Lori Alexander 19: Hating Birth Control, Consistency, and Logic

[Koala]

1 hour ago, HoneyBunny said:

That litany by Ken exhausted me. Not that I read one word of it, mind you. But my scrolling finger got a real workout. 

It amazes me that Ken can write such a GWOT, and still say absolutely nothing.  

 

[onemama]

Oh that rant by Ken.. I just waded through the whole thing. 

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Scholar and all the others who want to define women’s equality as not having to accept male leadership in their home or church are being dishonest with the Word, history and themselves. The best one can do on this subject from the view Scholar is taking is to be honest enough to accept that God’s intent was indeed male leadership 

 

 

 

No, Ken, Scholar is right when he asks the questions he asks, especially considering disastrous interpretations like yours. 

See, Ken, Jesus modeled leadership for us and leadership takes you where you don't want to go, to make sacrifices you wish you didn't have to make, for the sake of those entrusted to you. Leadership is sacrificial, not domineering.  In Jesus's own words:  "25But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. 26It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant,c 27and whoever would be first among you must be your slave,d 28even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Mathew 20)

For some reason, I think the Church has been following the example of the rulers of the gentiles, lording it over their "flock" and encouraging husbands to lord it over their families in the name of "headship".  

I do believe God's intent for the Church was male leadership, yes, but of the kind that Jesus exemplified for us. 

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My strong caution would be to not allow the poor scholarship and reasoning of men like Scholar who have an agenda they want to meet, as opposed to honestly dealing with the Word, and letting it speak clearly and definitively to you. We need to see through the bias and poor arguments on the subject to simply say, “Lord, thy will be done,” not mine. If Jesus can go to a cross desiring to fulfill each and every word God had spoken, we should be doing the same, even when it doesn’t fit with our desires and what we think of as potential in life. After all is said and done, Jesus and God’s Word are inseparable.

My strong caution, Ken, to all men and women who read Lori's blog would be to not allow the poor scholarship and reasoning of women like Lori who have an agenda they want to meet, as opposed to honestly dealing with the Word, and letting it speak clearly and definitively to you.  

To her male readers : if Jesus can go to a cross desiring to fulfill each and every word God had spoken, you should be willing to do the same, even when it doesn't fit with your desires.  If the Word says "love your wife as you love yourself" or "love your wife as Christ loved the Church", quit thinking about your conceived "rights" as head, and love your wife. 

Ken, stop encouraging those debased men on your wife's blog.  Be a man and start speaking some truth to them. 

[onemama]

This is so wrong... 

"Submissive" asks: 

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my husband wanted to apply for somethung and I reminded him to give all the information that they are asking for. My husband said he did not need to do that (rejecting what I told him) but then he finds they asked for the information that he did not bring which I mentioned to him that he should bring. Now it’s possible it might cost us the thing he applied for because of ignoring a simple reminder. May I ask how do I go about handling this because I’m quite frustrated over it. If my spouse makes a mistake the whole household will be in jeopardy.

... any advice for this matter would be greatly appreciated. 

 

Lori: 

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You can give him one reminder but if he doesn’t do as you have asked and suffers for it, along with the family, this is how it goes. He’s the head of the home and bears the responsibility of how to run it, whether it is successful or a failure. But you are only responsible for your behavior towards so continue to be kind, forgiving, showing grace, submissive, loving, and cheerful knowing that God is ultimately in control. Hopefully, he will learn from his mistakes.

WHERE do you find that advice, Lori?  How about sending her to 1.Samuel 25, to the story of Nabal and Abigail, a foolish husband and his intelligent wife. Nabal did something foolish and Abigail didn't go to Nabal, give him her advice once, to then sit back and wait to see what happened. She took matters into her hand and, without consulting her foolish husband, whom she saw for what he was: a fool, she went and saved her household by doing exactly the opposite of what her husband had done earlier. 

Ah, no that's Old Testament!

Ok, so go to the New Testament, to the book of Acts. In chapter 5 Ananias and Saphira agreed to sell their property, keep some of the proceeds, and give the rest to the apostles , leading them to believe they were giving it all, as others had done.  When Ananias handed in the money, he was judged for lying and died on the spot.  His wife Saphira came later and was given the chance to tell the truth about the money. She lied, keeping with the agreement she had made with Ananias, and was judged for lying.  She got no brownie points for being submissive, or not disagreeing, or voting with her husband, whatever.  She paid the same price for the same sin. 

