Joy and Austin: He's got the Joy Joy in his heart!

[Rachel333]

Hey, her makeup could be worse...

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

1 hour ago, ihaveanexamintwodays said:

she looks like Jill, with Jessa's chin and cheeks! haha

The weight loss combined with growing up she's starting to get more "mature" features. She has a  heart shaped face and the thinning of her face makes it more pronounced. I would love to see her with out the bad makeup on, she is a very pretty young lady, no need to muck it up with bad make up.  I also think this is how my daughters face is going to turn as she gets older, she has a heart shaped face as well but still has her "baby fat cheeks" so it looks more round.  We are horrible parents and call it her big ole tomato head, because she has rosy cheeks and turns tomato red frequently, just like her mother, only I have a big ole egg head.  

 

[Mela99]

2 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

Hey, her makeup could be worse...

Eww my god it's like his scalp is peeling off

[front hugs > duggs]

Holy cow. Carlin Bates instagram story right now. Joy crying because she misses Austin (not like sobbing. But you can tell in my opinion she actually has been crying). And then says she needs flash cards. I'm guessing just for Carlin though. 

[VineHeart137]

14 minutes ago, front hugs > duggs said:

Holy cow. Carlin Bates instagram story right now. Joy crying because she misses Austin (not like sobbing. But you can tell in my opinion she actually has been crying). And then says she needs flash cards. I'm guessing just for Carlin though. 

Was just coming to see if anyone saw this. The flash cards are for Carlin, who apparently has a history test tomorrow but doesn't want to study. They appear to be alone in a car at 10:45 at night.

ETA: I never really noticed how much Carlin looks like Alyssa. The resemblance is strong in that video. And yes, Joy says she misses Austin so bad she's crying, and Carlin confirms she's really crying.

[Carm_88]

Oh wow, Joy really does look like she has been crying. Yikes. That's some intense love. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

How long has she been in TN? When did they go to the snark?  I guess she's crushing hard on him, but shit in 10 years she will be like Austin?  What about him, I just saw him a week ago.  

Is the whole clan still in TN?  Why is Carlin call them boyfriends? Austin is Joy's fiance and she's "courting" Evan I didn't think they did boyfriend girlfriend? 

[Gillyweed]

23 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

Oh wow, Joy really does look like she has been crying. Yikes. That's some intense love. 

So I'm Joy's age. I've never been in love. Joy has never really struck me as an emotional person.... crying for Austin is definitely over the top. Do you think all these girls are really super happy to be getting married? There has to be someone who is only doing it because it's expected...

[Carm_88]

1 minute ago, Gillyweed said:

So I'm Joy's age. I've never been in love. Joy has never really struck me as an emotional person.... crying for Austin is definitely over the top. Do you think all these girls are really super happy to be getting married? There has to be someone who is only doing it because it's expected...

I've never been so in love that I sobbed missing him. They all seem happy to be getting married but I don't think they really have a choice. I mean they have a choice in when and who; but being a wife and mother is all there is for fundies. I guess when a man defines you, you cry without him? She was raised by Jill and Jill couldn't let Derick have lunch without her. *shrug* 

[Jinder Roles]

At the white makeup: Yikes, that flashback will really get you. 

Let's remember that Joy cried at Jill's wedding, Jessa's wedding and when Jill left for CA. She seems to be pretty emotional if she develops an attachment to a person. I think she's almost as sensitive as Jinger. 

But yes, crying because you haven't seen your partner for a few days is a bit much. I find it's something teenagers do in their first relationship when they still have quite a bit of maturing to do. Or maybe she's a crier. 

[Jessalyn]

So we think she was just at a wedding right?

Maybe she and Carlin were talking about their future, getting married having families, and got teary eyed and started talking about their boyfriends and how they can't wait. At least I hope it's that, crying because she had to spend a week away is a bit much. Jeez, if she is like this, imagine what pris and pecan would be like if they had to be away for a week. 

[VBOY9977]

There's gonna be a wedding on Saturday, Tabitha Paine, which I'm pretty sure is why the duggars are in Tennessee 

[Fundie Bunny]

3 hours ago, VineHeart137 said:

The flash cards are for Carlin, who apparently has a history test tomorrow but doesn't want to study. They appear to be alone in a car at 10:45 at night.

Remind me, is she a college student? How the fuck is she going to study an exam just the night before? My exams start in two months and i'me already late to start studying

[Jinder Roles]

48 minutes ago, Fundie Bunny said:

Remind me, is she a college student? How the fuck is she going to study an exam just the night before? My exams start in two months and i'me already late to start studying

She probably means a unit test, not a final exam that determines most of your grade.

I've crammed for many a test before. Plus, Clown College isn't hard.

