Lori Alexander 19: Hating Birth Control, Consistency, and Logic

[EowynW]

Y'all need to go see the pathetic excuse for happy Mother's Day Lori posted 

[louisa05]

Well, that was uplifting. 

Again, why is the husband expected to parent the wife? Why is that okay? Because telling someone what to eat, wear, do, think, and punishing them (perhaps even physically) when they do not comply is authoritarian parenting, not anything resembling an adult relationship. 

She doesn't even see how illogical it all is. None of them do. 

[lilwriter85]

On 5/13/2017 at 7:10 PM, desertvixen said:

Even if the wife's income pays for luxuries, so what? 

Also, do any of these people think about stuff like Social Security credits and elderly women living in poverty?  Oh wait, that's what the kids are for (after you beat them over raisans)...

A year ago, some guy on Facebook gave Lori smackdown on one of her income related posts. She did the same thing where she claimed that  working women use their pay checks to buy designer clothes and other material things. The guy told Lori that his wife enjoyed working and that he didn't care if she wanted to use some of her hard earned money on designer clothes or other things.

But, I agree if a wife's income pays for luxuries or whatever that's fine. As other posters have mentioned Lori has luxury items. She's talked about having an iPad, computer, $70 skirt, jewelry, trips to Hawaii and other places with her family. She isn't some woman with very few material items living on one household income.

Another thing that pisses me off about Lori is that she fails to see that sometimes a working mother can bring additional financial security and benefits to a family. A friend of mine is married to man who owns a HVAC business. She has worked healthcare first as an X-ray tech and now a phlebotomist at the same hospital for over 20 years. Her husband business does well. But, if he had to pay for health insurance costs it would be probably high. She carries the health insurance for the family. Of course, Lori would argue that it's the man's role to provide health insurance. 

As for elderly women living in poverty I've seen a few of those situations. My parents have a friend who is 63 and is trying to get back in the work force. Her husband ended up with dementia at age 58 and she cared for him up until his death last summer. She had worked off and on while her kids were growing up. Then when her daughter started her own family. She quit her job to babysit her children. She didn't have a lot of Social Security credits. Her husband received SSDI in the last years of his life. They still struggled.  On Lori's blog posting, Happy Mama talks about living off her husband's SSDI. I have known other couples in which a spouse receives SSDI and usually the other spouse works mostly because they can't live off SSDI comfortably. Also, having a disability or health issue brings added expenses that might not be covered by insurance or government programs. My cousin's husband is on SSDI due to mental illness. She uses some of her income to cover additional therapy sessions for her husband. Another couple that I'm friends with has a disabled child. Both spouses worked before that child's birth and continued working. They have paid out of pocket for things that their insurance company didn't cover.

Sadly, a good portion of Lori's fangirls will be living in poverty in their golden years. Some of them will probably try to get their adult kids to support them and that's probably not going to go over well in some families. Some spouses hate having to support elderly in-laws and sometimes there isn't enough for a grown man to support his family plus an elderly parent. There's always the chance that Lori and her fangirls may outlive one of their children or that their adult children could end up in poverty for different reasons.

[feministxtian]

4 hours ago, louisa05 said:

 

Well, that was uplifting. 

Again, why is the husband expected to parent the wife? Why is that okay? Because telling someone what to eat, wear, do, think, and punishing them (perhaps even physically) when they do not comply is authoritarian parenting, not anything resembling an adult relationship. 

 

I had parents, they sucked. But...I'm all grown up now. I don't do well with being given orders (see sucky parents). I'm kind of a bitch that way. I had an X who tried that shit...it didn't work too well. 

[laPapessaGiovanna]

On 13/5/2017 at 4:56 AM, usmcmom said:

Spoiler

 

"I see your dirty soul Lori!"

I love her!

[Imrlgoddess]

IFC ran an all day Mommy Dearest marathon. I've read the book many times but had never seen the film. Now Joan Crawford would have been significantly older than Lori but I immediately thought of her as the movie has progressed. The perfectionism. The sick definition of "discipline". The vanity and narcissism. Imagine if Lori had been a drunk or in a position of power... I'm not convinced she's not a pill addict. I don't buy her neck issue as she describes it.  

