Lori Alexander 19: Hating Birth Control, Consistency, and Logic

[polecat]

14 hours ago, Curious said:

I, too, have had chronic pain for many years.  Once in a while, I really want a specific food because that is all that sounds good.  Rather than wanting something and being super vague so my husband has to guess what I am *really* asking for, I just ask for the actual food I want.   Crazy, huh.

If I wanted a baked potato, I would say I'd really like a baked potato please, and magically I will get the item I asked for.  My husband will even say he will go to the store or get me take out if we don't have what I am craving.

Lori causes her own problems, which she then blames on other people for not reading her mind.

 

Okay, but you can't be a martyr if you just TELL people what you want. You have to do the mind-reading thing and then pitch a fit when no one does it correctly so that you can have all the fun of not getting what you want because everyone else is depriving you AND complaining about it. Where's the fun in being sick and getting what you need? /s

On a serious note, though, Lori's life is all about manipulating people. Simply asking for stuff won't work because that allows people to easily meet her needs. She has to make them jump through hoops because that's what keeps them off-balance and stressed. People who are off-balanced and stressed are easier to manipulate. There's method to her madness.

[IrishCarrie]

I'm a relative newcomer to Instagram so I thought I'd have a look for Lori.

Found her very quickly, went 'Yay!' and followed her. Quite pleased because I've been having trouble finding some of my nearest and dearest on Instagram - they all post under weird hybrids of their names - so I was happy to have successfully tracked down someone!

Looked through her posts...words fail me. I mean, I read here and I know what she's like. But when I'm reading here I'm also getting commentary from you guys; there's usually a giggle to be had. The wit and intelligence on FJ really is second to none in my opinion.

But anyway, reading through her venom undiluted by commentary nearly made me feel physically ill. She is the most MISERABLE, HATE-FILLED CRONE I have ever come across!

I unfollowed obvs. Ain't nobody got time for that.

[Koala]

20 minutes ago, polecat said:

On a serious note, though, Lori's life is all about manipulating people. Simply asking for stuff won't work because that allows people to easily meet her needs. She has to make them jump through hoops because that's what keeps them off-balance and stressed.

I totally agree.  

After her daughter made her soup, Lori said:

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 I wanted to text her, "Where are the potatoes???"  Make her feel bad, you know.  

That is the real Lori. She thrives on making other people feel bad...even when they are going out of their way to help her.

She had people running to the store for her, rubbing her feet, reading to her, making her soup...yet, none of it was enough.  She still wanted to "make them feel bad, you know".  

[EowynW]

Reading today's post. I hate how Lori acts like it's the the girls responsibility to insist on a chaste relationship before marriage. She sounds just like my mom. I remember my mom telling my sister & I that it was our job to keep the boys inline and make sure they don't go to far. It was our responsibility. I remember my sister sobbing to me in secret just because her fiancé patted her butt or wanted to kiss full on and she was trying to figure out how to avoid it all. Thank was so stupid. It sets girls up with all the responsibility and it makes the guys jerks  because they know they are just lowly sex driven creatures. She was horrified when I told her she wasn't responsible for him and he was equally responsible. Her fiancé would get huffy about her boundaries and the whole thing disgusted me. 

But I was a bad girl before marriage and thoroughly enjoyed my kissing and petting with Mr. EW. We were each other's first and so far only, had little sex ed since we were fundie raised  and honestly I think we went into our actual married sex life the better for it. I did have an anxiety attack after the first kiss because I "gave it away before the altar" but after that it was an FU to those teachings. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

EowynW  -- Yah!! for you for comforting your sister and letting her know she wasn't giving it away (by kissing) before marriage.  

Not raised fundie so I have to ask -- what is kiss full on?  II haven't heard the phrase before. Is kissing only supposed to be on the cheek or forehead --the kiss version of the Duggar's side hugs? 

And I know you know this -- but in absolutely no way were you a bad girl for kissing/petting Mr. EW before marriage. Please never think of yourself that way ((hug)).  If I remember, you were both adults in your 20s and perfectly capable of deciding the level of intimacy your wanted in your relationship.  It was no one else's business or decision but the 2 of you.

[quiversR4hunting]

16 minutes ago, EowynW said:

I did have an anxiety attack after the first kiss because I "gave it away before the altar" but after that it was an FU to those teachings. 

My underlining. Not being snarky, this is something I have never understood. What exactly is anyone "giving away" by kissing? Do I think someone should just make out with anyone and everyone, no however kissing someone you love or think you love isn't "giving it away."

But then again my mom's friend told me that everyone has to kiss 100 frogs before they find their prince. She was just saying it was ok to date and be really sure the one is the one.

