever he was hoping for, and all the holier than thou stuff made him feel inadequate to the point that it sent him in to Zealot-ville mentally.  

We still don't know if Jillydilly had complications that may cause issues with future pregnancies and he sees that as a expression of God's displeasure that he wasn't 'worthy' enough to add to the cult   family

Or he could just be rat shit crazy to begin with.   I vote for bat shit crazy

[SilverBeach]

3 hours ago, singsingsing said:

This is bullshit. First of all, the meme that she's at the TTH 24/7 is just completely false. The majority of the time we see her, she's at her own house. Second of all, why the hell would a woman with two small children not spend time visiting her nearby family? Why not let grandparents, aunts and uncles babysit? What a remarkably ridiculous thing to shit all over someone for.

Gee,  thanks for the attack because I expressed my opinion. I suppose yours is the only one that matters.

I don't know what you consider shitting all over someone to be, but I hardly did that. I criticized, I didn't shit. Jessa would be happy to know she has staunch defenders on here.

I think your unwarranted rude reply to me is bullshit, which is precisely what FJ gets slammed about. Toe the party line or get eaten.

Duggars get married and continue to behave like children. Clean your house then go to the TTH. I said nothing about babysitting or visiting. 

Nope, I don't like them the way some of you do, but damn. Shaking my head at your vitriolic reaction. 

 

[SassyPants]

4 hours ago, SilverBeach said:

Why wouldn't she? Because she is a grown-ass woman with a husband and children and a home of her own to care for. Maybe a little less time at the TTH would have allowed her to dispose of the shitty diapers on the nightstand that she so proudly posted pictures of.

I do agree that the more adult and responsible approach would be to make sure that your work is done before you go off to enjoy pleasure, even visiting others. I think this is just another indication of the difference "realities" that most of us live vs the Duggars. These 2nd generation Duggars have not marched to the beat of anyone else's drum (beyond JB's) in a good, long time, if ever. They have no idea of the order of business in most people's lives. When I was raising my kids and working PT 3-4 days/week, I did not have either the time or luxury to spend lounging at my parent's house...and besides, in the early years, they were working too. If I was not at work, there was childcare, laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking, errands, appointments- 

They live Fantasyland  adult lives.

4 hours ago, singsingsing said:

This is bullshit. First of all, the meme that she's at the TTH 24/7 is just completely false. The majority of the time we see her, she's at her own house. Second of all, why the hell would a woman with two small children not spend time visiting her nearby family? Why not let grandparents, aunts and uncles babysit? What a remarkably ridiculous thing to shit all over someone for.

I guess you never had a bad thing to say about JB and M turfing their kids to others either?

Why not? Because they are not others' kids. If she is sitting on the couch while Jenny is watching and entertaining her kids, she is  is basically instituting  the cycle that her parents started. It was wrong then and not any better now. People should not keep having kids that they expect others to entertain, unless, of course, if they are paying those kids to be entertained.

[SilverBeach]

Please refer to my thread "Rudeness, Condescension, and Disrespect". I don't continue to get into it with other members, ignore is a useful feature, particularly for bullies who cannot tolerate any opinion other than their own. 

 

 

[SassyPants]

2 hours ago, SongRed7 said:

Actually I think JB does not have influence to a large extent over any of them, except maybe Derick.

Ben -- I think he is a maturing into his own person. Everyone might not agree with his beliefs, but he's come along way from his days bashing Mormons and Catholics online.  He may still have philosophical differences, but I in no way believes he "hates" on anyone.  Once he is through with his education I believe they will move and move on to their own life.  They will always be conservative christians, but not the legalistic, Gothard style of his inlaws.

Jeremy -- Jeremy is an outsider and more worldly.  JB never had influence over him and he has too  much pride to kowtow to JB.  He will be polite and not rock the boat because he respects that they are his wife's family, but they are making their own life IMHO away from the rest of the clan.  In fact, they appear to be closer to his own family, who are normal IMHO. 