Lori's particular brand of crazy became fundamentalist religion, but it's got many forms. 

ETA: I doubt Lori has had to balance a checkbook beyond her single moment in time (if she did it then) so of course in her mind one income is enough. She's never had to live on a budget so she thinks it's easy.

[Curious]

On 5/13/2017 at 9:50 AM, usmcmom said:

I know I referred to them as doodles early on; but I am not sure how the name stuck. I agree with the definition of "doodle" that you shared. When I first used the term for Lori's notebooks, I was thinking of her mental state and how her thoughts are rarely coherent, cohesive and meaningful. I believe all of Lori's thoughts are doodles. 

 

Thanks @usmcmom I'm glad to know it's an FJism vs something Lori dreamed up.  I agree that her mental process is pretty much a doodle

I am still trying to figure out why she writes stuff out in a notebook to post on the internet when she could just type it up for her post.

[lilwriter85]

3 hours ago, Imrlgoddess said:

IFC ran an all day Mommy Dearest marathon. I've read the book many times but had never seen the film. Now Joan Crawford would have been significantly older than Lori but I immediately thought of her as the movie has progressed. The perfectionism. The sick definition of "discipline". The vanity and narcissism. Imagine if Lori had been a drunk or in a position of power... I'm not convinced she's not a pill addict. I don't buy her neck issue as she describes it.  

Lori's particular brand of crazy became fundamentalist religion, but it's got many forms. 

ETA: I doubt Lori has had to balance a checkbook beyond her single moment in time (if she did it then) so of course in her mind one income is enough. She's never had to live on a budget so she thinks it's easy.

I think Lori is a narcissist. I have a friend who has told me a lot about her paternal grandmother who is believed by most people in the family to be narcissist. The grandmother is 83 and she verbally abused home health care workers. Two workers filed grievance with home care agencies and Medicare last year.  I see Lori being like that if she lives to be that old.

When it comes to finances Ken probably handles everything. During his time on FJ, he mentioned how he clashed with Lori regarding her spending money on organic food and expensive supplements. He did mention that he was worried about his retirement fund because of that. In a way, I feel sorry for Ken. He didn't grow up in an upper middle class and might have been taught to be careful with money. He ended up married to spoiled princess Lori. I still dislike Ken, but maybe he would have better off married to a woman from a similar background.

[usmcmom]

7 minutes ago, lilwriter85 said:

I think Lori is a narcissist. I have a friend who has told me a lot about her paternal grandmother who is believed by most people in the family to be narcissist. The grandmother is 83 and she verbally abused home health care workers. Two workers filed grievance with home care agencies and Medicare last year.  I see Lori being like that if she lives to be that old.

When it comes to finances Ken probably handles everything. During his time on FJ, he mentioned how he clashed with Lori regarding her spending money on organic food and expensive supplements. He did mention that he was worried about his retirement fund because of that. In a way, I feel sorry for Ken. He didn't grow up in an upper middle class and might have been taught to be careful with money. He ended up married to spoiled princess Lori. I still dislike Ken, but maybe he would have better off married to a woman from a similar background.

I agree with you that Lori is probably a narcissist. Ken is extremely self centered; that's for sure.  I cannot imagine growing up with that combination as parents.  

I also believe that Ken is actually afraid of Lori. I think she probably can still make things quite miserable in their home and he's learned to walk softly. That's why, in my opinion, he doesn't interfere with the really extreme comments we've been seeing from Trey and his ilk. I think that's why Ken likely still fixes his own meals too. As long as Lori is left alone to monitor her blog and The Tittle Tattle Chat Room, she will give home his five minutes of sex every other morning and then they both go about their separate lives. 

There's no way anybody could convince me that Lori is a submissive wife or that Ken is the "command man" they both claim he is. 

[SuperNova]

There's only one reason I feel sorry for Ken. When you are manipulated into a marriage of convenience, the person that manipulates you robs you of the chance of finding a real loving and caring relationship. It removes the true essence of what marriage should be. Ken is a paycheck and he knows it. How much of his situation has poisoned his heart into accepting Lori's hate?

