Dillards 36: Seating for Family of Four Now

[JoyJoy]

Derick posted a photo of Jill looking good and people went nuts about pepperoni pizza 

He then posted a photo of pork ribs with a silly caption as a way of saying we eat pork. 

Everyone started commenting on the lack of a family photo, so he posted one.

I'm not seeing the problem. I don't think Derick is being passive aggressive or handling this badly. The Dillards were being quiet. We wanted more information and now we're mad at Derick and Jill for responding 

 

[Snarkle Motion]

1 hour ago, SassyPants said:

The Dillards are reality TV personnel. They also get to deal with all sort of job/industry related nastiness.

If they can't handle what comes with the job, they can find a different way to support themselves.

Besides, they are attention mongers- they are loving this. It keeps them relevant, if only in their own eyes.

I completely agree. I believe it's fair to criticize the adults because they have chosen to make their living in the public eye. 

Furthermore, they use their fame to shape political policy and influence others. JB ran for US senate, the family has participated in hateful campaigns like the bathroom robocalls.

Being in he political sphere opens you up to most types of criticism, beyond just a "regular" celebrity. I don't know the exact legal basis, but my understanding is that the founders wanted to protect this type of speech and the ability to ridicule or make fun of people in power. Doesn't mean that this type of speech is always justified, but I believe it's protected and I think it's important. If Jill and Derick want to stop shaping our political landscape with their  fame and keep their views political views private then I'd be more supportive of restricting how we judge them online. Until then, I think it's acceptable to make most comments that "judge" them. Like the pizza car photo being weird or why doesn't Derick have a real job and even speculation whether jills decisions endangered her health. Because these people judge and publicly use their power to shame others, spread hate and false expectations about birth/motherhood, and even have influenced laws out women's bodies and the rights of others. Get out of politics, stay private, and I will no longer support petty hurtful online commenting. But ridicule is a way  for the public to fight back.

Truthfully, I don't feel comfortable commenting on forums devoted to families that have not specifically sought to be in the public eye and benefit from public fame. Like these are private citizens. That feels like cyber bullying, even if they are crazy hateful people, they never asked for stalking from strangers. Even some of the Jill Rodriguez stuff feels icky. Yes, she'd jump at the chance to be a reality star and she puts all her stuff on YouTube but until she is actually making a living off her fame or using her power to shape the lives of others, I tend not to want to judge or comment. I definitely find myself drawn to watching the train wreck but try to withhold from commenting (not perfect though).

[missegeno]

23 hours ago, Million Children For Jesus said:

 spring onions (AKA green onions, or when chopped, they're called chives)

I'm sorry, I know the thread has moved on, but I can't let this go. Using these terms interchangeably is one of my pet peeves.

Green onions are the same thing as scallions. They have a small white bulb at the root, with concentric layers and green tips. The white portion does not generally bulge out very much, but instead they are rather straight in shape. They are commonly used as a topping for many asian dishes.

Spring onions are uncured fresh onions. They are the same types of onions as people generally call onions, just young and uncured instead of having that dry, papery skin. If you dry out the skin (known as "curing" the onions), you get the onions that are sold unrefrigerated at stores year-round (whereas spring onions have a much shorter shelf life and have to be kept cool). You can have red spring onions, yellow spring onions, white spring onions, and sweet spring onions, just like the variety you get with cured onions. They are generally quite a bit larger than scallions because they are "onions," but smaller than cured onions because they are harvested young. The white area is very bulbous and the green tips spread out more than the green tips of scallions. They are great grilled.

Chives are an herb shaped more like grass than the aforementioned types. They are hollow and do not have the concentric layers that are characteristic of actual onions. They do not have a bulbous root for eating. When you harvest chives, you just snip them off above ground. They are commonly used as a topping for mashed or baked potatoes.

 

This article details a lot of differences between different varieties of onion (with pictures!): http://www.seriouseats.com/2014/06/differences-between-onions-yellow-red-vidalia-what-are-ramps-shallots-how-to-cook-with-onions-guide.html

[Hashtag Blessed]

1 hour ago, JoyJoy said:

I'm not seeing the problem. I don't think Derick is being passive aggressive or handling this badly. The Dillards were being quiet like we always wanted. We wanted more information and now we're mad at Derick and Jill for responding 

True, it seems like some people are going to nitpick them to death no matter what they do. That's the thing about the internet. I suppose they have caught quite a lot of flack for literally everything over the years, and that is likely why they've grown less enthusiastic about publicly documenting their lives. But I maintain that Dirty Jesus could go back to working a salaried job and they could live a relatively private life, even if they are still on the show. They would no longer need to maintain a public social media presence to try to pull in donations for their extended praycation. But Dirty Jesus just HAS to keep tweeting vague bible verses at the heathens. 

[justoneoftwo]

14 hours ago, nst said:

and it appears that Jill is only wearing one earing 

cute picture 

 

 

This is just like that blog post about how women aren't noticed once they become mothers.  See Jill, we still notice and care about you as a person!

