Dillards 36: Seating for Family of Four Now

[nst]

Just now, Hashtag Blessed said:

Have they fallen out of favor with People magazine?

I think Jill and Derick don't want the coverage perhaps because of the backlash with the birth and the sponging of people to go to SCA 

 

[Hashtag Blessed]

Just now, nst said:

I think Jill and Derick don't want the coverage perhaps because of the backlash with the birth and the sponging of people to go to SCA 

Really? You think they'd be smart enough to turn down cold hard cash to save face? When has this family ever done such a thing? I mean, good for them if they did, but I would be shocked that they actually had some self awareness and turned down the money they could easily justify as being for their ministry or whatever. 

[speller24]

Because I'm not down with all the cult rules, and beliefs, if God isn't giving you more children (maybe because you have an unproven vaginal canal, or because of infertility) then don't they "have" to be content with that? Would going to the doctor's office to seek out help be allowed? I ask because I just watched an old episode where Michelle and JimBoob went to the doctor when she wasn't getting pregnant after Jubilee. Wouldn't that fly in the face of "Letting God Decide"? What about Erin Paine going to get shots for maintaining pregnancy? Or is that because she could conceive but couldn't maintain? Would there be a difference? Is there a Gothard Manual about all this grey area stuff? Pregnancy and fertility is so damn complicated and simply leaving it up to God is NOT so simple. 

So with all of that said, would Jill not being able to give birth vaginally (which happens to so many women!), would they consider that God's plan and take it as his word? Or would they just continue to try until she's left with a ruptured uterus? 

It's all speculation, I know, but these beliefs create more questions than give answers to my brain and you guys get that! 

[AnnEggBlandHer?]

I was friends with a girl in high school, and Facebook friends even though we didn't really talk anymore. She is very close with her niece and posts pictures all the time, so I feel like I've seen this little girl grow up over the past 7 or so years. I'm not invested in her life, I don't seek pictures out, I just see them on my newsfeed and she is a cute kid. Anyway, I was in a restaurant one day and see a woman and her kid walk in, and think, 'oh look! It's Hannah!' And then I was completely freaked out that I 'knew' this girl...recognized her in public, knew her name...all from her aunt's photos on Facebook. I don't even know the kid's mom.

I was pregnant at the time, and that was when I firmly decided that i didn't want pictures of my kid on Facebook. We have a private group where we share his monthly updates and funny pictures and videos, but it is only family and friends who we have specifically added to the group. And no bath time pictures, as stinking cute as they are! 

[Hashtag Blessed]

9 hours ago, PainfullyAware said:

 To me I think the saddest part about Jill's current situation how little midwifery is a part of her life. In another life I think she would have pursued a career in healthcare, which she clearly had an interest in. When I first started watching the show, it was around the time Jill went to Nepal to meet Derek. If I remember correctly she went to a midwife clinic and talked about how she would like to do midwifery on the mission field. I know her credentials are suspect, but I still find it kind of unbelievable that she appears to be doing nothing related to prenatal care, deliveries, etc. in Central America.

I don't think Jill should be allowed within five feet of a pregnant woman, in any country, with her current credentials. But I agree that this is one of the saddest things about watching her. She's so stunted by her upbringing and continued adherence to the cult. If she'd been born to a mainstream Christian family she could have gone into nursing, become an RN and an actual midwife if she wanted to. Hell, she could have gone to medical school and become an OB, or a pediatrician so she could really put her "heart for children" to use serving others. Instead, she was limited to a half-assed, science denying education and an apprenticeship with a shady faux-midwife. Her education and credentials are worthless in the real world. It makes me really hate her parents on her behalf. As much as I find Jill insufferable, she obviously had a spark of potential. He goody-two-shoes eager puppy nature would likely have made her a glowing student. She could have followed her passion instead of being dragged around Central America unenthusiastically following her husband's.

[2manyKidzzz]

Forgive me if this has been posted, but does any experience VBAC person here know the limit the OB will allow in terms of hours of labor before performing another C section? If there is no progression, etc. Because that is what is disturbing about Jill's L and D, the number of hours she labored as a potential VBAC before her section.

[SassyPants]

@PainfullyAware

1- Jill doesn't speak Spanish, so she is very isolated in her inability to communicate

2) Jill came from a background where she was not able to have independent thought, action or moment. How was she ever going to function independently in a job or a foreign country? Basically the Duggars have released idiots into the world. These people can not do anything on their own volition because they  were never allowed to develop those skills at the appropriate stages in life.

3) There is no excuse for Derjerk. WTH happened to him in the last 3 years?

 

[nst]

30 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

3) There is no excuse for Derjerk. WTH happened to him in the last 3 years?

early male menopause or a grifter who think he struck it rich 

or he had a breakdown and is dealing with it this way 

[JDuggs]

13 minutes ago, Hashtag Blessed said:

As much as I find Jill insufferable, she obviously had a spark of potential. He goody-two-shoes eager puppy nature would likely have made her a glowing student. She could have followed her passion instead of being dragged around Central America unenthusiastically following her husband's.

