The Hawkins Family

[Gobsmacked]

I understood from his post that he asked the seller of the RV to let him have it for a $10.000 down payment, he would then continue to pay in instalments until the $30,000 price was paid off?  He is difficult to understand. 

 

[missy1228]

Okay folks, Bro Gary reminds me of the Dooright Family (sung by southern comedy guru Ray Stevens)...

 

It seems the -ha suffix Bro Gary has affected is very televangelist... maybe he thinks it will grift him more moolah.

[SadieJane]

Hey Folks!,

   When he says he wants to RV for 10 down, what he really means is, if i put 10 grand down on this, will you find the Lord and Savior, start reading King James, and forgive the other 20 grand, because, you know, Jesus... Okay his taste in foot makes me vomit, mostly because it looks like my kids vomit, and King James was delightfully gay, and wrote KJV to get the church off his ass, literally probably.  Part of me doesn't want me to follow this hot mess, but part of me cant look away. Are his kids still in foster care? 

[CarrieBeth]

Oh man, I have a bottle of wine and a bag of popcorn calling my name while I read this train wreck tonight.

[Lurky]

49 minutes ago, snickerz said:

OK folks, I think I found my new fave fundy phrase: I'm saved and full of gravy.

OK folks, I've searched and can't find the post count suggestions thread, but "saved & full of gravy" deserves to be one, right?  Can someone point me to it (and while you're there, give me £10k to do a PhD?)

Sis Lurky

[Coy Koi]

9 minutes ago, Gobsmacked said:

I understood from his post that he asked the seller of the RV to let him have it for a $10.000 down payment, he would then continue to pay in instalments until the $30,000 price was paid off?  He is difficult to understand.

The seller will hold the RV for him if he pays $10k. Then, once he pays $30k, he can "sort of" take it. I have no idea how one sort of takes an RV, but hey, I'm not saved nor full of gravy so there's a lot I don't know. The full asking price of the RV is $59k though, so do keep that in mind when donating to this worthy cause. Remember, no gift is too large!

[Gobsmacked]

2 hours ago, Coy Koi said:

I don't know about high, but he does say people accused him of "dranking". He indignantly proclaimed that he hasn't drank since he got saved, not realizing that if people think you've been dranking, it's probably better if you have indeed been dranking. People who have been dranking can theoretically stop dranking. People who act like they've been dranking when they have not been dranking, well...not a lot can be done for them.

Best laugh all week Sis Coy Koi!! 

Lordy.

Sis GS

Ps: Drank on the lords good Gravy would make a good thread title.

[Bad Wolf]

Just checked his FB page. Gary is an Evangelist at preacher and attended Hawkins home school. Don't know what an at preacher is, but then, I'm not an Evangelist either. 

[Georgiana]

@Lurky, I can't pay you 10k, but I DID request the title to be added  Hopefully this is enough to earn my gravy for the evening.  

 

[General Jinjur]

42 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

Is it possible this guy has some kind of learning difficulty?

Or maybe he's had a stroke. Something is not right in his language processing areas.

He and the wife and kids are sure in the hospital a lot. Seems like someone's always either sick or injured.

Sis Jinjur

[Lurky]

Sis @Georgiana may all your grifting be succesful, and you be forever full of gravy.

ETA Laughing out loud when I realised we've managed 8 whole pages of this thread is about 25 hours! 

[mango_fandango]

This thread only started yesterday and it's already on page 8. Saved and Full of Gravy should be a thread title. Or Speaks Fluent Weenese. 

[sassyNoz47]

45 minutes ago, missy1228 said:

Okay folks, Bro Gary reminds me of the Dooright Family (sung by southern comedy guru Ray Stevens)...

 

It seems the -ha suffix Bro Gary has affected is very televangelist... maybe he thinks it will grift him more moolah.

No this is more the Rods lol. The "momma" and "daddy" just like the end of the home tour video lol. Love some Ray Stevens comedy. I might need a escape to YouTube . 

[MayMay1123]

49 minutes ago, SadieJane said:

Hey Folks!,

. Okay his taste in foot makes me vomit,? 

most excellent typo!

Hey sister, Go sister, Soul sister, Go sister May

[grandmadugger]

In order to get through Bro Gary's video I am leaving one of my favorite Tim Hawkins video. 

Sis Dugger

[Georgiana]

1 hour ago, General Jinjur said:

Or maybe he's had a stroke. Something is not right in his language processing areas.