[Snarkle Motion]

1 hour ago, JoyJoy said:

Derick posted a photo of Jill looking good and people went nuts about pepperoni pizza

We wanted a clear indication that Jill and Sam were okay. Since the information we had (and their past history) indicated they made some decisions that possibly could be associated with risks to mom and baby (40 hours labor, attempting home VBAC, using unreputible midwives). 

This is a family who posts happy birthday and congratulation videos to people in the same house. They make their living based on getting people interested in their family and new babies. These people have People magazine spreads for new babies. So when they are silent and behave inconsistent with past behavior and family trends, it's going to make people think something is up. But all they had to do was issue a statement or made a well thought out, planned posting instead of a haphazard "we're eating pizza in he car, everything fine" post. 

No one is "mad" at Jill and Derick. We are pointing out that they handled this in a way that is different and not really effective for their "job" of  being public figures focused on family. If this is how they make income, then maybe learn a bit about pr and put some thought/planning behind your posts. Or not. But if you don't it's going to open you up to more questions and criticisms, whereas a planned and thought out presentation of your family consistent with your intended image will get less flack and help shape public opinion.

[HarleyQuinn]

The Dullards are fun to snark on because they're terrible people. Just let it happen.  

[SuhrEnity]

It stops being snarky when there's prophetizing about strokes, zika and hysterectomy's. It just becomes nasty at that point.

[Hashtag Blessed]

3 minutes ago, HarleyQuinn said:

The Dullards are fun to snark on because they're terrible people. Just let it happen.  

Lmao, seriously. They're actively working to convince us that we're living our lives all wrong. Guess what assholes!? Many of us think you're living your life all wrong too and they're going to tell you ALL about it every time you post!

[SamiKatz]

There are people on this board who have expressly said they hope Jill did have a hysterectomy, and have wished infertility on some of the Duggar woman (and Michael Bates), and that Jill, Jessa, Jinger and Joy should have no rights as victims of a crime that happened when they were minor children.  If you can say that about someone and believe it's okay because they are "public" people who have chosen to live their lives in the limelight, then you are no better than they are, as far as I'm concerned.

[Rachel333]

I think wishing infertility is about not wanting any more kids to be born into fundamentalism. That used to be a common sentiment on FJ, but looking back on FJ's early days I think FJ has gotten a lot nicer, which I think is largely a good thing.

I've never thought anyway that someone being on a reality show means that everyone is entitled to know everything about that person's life.

[Kak]

@missegeno glad you got that off your chest?  Lol

[seraaa]

@backyard sylph Women are only now more frequently starting to be identified as being on the spectrum, partly because we often don't present with the stereotypical profile, which was based upon the men among whom it was assumed to be more common. ASC's a lot more heterogenous than people may think.

I don't think I'd have got my diagnosis if I didn't have a family history. I resisted it initially, and what do you know, my family turned out to be correct in their assumption.  

Quote

I don't like to discuss this, but someone mentioned "stimming," which I only heard of a couple years ago. I have rocked back and forth all my life, only worked to make it subtle as an adult. 

I mean, same. It's very, very common  

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

43 minutes ago, Hashtag Blessed said:

True, it seems like some people are going to nitpick them to death no matter what they do. That's the thing about the internet. I suppose they have caught quite a lot of flack for literally everything over the years, and that is likely why they've grown less enthusiastic about publicly documenting their lives. 

And this I'm guessing is he reason for the lack of information about Samuel. I still think they made a dumb ass choice laboring at home for nearly 2 days, she had yet another emergency c/section and this time there were complication that had some negative affects on her and the baby. They don't want to deal with the backlash they will get when/if the story comes out so they are just going to say nothing.

[seraaa]

Just now, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

They don't want to deal with the backlash they will get when/if the story comes out so they are just going to say nothing.

I totally buy that they're going the 'less hassle' route. They'll select which parts they want to include in the show and call it a day.

[Hashtag Blessed]

5 minutes ago, SamiKatz said:

There are people on this board who have expressly said they hope Jill did have a hysterectomy, and have wished infertility on some of the Duggar woman (and Michael Bates), and that Jill, Jessa, Jinger and Joy should have no rights as victims of a crime that happened when they were minor children.  If you can say that about someone and believe it's okay because they are "public" people who have chosen to live their lives in the limelight, then you are no better than they are, as far as I'm concerned.

Correct me if I'm wrong but those people were largely down-voted and shouted down. I think people are entitled to wish ill on others if they want to. It isn't very nice, but wishing won't make it happen. I wish fewer children would be born into the cult too, but I would be really sad for any of them if they had to deal with infertility or a sudden hysterectomy. It may be a little wicked, but I don't think it makes you just as bad as people who have loudly and publicly perpetuated dangerous misinformation about trans people and birth control, among other things. 

[DillyDally]

Although it has been speculated on here quite a bit, there's this comment on her instagram that seems to confirm that Samuel had to stay in the hospital a bit longer than would be expected for a healthy newborn or at least had to stay longer than Jill. NOT speculating on what the issue might have been! I'm sure it will be revealed on Counting On in the season after next (because the next one is all about Joy planning her wedding. Snooze).

