Dillards 36: Seating for Family of Four Now

[VineHeart137]

1 hour ago, sassyNoz47 said:

This all makes me think of the "bratnleys" I think that's the name YouTube stars. Then the oldest suddenly dies. 

Do you mean the Bratayley family? My sister used to watch them. Their son Caleb died from an undiagnosed heart condition, I believe? It was pretty sad. Not sure if they still make videos.

[MadeItOut]

20 hours ago, Beermeet said:

I think you join that hashtag title group .  Try an experiment.....hashtag something like,  #love,  on a post.  Then, go back and click on that hashtag.   I'm not 100% if you are set to private on IG or FB if others will see though.  Always assume others can see is my motto though.  

#paranoidgenxer

I did experiment with mine a while ago (my profile isn't locked up like a drum, but I like to know what goes where. For most things, if I check a hastag, I don't see mine included generally, however there was a piece I made for my Mum's birthday and I hash tagged the author of the poem involved (so as not to forget it mostly) and it does show up in that collection - but then there are only about 25 items, so I don't know is that because it does it all the time, or because the collection's under some minimum amount.

20 hours ago, backyard sylph said:

You've created a fine analogy for everything wrong with the internet, pretty much all of it. Sometimes I feel "we" deserve to go back to rocks and sticks.

Oh glory - not rocks and sticks! My inner H&S officer is twitching!

[MadeItOut]

18 hours ago, Snarkle Motion said:

I mean 2 kids isn't exactly the same as 19. I don't think there's a specific number necessarily that becomes "baby hoarding" but when you need to rely on sister moms and individual kids lack attention or resources. 

Two in particular is a figure that's sort of in the public consciousness IN GENERAL for the last 800 years or so if you look at it, as being a small to 'normal' family size - we're not so far removed from 'heir and a spare'/carry the name/continue the business days.

16 hours ago, bella8050 said:

have one acquaintance who I wish I could knock some sense into. She's an aspiring singer, is at the 5k limit of FB "friends" and makes all her posts public.

On the other side I have a friend who is totally private about her son. While she was pregnant she posted a message saying she would not be posting any photos of him, and not give his name either and asked for those who knew it to not say it on her page. (snip)

I don't have kids but when I do, I would want to be on the more conservative side.

The one random weirdo aside (who hasn't spoken to me today - perhaps he's not used to women not obediently answering every personal question), IG somehow seems safer and more fun than farcebook. I sometimes wish you could share cool stuff so other friends who would enjoy it can see, but I do also appreciate why we can't and I like that they're careful. Farcebook I really only keep on for three reasons: 1 - to keep up with friends and family overseas; 2 - for work; 3 - on the very worst days when I can't walk or do anything proper, sometimes I'll talk to a friend or play idiotic games.

6 hours ago, SassyPants said:

released idiots into the world.

Please can we have 'Releasing idiots into the world' as a post county thingy?

[MadeItOut]

6 hours ago, SassyPants said:

@Hashtag Blessed

 

I don't think that Jill would make a good health care worker.

Maybe a good pre-school teacher...maybe.

 

I knew a girl in school who was sort of a secular Jill. Bright enough to keep up, but mainly from a desperate desire to please teacher and dumb luck of being situated right in the middling abilities where the classes were pitched. She did have brains this one, but being pretty and sweet/quiet while parents focused on messy divorce and surface level life etc was what was valued in their house.

Many years later, a mutual friend was doing a thesis on aspiration and fulfillment (she's a careers advisor now) and both the aforementioned friend and I were in the 'ended up doing what they wanted' group. We ended up next to each other and you know how it is when you glance, you sometimes auto-read something without meaning to. She was describing how she'd always wanted to be an undercover holiday maker judging hotels abroad etc or a nursery teacher and she was proud to say that she'd achieved all her dreams because after several years as an airhostess (her word, not mine), she was really proud to have worked all year and had just ''reesently qualifed as a Childmindor."

She gave that up a year or so later when #2 made an appearance. I know it's bad of me, but I was a teeny bit relieved.

[pook]

20 minutes ago, MadeItOut said:

@MadeItOut

Please can we have 'Releasing idiots into the world' as a post county thingy?