Austin -- while he grew up knowing/living near the Duggars, he has his own skills, business (house flipping) and helping out at his family's camp. He has no reason to give in to JB influence.  They may be cut from similar cloth (the Duggars and the Forsyths) but they are not identical.  I see the Forsyths as being more independent.  As Austin gets older, he too will be more insistent on living their lives according to their own beliefs/ways.

Joe -- as a Duggar son who seems to be actively employed with Duggar enterprises (rentals, house flipping, construction, used car sales, etc)...I believe HE is the one more beholden to his father, especially since he is so young 

 

 

This in no way means I believe any of them will turn their back on their brand of their Christian faith, but they will not be beholden to JB.   

 

 

 

 

 

I'm not sure about Austin...if the show is seen as easy, quick money, and Joy starts yammering about him spending time away from the family working, he might be enticed by that easy money and the silence and peace that it brings....especially when that blessing arrives. It's usually a game changer.

[Hashtag Blessed]

Whew! Finally caught up with all these pages. Holy shit, what a deluge of info.  I have a few quick thoughts:

1. The most recent donation on the Gofundme is for $5 from a "Yuza Grifter." And that's funny and all, but why give the $5? Can you rescind a donation on gofundme? Anyway, I'm pleased to see that there appears to be only one sincere donation aside from the mysterious "offline" one. I'm inclined to think it is from JB, but who knows? The fact that this is his third donation page in what? Three months? I don't remember when the first one went up. But neither of the first two brought anything but vehement criticism. Why does he think this one will be different? The fact that he keeps doing this signals to me that he's completely unaware of how he comes across to people. Which probably means he's a piss poor missionary. Gotta know how people perceive you if you want to make a connection and convert.

2. I'm with the people who believe he was cut from the show because he's a charisma black whole that not even the fans like anymore, and not because of his hateful tweets. If he was at all charming or any of the fans were attached to him in any way, he wouldn't have been cut. 

3. Jill in pants is a little surprising, but I think it makes sense that these second gen fundies are going to try to appear more mainstream than their parents did. The frumpers and floor length skirts were appealing to the older folks because they signal a harkening back to an imaginary "simpler time" like Little House on the Prairie. But no one watches that show anymore. Quite the contrary, women's empowerment is very much in vogue in the mainstream right now, so if they're going to convert people, they need to not dress like they live on a compound and only speak when spoken to. Some of the second gen crowd must know this.

4. We have concrete no way of knowing how Derick is perceived in the family, but there has been subtle indications that he is not liked by Jeremy at least. And I think Jill has provided ample evidence that her life has been a trial lately, and I have a hard time believing Derick is a supportive anchor through it all. And now he's going on missions again, likely without her. That HAS to be tough. First that he'll be away without her, and second because she was supposed to have such a heart for missions but is now being left behind. Whether by choice or not, it still has to be tough to reconcile. Because either her "heart" wasn't what she thought it was, or she's being forced to deny it because of motherhood. 

[JenniferJuniper]

1 hour ago, BeccaGrim said:

If they haven't been filming Derrick then he has known for awhile that he's off the show. Probably since the first Jazz bashing and the uproar (rightly so!) over it. 

I don't know, is it possible Derick got his panties in a bunch over Jazz and wanted out of TLC prior to them dumping him?  Probably not, but it's still an open question to me.

I didn't watch any of the weddings because *yawn* but I think someone, Pickles maybe, posted a photo of Derick sitting apart from the other sons-in-law.  Maybe this wasn't personal, but just made it easier for TLC to avoid filming him?   How sad to live your life according to a TV network's rules!

I think Derick is mentally ill.  Mind you, I think that about most religious nuts, but he really seems unwell.   I'll pray for him.  

(as for Jilly Muffin wearing pants, are we sure those aren't leggings and her dress wasn't just bunched up under her coat?)

[Clairice]

I watched Joy and Austins wedding last night (couldn't sleep, was hoping it would send me to sleep, it didn't!) Derick was only in one shot after the ceremony holding Izzie. I kept a look out for him because it had been announced earlier in the evening he wouldn't be appearing on the show again.