And some more advice from another reader

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Your experience is similar to something I read about in the “Fascinating Womanhood” book (written by David Coory, based on Helen Andelin’s teachings). The advice given in the book was, when our husband’s make mistakes, to not show our disapproval (or if we must do so, to do it respectfully, and just once then let it go) but also step right back and let them take full responsibility for fixing it. This is the way men learn and grow.
Personally, that goes against every grain of my nature and I don’t know that I could do that … but then, applications for pretty much everything are made together in my house, so hopefully I will never have to be tested in that regard because I fear I would fail!

I thought Lori only allowed Bible teaching. That her blog was about leading women to the Bible to find answers. Why is she taking advice from a book written by some man instead of searching Scriptures for advice to give her "followers"?  Blind leader of the blind, perhaps?

ETA: There is not one passage in the Bible that calls a husband the "head of his home".   

[Koala]

@onemama I wish I could "like" your post a million times.

A lot of Lori's advice is just rules that she's made up.  A good majority of it can't be found anywhere in the Bible.

 

[EowynW]

I would've kept insisting and insisting and even packed an envelope of the info needed and sent it with my husband. I think it's much easier to just be direct with Mr. EW. I hung back for months after we first got married because of those horrible teachings on top of my mom's mantra of "a man's ego is frail so always respect them and build it up" and Mr. EW finally told me I needed to stop shutting up and tell him before he makes a mistake or embarressses himself. He didn't marry me to cheerfully agree with everything. 

Her post today makes me tear up. Women were created in the image of God too. Both of us reflect Him. God is neither male or female. It takes both sexes to reflect various aspects of Him

[Koala]

4 minutes ago, EowynW said:

I would've kept insisting and insisting and even packed an envelope of the info needed and sent it with my husband.

Right?  I thought these women claimed to be helpmeets or helpmates...whatever...

How is it helpful to let someone fail (and then have the whole family suffer), just so you won't have to say, "Hey, honey.  Here's that paperwork you're going to need today"???

 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

In Lori's world if you say "here's the paperwork you'll need"  you are telling the man what to do. You are 'lording" it over him.  You aren't letting him lead. You are being un-submissive and disrespectful.

And ... if he leads you right into car repo, utilities turned off, bankruptcy, or homelessness**, you're just supposed to smile and 'keep sweet'.  Because after all he is the head of the house and you, a mere woman, are to follow. Never forget that you are to respect and "reverance" him, even in his bad decisions.

In my world if a man is so thoughtless, bull-headed and/or stupid to do that to his family then he isn't the sort of man able to get them out of the mess he put them in. Knowing your husband made a wrong, stupid decision is merely recognizing the truth of the situation.

Frequently this is when the wife has to step in and figure a way out of the mess. It seems absolutely unnatural to me that a mother would allow her children to suffer because the family must prop up dad's fragile ego and role of all wise, all knowing, omnipotent leader of the house.

**Not in any way throwing shade on anyone who has this happen to them because of circumstance beyond their control

 

 

[usmcmom]

1 hour ago, onemama said:

..., when our husband’s make mistakes, to not show our disapproval (or if we must do so, to do it respectfully, and just once then let it go) but also step right back and let them take full responsibility for fixing it. This is the way men learn and grow

This is the way men learn and grow???? I thought we were not our husbands' mothers. I thought we were not to teach men. This author she quotes is advising women to treat their husbands the same way we would treat our children. Therefore, Lori is advising that we treat our husbands like children.  

Let them make mistakes so they grow and learn??? That is just wrong! Actually the more I read it, the weirder is seems too. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

A friend of mine growing up had a father notorious all over our little town for bad decisions.  The man had a hot temper and was famous for getting mad at work and quitting his job (accountant). Did I mention there were 7 children in the family.

When the guy was working they were well off. When not there were periods of food uncertainty, boxes of groceries mysteriously left at the back door, utilities turned off, threatened foreclosure, etc, The 3 oldest children started working (paper routes, bagging groceries. etc,) at an early age to help out,  Because obviously it was beneath the dad to do anything while he was between jobs. Also beneath him to apply for welfare or food stamps and when you quit there is no unemployment.

Through it all the wife was a SAHM, smiling and keeping sweet, and putting up with the hubby.  Finally though, after the man quit one too many times and became permanently unemployed, the wife went to work as a teacher.

Of course by then 3 of the children were out of the house for good -- in college (full scholarships)  and the other 4 were grade school/ middle school. The mom worked until they made her retire at 75. So at least there was retirement money  from the school system.

As far as I know only 1 of the 7 turned out like the dad.