I am...a bit of a connoisseur of elderly people on social media.  There are a lot of older folks who, while perfectly eloquent in person and in general writing, get on social media and seem to have a stroke.  Like have you SEEN Cher's twitter? 

Sometimes it's because they're unable to use autocorrect or speech to text well, but use them anyway.  Sometimes it's because they are bad typers.  Sometimes it's because they are used to being taught prescribed norms as to how to communicate and are unable to read and infer them on their own from a new platform like social media.  

But I wouldn't say Mr. Hawkins is completely outside of OldPeopleFacebook range.  I wouldn't be SHOCKED if he had language issues, but I wouldn't be surprised if he just has "computer issues".  

 

[church_of_dog]

35 minutes ago, grandmadugger said:

In order to get through Bro Gary's video I am leaving one of my favorite Tim Hawkins video. 

Sis Dugger

I went to a wedding years ago where we all had a good laugh when one of the songs at the reception (just a playlist, IIRC, not anyone actually performing it custom/onsite) was "No Woman, No Cry" 

[grandmadugger]

I tried-uh to get through-uh Bro Gary's-uh video-uh and just couldn't-uh. All that grunting made me think I was listening to someone having sex. 

Sis Dugger

[SuperNova]

Hey folks! 

Bro Gary is a gift sent from Rufus to FJ. The tiny cowboy hat shoved onto his giant fat head is simply delightful. Hes a walking compendium of fundy catch phrases. "Saved and full of gravy" is amazing but I really love "piece of money". I listened to part of his sermon-uh and it was reminiscent-uh of the televangelists of old-uh. I want to hear him say pink ween gravy. It would probably sound like "pank wane gravy-uh". This man is a treasure-uh!

Sis SuperNova

 

[Milly-Molly-Mandy]

2 hours ago, Lurky said:

OK folks, I've searched and can't find the post count suggestions thread, but "saved & full of gravy" deserves to be one, right?  Can someone point me to it (and while you're there, give me £10k to do a PhD?)

Sis Lurky

Please no. It makes me want to vomit just reading it. 

Oops let me rephrase that so you can understand me:

 

ok folks

Please no. It makes me want to vomit just reading it

sis Milly

[Coy Koi]

26 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

But I wouldn't say Mr. Hawkins is completely outside of OldPeopleFacebook range.  I wouldn't be SHOCKED if he had language issues, but I wouldn't be surprised if he just has "computer issues". 

G-Haw has everything issues. His speaking is exactly as eloquent as his typing. I know what you mean though, I love OldPeopleFacebook too.

And I just looked at his Facebook photos for the first time. The other day I said I was just waiting for the day when he insulted immigrants for not speaking English well enough, and now I saw this on his page:

I've spoken to many CSRs who are located in a different country, and in some cases I had some difficulty understanding them. However, every single one of them were far easier to understand in their second (or third or whatever) language than Gary is in his first and only language. Gary, just stfu, you vile asshole. Go back to doing the only thing you're good at: shoving weenies in your mouth.

[Nikedagain?]

Hey folks, no I don't think there is anything medical that can explain Bro Gary. He actually seems pretty typical in regards to the Trump lovin', gun totin', KJV preachin', SOTDT grad, racist homophobe around these NC parts.

Sadly. 

Sis Nikedagain?

 

ETA: maybe his red drank is Cheerwine? 

[Coy Koi]

5 minutes ago, Milly-Molly-Mandy said:

Please no. It makes me want to vomit just reading it. 

Oops let me rephrase that so you can understand me:

 

ok folks

Please no. It makes me want to vomit just reading it

sis Milly

I'm sorry, I still don't understand. Do you mean:

Ok folks plase no. Vowmit from read. JESUS BIBLE

[DancingPhalanges]

Ok folks. I have a drank but I refuse to eat weens. I'm going with a black bean veggie quesadilla, no gravy. I haven't had the guts to listen/watch one of his videos.

I did survive Jim Bakker's bucket of doom video posted somewhere on FJ once so I should be able to watch at least one. Now Jim Bakker was a dranking, fornicating, embezzling tele-evangelist that manages to keep an audience. 

I will have one more drank before attempting a video. 

Sis. Dancing Phalanges--having a drank

[SuperNova]

Does Sis Becky post anything? So far all I know about her is that she makes a mean pink weenie gravy and feeds Bro Gary while he drives. Do we know anything else?