[Curious]

On 5/11/2017 at 1:06 PM, Koala said:

Ken's weighed in with his usual weirdness.

Ken?  He's 30.  You aren't a "team".  He doesn't even live in the same state.  

I swear these people have no concept of boundaries.  It's just creepy.

 

I can understand posting a little something to your kid(s) on their birthday(s), but for public consumption, why make it so freaking personal?  For all the talk of modesty, fundies are really bad at the actual practice.  There is mroe to it than not showing your boobs and knees

[Koala]

I thought Lori was supposed to be mentoring (and sometimes even counseling) women.

In the comments of Saturday's (beyond stupid) "you can survive on one income, no matter how small" post, she is confronted by 2 women living in situations that don't allow them to live on one income.  One goes as far as to ask for practical solutions.  Lori offers none.  She hurls Bible verses and admonishes them to pray.  

How is that helpful?  How is that counseling?  How is that mentoring?

Tina says:

Quote

We are are family of 6. My husband’s salary is $2,900 a month. How can we live off this income in Los Angeles, CA? I have looked around and we can find a one bedroom apartment to rent for $1,500 a month. A two bedroom will cost us $2,000 a month. I refuse to live on government assistance. The only problem is that we need to find someone to rent a one bedroom to a 6 member family. I have been full of anxiety over this. I have not moved to CA yet. I am currently living in another state. We live on 14 acres in a 3400 square foot house. Our mortgage is $600 a month. I have stayed home with our children for the past 9 years. It has been so wonderful to stay home.
The other thing I have a problem with is that I feel that my husband has not really thought this whole thing out. I am fine to stay in another state free from the stress of big city life.

Reply

Lori has posted asserting that you can live on one income.  This woman is asking her how to do it.

Lori's reply?

Quote

Keep praying about it and giving it to the Lord, Tina.

Tina replies again, going into detail about all of the things they go without.  Lori?  Well, Lori offers NOT ONE SINGLE solution to Tina's problem.  Nothing.  She again replies:

Quote

Keep trusting him with your future then, Tina. You are doing your part so trust Him with His part!

(Insert a bunch of Bible verses HERE.  These verses will do absolutely nothing to change Tina's situation, but since Lori has NO CLUE what to tell her, she just hurls verses at her.  That helps.)

Another reader confronted her as well, and Lori did (very helpfully) suggest that the woman quit her job and allow the church to support her family.  The writer replied that her church would not go for such a plan, so Lori went all *crickets* on her. 

This is beyond irresponsible, and beyond ridiculous.  Lori has no business calling herself a mentor.

[EowynW]

I think she deleted all of those comments. 

 

Today's post is amusing. Even though I'm primary at home right now (I work part time from home) I personally find homework dull and not mentally stimulating. I look to outside sources hobbies, & education to keep me sharp and creative. i have never been one of "oh I just loveeeeeee homemaking" types of girls and I have never seen the appeal in loving and saying housework is your sole job and amusement. 

Also, Lori's poor handling of scripture is appalling. She is an excellent fundie for sure. 

[lilwriter85]

2 hours ago, Koala said:

I thought Lori was supposed to be mentoring (and sometimes even counseling) women.

In the comments of Saturday's (beyond stupid) "you can survive on one income, no matter how small" post, she is confronted by 2 women living in situations that don't allow them to live on one income.  One goes as far as to ask for practical solutions.  Lori offers none.  She hurls Bible verses and admonishes them to pray.  

How is that helpful?  How is that counseling?  How is that mentoring?

Tina says:

Lori has posted asserting that you can live on one income.  This woman is asking her how to do it.

Lori's reply?

Tina replies again, going into detail about all of the things they go without.  Lori?  Well, Lori offers NOT ONE SINGLE solution to Tina's problem.  Nothing.  She again replies:

Another reader confronted her as well, and Lori did (very helpfully) suggest that the woman quit her job and allow the church to support her family.  The writer replied that her church would not go for such a plan, so Lori went all *crickets* on her. 