Jill would have been a great student through middle school where following directions, doing your homework and listening to the teacher are highly valued. In high school/college, it might be more difficult to know if Jill was up for the academic rigor even if she had gone to school. Nursing is a very competitive field and getting into an American medical school is probably a real stretch. And Jill also did "have a heart for the missions" so in theory, this was also one of her passions. I think that the reality of the location that they are missioning in is too dangerous for Jill to have any meaningful contribution. I think it's time for Derick and Jill to re-think their goals and try to come up with a meaningful contribution to their cause that also keeps them closer to home.

[SassyPants]

@Hashtag Blessed

 

I don't think that Jill would make a good health care worker.

Maybe a good pre-school teacher...maybe.

When she lived in the TTH, she did seem to have a good connection and a great deal of patience with the younger kids, but from what we have seen with Izzy, not so much. She has gone the exact opposite direction as Jessa.

IDK, Jill just seems unhappy and it spills over into everything.

Wouldn't it be nice if the Dullards (I will now longer be correcting that incorrect, auto correct) decided that 2 shitty births were enough, focused on their 2 beautiful boys, decided what they want to do with their lives, and if the mission field was their joint decision, to 100% learn the language of their adopted nation? How about they make a real joint plan and execute it together?

Right now they are on a runaway trip to unhappiness-

[VineHeart137]

@speller24

There's been some discussion about this recently on the Bates forum due to Michael Keilen recently talking about her struggle with infertility.  Like you said, all speculation, but the general consensus seems to be that seeking medical help to create a life is a fundie no-no, but once that life has already been created the "natural way", like in Erin's case, it's perfectly fine to get medical help to sustain it, since a life is a life from conception and should be treated the same as a child outside the womb, according to their beliefs. Of course, each couple most likely decides on their own limits, so it's hard to say whether or not the Dillards will just keep having kids until something terrible happens and she is forced to stop, or if they will seriously attempt to limit family size somehow.

Also, Boob and Michelle's visit to the doctor was just to find out if she was capable of having more children. They weren't actually seeking any medical help to conceive so that visit doesn't really count for anything.

[VelociRapture]

@speller24 Michelle and JimBob weren't seeking any fertility treatments to conceive. They spoke with the Doctor to see if another pregnancy was actually possible or something along those lines.

Chad and Erin were able to seek treatment because they had no trouble conceiving. It was sustaining the pregnancy that was the issue. So, in that case, it wasn't seen as playing God so much as saving an already existing life (because they believe life begins at conception.) Other than her clotting disorder she seems to handle pregnancy and labor relatively fine, so she may have no trouble having a ton of kids now. I don't know specifics about her medical condition though, so I could be wrong.

Michael Bates Keilen made it pretty clear in a blog post that there's something going on medically. No details have been given (as is their right), but the general consensus is that they haven't been able to conceive a child at all. In their case, whether they get treatment or not would depend very much on what the medical issue is. If it's a case where only a procedure like IVF can help then I don't think they'll be pregnant anytime soon as they'd be opposed to the unused embryos being destroyed and no ethical Doctor should going to ok implanting all the viable embryos at once. 

As for the Dills, they don't seem to have a problem conceiving or sustaining a pregnancy (that we know of.) It's really just her body not being able to deliver her kids vaginally for some reason. I don't think anyone can know for sure other than the Dills... but I would guess that the most likely scenarios are:

- they'll stop when they have no choice in the matter, meaning she hits menopause or is medically incapable of conceiving

or

- they keep getting pregnant regardless and simply hope God continues to favor them with decent outcomes.

It is certainly possible that they'll be smarter than that. They may hold many beliefs that her family has, but they aren't exact clones of her parents and they could very well mean it when they said they're open to as many as God gives them. I do think the two options above are probably most likely though, based off nothing other than a gut feeling.

[HarryPotterFan]

3 hours ago, Curious said:

followed closely by "I'd love to have a permanent vacation!"

(I know this was pages back, but I couldn't ignore this one)

Well that's all kinds of fucked up...

[metheglyn]

18 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

I don't care about social media, but I do think that letting your kid be on a reality show is a profoundly bad parental decision.

One of my favorite YouTube channels abruptly stopped posting because the couple who ran it had decided they wanted to start a family and a) were certain they didn't want to put their children into a public sphere (ie on YouTube/other social media) without their informed consent (which required them to have grown up a lot and they didn't even exist yet), but b ) were also worried that they would find themselves breaking their own self-imposed because the kid(s) did something really cute in the background or the like and they wouldn't want to cut it.

They had planned to keep going and growing the channel and just keep the kid(s) out of it until they were older. They realized it wouldn't work because they nearly did break their own rule of not including kids while visiting one of their families and seeing their niblings do something adorable in the background of a video and almost leaving it in.

This is somewhat different than just posting pics of your own kids on your personal social media since this channel had reached Silver status and people sometimes recognized the YouTubers in the street. Much of the content on the channel was done via "Day in the Life" vlogs as well, so leaving their kids out would have been really difficult. So I think it's kind of approaching reality show levels. To combat this, the future parents made a decision to pull back from all public forums over a year ago, and have not posted publicly at all since.

