Zach and Whitney Bates - part 4

[NachosFlandersStyle]

3 hours ago, lumpentheologie said:

After looking at the pictures more closely I can see that they bricked over the window so they could add another room on the other side of that wall, but still, it bothers me. I know nothing about renovating, but I would probably try to build up and not out in a situation like that. 

 

I guess that makes more sense. It still looks weird that they have that space behind the sink where a window would go and it's just blank tiles.

[LillyP]

On 3/23/2018 at 10:49 AM, lumpentheologie said:

I cannot for the life of me understand why anyone would get rid of a window when they renovate. But I need lots of light to be happy, so maybe it's just me? 

Because not everyone has the same needs when it comes to functionality in a house.

I like a lot of light too, I'm a professional photographer so natural light in everyday life is just something I love. That being said we had argue with our architect about removing a window when designing our new house. The initial plans we were going off of called for a window on one of the walls in what will be my office. I need it removed (for editing purposes as thats where my desk/computers will go) and he was adamant that we'd want it in there. He even tried to go so far as to say if we ever sold people would expect a window there. Well dude we're building this as our forever house, my office is a vital room for us, and if gosh forbid we have to sell it down the road someone can always cut a hole a put a window back in. He refused to accept that I wanted that window removed from the plans but eventually he had to give in because it was OUR house after all. 

[Carm_88]

I like windows. Now not too many little windows, because that just looks odd. Where I grew up, everyone has the huge window with the three glass panes in their living room, it's perfect for snooping at your neighbours. (My neighbours were my grandparents and the rest were my Dad's siblings and their kids.) I'm not an open concept person, perhaps due to being an introvert, I would want the space so I can get in the kitchen and scream if my mother is driving me nuts. 

[Million Children For Jesus]

I like the floors and the countertops, and I’ve never been on Pinterest to know that’s considered a Pinterest look. I’m not a fan of white cabinets or open concept, but what other color cabinet would have looked good with that floor and countertop without looking too dark? Plus, it’s open, so the cabinets have to coordinate with the rest of the furniture and decor. White makes the most sense. Once they get some colorful furniture and accessories, the floors will add a lot of warmth and richness, and the white will brighten the space since they removed a window.

I actually looked it up, and white cabinets are the most popular with buyers at all price points. I think I’m personally sick of white cabinets because of Flip or Flop. I used to keep decorating shows on for background noise while working from home, so I overkilled my Flip or Flop exposure. 

7 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

I'm not an open concept person, perhaps due to being an introvert, I would want the space so I can get in the kitchen and scream if my mother is driving me nuts. 

Yep. My house is broken up into so many sections that I can host a family reunion of introverts who hate each other and we can all have our own space and corner without even really having to interact too much. Everyone always agrees it’s really nice. Even though it is a small house, I can host long term and overnight guests and everyone still has privacy. I would suffer in an open concept home.

[elliha]

17 hours ago, Million Children For Jesus said:

I like the floors and the countertops, and I’ve never been on Pinterest to know that’s considered a Pinterest look. I’m not a fan of white cabinets or open concept, but what other color cabinet would have looked good with that floor and countertop without looking too dark? Plus, it’s open, so the cabinets have to coordinate with the rest of the furniture and decor. White makes the most sense. Once they get some colorful furniture and accessories, the floors will add a lot of warmth and richness, and the white will brighten the space since they removed a window.

I actually looked it up, and white cabinets are the most popular with buyers at all price points. I think I’m personally sick of white cabinets because of Flip or Flop. I used to keep decorating shows on for background noise while working from home, so I overkilled my Flip or Flop exposure. 

Yep. My house is broken up into so many sections that I can host a family reunion of introverts who hate each other and we can all have our own space and corner without even really having to interact too much. Everyone always agrees it’s really nice. Even though it is a small house, I can host long term and overnight guests and everyone still has privacy. I would suffer in an open concept home.

I am an extrovert from a mostly extrovert family and think that all that extravertedness is why I don't like open plan. There is a point when plenty of extroverted people just turn into one giant cackle even to the most extroverted person. When you can't hear yourself think because 10 people are more or less shouting you just want to close a door no matter how much you enjoy social situations. 

[nokidsmom]

I like windows as well and my current home is open plan.  Like a lot of light and tend to gravitate toward the light colors.   Part of this probably comes from having grown up in an older home with a lot of dark wood / walls plus small rooms and I found it dreary.

Zach and Whit did a lot of work transforming the kitchen.  Not sure about bricking the wall but if they are adding a room on the other side, it makes sense then.  It's bit too black and white for me but bright accessories will change the look.  Still they did a good job.

