Tim Robertson and Tabitha Paine: April Fool's?

[titerlitury]

Ok, so we know Duggars and Bateses will attend the wedding. But I'm wondering if they let their kids to be in wedding party. I mean, Tabitha and Jana seems quite close, she could also chose Erin Paine as her bridesmaid. 

If my best friend or my partner's sister will plan to get marry with such awful man, there will be absolutely no chance that I will agree and take a part in this wedding. But that's my opinion, I have no clue how they deal with such affair in fundie-galaxy.

Another thing - will we ever see photos of Jim Bob and J'Chelle congratulating newlyweds? I think they risk tabloids headers "Duggars at wedding of their friend, who is known as rapist". And we know they travel with whole family, even kids. I can't even...

[RainbowSky]

This is going to sound odd and definitely not grammatically correct. I can't figure out how to word it.

I wonder if since he said she didn't want to get caught cheating on her bf with him, if he has explained it was anal because of the whole "keeping virginity" thing?

Like if anyone were to question him IRL. Or birth control purposes.

Hmm. 

Because to my head, that would be worse than just vaginal sex with someone you aren't married to, to them. Right?

[Jucifer]

I've read this whole thread and I feel sick.

I was raised in an extreme fundie culture.  I understand being mentally beaten down again and again, being told your thoughts and feelings don't matter... and questioning what your parents and church leaders say is a sin.

Despite all this nonsense I managed to hold on to my sense of self, my own feelings about what was right and wrong.  It was in many ways the only guidance that I trusted.

Does Tabitha have that same spark?  How could she not have it?  It confounds me and breaks my heart.

There is still time for her to say no to this creep.  I hope she finds the strength to do it.

Edited March 31, 2017 by Jucifer

[formergothardite]

16 hours ago, titerlitury said:

But I'm wondering if they let their kids to be in wedding party. I mean, Tabitha and Jana seems quite close, she could also chose Erin Paine as her bridesmaid. 

If she asked I doubt any of them would mind or even think to not allow it. I truly don't think the Bates and Duggars were shocked or horrified by the rape story. They most likely are more upset about the negative publicity. These aren't folks that have a strong record of standing up for sexual assault victims. They tend to lean on the "blame the victim" and "cover it all up" side. 

[ophelia]

48 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

If she asked I doubt any of them would mind or even think to not allow it. I truly don't think the Bates and Duggars were shocked or horrified by the rape story. They most likely are more upset about the negative publicity. These aren't folks that have a strong record of standing up for sexual assault victims. They tend to lean on the "blame the victim" and "cover it all up" side. 

And since he found Jesus and is now a true believer (at least in their branch of christianity) he might also be a saint that is no persecuted by the evil liberal world.

[JermajestyDuggar]

My prediction is that The wedding tomorrow will be fairly discreet on social media. So there will be pictures of friends fellowshipping together (like the Bates and Duggar families posing for cute pictures) but I doubt much will be said about the actual couple getting married. 

And since the registry is dead, I think that one was abandoned and they made a new one that is private. 

[front hugs > duggs]

Is there no initial ick factor to them before their brainwashing kicks in? If you're Jana or Joy, and you find out he raped a woman, especially anally, can't you at least have an initial reaction of like BLECHHHH before being like oh well he repented it's fine. Do they truly feel he is now okay?

I watched the Making a Murderer documentary last year about Steven Avery. I personally think that there was a lot of police corruption in the case and the trail was not at all fair. However, I still would not want to be alone in a room with Steve Avery right now. I wonder if they can at least say, oh Tim's fine he's sorry victim's fault, but I still wouldn't' want to be alone with him.

[Melissa1977]

Is Tabitha a Chad's sister? And she's marrying a rapist?????!!!???111

[Bad Wolf]

9 minutes ago, Melissa1977 said:

Is Tabitha a Chad's sister? And she's marrying a rapist?????!!!???111

Jesus forgave him, and God expunged his record, so it's all good. 

[HarleyQuinn]

I was a few pages behind on this thread and I was hoping by the time I got to the end of it, the wedding would be called off. Nope.

*heavy sigh*

[singsingsing]

They probably believe his story, that he didn't rape her. So they think he just had consensual sex, which is bad in their minds, but hey, he felt ashamed of himself, asked Jesus to forgive him, and now he's a new man. So it's all in the past. They also believe that being "persecuted" by the world is a sign that you're doing something right. So Tim must be on the right path and a holy man of God, because Satan is influencing us heathens to persecute him. Satan wouldn't bother with him if he wasn't such a great warrior for Christ.

[formergothardite]

4 hours ago, front hugs > duggs said:

s there no initial ick factor to them before their brainwashing kicks in? If you're Jana or Joy, and you find out he raped a woman, especially anally, can't you at least have an initial reaction of like BLECHHHH before being like oh well he repented it's fine. Do they truly feel he is now okay?

They don't see it how we see it.

We see it:

Man anally rapes a woman, calls her a lying slut, never really admits he raped her. We don't want our kids, dogs, cats, unicorns or pet rocks around a man like that.

How they see it:

Godly man lived a worldly life before salvation. He had anal sex with a stripper and the slut lied to prevent her boyfriend from getting upset. Man has repented of his worldly life, but really, the slut lied. He is now all forgiven, his slate is wiped clean, we will let our daughter marry him and let him be around our kids. The world just doesn't understand how strippers will lie about being raped. 

