Joy and Austin: He's got the Joy Joy in his heart!

[VineHeart137]

I may be biased because I admittedly have a bit of a soft spot for Joy and the few episodes of BUB I've seen I've always thought Carlin was kind of annoying, but I found Carlin to be much more obnoxious and over the top than Joy in that video.

[neurogirl]

I actually sympathize with the crying. I live with my boyfriend of almost 5 years, but this spring I went out of the country briefly with my parents and I cried leaving the country because my dad was being a jerk, and I was imagining having to deal with his jerkiness without being able to contact the person who most often makes me happy. Not the same situation, but I can easily see how Joy would be crying to get away from her happy place, especially if she has any kind of even annoyance with the mega-family-athon rapist wedding she is headed to.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

18 hours ago, Jinder Roles said:

 

But yes, crying because you haven't seen your partner for a few days is a bit much. I find it's something teenagers do in their first relationship when they still have quite a bit of maturing to do. Or maybe she's a crier. 

I was going to say this. I remember quite vividly being 19 and insanely in love with my first boyfriend. He was my first kiss, first love, first everything. And I was convinced we would marry. We dated for a few years. The first year of the relationship was intense as hell. I would cry from missing him. 

I started dating my husband in my mid twenties and when we were apart at times I didn't cry. 

Its obvious to me Joy is involved in that intense teenage love and will marry during that time. Then she will immediately have a few kids and that teenage love will be long gone. I hope they are happy together. 

[eleanora3]

4 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

The difference is that the Bateses have no issue introducing a "special friend" before a courtship. Ashley, Bobby, John, and Evan were all introduced before courting officially began. Not sure about Chad, Brandon, or Whitney.

The Duggars, on the other hand, appear to mostly wait until an engagement is likely to happen before announcing anything. Meaning that there could be a lengthier pre-courtship phase for some of them than we know about. We still don't know exactly when the Dills or Benessa started to get to know one another. Same for JoyStin - we know the rough time periods when they started courting officially, but not when they met or became interested in each other.

*Not sure about SmugAnna. Pretty sure we have a rough estimate for JinJer though - he appears to have entered the Duggar world around October of 2015, right around Jessa's baby shower. So anytime between them and the following fall is probably when he and Jinger started getting interested in each other.

ETA: Just remembered JinJer got married on Spurgeon's first birthday.... I swear I'm not completely delusional from sleep deprivation...

So change that to their "getting to know each other" phase starting before or around fall 2015.

Jessa and Ben started "getting to know you" in April 2013 and started courting in September 2013 (source: in "A Duggar Says Yes" Jessa says they've been friends for 5 months. Ben also said in an interview that he became interested in her when he was 17 and she was 20, so he grew out his facial hair to look older.)

Jill and Derick started "getting to know you" in August 2013 and started courting in November 2013 (source: dillardfamily.com post "how I met the girl of my dreams")

Jinger and Jeremy started "getting to know you" in December 2015 and started courting in May 2016 (source: their courtship announcement video/the timeline chalkboard at her bridal shower)

No clue when Joy and Austin became interested.

 

So yeah, you're right that they don't announce until they are officially courting/sure. The Duggars' getting to know you phases do seem shorter I think..

[HarleyQuinn]

6 hours ago, seraaa said:

What does Carlin study?

God.

[Fundie Bunny]

8 hours ago, HarleyQuinn said:

God.

And probably how to be pretty for Jesús, she'si a young lady, after all

[evolutionbaby]

Maybe this has already been posted before, since the Crown of Beauty interview that is the source for this article came out a while ago now, and I know we've been talking about what Jana said in the interview, but there are some new quotes from Joy about her relationship with Austin that I had not yet heard. 

MY GOD!

Like these two gems:

Quote

“Through my single years and coming into my relationship with Austin I learned to, number one, TRUST the lord,” Joy-Anna said. “And number two, that God works through the authority he’s placed in my life.”

She's EIGHTEEN...she hasn't had single years! I could maybe see this being something that Jana would say if she finally found a partner, but this is cray cray.

[singsingsing]

I've noticed that fundies and conservative Christians love to talk about the trials they faced in their 'single years' no matter how old they are. "Through my single years, I had to patiently wait on the Lord's timing. It wasn't easy at all. Sometimes I would cry myself to sleep, wondering if Jesus was calling me to a life of singleness. But I gave it all over to God, and finally at the age of 23 I met my husband! Don't give up hope, ladies!!"