This is beyond irresponsible, and beyond ridiculous.  Lori has no business calling herself a mentor.

The comments on the blog are still up.  It's yet another thing that shows how fucking stupid Lori is. She gives no advice except to pray. I'm curious to why that woman and her family are moving from area with $600 mortgage to LA which has higher cost of living. The woman shouldn't be moving there unless she is willing to get a job imo.

 

 

I looked at the Facebook comments and a guy left this comment
 

Quote

We have one income, and have also had a little help from family. With children as dependents you also get quite a bit back from the IRS and that helps considerably. It's not as hard as some people say. Thank you for the post.

 

I have the feeling that the guy probably gets regular help from family.

FB comment from a SAHM

Quote

it CAN be done,my boys are 14 and 17,and I have always been home with them, and homeschooled for 9 years now.We don't take fancy vacations or drive new cars,but it is SO worth it

Funny thing is that I know some two income families that can't afford fancy vacations or new cars. I fucking hate the belief that Lori and her fans have about all two income families having fancy vacations and getting new cars every few years. Also, in some areas you are better off trying to buy new cars at least every ten years due to weather conditions. Road salt tears up cars. I get that not everyone can afford brand new cars. But, if you are buying a new car for safety reasons that isn't materialistic.

[EowynW]

We don't even have kids yet and still can't afford fancy vacations. The only time we stayed in a hotel has been for our honeymoon. It's been camping the rest of the time. 

[Coy Koi]

Lori is such a deeply, intensely unpleasant person. I have no doubt that she has a personality disorder. However, I'm quite sure that John Shrader and Jill Rodrigues also have personality disorders (along with a lot of others we discuss here, no doubt) but even though those people often piss me off, I sometimes also laugh and have fun discussing their craziness. Lori is different. Even just discussing her with like-minded smart, funny ladies (or men, of course, if there are any here on this thread) is almost pure misery.

That's just to spend a few minutes a day talking or thinking about her. I honestly can't imagine how much misery she must bring to anyone closely associated with her.

I did once know a woman who used to spread this type of negativity and she drove me out of my fucking mind. And I only had to talk to her a few hours a week. She was also very religious but mean. I referred to her as Crazy Racist Lady and she was one of the most draining people I've ever had the displeasure to associate with.

No one would ever accuse me of being a ray of sunshine. So when I say someone is an emotional black hole, they are! Lori is just really, really awful. So is Ken, he's just not USUALLY as in-your-face with it, but let's never forget that he's a child molestation apologist. They are both monsters.

[EowynW]

I think she's an emotional vampire. 

[Coy Koi]

6 minutes ago, EowynW said:

I think she's an emotional vampire. 

She is for SURE an emotional vampire. I just called John Shrader that the other day I think, so I didn't want to say it again too soon even though I was thinking it. Sometimes I get self-conscious about weird things like oh gosh, are you guys going to think I think EVERYONE is an emotional vampire? But I don't. Just Lori, John, Jill, my ex, Trump, and Kanye. Hey, not my fault if there are a lot of emotional vampires out there!

[Chocolatedefrauded]

there ARE a lot of emotional vampires out there. Once you know what the signs are, you give it the proper name. I'd guess the rigid fundie lifestyle might bring it out in people. Big families, not a lot of nurturing by adults, strict rules, sounds like a breeding ground for all sorts of emotional & mental issues!

[EowynW]

1 minute ago, Chocolatedefrauded said:

there ARE a lot of emotional vampires out there. Once you know what the signs are, you give it the proper name. I'd guess the rigid fundie lifestyle might bring it out in people. Big families, not a lot of nurturing by adults, strict rules, sounds like a breeding ground for all sorts of emotional & mental issues!

Being raised strict fundies doesn't do you any favors for sure. There was a lot I had to sort out when I left. And there were some tendencies I saw in myself that were products of my raising that horrified me that I had to correct. 