 

[Chocolatedefrauded]

This is stupid. Under her teachings, your "bad with money" husband could lead the family to bankruptcy or homelessness. Or the knowledgeable wife could get a job and/or pay the bills and prevent all the anguish and trama for the family.

my husband has told me numerous times that he relies on me to keep him from making boneheaded decisions. He wants to talk over most things that affect us. We consider ourselves to be a team with different strengths and weaknesses. He may sign the checks but I earn half the money. 

[louisa05]

Today's post is entirely based on the creation account in Genesis 2. In order to believe all of that, you have to ignore that there is a slightly different account of creation in Genesis 1. In that version, man and woman are created at the same time. 

I was taught in evil Catholic school that the creation stories are based in myth but are there to teach us a few basic truths. Number one being that God ordered creation (not that he did it in the way it is related in the stories). Number two being that humans (all of us, not just the male ones) are created in the image of God. 

 

[onemama]

Today's post makes me want to slap her around with a wet fish. Silly woman!  I could sort of follow her line of thought, although I wanted to tell her to dig deeper, see if those passages she quotes actually end where she ends the quote, and whether the whole of Scripture supports what these men teach.  

But then she said this: 

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Most women today would despise this teaching.

Lori's trademark sentence. And of course, it doesn't apply to her. She's "got it" 

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It doesn’t bother me in the least because I love being a woman and I love God’s ways.

Ah, of course, Lori. Of course. The "ways" that say that

 

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 Women are the more lovely of the sexes, especially when we wear some make up, fix our hair, and wear prettier and more colorful clothing. Men are highly attracted to women.

Ah... Lori, how about that passage you like so much about inner adornment?  1 Peter 3 (which is usually part of Lori's Bible) says: "Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear"

Which one is it, Lori, the external adornment of makeup , fixed hair and pretty clothes, or the inner adornment?  Make up your mind, lady! 

-   Lori, that passage you quote about woman coming from man and all that, doesn't end where you stopped. It goes on to say this: 

11 Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; 12 for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God.

- As for man being bigger, stronger, more in the image of God, this is what the apostle Paul said about Jesus and what he did with his being equal, ,not just made in the image of, but sharing the very nature of God. 

" who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant,[c] being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross."

If it turns out that men are made "more in the image of God", then if they truly want to imitate Jesus, whom they call Lord, they should be busily emptying themselves, becoming servants, raising those they deem to be "lowlier". 

Stop reading all that commentary and start reading what the Bible actually says. 

 

[EowynW]

She's such an idiot. We are camping this weekend for our anniversary.  I'm sitting here in a camp chair, no makeup, at my highest weight ever right now, in ordinary clothing, curly hair going crazy in the humidity. And my husband can't keep his hands off me and we are having such a precious time of mutual love and friendship. I pity lori. She is missing so much. 

[SilverBeach]

On 5/19/2017 at 8:56 AM, Koala said:

(manual snip)

How do her readers not see this?

Willful blindness. They want to believe lying liars who lie in a misguided effort to be approved by God. Pitiful.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

"They want to believe lying liars who lie in a misguided effort to be approved by God Lori. Pitiful."

Fixed it for you

[Koala]

Reader:

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I had a question regarding parenting. My daughter (3.5 years old) is a daddy’s girl and my husband is wrapped around her finger. Whenever I try to discipline her, he says I’m being too harsh and let’s her get away with everything and spoils her. How do you suggest handling this without overstepping my role as a wife?

The obvious answer (if Lori is consistent with her own "teaching") is that she should submit to her husband's wishes, and pray for the best.  After all, she may be deceived about the best method of child raising (she's only a silly woman, what does she know).

Lori:

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When he is at work, then is the time for you to train and discipline her without being harsh. Teach her to obey you as soon as you tell her to do anything. Consistency and following through are key, Luna. Your husband will appreciate having a well disciplined daughter as she grows older.

Why wait until he is at work, unless she is going against his wishes?  

What Lori essentially advised, is for this woman to pretend to raise her daughter one way when her husband is home, and then immediately switch gears as soon as he's safely out of sight.  

Lori is also saying: "Your husband may think he wants his child raised a certain way, but I know better.  When he's not around, do it my way.  He'll appreciate it in the end."

How is that submission??  

[usmcmom]

Sorry, guys; I had to do it. Here is the Big Nutritious (high iron) Salad I make for lunch two or three times a week. I offered to have one ready for my husband if he would like to come home for lunch but he declined. His workplace has an amazing cafeteria. Yesterday, he had baked cod in orange sauce and Brussels sprouts with bacon - for like $4!! He usually gets a heaping salad from the salad bar and a cup of fruit and pays $2.75. I am actually SEVERELY envious of his cafeteria food. 

