Dillards 34: Finding Contentment

[backyard sylph]

55 minutes ago, lomo6 said:

@singsingsing You bring up some interesting points about what happens when fundie ideology clashes with reality.  

Unfortunately Jill has a pretty terrible role model in Michelle.  After the experience with Josie, most women would probably never try again, or at least would wait for a few years to recover (and generally only if Josie was their only kid and they wanted to try for a sibling). 

But Michelle got pregnant with Jubilee after Josie had been out of the NICU for maybe a year, still in pretty fragile condition.  Plus, Michelle was in her mid-40s at that point, meaning that any pregnancy would be very high-risk, and she had already filled her quiver by any definition.  So if Michelle, 40-something mother of NINETEEN, didn't stop after an extremely complicated premature delivery in which she and her child could have died....what hope do we have for Jill, a 20-something mother of two whose primary life goal is to be fruitful and multiply?

Only the hope, I guess, that as she matures and watches her children grow, and further watches her mother age, she'll set some sort of limit of her own, that we might not ever know about. And it might be a limit we would still find absurd on the outside, but still her decision rather than her mother's.

[merg429]

I read the title of this new thread before catching up on the last one and thought they had released a statement!

[VelociRapture]

47 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

 Is it bad that I sometimes think of Katherine and her younger sister as 4a and 4b?

I don't think it is at all. If that has helped you cope in anyway over the years then I think that's a good thing. 

And you chose a beautiful name for your daughter. I've always loved the name Katherine.  

 

[Henk12]

I think it's weird that they haven't posted anything. Something seems off.

If Jill did have to have a hysterectomy or the drs told her not to have anymore kids and she listened, would they announce it? They'd have to, right? Everyone would be wondering why Jill and Derick stopped having kids. They might get away with not announcing a pregnancy for two years but after that people would start to wonder and talk. I don't think anyone is entitled to know but these people are not very modest or private and so it seems like they'd have to explain the situation at least somewhat and probably turn it into a religious lesson. 

[Carm_88]

58 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

Is it bad that I sometimes think of Katherine and her younger sister as 4a and 4b?

No, my paternal grandmother had her youngest son pass away a day after birth. She always referred to my Dad as her youngest living child. I think it's  nice way of remembering Katherine. 

[Buzzard]

2 minutes ago, Henk12 said:

I think it's weird that they haven't posted anything. Something seems off.

If Jill did have to have a hysterectomy or the drs told her not to have anymore kids and she listened, would they announce it? They'd have to, right? Everyone would be wondering why Jill and Derick stopped having kids. They might get away with not announcing a pregnancy for two years but after that people would start to wonder and talk. I don't think anyone is entitled to know but these people are not very modest or private and so it seems like they'd have to explain the situation at least somewhat and probably turn it into a religious lesson. 

Theyd milk it for all its worth.  They'd have a whole damned episode of Jill finding out, the family finding out, them praying... talking about "seasons of life," finding what god has in store for them, blah blah blah.  A tragedy such as that would be $$$$$

[Daisy0322]

Really I kinda think Jill is just upset about another c-section after trying again at home and baby Sammy probably had a common c-section complication like Transient tachypnea of the newborn or something and he went to the nicu to wait it out. Jill and Derek aren't the PR king and Queen Jessa and Ben are. After I have my baby I doubt I'll be thinking about much other than sleep and the baby lol I think it's more innocent than we are making it. Jill would still be affected in a sense because technically c-section equals less babies but that's not how these people think. They think God will provide, God has a plan, these doctors don't know what God can do, etc. so I doubt she is seeing this as the beginning of the end on the baby train if it is or not.

[TuringMachine]

I still can't get over how strange their gender (Sex) reveal photo was.
People had it again in Samuel's birth announcement. 

[Four is Enough]

I hope that Jill is ok, this silence is unusual. However, People might be cautioning media silence  or perhaps the Duggars won't get their front pages any more.

 

I wish the Dullards would just drop all of their media presence.. along with the rest of the clan. IF she had a complicated birth, IF she had a hysterectomy, it's NONE of my business anyway and I don't care.

[Jaedzia]

Some of this sharing reminds me of my paternal grandma. She lost her middle son at two years of age due to sepsis(same thing my daughter was born with but lived). Until her late 80s, she would go down monthly to the grave and clean it up and plant flowers. She would have kept doing it pass her late 80s except that the last time she went down she became so very ill that she ended up in the hospital. My uncle and father put their foot down and told her she just couldn't go anymore. I think it broke her heart. She passed away a few years later in her early 90s. Sometimes I feel my family is cursed with the number of babies that we have lost. My great-aunt, my grandma, my mother, and my sister. I'll count my blessings. 

My heart goes out to every member here who had to bury a child. I'm so very sorry. 

[shiverful]

2 hours ago, Buzzard said:

Theyd milk it for all its worth.  They'd have a whole damned episode of Jill finding out, the family finding out, them praying... talking about "seasons of life," finding what god has in store for them, blah blah blah.  A tragedy such as that would be $$$$$

This. I think they would find a way to "spin it" their way. This is God's way of saying that they should adopt or become full-time missionaries or something. 

