Zach and Whitney Bates - part 4

[Melissa1977]

12 hours ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

I was thinking recently what if people like zach and Whit. Ben and Jessa ect.. are doing some type of prevention but they don't want their family's to know so they have two quick back to back babies  and then just shrug when a third doesn't show up with in the next year. zach and Whit I could see being open if they really did want a smaller family someone like Jessa and Ben not so much. 

I think they, as many other couples (fundie or not), have 1 kid and get ecstatic. Then, quickly have another kid and they realise it's waaaay harder. So they stopped or wait for the kids growing up a little before having another.

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

53 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

I think they, as many other couples (fundie or not), have 1 kid and get ecstatic. Then, quickly have another kid and they realise it's waaaay harder. So they stopped or wait for the kids growing up a little before having another.

 

This seems to happen with a lot of fundies. More often than not, you will see a larger gap between 2 and 3 compared to 1 and 2. Not only do they realize how hard it is, they probably have less time and energy for sweet fellowship. So less sex equals less chance of getting pregnant each month. 

[LillyP]

I think for Zach & Whitney, and probably most of the fundie kids, they all went into marriage with a "as many as God will allow" mindset to having kids. They didn't know any different because it's what is "normal" to them. That being said there are a lot of times in life when you THINK you'll do things one way and end up changing your tune once you're actually in that situation. I think having kids is no different. I'd be willing to bet they realize after 2 kids it's a lot of work and they're happy with where they are right now.

I have a very good friend who is not religious or Fundy and for years said she wanted 5 kids (she's one of 3). She's now due with her second kid next week and they'll be 2 years apart. Reality is setting in just how much life is going to change and how hard it's going to be. Her first is pretty easy and she's used to going and doing as much as she wants but that's about to change with two little kids. I can see her maybe having one more but I'd be VERY surprised if she has 5. Saying it is one thing, living it is another.

ETA: I also see the Bates kids choosing this route way more than the Duggar kids. Regardless if you "like" one family more than the other, the Bates kids have proven more often that they really are making their own decisions (for the most part) within their own families. The pants wearing, less kids, watching mainstream movies, having "normal" jobs (like a hair salon, realtor, and cop) etc.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I also have friends who went into marriage thinking they would have big families and not use birth control. They both nixed that plan after two kids.

I actually don't think Zachary and Whitney are done though. I think they will have at least two more. They just will be more spaced out than the first two.

[OyToTheVey]

My best friend had hers 22 months apart. One more than one occasion she said that if she had known how hard having 2 kids in diapers was she would have waited for the second one. She's an only child and was never around kids in her family so when she got married she wanted 3. I very much doubt they'll ever have that third. Her boys are crazy tho. At 6 and 4 they get into everything. It's loud over there 

[Ivycoveredtower]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I also have friends who went into marriage thinking they would have big families and not use birth control. They both nixed that plan after two kids.

I actually don't think Zachary and Whitney are done though. I think they will have at least two more. They just will be more spaced out than the first two.

I can see Zach and Whit having four kids. maybe five. 

[Carm_88]

I'm not going to say that they are preventing or it seems like that they are. Every single time I begin to think that, they woman gets pregnant. So...let's keep the number of babies down. 

[elliha]

I do think there is some prevention going on but I cannot discount it not just being tired from having young kids. If I am going to be private I would say that it is very possible that I might have been just as childless as I am now had we not prevented pregnancy at this time with a soon to be 6 year old and soon to be 2 year old. The little one has just started being slightly better at sleeping and on top of that, he has a spider sense for any cuddling. If I get close to my husband he almost always wake up. 

I wanted 3-4 kids before I had any. Then I had one and didn't want anymore for 3 years. Then I changed my mind and we got pregnant on the first try which was a bit shocking. Now I have two and they are absolutely lovely and part of me want 3 again but another part is quite satisfied with the two I have too. I understand changing ones mind not just once but several times. I don't want another kid for at least 2 years regardless.

[Ivycoveredtower]

here is a clip from tomorrow's episode about Zach and Whit's new house.

http://uptv.com/bringing-up-bates/bringing-up-bates-house-hunters/

[J'Lurker]

Online shopping means your nosy small-town neighbours never have to know when you bulk order contraceptives from Amazon!

[LillyP]

1 hour ago, J'Lurker said:

Online shopping means your nosy small-town neighbours never have to know when you bulk order contraceptives from Amazon!

Hahahaha so true!! I actually ordered most all of my pregnancy tests from Amazon when we were trying because it was inevitable I'd run into someone at the drugstore! I bought some at Walmart at 6am one time, because I was head out of town early so I decided to swing in. Of course someone I knew got in line right behind me...I mean what are the odds??? Small town life!!

[fluffernutter]

We thought we wanted five kids and a farm. Then we had kid three. Between how hard that third pregnancy was, a diagnosis my husband got (ankylosing spondylitis which is hereditary, raised flags for us for our children), and the fact that we went from kinda sorta having control to omg they out-number us, we decided enough was enough. Now we live on like 1/20th of an acre with a housing association and zero land lol. 