[Georgiana]

4 minutes ago, Chocolatedefrauded said:

there ARE a lot of emotional vampires out there. Once you know what the signs are, you give it the proper name. I'd guess the rigid fundie lifestyle might bring it out in people. Big families, not a lot of nurturing by adults, strict rules, sounds like a breeding ground for all sorts of emotional & mental issues!

A lot of phenomenons like vampirism, witch hunting, etc. develop due to a deadly mix of repression of a particular group of people and religion.  

You take away ALL agency from certain people.  Well, people NEED some manner of agency and control over their lives.  So then what happens?

Those people start to seek approved or at least not prohibited methods of regaining power and agency.  This can be subconscious.  But when all healthy methods of asserting power and agency are taken, those people are only left with unhealthy ones.

And so they become emotional vampires, witch hunters, etc.

My high school history teacher once said about the girls who started the Salem Witch Trials: "They didn't WANT a witch hunt, they WANTED to be heard...and this was the only way their society would allow them to speak.  So they took it."  

[December]

1 hour ago, lilwriter85 said:

Funny thing is that I know some two income families that can't afford fancy vacations or new cars. I fucking hate the belief that Lori and her fans have about all two income families having fancy vacations and getting new cars every few years.

Agreed! Some of the comments seem like projection.

Every major decision a person makes has some trade-offs, and they seem to believe that it's largely new cars, vacations, and other luxuries. And that's true for plenty of families. But they don't seem to count the other trade-offs of a single income household, like financial stability if dad's laid off, gets sick/disabled, or dies. They seem to not comprehend that many people prioritize differently from them. Sure, for some families two incomes might be helping the priority of owning nicer possessions, but they never seem to talk about the more boring benefits like if the woman's job offers nicer health insurance, or how it enables a couple to save more for retirement or college funds. Even if I wouldn't choose to do the same, I can still understand why some families would want to have a SAHM. But these posters seem to have decided that all these straw man two-income households are absolutely choosing the wrong things for themselves. 

Also, the idea that a SAHM is some magic bullet for the woes of modern life is ridiculous. It's a choice like any other. For some families, it can work out great: awesome! But it's not a recipe for happiness for all families (and all women, in particular). Not to mention, it's not like all children will definitely resent working mothers and agree with SAHMs' choices. I know people from families where the mom worked that have close, harmonious family relationships as adults, as well as people whose moms stayed at home and have fragmented, distant relationships. And vice versa. It's almost like everyone's situation isn't identical! 

[DinglyDoll]

4 hours ago, Koala said:

In the comments of Saturday's (beyond stupid) "you can survive on one income, no matter how small." 

This is beyond irresponsible, and beyond ridiculous.  Lori has no business calling herself a mentor.

Lori shouldn't mislead people when she obviously has no clue what the fu@# she's talking about! Trying to live in L.A. on a low income puts you in gang-ridden neighborhoods, bad schools, and crowded surroundings. We got into a nice neighborhood outside of L.A. when houses were sort of affordable--it has tripled in price now. You have to make at least $90,000.00/year to live decently, and that's with used cars, few vacations, sparing entertainment, and thrift shop clothing. It's hard to save and buy a house even on that salary. L.A. is expensive! I hate that Christian fundamentalists push the stay-home mom thing so much. We would have been a lot better off financially if I hadn't quit working, and I would have been a LOT happier. Instead, they should help women figure out how best to use their gifts (and education if they have any) in the world, and how to hire help around their homes. After all, the Proverbs woman was a business woman who had help. The Jewish culture is so much more affirming of women and education!

 

[December]

6 minutes ago, DinglyDoll said:

You have to make at least $90,000.00/year to live decently, and that's with used cars, few vacations, sparing entertainment, and thrift shop clothing. It's hard to save and buy a house even on that salary. L.A. is expensive!

I think it's no shock that most of them live in less costly areas of the country.

[DinglyDoll]

1 minute ago, December said:

I think it's no shock that most of them live in less costly areas of the country.

I was thinking of the woman who said her husband wanted to move from their farm to L.A. Bad, bad move. I wanted to respond to her, but I can't leave comments, and I am not signing up for crazy Lori's abusive blog spew.