I was completely thinking the same thing.

[MadeItOut]

3 hours ago, Fluffy14 said:

Not sure. My first I was in labour 36 hours. Piggy back contractions..non stop.  I never dilated past 2cm. Baby girl never engaged properly. 10.8 lbs later gave birth via section. Second was planned section. Third was a trial of labour and my OB was not going to let me labour long if there was no progression. I got to 5 cm before all hell broke loose. And was sectioned.  It might be up to the OB and the patient.  But 40 hours ?  I can't imagine ANY OB letting it go on that long. Especially with no progression. It seems insane.

I have very severe allergies to pretty much all anaesthesia and all opiates etc, so that may have been a factor, but my labours (as in now is the time to be in the hospital baby is definitely coming early) were for the most part longer and a section wasn't even discussed with me. With elder boy we arrived Sunday afternoon and he was born 04.55 Weds; with wee madam I was in and out for a week or so and having steroids etc to build her lungs up, then there was a student at the birth who was doing loops when she was doing the paperwork that she'd seen a "documented 50 hrs labour". With wee boy, again in and out, no steroids at 33.5 hrs his heart rate dropped once and the midwife suggested induction. He was born at 37.5hrs.

[Coconut Flan]

A note about post count titles - I don't pick them up from the threads because 1: I'm not good at keeping lists unless they're in my phone and I do FJ on the laptop and 2: there is a thread for collecting suggestions.

It's under the suggestion box:

That is not a place for thread title suggestions though.  Those will likely never be seen by the person making the new thread. 

There are directions in that thread on what needs to be included for the post count title suggestion.

 

[Snarkylark]

Going back to the discussion on EBP and using methods to "save" a pregnancy...if it's God's will for the child to be born and they are leaving it up to God, wouldn't God be able to intervene? 

[MadeItOut]

19 minutes ago, Coconut Flan said:

A note about post count titles - I don't pick them up from the threads because 1: I'm not good at keeping lists unless they're in my phone and I do FJ on the laptop and 2: there is a thread for collecting suggestions.

It's under the suggestion box:

That is not a place for thread title suggestions though.  Those will likely never be seen by the person making the new thread. 

There are directions in that thread on what needs to be included for the post count title suggestion.

 

I'm so sorry - now you post this I realise I've seen it before somewhere. I will do better.

[calimojo]

1 minute ago, Snarkylark said:

Going back to the discussion on EBP and using methods to "save" a pregnancy...if it's God's will for the child to be born and they are leaving it up to God, wouldn't God be able to intervene? 

You are trying to make sense from the nonsensical.  You are applying logic to the illogical and you are thinking critically compared to those who don't think, but just follow.

If all things come from God, as they claim, then it stands to reason that Science comes from God, so in an of itself, science should not be so f"cking scary to these people.   They have rules set out, but only follow them as they apply to their overall mission.  These are not smart people.  These are followers and people who have characteristics that make them easier targets for manipulation.  I don't mean the kids born into the cult aren't smart, but those that seek it out and choose to follow it, are not wise, or able to think critically or logically. 

I know that sounds harsh, but I can't for the life of me understand any other reason why someone of reasonable intelligence and critical thinking skills would ever listen to Gothard's bullshit and think that sounds reasonable.  They either sought it out due to some deep insecurity or guilt, or there was an aspect of it that satisfied a desire  they had, like JB and his ever available wife, and provided them with twisted justification for thinking they were righteous in their pursuits of baby hoarding, parentifying their kids in order to shirk their responsibilities, hating LGBQT, Patriarchy, etc.

The kids born or carried into it by their parents are the sad part because they are so sheltered and stunted by it that it makes it hard for them to break away. 

 

[nolongerIFBx]

On 7/31/2017 at 4:31 PM, Berta McGee said:

... "You're all idiots! He's just ugly!" ...

Spoiler

 

[MissAquarius]

My first post and I'm managing to contribute to thread drift AND on topic! -waves- Hi, y'all!

Back in 2012, I attempted a VBAC after 2 c-sections. My OB didn't give an exact time limit on how long she would let me labor, but made it very clear that when said "cut," I was heading to the OR. I had to deliver at a hospital with a NICU. If I didn't agree, I couldn't be her patient. Most of my prenatal care was handled by a very nice and knowledgeable midwife. My OB wasn't heavily involved in my care until my third trimester.