[backyard sylph]

When I hear of these large families all having their laundry in one enormous pile, I am exhausted thinking about it. All six of my kids learned to do their own the moment they could reach the controls. It took oversight, of course, but it paid off. I did wash their bedding and towels all together until they were older.

Also, again, please pardon my need to offer this: http://grammarist.com/usage/toe-the-line/

[Flossie]

10 hours ago, fluffernutter said:

We thought we wanted five kids and a farm. Then we had kid three. Between how hard that third pregnancy was, a diagnosis my husband got (ankylosing spondylitis which is hereditary, raised flags for us for our children), and the fact that we went from kinda sorta having control to omg they out-number us, we decided enough was enough. Now we live on like 1/20th of an acre with a housing association and zero land lol. 

One of my sisters got married and found out after the wedding that she only wanted one kid and he wanted five.  They compromised by saying "we'll have two, maybe three.  We'll see how it goes."

They had their first child.  Easy baby, the usual struggles as they realized they also had different ideas on how to parent, but again worked out compromises.  

Then came their second child.  He was the game changer.  He wasn't a bad kid in any way, but he was so active and destructive that they were overwhelmed.  If he wasn't tearing up stuff to see how it worked, he was climbing stuff and knocking things over, and also was getting hurt because he had no concept of fear!  If five kids were playing in the yard, he was the one who managed to sneak away and try to climb a tree, only to fall out and get hurt.  

As he got older they found that keeping him active in clubs and sports was the way to go, and he's now grown and doing very well in life.  He's got three kids of his own, and I'm not sure he and his wife are done yet.  But he never had any younger siblings, because both of his parents realized that they couldn't handle any more kids.

If my sister and her husband were fundies, they might have been pressured to keep having kids.  But being heathen, they stopped at two and both of their kids are great adults with careers, families, etc.

[MsSaylor]

I definitely agree that the reality of raising kids will/is making some of these couples slow down a minute and evaluate what theyre actually doing. I wanted 4-6 kids, no religious reason or anything I just used to idealize large families and didnt think it would be that hard for me to handle. We stopped at 3 and I still look at these 3 blonde heads lined up in the tub and wonder what the hell I did lol. I love them but it is hard and I feel overwhelmed most days.  

[Ivycoveredtower]

before pics of Zach and Whit's house she say's she'll post after pics tonight.https://www.instagram.com/p/Bgoc1tlnxYc/?taken-by=zachnwhitbates

 

 

[fluffernutter]

1 hour ago, MsSaylor said:

I definitely agree that the reality of raising kids will/is making some of these couples slow down a minute and evaluate what theyre actually doing. I wanted 4-6 kids, no religious reason or anything I just used to idealize large families and didnt think it would be that hard for me to handle. We stopped at 3 and I still look at these 3 blonde heads lined up in the tub and wonder what the hell I did lol. I love them but it is hard and I feel overwhelmed most days.  

Awww I can so relate to this! My girls are 24, 20, and 16 now and I tell you I know everyone says it but it goes by in the blink of an eye. I miss my babies so much. But man, I remember being so damn tired and weary and even lonely. I used to dread middle age and getting older but graduations, engagements, watching them grow up, it's been really awesome. 

[OhNoNike]

That’s weird, looks like she’s removed the Instagram pic 

[VBOY9977]

6 minutes ago, OhNoNike said:

That’s weird, looks like she’s removed the Instagram pic 

She reposed with more pics

[llg1234]

The before pics:

And... the after

Spoiler

 

 

[Coconut Flan]

I wonder if in 10 years, people are going to be not wanting to have all their public rooms run together as one and not want their kitchen the focal point from the front door. 

I am not a "great room" or "open concept" type person.  I would have left the window in the kitchen also. 

[ColeJo]

I think the style is great. However, I'm not  a huge fan of the black/ white contrast. Maybe she will have colorful dishes in the cabinets with the windows and a bowl of colorful fruit on the island or something. The lighting in combination of the black and white is too much sensory wise. I try to utilize natural light as much as I can. 

It's just now occurring to me that white cabinets may get dirty very fast.

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, Coconut Flan said:

I wonder if in 10 years, people are going to be not wanting to have all their public rooms run together as one and not want their kitchen the focal point from the front door. 

I am not a "great room" or "open concept" type person.  I would have left the window in the kitchen also. 

I think some people are already going away from the complete open concept because of noise and being able to see every mess. I think most people want something in between. Like a semi open concept where a couple rooms are open and that's it. 

I also hate the barn door that they did. That will be so dated 10 years from now. 

[Coconut Flan]

I didn't like the barn door either.  I'm more of a will it last person over the latest fad or "updated" version.  Frankly if I never hear updated related to a house again, I won't mind.

[Ivycoveredtower]

I like open floor plans myself and love the kitchen. probably has to do with the fact that well I grew up in both open and non open floor plan houses the house with the best memories for me was a very open floor plan.