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 hours ago, elliha said:

I am an extrovert from a mostly extrovert family and think that all that extravertedness is why I don't like open plan. There is a point when plenty of extroverted people just turn into one giant cackle even to the most extroverted person. When you can't hear yourself think because 10 people are more or less shouting you just want to close a door no matter how much you enjoy social situations. 

Yep. My family of origin is full of extroverts. I'm actually less extroverted when I'm around them because they are so extremely extroverted that they just drown me out. I will often go outside for a little peace. One of my children is an extreme extrovert and it's never too much for him. He can't be overstimulated by social interaction. 

[MarieMarie88]

On 24/03/2018 at 12:19 AM, crazysnark said:

So the new live chat is on Youtube and they asked AGAIN if Zach and Whitney wanted more kids. Whitney said "yes, bradley do you want a couple more siblings?" And Gil added "What about 10 more?" and Zach's feet starting shaking like crazy while Whitney curled her toes in real tight. I am no body language expert but from what I do know their reactions to the questions and in addition to Gil's input indicate there is a major source of contention going on. And as soon as Gil adds that extra input BOTH of their feet point towards away from the couch. They aren't meaning to do it but these subtle microaggressions are implying they feel VERY uncomfortable about this question. I think personally it's because Whitney wants maybe 4 and Zach feels  guilty about "giving in" to his wife's wants. I am really proud of Zach. It must be hard being the first born fundie male of 19 and allowing your wife to have meaningful opinions about family size and structure. 

(Also i am stating this as an opinion not a fact, I know I could be completely wrong. Whitney may just be lucking out of pregnancy after 2 years and not breastfeeding) 

 I hate that people always ask weather or not Whit is going to get knocked up again every time they do a Q&A on Facebook. I feel like it adds unnecessary pressure on Zach and Whit. 

[elliha]

10 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Yep. My family of origin is full of extroverts. I'm actually less extroverted when I'm around them because they are so extremely extroverted that they just drown me out. I will often go outside for a little peace. One of my children is an extreme extrovert and it's never too much for him. He can't be overstimulated by social interaction. 

My husband who is from a smaller family and used to peace and quiet sometimes falls asleep from being over-stimulated in their company. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

19 minutes ago, elliha said:

My husband who is from a smaller family and used to peace and quiet sometimes falls asleep from being over-stimulated in their company. 

We are just so loud that you would have to be a heavy sleeper to fall asleep around us. The little kids don't even fall asleep.

29 minutes ago, MarieMarie88 said:

 I hate that people always ask weather or not Whit is going to get knocked up again every time they do a Q&A on Facebook. I feel like it adds unnecessary pressure on Zach and Whit. 

That's an annoying question for everyone. I hated getting that question. I swear that question started when my first child was a day old!

[just_ordinary]

The finish looks nice but did I see right that the front door opens right up into the kitchen/dining/living room? Why would you have that? Thinking about insulation or how everything should be tidy because guests will see everything straight away  and where do you store shoes and coats and scarfs and hats and bags and umbrellas????

Open layouts are generally not my taste. I need walls for bookshelves and I like to be able to close doors behind me. Right now it looks very white but as the room is still empty it might come together nicely. The huge room makes me also wonder how much they will spend on heating in the winter and we know that Fundies are mostly not exactly bothered by the environmental change.

The kitchen looks very polished. I don’t like the colours but I will hold off my last criticism till when they are moved in.

[elliha]

4 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

We are just so loud that you would have to be a heavy sleeper to fall asleep around us. The little kids don't even fall asleep.

He is a heavy sleeper. Sometimes I have to shake him to wake him up and then he is often angry I didn't just call out for him. I tell him that i just did, like 15 times.

[formergothardite]

I like having a door I can close for the kitchen because during the summer when I can food I can close the door and only the kitchen heats up. When my kids were tiny and I would have to leave the door open so I could keep an eye on them it seemed like the whole house got hotter. Plus if I'm cooking anything with strong smells I can close the door and it keeps it from spreading around the house. 

They did a good job, it isn't what I would choose, but it isn't my house. 

[socalrules]

I don’t think we can measure Whitney by fundy standards. Whitney didn’t grow up fundy so I am not shocked by the way she dresses or that she has a real job. She dressed non-fundy before she met Zach and is used to being employed. This isn’t new or different for her. She is likely where she would be had she married a non-fundy man. She was never going to stay fundy and likely loved Zach so much that, in the beginning, she was trying to be what she thought he wanted. She likely realized the reason he fell for her is that she was her own person and not a fundy ideal. 

