Lori Alexander 19: Hating Birth Control, Consistency, and Logic

[Imrlgoddess]

I don't understand her fixation with the idea that women only work for excessive nice things.  I try to think maybe it's a result of where she lives.  She's in a nice, wealthier section of SoCal so what she sees is either women similar to her who stay home and do the domestic thing (religion driven or not) or the ones who pursue careers and balance a family.  So her assumption is that since this is what she sees then obviously the entire world is like that.  I have been guilty of the same mindset and have been, subsequently, called out for it.  (unlike Lori, I adjusted myself accordingly)

I have no doubt there isn't a large number of working moms who would love to find a way to be home more, but a home that is not stable is just as damaging to children as they claim a working mother to be.  She pushes stay at home jobs for the singles, ok.  The ones they would have a mother do are typically MLM's.  Most of them have a $750-1000 buy in and then you have to push that shit anywhere you can to make enough money to get by on.  A medical coder and a computer tech both need higher than a diploma/GED, and school is ebil.  Seamstress' and tailors are not in demand like they used to be, and women don't take in washing/ironing anymore.  And honestly, who can devote 8-10 hours a day at home with 2-5 children pulling on you at any one time?  Oh and they're supposed to home school the children all at the same time! Michelle Duggar is only listed as a real estate agent so she can sign paperwork for her husband, she's probably never actually shown a house beyond driving one of her daughters to the one they are about to take possession of.  

She makes me think of a popular joke we have down here:

A hurricane is coming and an old lady is stuck in her house.  A group of folks come with 4-wheelers and trucks and tell her to come on, we'll take you to safety.  "No, the Lord is going to protect me".  The water rises, a boat comes for her, she says the same thing.  Several hours later she's on the roof and a helicopter comes for her, "Lady get in!  You're going to drown!" She says, "the Lord will save me".  She  drowns and goes to heaven, she looks at God and asks why he let her drown?  The Lord looked at her and said, "woman I sent you a truck, a boat, and a helicopter, what else did you want??"

If God gives you a capable mind and body, use it.  

[lilwriter85]

54 minutes ago, December said:

I think it's no shock that most of them live in less costly areas of the country.

 

51 minutes ago, DinglyDoll said:

I was thinking of the woman who said her husband wanted to move from their farm to L.A. Bad, bad move. I wanted to respond to her, but I can't leave comments, and I am not signing up for crazy Lori's abusive blog spew.

 

Living on one income in many low cost of living areas has been ok for some of the fundies we discuss on FJ. I still get annoyed when Boob Duggar wrote  some kind of money management article for Yahoo and he bragged about how he bought a house in cash. People commented on yahoo saying that buying in a house isn't possible in many areas due to higher cost of living in many areas.

 

The moving to L.A .woman also said that she and her husband are careful about spending money and how they have cut corners like the kids not having cells, no cable, and spending $600/month on groceries. That probably works well in their current location. It's not going to help that much in L.A.  Maybe, if Tina goes to message boards like City Data she will get a hard smack in the face from the L.A. or southern California posters.

[lilwriter85]

1 hour ago, Imrlgoddess said:

I don't understand her fixation with the idea that women only work for excessive nice things.  I try to think maybe it's a result of where she lives.  She's in a nice, wealthier section of SoCal so what she sees is either women similar to her who stay home and do the domestic thing (religion driven or not) or the ones who pursue careers and balance a family.  So her assumption is that since this is what she sees then obviously the entire world is like that.  I have been guilty of the same mindset and have been, subsequently, called out for it.  (unlike Lori, I adjusted myself accordingly)

I have no doubt there isn't a large number of working moms who would love to find a way to be home more, but a home that is not stable is just as damaging to children as they claim a working mother to be.  She pushes stay at home jobs for the singles, ok.  The ones they would have a mother do are typically MLM's.  Most of them have a $750-1000 buy in and then you have to push that shit anywhere you can to make enough money to get by on.  A medical coder and a computer tech both need higher than a diploma/GED, and school is ebil.  Seamstress' and tailors are not in demand like they used to be, and women don't take in washing/ironing anymore.  And honestly, who can devote 8-10 hours a day at home with 2-5 children pulling on you at any one time?  Oh and they're supposed to home school the children all at the same time! Michelle Duggar is only listed as a real estate agent so she can sign paperwork for her husband, she's probably never actually shown a house beyond driving one of her daughters to the one they are about to take possession of.  