For people not in the public sphere it's probably okay to post some stuff of your kids, as long as it's not stuff that's going to be super embarrassing to the kids in the future (or cause them to get negative attention), but if you're deliberately being public about it? Showing all that private stuff is just not fair to the kids.

[Fluffy14]

2 hours ago, 2manyKidzzz said:

does any experience VBAC person here know the limit the OB will allow

Not sure. My first I was in labour 36 hours. Piggy back contractions..non stop.  I never dilated past 2cm. Baby girl never engaged properly. 10.8 lbs later gave birth via section. Second was planned section. Third was a trial of labour and my OB was not going to let me labour long if there was no progression. I got to 5 cm before all hell broke loose. And was sectioned.  It might be up to the OB and the patient.  But 40 hours ?  I can't imagine ANY OB letting it go on that long. Especially with no progression. It seems insane.

[SapphireSlytherin]

3 hours ago, Hashtag Blessed said:

Have they fallen out of favor with People magazine?

They're probably holding out for the cover of Parents Magazine.

[bella8050]

Just remembered this crazy case of parents that used ro make "prank" videos that featured their children crying all the time because they were being yelled at...never saw more than a few clips of it but something that in no way seemed funny. Yet they had a ton of viewers and made a lot of money off it. The mom of two of the kids saw the videos and got back custody of them from the idiot father running it. 

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/03/us/maryland-couple-youtube-prank-videos.html

 

[KelseyAnn]

1 minute ago, bella8050 said:

Just remembered this crazy case of parents that used ro make "prank" videos that featured their children crying all the time because they were being yelled at...never saw more than a few clips of it but something that in no way seemed funny. Yet they had a ton of viewers and made a lot of money off it. The mom of two of the kids saw the videos and got back custody of them from the idiot father running it. 

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/03/us/maryland-couple-youtube-prank-videos.html

 

Don't worry! They lost custody, thank God!

[Kjaerringa]

Posted 3 hours ago · 

Quote

Because I'm not down with all the cult rules, and beliefs, if God isn't giving you more children (maybe because you have an unproven vaginal canal, or because of infertility) then don't they "have" to be content with that? Would going to the doctor's office to seek out help be allowed? I ask because I just watched an old episode where Michelle and JimBoob went to the doctor when she wasn't getting pregnant after Jubilee. Wouldn't that fly in the face of "Letting God Decide"? What about Erin Paine going to get shots for maintaining pregnancy? Or is that because she could conceive but couldn't maintain? Would there be a difference? Is there a Gothard Manual about all this grey area stuff? Pregnancy and fertility is so damn complicated and simply leaving it up to God is NOT so easy.

This!  If they are willing to accept the advice of a doctor to keep the fetus alive, why is there such a premium placed on delivery at home being more Godly? Seems to me keeping the child alive whom it is viable is also important. However...It also appears that Jill is far more determined to do things HER way than even Michelle and Jim Bob. They did not hesitate to accept medical intervention, and saw OB's, as she was high risk. Did we ever see a home birth for her? She had one or two, I think, but before fame and glory, right? Maybe this is actually Jill's rebellion.

[Kailash]

15 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

One really interesting thing to me is the link between ASD in girls and anorexia. There have been multiple studies showing a very high comorbidity. There's also a connection between autism and gender dysphoria, especially in female youth.

I just wanted to thank you for posting this. My daughter is on the Spectrum and was showing signs of anorexia. Luckily her therapist knew of the connection between it and ASD and she recommended we have our daughter checked by her pediatrician. I had no idea there was a higher incidence of anorexia for girls with ASD and I had not realized this was an issue to keep an eye on. I am so thankful we caught and addressed the problem when we did. Being aware of a possible issue and working to prevent it is much easier than trying to repair the damage after it's gone unnoticed and untreated. 

[Exposedknees]

7 hours ago, Curious said:

followed closely by "I'd love to have a permanent vacation!"

(I know this was pages back, but I couldn't ignore this one)

Yep this annoys me too. Along with "You sure are fast in that wheelchair!"

[prayawaythefundie]

47 minutes ago, Kjaerringa said:

If they are willing to accept the advice of a doctor to keep the fetus alive, why is there such a premium placed on delivery at home being more Godly? 

A homebirth is much cheaper. If you expect to have births in the double digits you're probably trying to "save the difference" whenever possible.

[HarryPotterFan]

@Kailash I'm glad that the anorexia was caught early!

In terms of sharing on social media and reality stardom, I remember reading somewhere that Maci from Teen Mom said that people have recognized her son and approached him. Not okay!! He's a kid and didn't sign up for this. It would be terrifying to be a kid and have strangers talk to you and act like they know you.

[sassyNoz47]

This all makes me think of the "bratnleys" I think that's the name YouTube stars. Then the oldest suddenly dies. 

[MiddleAgedLady]

New tweet from Derick!