Fast forward to the day I went into labor... The hospital I was delivering at was almost 90 minutes from my house, so once I realized my contractions were real, we headed to my friend's apartment. Her apartment was about 15 minutes away from the hospital I was delivering at, directly across the street from a fire rescuer station, and less than 2 minutes away from another hospital with a NICU. The midwife called me every 30 minutes or so to check on my prehospital labor and I was required to head to the delivery hospital by midnight (roughly 15 hours after my first notable contraction) or as soon as my water broke. About 7 pm, I had a really bad feeling. No physical sign, just a feeling something was wrong. We headed to the hospital immediately.

I was already 5 cm dilated and everything seemed to be progressing well, but my son's heart rate dropped during every contraction. OB said cut. Turned out my son had not only wrapped the cord around his neck twice, but had damn near hogtied himself! I joked he was always breakdancing in the womb, but DAMN! Thankfully he was perfectly fine. Because of how he'd tied himself up, there was no way he could have passed through the birth canal and I don't even think of what would have happened if I didn't have that c-section.

As for more kids, my OB not only said I could have more, but I was welcome to attempt another VBAC with her. As much as I'd love to have more, I probably won't because...

I am now unfortunately disabled. I lost the genetic lottery and have 4 conditions that tend to pop up in my family plus spinal and nerve damage from a car accident. I got hit with the perfect storm of screwed.

Also, my oldest son is on the spectrum and has ADHD. Luckily he was diagnosed very early and we were able to set him up with extra help. The only problem he had was with school. His public school did very little to help. They kept holding him back and stringing him along. I was constantly have to fight for him. The biggest issue was, overall, they demanded he learn to conform to the way they insisted he learn rather than adapting to his needs. Thankfully, he managed to have a few wonderful teachers along the way. His 2nd grade teacher is still very involved with him even though he is now a teenager.

I tried getting him transferred to another public school, but the district refused. The lovely private school where he attended preschool (the ones who noticed that he was on the spectrum) were unsure they could meet his needs. We considered homeschooling, but I wasn't sure I could meet his needs either. I had worked at an adult ed teacher my entire adult life, but I'd never taught kids, let alone a kid with special needs. We did start looking in to it.

During this time, my son's specialist decided to start slowly lower the dose of ADHD meds to see if he was fine at a lower dose or if behavioral therapy was fine on its own. My son accidentally let this fact slip at school. The vice principal had an epic shit fit and demanded my son remain highly medicated. It was at that moment I decided we were homeschooling the next school year. His public school had failed my son so horribly, I knew I couldn't do worse.

We didn't loudly announce our plans for the following school year, but didn't keep them secret either. We planned and procured. We even asked my son's better previous teachers for advice. The vice principal didn't know my sons would not be returning the next school year, until she asked my oldest son of he was excited about the next school year on the last day of school. Oh, he happily told her EVERYTHING.

Two days later, CPS was at my door. I hadn't even filed the paperwork to homeschool yet. They actually claimed that a physically disabled mother was unfit to homeschool AND even letting my children see me "suffer" was a form of psychological abuse. It took 3 months of multiple evaluations before they'd close the case.

On a positive note, after a but of trial and error, my oldest son is doing amazing and is looking forward to his 2nd year of homeschooling.

Sorry this was so long and please forgive any funky grammar. I'm currently medicated and that makes me talkative and dumb. :/

[HarryPotterFan]

@MissAquarius Welcome to FJ!! 

I'm glad you listened to your instincts with your youngest and everything was okay! And I'd like to smack that vice principal. First I was completely appalled he demanded your son remain highly medicated. He has no right to demand that and isn't a doctor on your sons case! But then calling CPS on you?? There are no words. Well, besides a long string of explicatives to describe him! I hope he gets fired. I'm sorry the school system failed your son and you.

[Snarkle Motion]

29 minutes ago, Snarkylark said:

Going back to the discussion on EBP and using methods to "save" a pregnancy...if it's God's will for the child to be born and they are leaving it up to God, wouldn't God be able to intervene? 