 

I also think that her location plays into it. She knows upper middle class families in which both spouses work and thinks it's just so they can have more things. She doesn't know everything that goes on in other families and why some women in different economic classes chose to work.

Lori will never realize that as a SAHM she has had it pretty good compared to some or possibly most of her fangirls. One of Lori's fangirls said on FB that her family doesn't take fancy vacations because she is a SAHM. We know Lori and Ken go on vacations almost every year. They live in an upper middle class suburb and Ken probably pays high property taxes. Their kids attended a private Christian high school, her two sons spent four years at Christian college and Cassi spent some time at the same college. I'm also betting that Ken and Lori probably spent money on Alyssa's dance classes when she was a child and teen. Lori has also talked about how her sons played sports and surfed. Sporting equipment, surf boards and driving kids around costs money and some fundie families wouldn't be to afford stuff like that.

 

ETA: Lori is fucking clueless when it comes to working from home. A friend of mine does online tutoring from home. She has a toddler and her MIL or neighbor comes over and watches the toddler while my friend is upstairs working. I work from home most of the time and while I don't have kids, I'm still not spending all day cleaning the house.

[EowynW]

I would feel so guilty accepting money from the church if I was able bodied and could work and help my husband. It'd be very selfish, lazy and entitled of me to take it and I'd rather it be given to the elderly, disabled or other struggling person. 

[Koala]

Lori Alexander:

Quote

Ken always thought I wanted granite counter tops in my kitchen with gorgeous stainless steel appliances. I don't. I never have but after watching that show, I realized if I did get those counter tops and appliances, they wouldn't make me any happier. Stuff never makes anyone happier.

Lori Alexander:

Quote

My new kitchen sink with newly painted cupboards and granite countertops! Now, we are waiting for the tile guy to do the backsplash and painters to paint the walls a warm beige! 

 

[Free Jana Duggar]

Since Lori thinks SAHMs are the answer to all the problems in the world, I wonder how she would explain my husband having a SAHM and now he can't stand her.  I had an evil working mother (who was also a single, teenage mother) who left me in evil daycare and we are very close.  

[Chocolatedefrauded]

7 hours ago, Georgiana said:

My high school history teacher once said about the girls who started the Salem Witch Trials: "They didn't WANT a witch hunt, they WANTED to be heard...and this was the only way their society would allow them to speak.  So they took it."  

This is interesting. I've read a couple of books about the Salem witch trials, including the one about the spoiled rye causing hallucinations or something. It was odd that most of the people mentioned were odd or unfavored in society, outspoken or unusual in some way. One theory was that it was a way to settle scores, steal property legally. I really wonder about it, teen girls lived a life of drugery & boredom.

[usmcmom]

1 hour ago, Koala said:

Lori Alexander:

Lori Alexander:

 

Um....why didn't they paint BEFORE installing the countertops??  Can you imagine the wrath of Lori if those poor painters drip onto her new surface??

We did a small kitchen upgrade last winter. We did get new counter tops but not granite. Anyway, we tore all the old stuff out then had the painters come in and paint so they would have an easier time. Then we had the new countertops installed. The painters gladly came back for touch-ups. 

I really feel for the people working for Ken and Lori Alexander. I can't imagine how snotty they must be as clients.  Also, what if, like in our case, one of the sub contractors is a woman?? She was the one who came in and measured everything, showed me all my options for countertops, sink, etc and then scheduled the job. Would Ken have called her a Whore of Babylon and booted her out the door?? 

[feministxtian]

When we redid our kitchen in our old house, I did ALL the design, cabinet, counter and appliance selection. Hubs and I did ALL the demolition too (that was LOTS of fun). THEN the walls got painted...after the wallpaper got stripped off (god it was gross). We had the cabinets and counters professionally installed...hubs did the flooring then we had the appliances delivered. God I miss that kitchen. Cranberry walls, hickory cabinets and flooring (laminate), granite countertops and high end stainless appliances. That's 40 grand I'll never get back...

[Imrlgoddess]

  @feministxtian  at least you appreciated what you had and even what you have today. That's a humility Lori will never know. 

[lilwriter85]

4 hours ago, EowynW said:

I would feel so guilty accepting money from the church if I was able bodied and could work and help my husband. It'd be very selfish, lazy and entitled of me to take it and I'd rather it be given to the elderly, disabled or other struggling person. 

