Sierra: Loving God Into Existence Through Her Husband

[Bad Wolf]

Agreed. She also seems to know her children as individuals, not just the number in her quiver.

[Casserole]

I don't like to give her blog clicks, but I wanted to read it for myself. I unfortunately can't say I'm surprised. When a "normal" person goes fundie, there is usually a bigger, deeper reason. 

It sounds grandfather-like. I'm sad that she was still forced to encounter her abuser once her parents knew. I wouldn't even bring my children to the same town as the abuser if I found out they sexually abused my child. 

I am a little mad at the people who "comforted" her by bringing her to church to be saved. She was a vulnerable child. If that helped, great, but I hope someone also brought her to a licensed therapist. 

[Denim Jumper]

It was really brave of her to share something so personal. Sierra has always been the one fundie that I can't bear to snark on; I could totally picture a couple of dorks like us getting along really well. 

[princessmahina]

I kinda feel bad for snarking on her now. That was a very touching blog post and one I can empathize with. I really do hope that at some point she got therapy-- she sounds like she could have/could still use a professional to talk to.

[Jinder Roles]

Wow that was very brave of Sierra to share. Also it sounds like she had her laundry room meltdown and unlike Michelle, found a healthier way to work through it. That kind of explains why she has the energy to do all the things she does.

Sierra may annoy us sometimes, and her no doubt some of her views are toxic, but she doesn't seem to be a judgmental fundie. Most of her blog posts and statuses are about encouraging others. I think she's one of the most sincere fundies we've seen. She has a good heart.

It seems like her enthusiastic/joyful personality is a conscious decision and perhaps a coping mechanism? (just my opinion)

[SamiKatz]

That post really is very open and touching, and I would think hard for her to write given her religious background and how that group handles issues of sexual assault.  I think for her to even call it by that name is brave.  It would be very nice if it would help other women in the same circumstances recognize things that may have happened in their life as well and realize it is something that happened to them, not because of them or anything they did (or wore, or because they were born female).

I firmly believe this is an issue a lot of women (and men), have dealt with in their past, and that is being borne out by the comments.

[JillyO]

3 hours ago, Casserole said:

I'm sad that she was still forced to encounter her abuser once her parents knew. I wouldn't even bring my children to the same town as the abuser if I found out they sexually abused my child.

Agreed. Sierra talks about how great she thinks her mom/parents handled it and I'm just sitting here, like, WHAT? They made you see your abuser for years after they found out he sexually abused you. And what if he hadn't did when he did? Would you have 15 years of your life missing now? I agree that Sierra is very brave for sharing her story, and I am glad she seems to be doing well. But I'm sorry, her parents completely failed her. I, too, hope she at least got real therapy. But judging by her descent into fundamentalist religion, I'm assuming that would also be a negative.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

Apple butter being bought I can see, that is a PITA to make but tastes so good, if done properly, it isn't butter it is more of a jam.  Honey butter is so easy to make all you need is butter and honey and mix, real butter not that stuff in a tub. 

 

[VanillaBean]

Yes, her parents didn't handle it perfectly,  but i think they did the best they could and clearly loved and believed their little girl. She feels/felt supported, and that counts for a lot. Light years ahead of the Duggars in any case. 

[FleeJanaFree]

Sad that this happened to Sierra, but happy she found a peace,  and also proud that she has the strength to talk publicly about it. (I have only spoken out loud once about a traumatizing incident of my own)

 

revolted that her parents didn't disown the abuser. Puke.

[nastyhobbitses]

I'm pissed off that her parents didn't IMMEDIATELY cut off the scumbag who abused her (like, OK, I get that denial is a bitch and a half, but really? You wait until the fucker's dead YEARS later to apologize to your daughter for putting her in harm's way? You're her parents, not the Bureau of Indian Affairs -- you say you're sorry and protect her right away, not wait years and years and go "lol oopsies sorry you've spent years suffering through untold trauma while I did nothing or actively facilitated your trauma"), but I am glad that she's found peace and happiness in her life (though I hope she's gotten real professional help). I still think she's a bit ridiculous, but I can't snark on someone finding joy and purpose after some severe trauma.

[season of life]

I know it must be difficult to hear your child has been abused, but I am in shock to read that her parents allowed face-to-face contact with her abuser. Maybe there is more to the situation, but that screamed bad parenting to me.

[Casserole]

26 minutes ago, season of life said:

I know it must be difficult to hear your child has been abused, but I am in shock to read that her parents allowed face-to-face contact with her abuser. Maybe there is more to the situation, but that screamed bad parenting to me.

The thought of her mom blocking the bathroom makes me want to vomit because it proves not only did they know, they were very well aware that bringing her to that house could allow it to happen again. She blocked the door to make sure a family member didn't sneak in on her young and vulnerable daughter in the restroom to assault her again. Her daughter relied on her to keep her safe and while she did to some extent, she also put her back in harm's way. 

So so so soooooo much wrong with that. 

[Coy Koi]

3 minutes ago, Casserole said:

The thought of her mom blocking the bathroom makes me want to vomit because it proves not only did they know, they were very well aware that bringing her to that house could allow it to happen again. She blocked the door to make sure a family member didn't sneak in on her young and vulnerable daughter in the restroom to assault her again. Her daughter relied on her to keep her safe and while she did to some extent, she also put her back in harm's way. 

