Aunt Lori Alexander 24: Wearing Shorts and Kicking Cats

[BlackberryGirl]

I posted to the young marriage thread. Let's see if it stays . This http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2014/02/teen-girls-stop-commonly-getting-married/

 

[Free Jana Duggar]

6 hours ago, crawfishgirl said:

This reminds me of that Vaughn Oldman debacle a year or so ago, when he tried to hold a conference to introduce people to promote young marriages.  http://letthemmarry.org/  He got a lot of pushback from it, and had to delete most of the articles off his website.

Yes, I believe it was the one that was to be held on a site owned by The Salvation Army.  When they heard the purpose, they refused to rent it out to them. I work for TSA, and they don't play when it comes to sex trafficking type stuff.  

 

[Free Jana Duggar]

2 hours ago, SuperNova said:

*bigdeepsigh* Oh Lori. Today's post makes me so sad. I was a sixteen year old mom. I was married at seventeen. The stress and challenges of trying to raise a child and be a wife at this age is beyond comprehension. I was tiny (98lbs) when I became pregnant and spent the last 3 months on bed rest and had a difficult labor. It is impossible to exaggerate the fear and despair I felt at being in a marriage with a baby at that age. 

Im so sick of Lori expounding on topics that are nothing more than a concept to her. She knows nothing of life or what the ideas she pushes actually look like in practice. No one, no matter how mature, is ready to deal with the complexities of parenthood and marriage at that age. 

So sorry to hear you had it so tough.  I had absolutely no desire for sex at 16.  I knew about it and was a little curious. My BFF and I would giggle and talk about it, but the thought of actually doing it scared me to death.  I never went past kissing until I was 20. Even then, I was nervous.

[Loveday]

50 minutes ago, BlackberryGirl said:

I posted to the young marriage thread. Let's see if it stays . This http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2014/02/teen-girls-stop-commonly-getting-married/

 

I doubt Lori will bother to read this article, but if she does, this 'bonus' fact at the end would probably blow her mind a little: "Marriages where both partners have a college degree only end in divorce about 25% of the time." 

As opposed to 41% for first time marriages (or 50%, as Lori is always quoting. She really needs to update her stash of statistics). 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

In my high school (rural South) there were a fair number of couples who married while still in high school. Nearly every case I can remember because the girl was pregnant.

98% of the ones I knew who married quit school, never finished high school, not even a GED.  Every couple I knew of, except 1, was divorced within 5 years. Case in point -- the valedictorian who married her boyfriend 2 weeks after graduation was divorced with 2 children and back living with her parents within 3 years.

The one couple who stayed together, is still together.  Probably because they only had the one child "prematurely" and because the husband sent the wife to college when she was in her late 20s.  I saw them at a reunion a few years ago.  Amazingly they are still crazy about each other and the hubby so, so proud of his wife, He exact words to me -- looking at her across the room were "Just look at her. Isn't she something. I am the luckiest man ever."

 They are the exception.

This goes without saying, but I will anyway -- Lori and today's guest blogger are idiots.

[NotQuiteMotY]

I'm pretty sure I've heard ideal age for childbearing as mid-twenties, since you're in about the peak of fertility while still having matured enough to eliminate several issues that come with young pregnancy.

7 hours ago, December said:

What's the problem? Everyone always gets along so well with their in-laws... (On a non-sarcastic note, this sounds horrific in so many ways.)

You know, I love my in-laws. I'm pretty sure living with them would make me hate them, though.

[EowynW]

You know, Lori supports kids marrying at 16. If she didn't then she wouldn't have posted that guest post. Another mark against her. 

[BlackSheep]

Samantha Bee recently did a piece on child marriage.

I don't normally watch her show and just happened to see this part of an episode when the DVRed show that we were watching ended. It raised some interesting - and at times infuriating - points.

Anyone who is advocating marriage for minors (looking at you Lori) and who wants to have an intelligent conversation about the topic (not Lori) should watch this. It's satire, but the points that it raises are real.

[SuperNova]

@BlackSheepThanks for the vid. It's official, Cassandra the Girl Scout is smarter than Lori.

[Celtic Rose]

're the post  marrying at 16 I seem to recall that the Alexander kids were not allowed to date until finished high school which would be 18 I assume.   Before that they could go out in groups of friends but no intentional dating.

Also the comment after Brian seems ok on the surface.  But the remark about the daughter being ok to stay at home until she got married under the "care & protection" of her father but the son could stay only if he contributed to the household expenses.  What is that all about. Is the daughter not expected to get a job.  What if she is at home for say 10 years doing what exactly?  I mean how long does it take to learn how to keep a house which she would probably know by 16 in case she were to get married at this age.  I stayed at home until I married at 27 but was working from 18 years old because my work was close by and gave my parents money each month from my wages.  

