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The Quiverful of Duggars sub-forum has their own rundown of Duggar wedding dresses, so now with Tori Bates getting married, we obviously need a thread dedicated to dresses. Post your rankings! Here's mine, from best to least: 1. Tori (Bates) Smith Without question, the most sophisticated dress and despite some iffy modifications, overall beautiful. Extra points for the long train, classy updo, nice shoes, being adventurous enough to choose a champagne underlay, a fitted lace bodice with some sparkle, and even going for a bit of a sexier look. Could be perfect if fitted better on the waist and possibly didn't have the shear sleeves but just the lace cap sleeves, since there's already a lot going on. Her whole winter theme came together well, so this is easily my personal favorite Bates wedding. 2. Alyssa (Bates) Webster Kudos to Alyssa for going for a well-fitted trumpet style, it looked great on her and fit her personality. Extra points for the bright pink shoes and manila veil. Points taken away for the awkward flower on the waist, the earrings that do not fit the look, and the weird thick strap/cap sleeve since we all know Alyssa was itching to ditch the modesty standards the second she got to Florida. The Barbie pink and blue colors are not for me, but are fitting for her age, personality, and time of year. 3. Whitney (Perkins) Bates I personally don't like Whitney's dress at all, but at least it fit her well and she went for a cute bolero instead of some dumb modesty modification. I also don't like the gathered-to-the-side style but again, that's just me. Can you imagine her look though if she hadn't been trying her best to be "modest" to impress her new fundie in-laws, had already gone to a few other fundie weddings like Jessa and Jinger's, and had come into the awesome sense of style and beautiful hair she has now? I think she would have looked great in Jessa's dress and a nice updo instead of the over-geled bangs and slightly crunchy waves. Bonus points for this sassy pose though, showing us that jeans and a career in real estate would eventually be in her future even if she had to hide her leggings in her honeymoon pics: 4. Erin (Bates) Paine I actually thought Erin looked really cute overall and it helps that she's just such a beautiful girl that she'd make any dress look okay, even though she was a victim of the fundie-modesty-frankenstein-t-shirt-dress trend. The dress fit her bodice well, the princess style suited her personality perfectly, there was just enough sparkle, but I just can't get past that awful modesty panel on the front and dumb sleeves. Can you imagine what her wedding would have looked like in 2017 once the Bates had more money from their show and fundies were finding designers like Ms. Renee? Extra points for great hair though and without question the hottest fundie husband: 5. Michael (Bates) Keilen Poor Michael, she seems like such a nice person but her dress was Rufus-awful and I can't even start on the hair. Her dress is the worst example of modesty-frankenstein alterations, with that horrible ruched front and badly done sleeves, and just generally not form-fitting in any way. As a fellow short girl, she either should have skipped the A-line style for something more fitted at the hips (a sheath, trumpet, or mermaid) or worn heels - it doesn't help that the way it was hemmed made it too long. The only nice thing I can say is I liked the cherry blossom/rustic theme including the pink and beige bridesmaid dresses since it fit their relationship history. Even worse that in the BuB episode we saw 2 dresses that looked SO much better on her. Look at that first one, and even her hair just down like that, she would have looked gorgeous! And just for fun, here's Kelly Jo and a porno-stached Gil:

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Welcome! It's your resident FJ Wedding Dress Enthusiast; Jinder. I fucking love wedding dresses and so will be ranking/reviewing all of the Duggar wedding gowns so far. This is intended to be light-hearted and in no way BEC....that's why I'm not reviewing any Bates' dresses (yikes). Feel free to share your favourite Duggar dresses so far! Let's get started. In order of most favourite to least favourite: 1. Jinger's Dress: The Showstopper. Jinger wowed all of us with her double-layered 13 ft. train. The traditional white lace ballgown featured pearl buttons and detailed 3/4 illusion-laced sleeves. It was made or 'made' by Ms. Renee of Renee's Bridal and Special Occasions. She completed the look with simple pearl earrings, a hand-made bracelet and a waltz-length veil. Bonus Points: Floral pink pumps for a pop of colour That lovely silver-beaded headband Wearing a styled updo! Managing a 13 ft. train. OMG that train is so gorgeous. Penalties: None! Jinger wins this one. 2. Jessa's Dress: The Blessa Blush Ballgown. Jessa also surprised viewers with her Allure Modest Collection blush ballgown. It was a lovely youthful look featuring a beaded bodice, cap-sleeves and tulle ball-gown skirt. She completed the look with a simple layered fingertip veil with a blusher (ha ha, see what I did there). Bonus Points: Her jeweled off-center headband! Wearing pink and not giving a fuck. Not giving Jim Bob the satisfaction of conducting her first kiss. Penalties: Sticking poor Jana in that offensively pink ruffle monstrosity. Not letting us see her shoes! (I know Blessa doesn't care about shoes, but I do). Make her wedding guests eat ice-cream outside, in November. Kendra's Dress: The Vivacious Voluminizer Kendra sported a fun ballgown also by Renee's Bridal and Special Occasions. This number featured a layered ballgown skirt (either of tulle or organza material) and a beaded bodice with cap-sleeves. She topped off the look with a very fluffy fingertip veil. Actually, Kendra's whole wedding look was quite fluffy. Bonus Points: Picking a dress that really complimented her personality. Not letting the dress wear her. Her beaming smile. Penalties: I wanted my rainbow poop emoji earrings, dammit! A lack of mint. Amy's Dress: The (Modern) Hit and (Modest) Miss. I know some may prefer to forget about her, but Amy was a Duggar at one point....and Essence of Australia dress was a big hit. The ivory gown was made from a silk-satin and featured a full pleated skirt and strapless sweetheart neckline. The dress was topped off with a lovely champagne sash that complimented her bridesmaids' dresses. She finished the look with some gorgeous earrings and a cathedral veil. Bonus Points: Wearing a cathedral veil (those are hard to manage!) Defrauding half her family with her neckline Choosing quality material. Wearing a well fitted dress. Celebrating her union with drink and dance. Penalties: Unfortunately, I had to subtract 10 points from Gryffindor because Amy's reception dress was...er, not the most flattering. I found it too shiny, too ruched and just too much. I know you're serving champagne Ames, but you don't have to wear it. She looked like a wedding guest...and not the best dressed one. I deem the champagne party starter dress a miss. I don't want this post to be too long, so I'll continue the series tomorrow. Thanks for entertaining my silliness. Good night!