So so so soooooo much wrong with that. 

And were all the other children guarded so closely too? What is wrong with this family that they allowed someone at their gatherings that was such an obvious danger to their children? I know that kind of thing is unfortunately far too common, but that doesn't make it less incomprehensible to me. If a relative sexually abused my child, I'd let the rest of the family know that it was him or us.

[season of life]

Speaking from my own experience being sexually assaulted, I think some parents don't take action because they don't want to be in the position to confront something so big. I was assaulted in high school and when I told my mother, she went with me to talk to someone at the school so he could be held accountable. My father took no part in that. He just told my mom to deal with it and that was it. Maybe he thought, like Sierra's parents, this was the best he could offer. I have no idea what compels parents to do the bare minimum. If Sierra has found peace, more power to her.

[Snarkle Motion]

6 hours ago, season of life said:

Speaking from my own experience being sexually assaulted, I think some parents don't take action because they don't want to be in the position to confront something so big. I was assaulted in high school and when I told my mother, she went with me to talk to someone at the school so he could be held accountable. My father took no part in that. He just told my mom to deal with it and that was it. Maybe he thought, like Sierra's parents, this was the best he could offer. I have no idea what compels parents to do the bare minimum. If Sierra has found peace, more power to her.

I'm so sorry that happened to you. I think your points are very true. When it happens, people don't know how to handle it.

We'd like to think we would do the right thing but truth is that family dynamics and even financial situations can complicate situations (like he gave us money for a down payment on a house will he make us pay that back if we confront him). I know that sounds terrible but family is complicated and makes people not think straight.  If this was a grandparent it means it was one of her parents parents. That's hard. That could also mean that person was abused and just didn't know the right way to respond. They could still be scared of this person. While yes I think they absolutely responded wrong I can also be sympathetic as to what makes a person not think clearly in these situations.

[Jessie E]

I read Sierra's most recent post about the terrible abuse she suffered.  I feel very bad for her. I had a feeling all along that there was something more going on with her.  On social media she seems to constantly push the idea that she is so happy.  I figured that maybe deep down she regretted taking on the fundie life style and was over compensating.  But now I am thinking that it has to do more with the abuse and she is now trying so hard to find joy.  Make sense as to how she got sucked into the fundie life.

 I feel she has done a much better job at dealing with her past then the Duggars and I am glad to see that she has not blamed herself.  Sure she's a bit annoying at times and prior to this post I enjoyed the snark as much as anyone.  But I have to give her credit here.  She's brave and is definitely handling it all much better than any Duggar! 

[halcionne]

Can someone link Sierra's post here, please?

tia

[Jessie E]

2 minutes ago, halcionne said:

Can someone link Sierra's post here, please?

tia

http://dojosdesigns.blogspot.ca/2017/01/finding-joy-in-season-of-loneliness.html

[Bad Wolf]

I'm beginning to think that all the snarking we did on Sierra (no heaters for an outdoor wedding reception, freezer door left open, a bazillion flamingos which had to be painted, etc.) were set up by TLC.

They really made her out to be a manic scatterbrain, with zero skills.

[MayMay1123]

2 hours ago, Jessie E said:

http://dojosdesigns.blogspot.ca/2017/01/finding-joy-in-season-of-loneliness.html

Oh wow...thanks for linking that...I won't be able to snark on her again...and I hope tlc doesn't make her look like an idiot ever again.

[Carm_88]

Wow! Sierra is truly a strong person and I hope that she knows that she is not at fault. It seems like she does. Poor child.  

[nastyhobbitses]

7 hours ago, Jessie E said:

I read Sierra's most recent post about the terrible abuse she suffered.  I feel very bad for her. I had a feeling all along that there was something more going on with her.  On social media she seems to constantly push the idea that she is so happy.  I figured that maybe deep down she regretted taking on the fundie life style and was over compensating.  But now I am thinking that it has to do more with the abuse and she is now trying so hard to find joy.  Make sense as to how she got sucked into the fundie life.

 I feel she has done a much better job at dealing with her past then the Duggars and I am glad to see that she has not blamed herself.  Sure she's a bit annoying at times and prior to this post I enjoyed the snark as much as anyone.  But I have to give her credit here.  She's brave and is definitely handling it all much better than any Duggar! 

She's not under any obligation to do this, but I hope that through her friendship with the Duggar girls, she's able to show them that healing from trauma is hard, but with love and support (and not asshole parents who keep letting your abuser have access to you), you can keep on trucking, and reassures them that what happened was not even remotely their fault.

[princessmahina]

1 hour ago, nastyhobbitses said:

She's not under any obligation to do this, but I hope that through her friendship with the Duggar girls, she's able to show them that healing from trauma is hard, but with love and support (and not asshole parents who keep letting your abuser have access to you), you can keep on trucking, and reassures them that what happened was not even remotely their fault.

That's a good point. And even if she doesn't talk to them about it (and I think at some point the subject probably came up, since there was such a public hoopla about it), that they see her as a good example. Maybe not in all things, but in that one aspect. 

[Snarkle Motion]

I know people were snarking on some of her posts about fights with her husband but to me that actually suggests that Sierra has a strong marriage. People who post perfect bliss 100% of the time are overcompensating for something. She actually comes across as really genuine and strong and I hope she is a positive influence on the duggar girls lives.