I would feel the same way. I could totally understand seeking help from a church if there was job loss and you needed to catch up on bills or lets say a couple has a hard time finding employment. Or, let's say one spouse is ill and the other spouses quit to take care of the former for a temporary period. Lori has the dumb fuck belief that churches will support women be SAHMs for years and years. Shit like that doesn't happen. I doubt Lori has ever looked at the financial reports at any of he churches she has attended. We all know Lori and Ken don't tithe so that shows they really don't care about the financial statuses of churches.

[feministxtian]

Just now, Imrlgoddess said:

  @feministxtian  at least you appreciated what you had and even what you have today. That's a humility Lori will never know. 

Although the layout of the kitchen was not exactly my taste (I prefer a more open floorplan), I did the best I could with what I had...a big 12 x 12 room that was hideous when we bought the house. Maybe if we had stayed in the house, I'd have done more remodeling...I could have knocked out the ceiling between downstairs and upstairs on that side and made it just a big open space...or maybe a loft instead. But, it's gone, and we will go onward and upward...

[KDA]

19 hours ago, lilwriter85 said:

 

Funny thing is that I know some two income families that can't afford fancy vacations or new cars. I fucking hate the belief that Lori and her fans have about all two income families having fancy vacations and getting new cars every few years. Also, in some areas you are better off trying to buy new cars at least every ten years due to weather conditions. Road salt tears up cars. I get that not everyone can afford brand new cars. But, if you are buying a new car for safety reasons that isn't materialistic.

Two income family here and we can't afford new cars or fancy vacations either! We're not destitute, but our cars are late 90s models and we haven't had a fancy vacation ever.

[EowynW]

I have heard the same lame ass excuses about Deborah being raised up because the men were failing my entire life. But after studying it last year I realized that that isn't what happened. The text never says that. Not once. God doesn't look at gender he looks at giftedness. 

[louisa05]

Two income family here and we can't afford new cars or fancy vacations either! We're not destitute, but our cars are late 90s models and we haven't had a fancy vacation ever.

Our newest car is 14 years old. We haven't had a vacation to anywhere but a border state and the longest one was 5 days which included travel time. Our honeymoon was two nights in a hotel 40 minutes from home.

As I so often say, Lori needs to STFU.

[EmiGirl]

20 minutes ago, EowynW said:

I have heard the same lame ass excuses about Deborah being raised up because the men were failing my entire life. But after studying it last year I realized that that isn't what happened. The text never says that. Not once. God doesn't look at gender he looks at giftedness. 

Not only that, but it really didn't make a huge deal about her being a woman. That leads me to believe there may have been other female judges and leaders.

[Koala]

The Proverbs woman would have been a lot less troublesome for Lori if she had sat at home and monitored the internet like a godly woman.  Instead she was running around being all productive, and now Lori has to excuse her behavior.  

 

[EowynW]

7 minutes ago, Koala said:

The Proverbs woman would have been a lot less troublesome for Lori if she had sat at home and monitored the internet like a godly woman.  Instead she was running around being all productive, and now Lori has to excuse her behavior.  

 

What the hell? How does she know. How does that ancient commentary know. The P31 isn't even a real woman!!! 

[December]

@Koala that quote comparison is great! 

I'd never had a nice kitchen till I moved into my current place. I cook dinner almost every night for myself and my husband after returning home from my wicked feminist job. And it does make me happier to have my long-desired nice appliances and counter tops, because I worked for them! 

[dairyfreelife]

Did Lori actually read Proverbs 31? I am unsure where she's getting her nonsense because what it says is 

"Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value." 11

"She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar" 14

"She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night." 16-18 

"She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes." 24 

I am not sure how she can bring food from afar, consider fields to buy, and sell garments while supplying merchants with sashes staying at home. Also, Lori lacks knowledge of history. You didn't buy land unless you had wealth. It would not have been cheap to buy land, so where Lori gets this idea that it "probably didn't cost much", I really don't know. Not in any reality for sure. 

The lady in the Proverbs 31 story was no idle lady sitting at home while her husband made the money. She was a busy, active, and yes, working, woman. Anyone who cannot see that she is out and about and earning money wisely is purposely ignoring the huge elephant in the room. However, as Lori has made clear over and over again, she is unable and unwilling to see the forest for the trees. 