[JillyO]

I don't know how college works in Spain, but maybe it's similar to Germany, where you usually just have one huge final exam for each course at the end of the semester (for courses that do exams instead of research papers), so you have a ton of material to cover and you have to start early. In the US, it's much more common to have a bunch of tests throughout the semester/quarter (in-class or take-home essays, pop quizzes, mid-terms, etc.), and then the final exam only makes up a part of your grade, like maybe 30%. When I went to college in the US, I never started studying for finals until the week before. For smaller exams/quizzes, maybe one to three days before. And I went to an actual university, not Clown College. I also took college seriously. Who even knows how serious Carlin is about her studies, especially now that she's found herself a man.

[VelociRapture]

13 hours ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

How long has she been in TN? When did they go to the snark?  I guess she's crushing hard on him, but shit in 10 years she will be like Austin?  What about him, I just saw him a week ago.  

Is the whole clan still in TN?  Why is Carlin call them boyfriends? Austin is Joy's fiance and she's "courting" Evan I didn't think they did boyfriend girlfriend? 

1. They haven't been in Tennessee very long. They're likely there for Tabitha Paine's wedding to a rapist.

2. I would think most of the Duggars are likely there. Tabitha was their live in serva-... I mean, teacher. I would imagine the family would be happy to attend and see her sacrific- ... uh... fuck it... sacrificed on the altar of marriage because Jesus.

3. Because nothing the Bateses do makes sense. Carlin isn't officially courting yet - or, at least, they haven't announced a courtship. They appear to still be in the "getting to know you" phase of bullshit that precedes a courtship.

I did a run down of their definitions recently over in the Bates forum, but this is the basic idea:

1. Pre-courtship. Phase where the potential couple gets to know one another on a more superficial basis - likes, dislikes, etc. - to see if they want to further pursue a relationship. Also known as "speshul friends" phase, though the Bateses use boyfriend/girlfriend during this phase now too.

Real World Equivalent: Friends or Casual Dating

2. Courtship. Phase where they're officially in a relationship. Get to know one another on a deeper level to determine if they want to get married. This is the phase where the Duggars seem to start using boyfriend/girlfriend.

Real World Equivalent: Dating someone exclusively or seriously

3. Engagement. Phase where the couple is actively planning their wedding and prepping for married life. Also known as JinJer's "Baaaaaaaaaabe" phase.

Real World Equivalent: Engagement

4. Marriage. When the couple is allowed to fuck for Jesus.

Real World Equivalent: Marriage or another form of a long-term commitment (i.e. Common-law marriage, living together for years, having children or furry children together, etc.)

There are minor differences between the two families and their approaches, but the basics are there. No time alone together in-person and limited physical contact before marriage - both families claim they allow the kids to pick their own standards. Interested suitor needs permission from the girl's father before entering pre-courtship, then again to court and get engaged. Some private texting/phone calls seem to be allowed after engagement or courtship (can't remember which.) 

Hope that helps! 

[seraaa]

10 hours ago, Jinder Roles said:

She probably means a unit test, not a final exam that determines most of your grade.

I've crammed for many a test before. Plus, Clown College isn't hard.

What does Carlin study?

[Gillyweed]

It's interesting that the Duggars always seem to fast track relationships, while the Bates (at least Carlin and Nathan when he was courting, I'm not quite sure abou the others) take their time. 

[Hmmm_idolatry]

Why is she crying?  It seems awfully irrational to miss a guy you've never even been alone with; especially when you're only gone for a few days.  It's not like she's studying abroad in Europe and missing her boyfriend who is back at home in the States.  

I have a suspicion that these girls get so wrapped up in these courtships because they are literally the only chance they will ever have to get out of their parents' houses.  It's the only way they can grow up.  Normal kids grow up by moving out on their own and/or getting a full time job and/or going off to college.  When you are a stay at home daughter, you are technically still a kid under your parents' roof, even if you are 28 years old.  It's yet another reason why this fundy lifestyle is so sick and twisted.  It literally stunts a person's growth and maturity.  

I strongly suspect that if they could go off to real colleges (not fundy college) or get full time jobs away from the home, they wouldn't be so obsessed with getting married right away.  It's creepy to think of the fact that they are literally children (in terms of their emotional development) until their wedding night, where they are assumed to dive right in to adulthood.  That has to take a toll on one's mental health, IMO.

[Georgiana]

It's Joy's body.  She can go on a diet if she wants to, if it makes her more comfortable.  Not all weight loss is evil or forced on women.  It's very common for brides to diet to look good in their dress and photos.  I think she looks lovely and happy.

I think her foundation is probably the right color, but has ingredients that provide flashback to a camera.  A lot of highlighting or luminating products look GREAT in person, but terrible on film where they read over-white like this, especially with a flash.  If you've ever been around filming, you know that makeup that looks great on camera often looks terrible in person, and vice versa.  