[Bethella]

25 minutes ago, evolutionbaby said:

She's EIGHTEEN...she hasn't had single years! I could maybe see this being something that Jana would say if she finally found a partner, but this is cray cray.

I don't disagree with you, but I feel I should point out that she's nineteen.

[Hmmm_idolatry]

17 hours ago, VineHeart137 said:

I may be biased because I admittedly have a bit of a soft spot for Joy and the few episodes of BUB I've seen I've always thought Carlin was kind of annoying, but I found Carlin to be much more obnoxious and over the top than Joy in that video.

I've never watched a full episode of the Bates, but from the bits I've seen, IMO, Carlin is basically the female version of Lawson.  Both seem to be absolutely in love with themselves.  

In regard to Joy and her so-called single years, I feel like shouting at her, "Oh!  You mean your childhood?!" 

[AnnaRuk09]

1 hour ago, evolutionbaby said:

Maybe this has already been posted before, since the Crown of Beauty interview that is the source for this article came out a while ago now, and I know we've been talking about what Jana said in the interview, but there are some new quotes from Joy about her relationship with Austin that I had not yet heard. 

MY GOD!

Like these two gems:

"Through my single years and coming into my relationship with Austin I learned to, number one, TRUST the lord,” Joy-Anna said. “And number two, that God works through the authority he’s placed in my life.”

She's EIGHTEEN...she hasn't had single years! I could maybe see this being something that Jana would say if she finally found a partner, but this is cray cray.

I've seen this pic of Jana many times and every time I see it it makes me laugh (@Suz8710 love it!). All that came to mind after reading Joy's quote was Jana's face in that pic 

also, who's the authority Joy's referring to? JB?

[Icea]

I think Joy crying over missing Austin is actually a very healthy sign, because that is typical teenage behaviour. Like @singsingsingsaid, she could have had a lot of pent up emotions and missing Austin could just be the thing that tipped everything over and became the catalyst. The gothardites often come across as very robotic because they're taught to keep sweet at all times, which is why I always find it encouraging when they show some genuine emotions since it means there is still some spark left in that person, however small.

It's also nice to see that Joy and Carlin are such good friends that they actually feel comfortable crying in eachother's company when they're alone together, and that it isn't just some superficial relationship where the friend could be easily swapped and exchanged for someone else. It is however a really shitty thing for Carlin to film that moment and put it up on social media, but I guess that's quite normal for teenagers these days?

What is disconcerting though is the fact that said teenager, who obviously is still quite immature and haven't been taught (or learned) how to cope with "negative" (Gothard's thinking, not mine) emotions is getting married within a few months, but that's a different discussion...

[moreorlessnu]

On 3/30/2017 at 11:01 PM, front hugs > duggs said:

Holy cow. Carlin Bates instagram story right now. Joy crying because she misses Austin (not like sobbing. But you can tell in my opinion she actually has been crying). And then says she needs flash cards. I'm guessing just for Carlin though. 

Where are you seeing this? I can't seem to find the "official" Carlin Bates instagram.

[VineHeart137]

4 minutes ago, moreorlessnu said:

Where are you seeing this? I can't seem to find the "official" Carlin Bates instagram.

Her IG is carlinbates98, but the video won't be there any more. It was a "story" which disappears after 24 hours.

[moreorlessnu]

Thank you, VineHeart137!

[Mela99]

Single years. Honest to god. . . . .

But I'm not surprised. That's all she knows. From the time she started puberty she's probably been taught that her body is now primed and ready for baby making and it's her mission to spend every waking moment being pure and waiting for her father to find her a husband. . . . 

[nst]

2 hours ago, moreorlessnu said:

Where are you seeing this? I can't seem to find the "official" Carlin Bates instagram.

I saw it on dedicated to the duggars tumblr - joy was "crying" please

give me a break 

7 hours ago, Icea said:

I think Joy crying over missing Austin is actually a very healthy sign, because that is typical teenage behaviour. Like @singsingsingsaid, she could have had a lot of pent up emotions and missing Austin could just be the thing that tipped everything over and became the catalyst. The gothardites often come across as very robotic because they're taught to keep sweet at all times, which is why I always find it encouraging when they show some genuine emotions since it means there is still some spark left in that person, however small.