I think the idea is similar to their beliefs about dentistry they've voiced. There are some things you cannot change but for other things God has granted you the ability to "improve" upon what you have (by utilizing trained professionals most likely educated in secular institutions with the help of science but all in gods plan or something). 

Its not okay to "play" God by using science to conceive - especially any methods that would result in disposal of fertilized embryos. But once a child is conceived you can use all the advances of modern science to keep the child alive. God helps those who help themselves, etc. 

I also think Erin Bates gets unfairly labeled as using fertility drugs. She took a folate supplement which is essentially a prenatal vitamin all women should take as its essential for the developing brain no nervous system. I believe it also decrease miscarriage as the body has a mechanism to miscarry if there is not enough of vital resources necessary for development. And then she also treated her underlying clotting disorder with a baby aspirin and heparin shots to sustain the pregnancy. To me that's not the same as taking hormones to increase chances of conception (aka fertility drugs), its prenatal care.

[HarryPotterFan]

4 minutes ago, Snarkle Motion said:

but for other things God has granted you the ability to "improve" upon what you have

Boob jobs?

[Snarkylark]

@Snarkle Motion and @calimojo I know, I know. It was a rhetorical question;)

[Nikedagain?]

1 hour ago, MissAquarius said:

@MissAquarius Welcome! And I am so sorry that you're getting push back from a public school for your sweet boy. Keep us posted. We will send you lots of great vibes. People here are huge champions for our kiddos! 

 

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

1 hour ago, MissAquarius said:

As for more kids, my OB not only said I could have more, but I was welcome to attempt another VBAC with her. As much as I'd love to have more, I probably won't because

That is truly amazing. When I was pregnant with my third, I could not find a single doctor who would let me attempt a vba2c. (Not bc of circumstances, purely for the number.) When I was pregnant with my fourth, having a vba2c was much more common, but no one would touch a vba3c. Sigh.  

[divadivine]

While we're on the Facebook thread drift.... My 6 year old goddaughter tried to convince my Mom she (6 yr old) had her own Facebook page. She told my Mom "Aunt Gigi, you just type my name right up there in that box and watch my name come up!" There are indeed several other people on Facebook with her name, but none are her. She had my Mom going for awhile. 

Then she made my Mom pull up my cousin's page (the 6 yr old's Mom) and she had to look at every photo her Mom has posted and ask questions about things like "What is Kelly's last name? Huh, I never knew her last name before!" The girl is way too smart for her own good. 

My Mom said "She knows more about Facebook than me and she just turned 6!" 

[Snarkle Motion]

2 hours ago, HarryPotterFan said:

Boob jobs?

If it pleases the headship I assume they'd be in favor of it? 

[Fluffy14]

Miss Aquarius!! I am so sorry I accidently  down voted you on your first post!! I am on a new device and my hand slipped Twice!   I like everything you said and would never have down voted you. I am so sorry. And I don't know how to link your name to notify you. So sorry.

[WiseGirl]

3 hours ago, MissAquarius said:

The vice principal had an epic shit fit and demanded my son remain highly medicated.  His public school had failed my son so horribly, 

Ugh this makes me ragey! Public schools are not allowed to talk about medicine!  And they must follow the IEP, it's a legal document. Drives me nuts. I think I need to segue into becoming an advocate......

[QuiverFullofBooks]

3 hours ago, Snarkle Motion said:

Its not okay to "play" God by using science to conceive - especially any methods that would result in disposal of fertilized embryos.

The Duggars have never said that they oppose fertility treatment. Someone asked Michelle about it pre-menopause and she said "I've never had to think about it!" It got a big laugh. Also, embryos are easily frozen and used later, and embryo adoption is a thing now. 

[MiddleAgedLady]

Derick tweeting about Reality shows being real! It was a TLC tweet about a contest for Jazz. 

 

[zygote373]

I was just about to post this. It made me so mad. 

I don't understand why he and others like him care so much to fight against transgender issues. Jazz's life has zero effect on you, Derick. Leave her alone. 

I always wondered what the Duggars thought about sharing a network with Jazz. Guess we know. 

Now I wonder how TLC feels about him trashing one of their other shows