Bit like the Duggars.  I feel sorry for Jana as IMHO she is being kept from marriage to look after Jim Bob & Michelle when they are old.  I mean imagine being in your late 50's and not allowed to have a social media account and all the other restrictions they put on their single daughters

[BlackSheep]

Lori posted this:

Two women were having a discussion about it:

Spoiler

And then a guy jumps in to mansplain with a massive wall of text:

Spoiler

Note: This wall of text was too large for a screen shot. It goes on for several more lines.

[EowynW]

That man doesn't believe marital rape is possible. 

[Koala]

Has someone done a screen grab of the comment left 20 hours ago by "Mykal Gabor"?  He is sick.  Really scary sick.
The fact that Lori hasn't deleted it, or spoken out against what he said is downright scary. What does that tell us about her?

Jesus...these people are like a bunch of criminals.  What the hell is wrong with them??

1 hour ago, Celtic Rose said:

're the post  marrying at 16 I seem to recall that the Alexander kids were not allowed to date until finished high school which would be 18 I assume.   Before that they could go out in groups of friends but no intentional dating.

Oh, well that's easy to explain.  Lori wants other families to live the kind of life she "prescribes".  Her own family has money, so they're special.  They have their own set of rules:

Lori:

Quote

I didn't want them to date in high school, only in groups.  I didn't want them to be alone with members of the opposite sex when their hormones were raging and there was no way they could get married for several years.

Quote

When my children were in a position to marry, they usually date someone several times and know quite quickly if they are not "the one" and move on. 

By "in a position to marry", I can guaran.damn.tee you, she doesn't mean 16 years old.

In looking for that quote, I came across another.  Follow me on this:

Does everyone remember the story Lori wrote in her book, about the date that tried to force himself on her?

Then someone commented in the Amazon reviews, telling her how sorry they were that happened to her.  Lori flew completely off the handle and wrote the following post:

https://thetransformedwife.com/the-time-i-was-never-nearly-raped/

In it, she gives this account:

Quote

 He took me to the drive-in theater where, for you who are too young to know, we watched movies from the comfort of our car.

As the movie began, we snuggled up together and soon after, he began to kiss me. The next thing I knew he slowly push me over on my back, my feet still firmly planted on the floor of the car, and immediately I knew this was not something I wanted or was enjoying. I said to him, “I don’t want to do this. Please take me home now.”

Which is interesting, because if you look back to 2012, she tells this story:

Quote

When I finally got a date with my dream boyfriend, he picked me up completely drunk and took me to a wild party.  He then took me to a bedroom and I asked him to take me home.

Now, either Lori had two very similar experiences, or she is flat.out.lying to make a point.  In other words, both stories were made up, so Lori could make a post.

I honestly believe she made it up, and forgot the account she gave back in 2012.   Awkward.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Oddly she posted this commented. She has left up Mykal of course (use to be Stephen Martin, the snake of a guy changed his name). She hasn't responded to the many people on her post that want her to provide studies. 

[louisa05]

7 minutes ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Oddly she posted this commented. She has left up Mykal of course (use to be Stephen Martin, the snake of a guy changed his name). She hasn't responded to the many people on her post that want her to provide studies. 

"Mykal" is just short of advocating child rape/pedophilia in those comments. And the part where he says he knows this "from personal experience" in his "family and community" is the most disturbing. I feel like he should be in jail for the protection of young girls and women in his family and community. 

[mango_fandango]

Boys were the last thing on my mind at 12. I'd chosen an all-girls' secondary school partly because I found boys annoying in the way preteens do. Even now at 22 I'm not "hungry" for a guy. I'd like a boyfriend, sure, but I'm not desperate.

This dude has no idea. He is sick beyond words.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

"Mykal" is also advocating that girls are ready for motherhood at puberty.  In my day, most girls got their period between 12-14.  I understand that the age has dropped now to between 10-12, with cases of girls younger than 10.

So "Mykal" 'is advocating girls be married off when they are still children -- because I don't care if an 11 yr old has a period. she is A. Child. And no one, no one, especially "Mykal" should be having sex with a child.

Also, did you notice the comments which said, oh yea girls should be young, fresh and innocent (like 16) but the husbands should be older, more mature and established in work and how to "lead" a family.  Most comments cited 25-30 for a man.

So we've got fundies out there that think it's perfectly normal for a 30 year old man to marry a 16 year old girl. That's more than a little twisted.