It's also nice to see that Joy and Carlin are such good friends that they actually feel comfortable crying in eachother's company when they're alone together, and that it isn't just some superficial relationship where the friend could be easily swapped and exchanged for someone else. It is however a really shitty thing for Carlin to film that moment and put it up on social media, but I guess that's quite normal for teenagers these days?

What is disconcerting though is the fact that said teenager, who obviously is still quite immature and haven't been taught (or learned) how to cope with "negative" (Gothard's thinking, not mine) emotions is getting married within a few months, but that's a different discussion...

and if you notice carlin said boyfriends 

not boyfriend 

but used plural 

 

[LawsonBatesEgo]

On 4/1/2017 at 8:00 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

I was going to say this. I remember quite vividly being 19 and insanely in love with my first boyfriend. He was my first kiss, first love, first everything. And I was convinced we would marry. We dated for a few years. The first year of the relationship was intense as hell. I would cry from missing him. 

I started dating my husband in my mid twenties and when we were apart at times I didn't cry. 

Its obvious to me Joy is involved in that intense teenage love and will marry during that time. Then she will immediately have a few kids and that teenage love will be long gone. I hope they are happy together. 

I'm 30 and I still remember being like that with my first boyfriend when i was 17/18. Obviously it is something I have long outgrown (Mr LBE went to France for family stuff for 2 weeks without me and i think I only Skyped him once or twice and texted a couple of times to basically co-ordinate what time he needed me to pick him up from the airport when he got back).

I think this behaviour, as weird as it seems to people who are long out of that stage, is fairly normal. The problem is, most people don't have rings involved and don't have to rush down the aisle within a few months of meeting to be able to kiss and have sex.

I hope they don't end up like Jill and Derick, who don't exactly seem happy anymore. 

[LawsonBatesEgo]

On 4/1/2017 at 4:01 AM, nausicaa said:

It reminds me to The Bachelor. The women on it aren't allowed to watch TV or talk to family or often bring books or other hobby items to distract themselves. The producers do this on purpose to up the stakes. When your only distraction each day is the little time you get to spend with a guy, and you can do nothing else with your free time but talk about that guy with other women dating him, then all of a sudden, OMG that guy you just met is the MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER!

I mean, everyone gets a little too wrapped up in things when dating someone they really like, but at least the rest of us can temper it a bit by going to school and work or pursuing hobbies. And we're typically around other people who encourage us to keep a well-rounded life. All this young woman has is her fiance and wedding to think about.

Add in that I think their culture encourages homogeneity, so she sees all of her friends and sisters acting over the top while courting and assumes this is what she must do as well. 

It's so freaking unhealthy.

A friend's sister was on an Australian cooking reality TV show and reported the same sort of thing. They were only allowed very limited contact with family/friends, not allowed phones/tvs/etc and were constantly intentionally put on a schedule that meant they were not able to get enough sleep (like being made to film until 1:30am at night and then woken up for an early morning challenge at 5am).......all so they'd be tired/ cranky and prone to tearful meltdowns to the camera. 

[actuallyjessica]

A friend's sister was on an Australian cooking reality TV show and reported the same sort of thing. They were only allowed very limited contact with family/friends, not allowed phones/tvs/etc and were constantly intentionally put on a schedule that meant they were not able to get enough sleep (like being made to film until 1:30am at night and then woken up for an early morning challenge at 5am).......all so they'd be tired/ cranky and prone to tearful meltdowns to the camera. 

I am very curious which show this was! Masterchef, or MKR, by any chance?

[Four is Enough]

I think Project Runway does the same sorts of things to contestants to up the drama factor.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

36 minutes ago, Four is Enough said:

I think Project Runway does the same sorts of things to contestants to up the drama factor.

I've often wondered why everyone is so cranky and confrontational. I'm thinking where do they find all the assholes and this explains it, I'm a real asshole when tired and stressed out too. 

[feministxtian]

I just stalked the registry...they have a 1900.00 Rainbow vacuum on there! Holy Grifters Batman! 

[JermajestyDuggar]

40 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

I just stalked the registry...they have a 1900.00 Rainbow vacuum on there! Holy Grifters Batman! 

She learned from the best!

[Mela99]

41 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

I just stalked the registry...they have a 1900.00 Rainbow vacuum on there! Holy Grifters Batman! 

Man ... what do you get for a $1900.00 vacuum?? I've owned a Dyson and a Shark and I didn't pay more than $300 for either of them. Those loony Kirby people have come to the door more than once trying to sell us that $2,000.00 one.