Also, Lori, assuming, as the saying goes, makes an ass out of you and me. Stop saying someone "probably" or that  you "assume" someone did this or that. If you don't know, don't make assumptions and call it fact. Acknowledge the assumptions as just that, an assumption. Don't root your clear assumptions as truth and damn anyone who calls you out on your unknown truths. You don't speak for any gods/goddesses that may exist, so stop trying to act like their mouthpiece. On her own awful behavior and that of her followers, if there is a higher power to answer to after death, I am certain it is her and her followers who will have some serious explaining to do, not those who disagree with her. They are cold, judgmental, rude, argumentative, callous, abusive, arrogant, and just generally horrible people all around. They are the pharisees Jesus spoke against. 

[Curious]

On 5/15/2017 at 1:52 AM, SuperNova said:

There's only one reason I feel sorry for Ken. When you are manipulated into a marriage of convenience, the person that manipulates you robs you of the chance of finding a real loving and caring relationship. It removes the true essence of what marriage should be. Ken is a paycheck and he knows it. How much of his situation has poisoned his heart into accepting Lori's hate?

 

When Ken was here, you could catch glimpses of the man he might have been if he hadn't married Lori.  Personally, and I know this isn't a popular opinion here, I think Ken could have been a pretty decent guy if he hadn't ever met Lori and hadn't been subjected to her ... personality for all these years.

I can almost feel sorry for him, but then he does something stupid and I lose whatever sympathy I mustered up.

[Curious]

What Lori doesn't realize is that even SHE is one major medical event from living hand to mouth, unless Ken has managed to save up millions of $$ over his working life.

My husband and I lived comfortably on one income.  It's just us and the dogs & cats, afterall.  Then my spine decided to go kaput.  From Oct 2014 until about Jan 2017 has been a rotation of different hospitals and skilled nursing facilities.  We have what is considered cadillac insurance, which helped tremendously, but they are still insurance and have weird rules.

For example my wound dr. was not in their network.  After all the problems with even getting that particular wound treated by anyone I wasn't going to try and find another dr. to work with when I had built up a relationship and trust with the one I was using in the SNF.   So that was about $20k out of pocket by the end.

I'm not really sure what our total out of pocket has been for everything during that period of time, but we have met our "catastrophic" deductible ($6000)  in 2014-2016.

Insurance will nickel and dime you to death, too.  They will pay for the special hospital bed that I need now (apparently for the rest of my life), but they won't pay for the special air pads I need when I'm sitting up.   The pads are a bit less than $100 each.  We bought one out of pocket when the wound dr. first suggested it.  We asked for one when I was in the SNF since if I need them full time it would be nice not to have to drag one pad around everywhere I am going to sit for any length of time, but insurance won't pay for the pad.  Even though not having the pad would mean I am more likely to open the wound area again.  They will pay for another surgery and snf stay, but not cough up the $100 (probably less for them actually) pad that will stop a potential relapse.  It makes no sense.

What if something happens to Ken?  You hear on the news all the time how people are randomly killed in accidents, have heart attacks suddenly, even at young ages, etc.   What if, heaven forbid, he develops dementia and requires round the clock are or to be put in a facility, which is not cheap.   The facilities I have been in run $5-10k per month, for example.   I have not been in extravagant facilities.  One we looked at (a 10k/month one), we walked in and both my husband and I were immediately like "not this one."  We went ahead and took the "tour" since we were there, but I wouldn't have left my worst enemy (or Lori) in that place.

Lori is going to fall someday and she is so far up on her pedestal now that it's going to hurt like a bitch when she finally falls.

 

 

[EowynW]

Hahahahaha yall need to read the Instagram thread. Someone is trying to point out it isn't a real woman and she's not quite understanding. 

[Red Jumper]

1 hour ago, Curious said:

What if something happens to Ken?

She relies on her children. Remember "it is easier to ask for something than do it yourself" (Lori).

i wouldn't risk that. But I wouldn't risk to be completely depended on my husband if I am able-bodied and able-minded

[Imrlgoddess]

5 minutes ago, Red Jumper said:

She relies on her children. Remember "it is easier to ask for something than do it yourself" (Lori).

i wouldn't risk that. But I wouldn't risk to be completely depended on my husband if I am able-bodied and able-minded

 I would pity the children in that situation.  Because we all know, hell would break loose on the one who wouldn't or couldn't do for her the way she wanted.  The one who would concede and take her in would rue it for the rest of his or her life.