[Bad Wolf]

Wonder if Derick's shenanigans are the reason we didn't see Sammy's birth. We'll probably never know all that really goes on. An honest look at the family, strengths and weaknesses would be so much more interesting than courtships and weddings.

[snickers34]

1 hour ago, Hashtag Blessed said:

2. I'm with the people who believe he was cut from the show because he's a charisma black whole that not even the fans like anymore, and not because of his hateful tweets. If he was at all charming or any of the fans were attached to him in any way, he wouldn't have been cut. 

I'm not so sure about this. There are a number of people that are part of this family who I'd consider not charismatic, and so that probably contributes to them not getting as many sound bytes, storylines etc. But there's no way, IMO, that they would publicly call someone like this if it wasn't about TLC wanting to take a public stance against that person. They must've thought that he'd be bad for ratings based on his response and so decided to make a calculated announcement. I mean I don't know their total calculation, but I just don't see them being this public if they didn't think it would pay off for them in some way.

Also, regarding him having known of their decision for months and therefore not get filmed....maybe, but maybe not. Remember that there's a crazy fuckton of editing that goes into this show. It would be hella easy to just naturally pick and choose the right angles, scenes, etc, to make him less prominent.

[onekidanddone]

3 hours ago, Lurky said:

I get why there's a temptation to say "X is homophobic/transphobic, so he must be secretly gay/trans!" and there are of course some high profile examples of people who are being -phobic to try to deflect attention, but that's a tiny minority of homophobes and transphobes - and the VAST majority of LGBT people manage not to be bigoted arseholes.   And let's face is, the number of closeted LGBT people is relatively small, compared to where all the casual and targeted bigotry is said.

As a gay woman, seeing people throw out "He could be a closet gay and finds the idea of a female appearance with the male anatomy very tempting", and other similar comments on FJ is always hard.  It's comes across as completely objectifying transwomen in ways that are especially problematic, but more importantly it feels like it is handwaving homo/transphobia as nothing to do with heterosexuals.   It reads like "He can't really be heterosexual and hateful", and that has really shitty connotations like only LGBT people can be hateful in that way - that only someone who was gay would attack a teenager like this.  Especially as no one has ever put out an "evidence" Derick isn't 100% straight except he's being vile on social media.

I'm probably explaining this really badly, but I would ask FJers, before you say this sort of thing, can you think about what it feels like for LGBT people.  We already face a lifetime of slurs, of suggestions we're all perverts and child abusers, and I guarantee everyone who is LGBT on Free Jinger has faced homophobia from people who are 100% straight. 

You are explaining it very well and I appreciate your openness and candor. Thank you.

[snickers34]

29 minutes ago, Bad Wolf said:

Wonder if Derick's shenanigans are the reason we didn't see Sammy's birth.

Maybe, but it's too early (for their silly delayed timeline) to tell. They did show Joe's wedding early (like the others), but otherwise the timeline is through Joy's wedding only, which was in May, before his birth.

[brusselsgriffon]

Just to chime in on the pants discussion--Jill is close with a lot of pants-wearing fundamentalist Christians, from Sierra to Jinger to her MIL Cathy. And Cathy seems like one of the more outwardly hateful Trump-loving evangelicals of the bunch! IMO putting pants on a Duggar is the same as lipstick on a pig. 

And Deena wears shorts, now that I think of it--and she and Dan seem pretty conservative. 

Also I don't know wtf I did with this post/quote box but I'm sorry!! Ahhh.

[SPHASH]

On 11/9/2017 at 9:27 PM, JenniferJuniper said:

I'm beginning to wonder if he's jealous of her.  Or attracted to her.

Normal grown ass men don't obsess about teenagers.  

Unless they are Roy Moore.

[JenniferJuniper]

1 minute ago, SPHASH said:

Unless they are Roy Moore.

I did say "normal"!   That dude isn't normal any day of the week.

[mizandry]

Jill... in SKINNY JEANS?! 