As for me I think people can find their one early and marry HS sweetheart and be happily ever after, I also think it can come later after more experience or no experience and still live happily ever after.  I have said to a couple people (IRL) that if I would have met my HS boyfriend later we would have married. In HS, I didn't know how to tell him what I wanted with my future and my true feelings. I had been raised being told, graduate HS, graduate college then get married. I didn't know how to talk against my parents wishes, be honest with myself and him. Being ready for a true relationship all depends on openness, honesty and maturity on the couple's part. Which most of the fundies have none ziche, no matter their age because they are always "under an umbrella of protection". Making mistakes and learning from them is a skill needed by all people.

[louisa05]

Her new obsession with quoting old sources is getting kind of amusing. Like this bit (for those that cannot stand looking at the blog, today's source is from 1946): 

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The movies, the dance, the fad for nudity, and the shameless uncovering of the bodies of women and girls lead to necking (kissing) and petting 

Oh, noes! Movies and dancing! Whatever will become of us! 

And behold the "shameless uncovering of the bodies of women" in 1940s fashions: 

[EowynW]

21 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

EowynW  -- Yah!! for you for comforting your sister and letting her know she wasn't giving it away (by kissing) before marriage.  

Not raised fundie so I have to ask -- what is kiss full on?  II haven't heard the phrase before. Is kissing only supposed to be on the cheek or forehead --the kiss version of the Duggar's side hugs? 

And I know you know this -- but in absolutely no way were you a bad girl for kissing/petting Mr. EW before marriage. Please never think of yourself that way ((hug)).  If I remember, you were both adults in your 20s and perfectly capable of deciding the level of intimacy your wanted in your relationship.  It was no one else's business or decision but the 2 of you.

In my circle a kiss full on was a mouth to mouth kiss. I know people who cheated by kissing at the corners of the mouth before marriage. No joke.  

 

Thank you! We had been friends for over 20 years, had the hots for each other for several years but confusing fundie teachings teachings and being shy held us back at first,  then when we finally started dating & got engaged it just seemed like a natural progression of things. I still struggle with guilt sometimes but it's gotten better and I do think it made going into married life much easier. I can't imagine marrying someone I've never touched or kissed. 

19 minutes ago, quiversR4hunting said:

My underlining. Not being snarky, this is something I have never understood. What exactly is anyone "giving away" by kissing? Do I think someone should just make out with anyone and everyone, no however kissing someone you love or think you love isn't "giving it away."

But then again my mom's friend told me that everyone has to kiss 100 frogs before they find their prince. She was just saying it was ok to date and be really sure the one is the one.

As for me I think people can find their one early and marry HS sweetheart and be happily ever after, I also think it can come later after more experience or no experience and still live happily ever after.  I have said to a couple people (IRL) that if I would have met my HS boyfriend later we would have married. In HS, I didn't know how to tell him what I wanted with my future and my true feelings. I had been raised being told, graduate HS, graduate college then get married. I didn't know how to talk against my parents wishes, be honest with myself and him. Being ready for a true relationship all depends on openness, honesty and maturity on the couple's part. Which most of the fundies have none ziche, no matter their age because they are always "under an umbrella of protection". Making mistakes and learning from them is a skill needed by all people.

Yes, out of the lifestyle I see how it wasn't given away. But I was raised in a heavily fundie, conservative, patriarchal family where Above Rubies, Elisabeth Elliot, Debi Pearl, SM Davis, Boundless, Focus on the Family, etc were read and taught religiously and I have to give myself grace for not knowing what I do now. 

 

Definitely. Most people do not marry their first. My sister had several before marrying. My husband and I well, our story is a bit unique. We had 20years of family history and friendship and the last 8 of those had been good friends discussing all manner of issues and things it's a good many arguenents along the way. We actually both set each other on the path of leaving the fundie life. Neither of us wanted to marry a fundie spouse. We'd always thought each other was cute, then out of the friendship and trust, love was born. we are two plain, chubby simple people but I think our story is beautiful. And it's nothinf like the picture fundies paint of love and marriage and being husband and wife. 

The vintage stuff gets so. old. I've never understood the love for the life and clothes "of old" by fundies. 

[BlackSheep]

It's always amazing how people like Lori put the burden of chastity on the so-called weaker vessel. 

 

[quiversR4hunting]

16 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

Her new obsession with quoting old sources is getting kind of amusing. Like this bit (for those that cannot stand looking at the blog, today's source is from 1946): 

Quote

The movies, the dance, the fad for nudity, and the shameless uncovering of the bodies of women and girls lead to necking (kissing) and petting 

Oh, noes! Movies and dancing! Whatever will become of us! 

Wait what? There wasn't any necking or petting before marriage prior to the 1940s? Wow she really does romanticize the past.

I did a quick search on movies in the 1920s and 30s. The movie description of "Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans" made my eyebrows rise: "Bored with his wife (Janet Gaynor), their baby and the dull routine of farm life, a farmer (George O'Brien) falls under the spell of a flirtatious city girl (Margaret Livingston) who convinces him to drown his wife so they can escape together. When his wife becomes suspicious of his plan and runs away to the city, the farmer pursues her, slowly regaining her trust as the two rediscover their love for each other in this award-winning silent classic."