[EowynW]

16 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

"Mykal" is also advocating that girls are ready for motherhood at puberty.  In my day, most girls got their period between 12-14.  I understand that the age has dropped now to between 10-12, with cases of girls younger than 10.

So "Mykal" 'is advocating girls be married off when they are still children -- because I don't care if an 11 yr old has a period. she is A. Child. And no one, no one, especially "Mykal" should be having sex with a child.

Also, did you notice the comments which said, oh yea girls should be young, fresh and innocent (like 16) but the husbands should be older, more mature and established in work and how to "lead" a family.  Most comments cited 25-30 for a man.

So we've got fundies out there that think it's perfectly normal for a 30 year old man to marry a 16 year old girl. That's more than a little twisted.

And Lori advocates that by allowing the comments to stay. 

[polecat]

It doesn't surprise me in the least that MRAs and Lori-types are advocating for this type of thing. 

Studies have shown that molestation and childhood sexual abuse is associated with early puberty in girls. Of course, childhood sexual abuse survivors suffer a lot more than just that. According to the NIH, 

Quote

Childhood sexual contact ... was associated with a variety of sexual consequences, including hyper-sexual behavior, adult sexual victimization, and sexual problems that included genitor-urinary symptoms, STIs, and sexual dysfunction. 

And they're highly vulnerable to revictimization: 

Quote

 

Those with a prior history of sexual victimization are extremely likely to be re-victimized. Some research estimates an increased risk of over 1000%.

A child who is the victim of prolonged sexual abuse usually develops low self-esteem, a feeling of worthlessness and an abnormal or distorted view of sex. The child may become withdrawn and mistrustful of adults, and can become suicidal (page 1).

 

So yeah, I just bet Lori's type and MRAs are just slavering in the wings at the thought of getting their nasty paws on these 12 yos whose parents are so desperate to "marry them off" because no normal, psychologically healthy parents would ever consider such a thing.

[SweetLaurel]

Ugh - its just a sign of something seriously wrong when hanging out on the Naugler thread feels cleaner than Lori's. 

 

[EowynW]

I knew it. 

[onemama]

2 hours ago, BlackSheep said:

Lori posted this:

 

Well Lori, some simple explanations I can find for not entertaining men would be:

from your "about" page

Quote

My ministry is based upon Titus 2:3-5 in which God commands that older women teach younger women to be sober, love and obey their husbands, love their children, be chaste, discreet, good, and keepers at home. If you would love to learn and grow in these areas and allow God's Word and His ways to transform your marriage and your life, please join me as I teach you 

Your blog is a teaching blog for women, not men. 

- You refuse to tell women how their husbands ought to treat them because, as you say, it's unhelpful.  They can't change their husbands.  And you are correct about that last point. A wife, no matter how hard she may try, will never be able to change her husband.  So why would you feed that kind of unhappiness to men?  The men who post on your blog are generally unhappy with their marriages and their wives. They blame their wives for everything that's going wrong, and you're fueling their unhappiness because you won't tell them to look at themselves and change their own behavior.  Because you won't teach men. And your husband won't, either. 

Make up your mind, Lori, you either teach women only and keep this thing as close to your interpretation of Titus 2, or go beyond the few verses, get your husband on board, and set up a Titus 2 ministry blog to teach all younger people, both men and women.  

ken could work on being " temperate, worthy of respect, self-controlled, and sound in faith, in love and in endurance."

You could work on being "reverent in the way they (you) live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good." 

Then Ken can work on teaching the Daves, Treys, "Mikals" and Tiny Tims to be self-controlled. 7 In everything setting them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness 8 and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed because they have nothing bad to say about us.

You make a huge deal about the Word of God not being blasphemed by unsubmissive wives, but a man's lack of self-control and older men not being a good example to the younger men also brings bad repute to the Gospel.  

 

 

[polecat]

So Lori preaches "self-control" when it comes to food, but apparently, people (men especially) cannot be expected to maintain control of their "burning"? 

And women are out-of-control horny-pants ... until they get married, at which point, they become icebergs that must be forced to "give" sex to their husbands? 

I hope she donates her brain to science when she dies.

 

[louisa05]

So there are no Bible verses about men commenting on women's blogs? Hmm...I'm amazed that the Bible does not specifically address rules for blogging. What an oversight.

Does she not realize how ridiculous that declaration sounds? 

And @polecat, I feel like that would be a very small donation. 

[onemama]

@polecat Older men are also given a "command" in the same passage Lori bases her "ministry" upon:  teach younger men to be self-controlled.  One sign of spiritual maturity in a man is his self-control. Another, his love. 

I don't think Ken is very concerned with attending his "calling" as an older man. It's so much easier to rail against the women on his wife's blog, I guess.