[JMO]

Going back to the Tom Green documentary.  I started watching it.  Whoa.  I didn't expect it when their son had died.  That was just awful.  I think that was the only moment that stopped me and made me feel real sympathy for them and their crazy life.  How sad for all of them.  

(And it was crazy that he was born the same day as his uncle/brother.  What sort of craziness is that??)

[neurogirl]

Tabitha's situation is completely horrible, and what I say next is in no way meant to dismiss the terrible-ness:

I at least don't think Jana will suffer the same fate, as the Duggar brand is already irreparably damaged, and Jana's courtship will attract national interest, so her betrothed will at least have the appearance of being nice and be scandal free...right??????

[Hmmm_idolatry]

I hate to say this, but I strongly suspect that in their fundy world, it didn't count because the victim was a stripper.  I suspect that this crowd, much like serial killers who target prostitutes, believes that women who work in the sex industry are merely disposable playthings.  The evil whore took advantage of the "godly" man simply by being a stripper.  The whole, "she asked for it" line of thinking.  Barf.  My heart goes out to the victim.  I hope she's received actual therapy and counseling and is putting her life back together in a healthy way.  The perpetrator can go and eat a bag of dicks.  Scumbag.  

I also worry about Tabitha.  I hope her marriage is safe and healthy 100% of the time.  

[justmy2cents]

Jana and Joy are sheltered. It's very unlikely that they know any details. They probably just think he sinned and repented and now he's right with god.

[mstee]

I've only kept up with this story a little. Do we know who his parents are and how he ended up a fundy? It seems odd to go from being roommates with a woman who works as a stripper to being a fundy guy marrying into one of the more noteable fundy families. Like two different worlds. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

39 minutes ago, mstee said:

I've only kept up with this story a little. Do we know who his parents are and how he ended up a fundy? It seems odd to go from being roommates with a woman who works as a stripper to being a fundy guy marrying into one of the more noteable fundy families. Like two different worlds. 

He didn't grow up fundie. I believe he was raised by a single mother. He did not become religious or fundie until after he was convicted of rape. I think he got saved sometime in the early 2000s. He does remodeling and had pictures of some of his work on his FB page before he deleted it. I assume Tabitha met him through running in he same circles as the Paines since he lives in tennessee and worked at Crown in security (which is so fucked people since he has a rape conviction).

[nausicaa]

3 hours ago, formergothardite said:

They don't see it how we see it.

We see it:

Man anally rapes a woman, calls her a lying slut, never really admits he raped her. We don't want our kids, dogs, cats, unicorns or pet rocks around a man like that.

How they see it:

Godly man lived a worldly life before salvation. He had anal sex with a stripper and the slut lied to prevent her boyfriend from getting upset. Man has repented of his worldly life, but really, the slut lied. He is now all forgiven, his slate is wiped clean, we will let our daughter marry him and let him be around our kids. The world just doesn't understand how strippers will lie about being raped. 

Also, sexual assault with the lying slut didn't really count. I mean, she must have seduced him, and been asking for it anyway with her job, clothing, and drinking. Men don't do that with "nice girls" and virginal, skirts-only Tabitha is obviously a nice girl who a man knows he has to treat well. 

(And I nearly fell into a rage coma just typing that out.)

ETA: Just saw that @Hmmm_idolatry beat me to it. God, it's so depressing that we all know the rape culture script so well we can recite it word for word.

[mstee]

@JermajestyDuggar thanks for the info. 

He worked as security? I don't even have words for that. 

[justwatching]

8 hours ago, front hugs > duggs said:

Is there no initial ick factor to them before their brainwashing kicks in? If you're Jana or Joy, and you find out he raped a woman, especially anally, can't you at least have an initial reaction of like BLECHHHH before being like oh well he repented it's fine. Do they truly feel he is now okay?

I watched the Making a Murderer documentary last year about Steven Avery. I personally think that there was a lot of police corruption in the case and the trail was not at all fair. However, I still would not want to be alone in a room with Steve Avery right now. I wonder if they can at least say, oh Tim's fine he's sorry victim's fault, but I still wouldn't' want to be alone with him.

I agree.  I truly believe in redemption by Grace, and forgiveness.  But I wouldn't want my daughter marrying him.

[Carm_88]

55 minutes ago, mstee said:

@JermajestyDuggar thanks for the info. 

He worked as security? I don't even have words for that. 

Yep, that's just what I would want protecting young women, a rapist. 

[Coconut Flan]

They seem to have missed the axiom forgiven but not forgotten.

[Hmmm_idolatry]

I believe in redemption through counseling and therapy conducted by a licensed medical doctor.  And lots of therapy and counseling.  

If did not receive his redemption in this way, then he's not rehabilitated, IMO.  

[Carm_88]

4 minutes ago, Hmmm_idolatry said:

I believe in redemption through counseling and therapy conducted by a licensed medical doctor.  And lots of therapy and counseling.  

If did not receive his redemption in this way, then he's not rehabilitated, IMO.  

He's using the Fundie lifestyle to victim blame. He's about as rehabilitated as Bill Gothard.