Lori is so right! Before the 1940s life was much more wholesome and pure.

And if you want to see stats on pre-marriage births from the 1930s and on go here: https://www.census.gov/prod/99pubs/p23-197.pdf Again, Lori is right, I bet none of those women kissed or petted before marriage. These women in the 1930s were the Virgin Mary all over again.

[EowynW]

3 minutes ago, BlackSheep said:

It's always amazing how people like Lori put the burden of chastity on the so-called weaker vessel. 

 

I fell in love with that show from day one. I can relate to Kimmy in several ways. 

[BlackSheep]

4 minutes ago, EowynW said:

I fell in love with that show from day one. I can relate to Kimmy in several ways. 

I haven't started the new season yet, but will this weekend. Kimmy rocks!

[Free Jana Duggar]

1 hour ago, EowynW said:

Reading today's post. I hate how Lori acts like it's the the girls responsibility to insist on a chaste relationship before marriage. She sounds just like my mom. I remember my mom telling my sister & I that it was our job to keep the boys inline and make sure they don't go to far. It was our responsibility. I remember my sister sobbing to me in secret just because her fiancé patted her butt or wanted to kiss full on and she was trying to figure out how to avoid it all. Thank was so stupid. It sets girls up with all the responsibility and it makes the guys jerks  because they know they are just lowly sex driven creatures. She was horrified when I told her she wasn't responsible for him and he was equally responsible. Her fiancé would get huffy about her boundaries and the whole thing disgusted me. 

But I was a bad girl before marriage and thoroughly enjoyed my kissing and petting with Mr. EW. We were each other's first and so far only, had little sex ed since we were fundie raised  and honestly I think we went into our actual married sex life the better for it. I did have an anxiety attack after the first kiss because I "gave it away before the altar" but after that it was an FU to those teachings. 

Exactly! It is not just the girl's responsibility.  

I'm all for waiting until marriage, but you have to have communication.  How about both people having an open discussion on how far they want to go and coming to an agreement? 

My husband actually asked my permission to kiss me on our first date.  I agreed but said that was as far as I wanted to go. He respected that and never pressured me.  He probably would have gone further if I had agreed though.

 

[onemama]

In that post about temperance or self-control, she quotes Proverbs 30:8. That verse is not about food or eating too much!  It's part of a prayer where a man named Agur asks God to give him not too much and not too little but "his portion". How Lori assumes that must mean his portion of food is a mystery. 

That post is so full of condemnation for everyone... so you like your coffee? make sure you aren't addicted! 

Lori needs to start following her own advice and start practicing some self-restraint with her tongue (and her fingers). She ignores what the Bible has to say about gossip and the power of the tongue (and typing fingers if one blogs).

Lori asks

Quote

Do you dwell on the lovely and the pure?

Do you, Lori? You appear to like to dwell on all the "mischief" other women get into.
 

Quote

 

Do you flirt, dress immodestly, or act unbecomingly when men who are not your husband are around?

 

 

 

Do you, Lori? Like when Dave says you're the most beautiful woman or when one of the other men complains about the lack of sex life in his marriage, do you try to get them to tell you  bit more, Lori?  Is that becoming, do you think? 

From her post badmouthing women preachers:

Quote

Lisa Bevere, a very popular teacher/preacher, wrote this on her Facebook page the other day: “I remember I used to hear all of these as reasons why women shouldn’t be allowed to preach; my friend never limit yourself to a man-made label. Find freedom in the identity and life Jesus purchased for you. He restores that which was lost at the fall. Whatever it is you have need of, go to the Word of God and get it.” It was under a poster of hers that read, “Never resign yourself to a designation of unfit, gullible, and easy to deceive.”

Of course, Lori can't have  woman speaking truth to women. Where is the lie in what Lisa said?  Ah... of course, Lori says:

Quote

God is the one who said that woman are easily deceived

Where, Lori?  1st Timothy  "And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression" ? It does NOT say that all women are easily deceived, it says that EVE was deceived. EVE. But whatever. 

She goes on to say:

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 I will never listen or learn from Lisa. I encourage you not to either since she mocks the clear teaching of the Word of God 

Ok... who just went ahead and misinterpreted the Bible, and who just sent women back to the Bible to look for truth? 

Lori did the misinterpretation and Lisa sent the women back to the Bible.  Guess who I might lend an ear to?  

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Why do I name these women who are unashamedly disobeying or adding things to the the clear teachings of the Word? In order to warn all of you women who are learning from them. Compromising on parts of the Word that one doesn’t like is a slippery slope and is not a slope you want to be on. I have seen too many abandon their faith due to believing untruths and I don’t want this to happen to you.