I'm so surprised by this, and for so many reasons. I'm scratching my head about it, honestly. It seems really out of character, especially with Derick's intensifying kool-aid cult ways. And while I know Cathy sports jeans all the time, it just seemed like Derick, being Boob's "prayer partner" or whatever-the-hell, paired with his weird possessive behavior towards Jill (see: Jinger's wedding), wasn't about to be cool with her wearing pants. I honestly thought he'd bought into that standard. Seems I was wrong! 

With Jinger, I was pleasantly surprised to see her wearing shorts and pants, but it seemed more and more of a possibility that she'd drop the skirts-only rule given her personality, her interests, the family she was marrying into, along with her husband's dynamic with her father. I just couldn't imagine Jill following suit.

The best way I can make sense of this is that Jill, up until now, had been 'allowed' by her dimwitted headship to wear pants but felt convicted to wear only skirts. Honestly, I see this shift as a pretty significant step for her. It tells me she's starting to think a little more critically about her parents' indoctrination (albeit in a very small way) and is reconsidering some of the messages from her childhood. Seeing this gives me the faintest hope that this could be indicative of something bigger going on with Jill and that maybe some day she will leave the cult. Not happening any time soon, but it's nice to imagine. 



 

[Lurky]

@onekidanddone @VelociRapture Thank you!   I find a lot of this really hard to talk about succintly, so I really appreciate your comments.

[AtlanticTug]

7 hours ago, singsingsing said:

Maybe. But I think Jessa gets way too much flack for spending time at the TTH (not saying you're giving her flack for it, though). Why wouldn't she? I was at my grandma's almost every day when I was a kid. I still see my mother almost every day, and my grandparents multiple times a week, and I don't even have kids. I just like hanging out with my family.

I don't really care if Jessa is sitting there all day - when I had my first, I was mostly stuck at home alone aside from going to baby groups or taking my son out alone because my parents were still working, my in-laws were working and not living close by, none of my SILs were off work, etc and it can get boring. If my parents had been 5 mins away and home all day and doing nothing and had a gaggle of kids around to entertain the baby I'd probably have been over there a lot.

The only thing that irritates me about Jessa doing this are the people who shit on Jill for not enjoying her kids or not being as good or happy of a Mom, blah blah. Yeah, maybe it's true. But it's also undoubtedly true that she for the most part had very little in the way of help and was living abroad in an unfamiliar place. It's a hell of a lot easier to post cute photos and videos of your kids if you can have a break every day for a few hours.

[Sky with diamonds]

1 hour ago, Bad Wolf said:

Wonder if Derick's shenanigans are the reason we didn't see Sammy's birth. We'll probably never know all that really goes on. An honest look at the family, strengths and weaknesses would be so much more interesting than courtships and weddings.

Honest look at the Duggars will never happen under TLC's watch. Put it this way, I've been reading here for some time, I've learned more from FJ ( thank you all! ) than years of watching the show. 

[crazysnark]

3 hours ago, SilverBeach said:

Gee,  thanks for the attack because I expressed my opinion. I suppose yours is the only one that matters.

I don't know what you consider shitting all over someone to be, but I hardly did that. I criticized, I didn't shit. Jessa would be happy to know she has staunch defenders on here.

I think your unwarranted rude reply to me is bullshit, which is precisely what FJ gets slammed about. Toe the party line or get eaten.

Duggars get married and continue to behave like children. Clean your house then go to the TTH. I said nothing about babysitting or visiting. 

Nope, I don't like them the way some of you do, but damn. Shaking my head at your vitriolic reaction. 

 

I'm glad someone else has seen the light. These people pretend to be so tolerant and open minded but the minute someone disagrees with them they lose their minds. 

[Oh_Dear!]

little Sammy is quite adorable! 

[karen77]

Half the humpers on the lili and ellie blog are saying they are going to stop watching.... good. They seem to think his free speech was violated by TLC, ha hahahahahaha!!! Christian persecution!! 

[SassyPants]

19 minutes ago, Oh_Dear! said:

little Sammy is quite adorable! 

He is darling!

Are those cloth diapers? I thought the Dillards cloth diapered?