Edit: that is not to say that I wish infertility problems on Jill. I grew up in a Christian cult in Norway. They are not exactly quiver full, but put a lot of emphasis on motherhood. My and only had one kid  and she was in many way treated as a second class woman. Luckily my parents escaped when I was young. I always found it weird that my aunt chose to stay in those conditions. 

[viii]

2 hours ago, TuringMachine said:

I still can't get over how strange their gender (Sex) reveal photo was.
People had it again in Samuel's birth announcement. 

Right?! I remember being on this board when they originally posted it and every speculated how disappointed they must be it wasn't a girl and so they grabbed one of Israel's outfits because it was just such a huge outfit and not a cute boy onesie. 

And then we find out they originally planned it like that! They had a whole scavenger hunt with it! It's just so bizarre. I like the idea of the hunt, but I wish the outfits had been cuter and more fitting to finding out the sex of the baby. 

[doubleT]

Yes, the gender reveal outfit still doesn't make too much sense.  But baby Samuel looks like he'll be wearing it in a couple of weeks or so.  

[justoneoftwo]

Just now, doubleT said:

Yes, the gender reveal outfit still doesn't make too much sense.  But baby Samuel looks like he'll be wearing it in a couple of weeks or so.  

Izzy was super big too, maybe they were worried a baby outfit would be too small.  It doesn't change the fact that they didn't seem excited about much this time around.

[dpndetfarm]

I heard that the delay is due to a mustard sweater dispute. Jill refuses to be photographed without it, Jessa is saying that Jinger took it to Babeland, Texas. Jinger  SEVERELY denies it, but I saw on Janacul8r's instagram a photo of what appeared to be a moldy yellowish cardigan going up in flames and a shadowy figure fiendishly cackling.*

 

*just lightening the mood.

[foreign fundie]

So here we are, the so called haters, fundie persecuters, liberals, feminists, all worrying our ass off about Jill being ok. I even hope the silence is all about people covers and TLC specials. Jill, with enemies like us you don't need friends. Sending you many wishes for a speedy recovery, because those two little boys will need you. 

[ClaraOswin]

Still no news, eh? I am also hoping it's just because they are holding out for a magazine cover or something. 

I do wonder how she is doing mentally after a 2nd c-section. It seems like for someone like her, it may be very hard to deal with. Especially right after her sister had a successful home birth.

[RhythmicSkater]

My friend's comment when I told her about all the Jill drama was unnerving; she basically said "well that's probably why they're keeping [Jana] single, as a replacement wife if one of the other girls dies in childbirth." I think she meant it as a joke, and it seems too slimy a thing even for the Duggars, but still a disturbing thought 

I'm sure Jill and Sammy are fine; they're prob holding out for a cover, or at least a major magazine story. With Derick's disregard for the safety of his family, I'm sure they'll be back in Sintrul America within a month. 

[Bad Wolf]

Barring complications, she should be home. I was 4 days with 1 and 3 with 2.

[Buzzard]

1 minute ago, Bad Wolf said:

Barring complications, she should be home. I was 4 days with 1 and 3 with 2.

For some reason I thought I saw a comment somewhere that Jill was home already "recovering" on Monday, but that seems WAY too soon.

[justoneoftwo]

1 minute ago, Bad Wolf said:

Barring complications, she should be home. I was 4 days with 1 and 3 with 2.

The Mayo Clinic claims the average hospital stay is 2 or 3 days.  I find that super short, I was in the hospital almost 2 days with my totally normal vaginal birth of a healthy child with little tearing.  I would expect abdominal surgery to require more . . . 

[Eternalbluepearl]

4 hours ago, TuringMachine said:

I still can't get over how strange their gender (Sex) reveal photo was.
People had it again in Samuel's birth announcement. 

I'm not over it either. The 2t random outfit on a hanger was so awkward and weird but then again so are Jill and Derek. 

[eleanora3]

We finally have some baby pics http://www.tlc.com/tv-shows/counting-on/photos/introducing-samuel-scott-dillard/?utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=TLC&utm_medium=social&utm_content=DCIobj - Page Views DCItype - Photo Galleries&sf97720884=1

[bananabread]

Really concerned for Jill after seeing the photos.

[NakedKnees]

1 hour ago, foreign fundie said:

So here we are, the so called haters, fundie persecuters, liberals, feminists, all worrying our ass off about Jill being ok. I even hope the silence is all about people covers and TLC specials. Jill, with enemies like us you don't need friends. Sending you many wishes for a speedy recovery, because those two little boys will need you. 

This is important! I know FJ is a lot of perspectives and a lot of things are said here, but I really, truly, hope this reality TV and ACTUAL family are okay, no matter what is or isn't going on. If any of you are reading here: there are a billion ways to birth or have a family, and to be a parent, and a Christian! You have options outside of the IBLP culture! There is a lot of love in the big bad world!