Amen, Lori. That's why I'm still visiting your blog every now and then and posting comments on here. Your teachings are dangerous. You add to scripture, you ignore scripture, you teach untruths. AND you are teaching MEN Lori, tickling their ears, all under the guise of "mentoring women", something that you think is in the Bible, but it's not. 

I encourage you to follow Lisa Bevere's good advice and go to the Word of God, without old dictionaries and commentaries of a chosen few men. You might be surprised by what you find.

[EowynW]

Rereading today's post and omg she sounds more like my mom. My mom also used that "think of what it does to the guys when you lead them on and they can't satisfy their urges." Gag me with a spoon  

[Koala]

I'll tell you what irritates me about today's post.  Lori is always blaming someone else for her behavior.  

Quote

He wrote an entire chapter about sexual purity before marriage and I sure wish I had read this when I was a teenager since I had a desire to please the Lord in everything.

I thought everything we need for a life of godliness can be found in the Bible?

Did Lori not have access to a Bible?

Quote

Because I was only taught to not have sex before marriage, I had no idea what the boundaries were up until intercourse. 

She could have easily read the Bible and set any boundaries she saw fit to set.

She also seems to think that a lot of her problems are because she "wasn't raised like the Duggars":

Quote

As you can see, I was not raised like the Duggars. I wore short shorts.

(She was a grown, married woman in the picture.  More than capable of determining whether her manner of dress met her own standards of modesty.)

Quote

I would go to the school dances and dance until I could hardly walk. The next day, I could barely get out of bed! {Keep in mind, I was NOT raised like the Duggars!}

Again, Lori was more than old enough to decide what behavior she considered appropriate.  

The "I would have been better if I'd just been raised by the Duggars" line, is just a cop out.

Even when she talked about marriage retreats, she seemed to blame the other women at the retreat for her own spoiled, childish behavior when she got home.

She's never personally responsible for her own behavior.

 

[TeddyBonkers]

27 minutes ago, EowynW said:

Rereading today's post and omg she sounds more like my mom. My mom also used that "think of what it does to the guys when you lead them on and they can't satisfy their urges." Gag me with a spoon  

No guy ever died from a case of blue balls.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Earl, who is constantly reminding Lori and us that he isn't getting any at home, commented on FB that Lori's 'chaste and pure' post was "outstanding".

It's not exactly irony, but I did find it amusing.

[polecat]

2 hours ago, EowynW said:

Rereading today's post and omg she sounds more like my mom. My mom also used that "think of what it does to the guys when you lead them on and they can't satisfy their urges." Gag me with a spoon  

If dude's got a hand, he can satisfy his own darn urges.

[FundieFarmer]

Well, since Lori only dressed immodestly in her youth, and everyone should dress like women did in the 40s- just as Lori does now- it looks like it's time to bring this back up:

[smittykins]

8 hours ago, quiversR4hunting said:

 

9 hours ago, EowynW said:

I did have an anxiety attack after the first kiss because I "gave it away before the altar" but after that it was an FU to those teachings. 

My underlining. Not being snarky, this is something I have never understood. What exactly is anyone "giving away" by kissing?

 

"Pieces of your heart," duh. [/sarcasm]

As for people in the 30s/40s waiting for marriage, apparently Lori's never heard the phrase "First babies come whenever they want, the rest take nine months."

 

 

[Hisey]

4 hours ago, Koala said:

I'll tell you what irritates me about today's post.  Lori is always blaming someone else for her behavior.  

I thought everything we need for a life of godliness can be found in the Bible?

Did Lori not have access to a Bible?

She could have easily read the Bible and set any boundaries she saw fit to set.

She also seems to think that a lot of her problems are because she "wasn't raised like the Duggars":

(She was a grown, married woman in the picture.  More than capable of determining whether her manner of dress met her own standards of modesty.)

Again, Lori was more than old enough to decide what behavior she considered appropriate.  

The "I would have been better if I'd just been raised by the Duggars" line, is just a cop out.

Even when she talked about marriage retreats, she seemed to blame the other women at the retreat for her own spoiled, childish behavior when she got home.

She's never personally responsible for her own behavior.

 

It's her mother's fault, I guess.

[quiversR4hunting]

12 minutes ago, FundieFarmer said:

Well, since Lori only dressed immodestly in her youth, and everyone should dress like women did in the 40s- just as Lori does now- it looks like it's time to bring this back up:

For easier search (so her fans can find this "modest" picture easier.): Lori Alexander modesty standards are pictured above. 

[Koala]

"Immodest women are mean women!" 

[JermajestyDuggar]

10 hours ago, BlackSheep said:

I haven't started the new season yet, but will this weekend. Kimmy rocks!

Get ready for the Lemonade episode. If you like Beyoncé, you'll love that episode. It was hilarious.