 If they have three or four kids, it would be completely normal. Lots of none fundy people have more than two kids. Now, if she ends up with 10, that’s a whole other story. 

I think their house is cute. It’s likely the best house they have lived in and they should be proud of the work they did to buy it and remodel it. 

[just_ordinary]

It seems to be that three is the new two in regards to children. Even four isn’t absolutely unusual anymore in my country. So them having three or four children might be less than I expect them. I bet on five to seven for them.

[bananabread]

11 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

It seems to be that three is the new two in regards to children. Even four isn’t absolutely unusual anymore in my country. So them having three or four children might be less than I expect them. I bet on five to seven for them.

I've noticed this as well. I have this theory that young adults who grew up in small families with working/divorced/busy parents have this nostalgia for the old-fashioned, large, tight-knit family and want to create that for themselves and their kids.

Not that working or divorced parents can't be wonderful; but at least where I grew up in the 90s and early 2000s, a lot of kids were only children or had maybe one sibling, and they were basically raised by video games because their parents were either working all the time or emotionally/physically absent. There was definitely a sense of loneliness and being on your own in the world. They see a larger family and a strong family culture as the solution.

[just_ordinary]

This might be an explanation @bananabread  

It is still very surprising how fast the change came. Two years earlier none, one or maybe two were the norm and three was already considered a big family. Fast forward and a lot of people are welcoming their third child or talk about wanting more than two children without everyone secretly thinking they are insane. 

I am one of three and I would be open for more than two but we will take one at a time and reevaluate if necessary.

[JermajestyDuggar]

More people are childless though these days. My aunt didn't want any children at all. But her husband wanted children. They compromised with having just one. This was back in the 50s. Nowadays people who don't want kids don't have them. Because the pressure isn't as strong from family and society in general. So maybe those who had one or two kids a few decades ago are now just having none. And those who really wanted children want more than just one or two. 

[VelociRapture]

I knew a bunch of families growing up who had three or more kids. So I don’t think this is that new a trend, at least in my area (which is southern New England - I was born in 1988.) 

Personally, I wanted to have four or more children. I love kids and having a big family really appeals to me. At this point that’s not going to happen due to my pregnancy history, my health, and how expensive it is to raise kids. Husband and I agreed to see how my next pregnancy goes before deciding whether to have a third, but I have a hunch we’ll be done after two. It does make me sad at times, but I mostly just feel very grateful to have at least one healthy kid.

[TuringMachine]

I know plenty of people my age (mid 20s) with 2 or more siblings.

My neighbors growing up had 3 kids. Their mom had told my mom that they had always wanted 4 until they had the youngest kid. My mom was never sure if it was just that having 3 kids was more work than they expected or if there was something specifically about the youngest that made them stop .  I actually told him (the youngest) about that conversation once, and he thought it was probably him lol.

[Ivycoveredtower]

I am one of three, all my aunts and uncles on my moms side had three or more. 

I am my dad's only he had one brother that had three kids and the others had two kids each. 

[candygirl200413]

My parents aimed for two once my older sister was born. Then they forgot how twins run crazily in the family and had a major freakout when my mom found out it was twins. They adapted rather quickly!

Many of my friends are one of 3, but in 90% of them, the third was an oopsy....

[JermajestyDuggar]

Well the average in the US has been 2.something kids for some years now. So the average has always been over two. Which means there probably are a lot of families with three children. I don't think three is uncommon at all. It seems to be a lot of people's limit though, lol.

[neurogirl]

I'm an only child and didn't love it, and I always wanted to end up with someone who had many siblings so that our kids would have a nice extended family. My fiance is the baby of 4 so it worked out well! (Though his family went B-B-G-stop-oops!) Now he and I want to have at least 2, and see what we can afford/handle, though if we had endless means and time we would love to have 3-4. That being said, fiance and his siblings have such a lovely relationship, but that doesn't always happen so it would depend on the kids we would already have as well! 

[Eternalbluepearl]

This may have already been talked to death, but I love that Whitney does her own thing. In some interview she said she can hardly keep up with 2 kids, a dog and Zach. I think it's great. But also it's 2018 and women wearing what they want, working, and deciding a child limit should be pretty standard not some oh wow!, she said that!

As much as I like watching the Bates, I don't like how they suck me into temporarily believing in their fairytale courtship/perfect marriage/all the babies/gee these families really love each other nonsense. No family is perfect. I try to remember that. It's a shiny TV show starring supportive parents, loving siblings, handsome husbands (Chad), teenagers with houses, gorgeous healthy babies, fun family get togethers, and hair and makeup skills I don't have. It's just a show.