I get that Joy is young, but she's made an adult decision to get married, which means she's also made an adult decision to grow up, which she needs to start doing.  Jill and Joy seem to think it is normal to be clingy and over the top like this, but it is neither normal nor healthy.  Joy should take a good, hard look at how Jill and Derick are faring and realize that this sort of behavior has no place in adult relationships, which a marriage MUST be.  Joy is a strong woman and a strong person, and I hope she realizes that her fiance is likely attracted to this, and that growing into a stronger lady that doesn't cry without her headship is likely something that will STRENGTHEN not weaken her relationship. 

[nausicaa]

6 minutes ago, Hmmm_idolatry said:

I have a suspicion that these girls get so wrapped up in these courtships because they are literally the only chance they will ever have to get out of their parents' houses.  It's the only way they can grow up.  Normal kids grow up by moving out on their own and/or getting a full time job and/or going off to college.  When you are a stay at home daughter, you are technically still a kid under your parents' roof, even if you are 28 years old.  It's yet another reason why this fundy lifestyle is so sick and twisted.  It literally stunts a person's growth and maturity.  

It reminds me to The Bachelor. The women on it aren't allowed to watch TV or talk to family or often bring books or other hobby items to distract themselves. The producers do this on purpose to up the stakes. When your only distraction each day is the little time you get to spend with a guy, and you can do nothing else with your free time but talk about that guy with other women dating him, then all of a sudden, OMG that guy you just met is the MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER!

I mean, everyone gets a little too wrapped up in things when dating someone they really like, but at least the rest of us can temper it a bit by going to school and work or pursuing hobbies. And we're typically around other people who encourage us to keep a well-rounded life. All this young woman has is her fiance and wedding to think about.

Add in that I think their culture encourages homogeneity, so she sees all of her friends and sisters acting over the top while courting and assumes this is what she must do as well. 

It's so freaking unhealthy.

[singsingsing]

I'm not going to judge Joy for crying. For all I know she was crying about something completely unrelated. Maybe she misses him, and she was having really bad PMS, and someone said something rude to her earlier, and she's overwhelmed by wedding planning and imagining life as a married woman (even if she's happy about it), she ate something that didn't agree with her, and now she's getting a headache because Carlin won't shut up, but she doesn't necessarily want to share any of that with Carlin or the world, so when Carlin points her phone in her face and says, "Joy's crying because she misses her boyfriend soooo much!" Joy just says, "Yeah, I miss him so much."

I will judge Carlin "OMG ya'll I haaaaate studying for tests! Ugh! **Crying emoji** Super boring!!! Omg ya'll we miss our boyfriends soooooo much, hehe! We need our boyfriends here NOW!!" Girl, you are way too immature to even be thinking about marriage. Have fun with your friends, date, enjoy college, and take your time growing up. But we all know she'll probably be walking down the aisle and then giving birth in short order in a year - 18 months.

[VelociRapture]

2 hours ago, Gillyweed said:

It's interesting that the Duggars always seem to fast track relationships, while the Bates (at least Carlin and Nathan when he was courting, I'm not quite sure abou the others) take their time. 

The difference is that the Bateses have no issue introducing a "special friend" before a courtship. Ashley, Bobby, John, and Evan were all introduced before courting officially began. Not sure about Chad, Brandon, or Whitney.

The Duggars, on the other hand, appear to mostly wait until an engagement is likely to happen before announcing anything. Meaning that there could be a lengthier pre-courtship phase for some of them than we know about. We still don't know exactly when the Dills or Benessa started to get to know one another. Same for JoyStin - we know the rough time periods when they started courting officially, but not when they met or became interested in each other.

*Not sure about SmugAnna. Pretty sure we have a rough estimate for JinJer though - he appears to have entered the Duggar world around October of 2015, right around Jessa's baby shower. So anytime between them and the following fall is probably when he and Jinger started getting interested in each other.

ETA: Just remembered JinJer got married on Spurgeon's first birthday.... I swear I'm not completely delusional from sleep deprivation...

So change that to their "getting to know each other" phase starting before or around fall 2015.

[Thumper]

My stepdaughter is the same age as Joy. She is very intelligent, well traveled (is studying overseas right now), speaks 3 languages, and is in no way ready for marriage at this age. In many ways her life is just beginning. My heart breaks for these girls.

[WhyNotJulie]

Have we established whether Forsyth is pronounced exactly as it seems ("For-sythe") or if it's pronounced like "For-site"? I feel like I've heard Joy & Austin say "For-site" but I HATE that pronunciation and I don't want it to be true.

Also wow I just got caught up on the whole thing with Carlin's instagram story. Come on guys, let Joy miss her fiancé. I don't think it's that unreasonable for someone who's 19 to cry because they haven't been able to see their boyfriend in a while, never mind someone who they're planning a wedding with. It's a lot, and she's an emotional person, and as a fellow emotional person I feel the need to defend her here lol.