Anyway, this took like fifteen minutes to prepare and that included time to allow the shrimp to cool a bit. Imagination and variety do not take a lot of effort...Lori!! 

[SilverBeach]

15 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

"They want to believe lying liars who lie in a misguided effort to be approved by God Lori. Pitiful."

Fixed it for you

Even more pitiful. Lori thinks she is God though, so there's that.

[Imrlgoddess]

5 hours ago, usmcmom said:

Sorry, guys; I had to do it. Here is the Big Nutritious (high iron) Salad I make for lunch two or three times a week. I offered to have one ready for my husband if he would like to come home for lunch but he declined. His workplace has an amazing cafeteria. Yesterday, he had baked cod in orange sauce and Brussels sprouts with bacon - for like $4!! He usually gets a heaping salad from the salad bar and a cup of fruit and pays $2.75. I am actually SEVERELY envious of his cafeteria food. 

Anyway, this took like fifteen minutes to prepare and that included time to allow the shrimp to cool a bit. Imagination and variety do not take a lot of effort...Lori!! 

I'm sorry, but this doesn't look organic enough for me.  Did you drive 17 miles to get that lettuce??? Did you???  Are those shrimp from the crisp waters of the Pacific, wild caught this morning???  MM Hmmm.  And I'm going to need you double the size of this thing to eat on for the next week or so.  MMMKay Thanks.  (**insert extreme sarcasm**)  

 

For the record, I'm not a salad eater, but this really pretty.  

[usmcmom]

1 minute ago, Imrlgoddess said:

I'm sorry, but this doesn't look organic enough for me.  Did you drive 17 miles to get that lettuce??? Did you???  Are those shrimp from the crisp waters of the Pacific, wild caught this morning???  MM Hmmm.  And I'm going to need you double the size of this thing to eat on for the next week or so.  MMMKay Thanks.  (**insert extreme sarcasm**)  

 

For the record, I'm not a salad eater, but this really pretty.  

All very good questions. Heh!

The shrimp were indeed caught through deep sea fishing. I am very short and I had to reeeeaaaaalllllly stretch to reach them in the freezer of the seafood aisle. 

The spinach actually came from my husband's work cafeteria. A large bag from the store goes bad before we can eat it, so he brings home a bowl for me every two days. It is the perfect amount and none goes to waste. He just rings it up with his lunch that day and stores it in the office fridge until quitting time. So I get extra points for being creatively frugal. 

As you said, it is pretty and pretty counts for almost everything when you're a woman so....more points!!!! I think I beat Lori in the Great Salad Wars. 

[Imrlgoddess]

@usmcmom  Now just make sure you're pink lipstick ready when he gets home!  You've had your Big Nourishing  Salad, all that stretching was your daily exercise, you should be refreshed and ready lady!   

I'm totally rooting for you in the Great Salad Wars, I have the diet of a picky 10 year old, and what you have pictured here could lure the pickiest of eaters to good food!  

[EowynW]

4 minutes ago, Imrlgoddess said:

@usmcmom  Now just make sure you're pink lipstick ready when he gets home!  You've had your Big Nourishing  Salad, all that stretching was your daily exercise, you should be refreshed and ready lady!   

I'm totally rooting for you in the Great Salad Wars, I have the diet of a picky 10 year old, and what you have pictured here could lure the pickiest of eaters to good food!  

Don't forget your coconut oil for evening activities. 

[usmcmom]

3 minutes ago, Imrlgoddess said:

@usmcmom  Now just make sure you're pink lipstick ready when he gets home!  You've had your Big Nourishing  Salad, all that stretching was your daily exercise, you should be refreshed and ready lady!   

I'm totally rooting for you in the Great Salad Wars, I have the diet of a picky 10 year old, and what you have pictured here could lure the pickiest of eaters to good food!  

Oh geesh!  My mother is dropping by soon and a visit with her can really kill the mood. I am promising myself a nice hot cup of creamy coffee after she leaves as I do not drink alcohol. If the coffee (with a side of chocolate) does not work as I hope, USMCDAD will probably be fine. If not, I will direct him to The Transformed Wife where he can righteously whine. 

[onemama]

48 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

I will direct him to The Transformed Wife where he can righteously whine. 

And usurp his authority?  

[quiversR4hunting]

1 hour ago, EowynW said:

Don't forget your coconut oil for evening activities. 

wait a moment while I puke at that visual.

@usmcmom that salad looked awesome! And your hubs cafeteria sounds great and now I want cod for dinner.