Spoiler

 

 

[Rachel333]

Interesting, from that blog:

Quote

They've also seen the Duggar family a couple times. They have been so kind and encouraging and have invited them to church! 

Written July 14.

[backyard sylph]

19 minutes ago, seraaa said:

@backyard sylph Women are only now more frequently starting to be identified as being on the spectrum, partly because we often don't present with the stereotypical profile, which was based upon the men among whom it was assumed to be more common. ASC's a lot more heterogenous than people may think.

I don't think I'd have got my diagnosis if I didn't have a family history. I resisted it initially, and what do you know, my family turned out to be correct in their assumption.  

I mean, same. It's very, very common  

I just read an article about the female thing yesterday. When I started school in 1970, only someone who was non-responsive or non-verbal would have been identified as such, to begin with. And people did say it was a boy thing. Well, I remember Glenda in kindergarten, who never spoke and colored only with the red crayon, no matter what was on the page. After awhile, she "went away."

I had only one sad face grade that whole year, and do you know, now I realize why, all of a sudden! But at the time I was very upset, because I knew I'd done all the correct matching. Only my lines were so ridiculous and crooked, they were all run together in the middle and the teacher couldn't tell. And I expect neatness was part of the expectation...The things we remember. :-)

[seraaa]

On 7/30/2017 at 4:00 PM, Nikedagain? said:

He would say "HANDS" and every child would stop stimming. It was kind of amazing. I do have very mixed feelings about it though...

As an autistic person, I concur with your mixed feelings. 

Cause,  on the one hand, it may genuinely be useful in life to learn to regulate the stim. In and of itself, it's not a bad thing. The self-control has various beneficial applications, from helping with life tasks to averting negative attention.

On the other hand, stimming feels good. It can be a stress or anxiety reliever, or a natural expression of emotion. The whole thing prompts questions about what the balance should be between striving to fit in with society's expected norms and practices, and what reasonable accommodations ought to be made for people by society. A stim, as long as nobody is being harmed, can be a good thing! 

I think, as far as possible, if children are going to be taught to self-regulate, they should also learn that the concept of stimming for relief  isn't necessarily bad and does not make them bad. The feelings of distress or shame when this happens aren't worth it. 

 

[missegeno]

35 minutes ago, Kak said:

@missegeno glad you got that off your chest?  Lol

Yes, haha! If only I could get a PSA out there and stop having this conversation. Lol.

[seraaa]

28 minutes ago, backyard sylph said:

I just read an article about the female thing yesterday. When I started school in 1970, only someone who was non-responsive or non-verbal would have been identified as such, to begin with. And people did say it was a boy thing. Well, I remember Glenda in kindergarten, who never spoke and colored only with the red crayon, no matter what was on the page. After awhile, she "went away."

I had only one sad face grade that whole year, and do you know, now I realize why, all of a sudden! But at the time I was very upset, because I knew I'd done all the correct matching. Only my lines were so ridiculous and crooked, they were all run together in the middle and the teacher couldn't tell. And I expect neatness was part of the expectation...The things we remember. :-)

Yes! So many people (women) in the past were just...missed. Or misdiagnosed. 

Hah, it is strange what can trigger long-buried memories!

[MadeItOut]

1 hour ago, Hashtag Blessed said:

True, it seems like some people are going to nitpick them to death no matter what they do. That's the thing about the internet. I suppose they have caught quite a lot of flack for literally everything over the years, and that is likely why they've grown less enthusiastic about publicly documenting their lives. But I maintain that Dirty Jesus could go back to working a salaried job and they could live a relatively private life, even if they are still on the show. They would no longer need to maintain a public social media presence to try to pull in donations for their extended praycation. But Dirty Jesus just HAS to keep tweeting vague bible verses at the heathens. 

On here there's also the prism effect of we all may have that one little thing that catches our eye, but en masse it becomes bigger.

[MsSaylor]

I definitely starting questioning if Im on the spectrum after my son was diagnosed. I think Im pretty borderline, probably not diagnosable but Im not sure. My biggest "female with ASD" red flags would be that Im bossy and somewhat rigid about certain things. I come off as rude without meaning to.  I do get a little obsessive and exclusive about my interests. I also have some sensory issues but nothing debilitating.  I have bad anxiety but it isnt constant, it has flare ups. I probably could be diagnosed with ADD. I struggle with some executive functioning skills but am able to overcome them if given a flexible enough environment. 

That sounds like a lot when I type it out. Heh. Ive thought about getting an eval but it doesnt seen entirely necessary. 

[seraaa]

20 minutes ago, MsSaylor said:

That sounds like a lot when I type it out. Heh. Ive thought about getting an eval but it doesnt seen entirely necessary. 

The benefits of a diagnosis, imo, are getting access to help that might not otherwise be available and the peace of mind that can be afforded by understanding something about yourself which you may not have done previously. It can be insightful. 

If you don't feel a diagnosis would do anything for you, though, that's also cool! 

Also, I constantly - and I don't think it's uncommon for some of us- question whether or not I'm autistic enough to count, and I have a diagnosis. It's a spectrum, and each person has a unique cluster of traits, but the powerful narrative rooted in the old stereotypes is strong