In the spirit of fundie oversharing about deeply personal matters, I just want to announce that I can now righteously fulfill my desires. That means I can bone my husband.

Okay, so by some bizarre cosmic coincidence one of my very best friends (who happens to also be my only friend that still lives in my home town) is also getting married. She is also marrying a guy from overseas. Her fiance is also moving here. She also met her fiance online. She is also getting married rather quickly. Her fiance is also tall and skinny. They are also having a very low key registry wedding. They are also getting married very soon. They too are inviting only a handful of very close guests. It's pretty fucking weird how similar our circumstances are. However they have diverged with her unexpected announcement that she is expecting. I'm happy for her but there's a very real and selfish part of me that feels cheated. Not long ago she and I were discussing children and how they weren't really on the cards for my fiance and I. She agreed that she had no pull towards being a parent. That made me happy because literally everyone else I grew up with except this friend has kids. It was a relief to have a close friend to navigate childlessness with. We could continue to make out plans to meet up whenever it was convenient. We'd continue our beloved traditions of trawling thrift stores and going to the market, meeting up on a whim. We could maybe sometimes do couple things and it would be great. Now that's all changing very suddenly. Mostly I feel very protective of her. She's going through some hard shit that I won't write about here, even on a totally anonymous not-a-blog. I know she won't be one of THOSE parents whose identity becomes their child. I still worry, though. I want my friend of over 20 years. I want her to be recognisable on the other side for MY sake, and for that I'm sorry. I can't help but feel left behind. I honestly don't know if I can ever carry a child to term, and if I did there's a strong likelihood they would be a very sickly child like I was. Still, the idea of having our kids growing up being friends the way we did is a tempting one. I have to remind myself that really isn't on the cards for me, and hey - maybe if I did have a kid our kids would hate each other. She really needs a friend right now and I'll be there for her no matter my worries and selfish impulses. I can promise her that. Wow, that got heavy. Ha ha. Wasn't expecting that because the whole point of this blog post was something a lot more light-hearted and far more frustrating: shopping for wedding clothes. She and I went out shopping this morning at our favourite vintage store. My friend is gorgeous and very slim - even now she's pregnant - and found a billion different things to try. Sure, it was harder than usual because she had to accommodate the kid, but she managed to find this gorgeous blue dress. Good thing she did, because the wedding is about 10 days away! I found a few things to try on but sadly vintage clothes just aren't made for busty girls. It doesn't help that the store mostly has sizes 6-10. Vintage 6-10s are even smaller than regular ones. Even in my teen years when I was a 6 I would have been too busty to find a good fit. Now that I'm a 12 it's hopeless. I tried on a 16 (and it was such a gorgeous dress!) and it was WAY too small for my chest, and swimming in other areas. It's a shame because I LOVE vintage clothes. I have a few in my closet I could wear to her wedding but they're very much winter dresses and there's no way in hell I'm wearing anything wintery in the middle of summer. So I'm calling bullshit on clothes shopping. I knew it would be painful. I wish I could just wear jeans and a nerd t-shirt like I usually do. Or even better, ripped jeans, my leather chucks and a flannel shirt (I'm not getting married 'til Autumn). In fact, my friend told me to go ahead and do it! But I have parents to placate and I think I'll look back with regret if I didn't dress up just a little. I'm definitely not wearing a wedding dress, or anything white. I have ordered a dress but it's wholesale and from China and I have no expectations of it fitting in any way even though I ordered two sizes bigger than I am. It's more of a guideline for when I inevitably have to have a dress quickly made because my tits are too big, my legs too short and the rest of me too average. It's not meant to be painful. TV and magazines say getting a wedding dress is a huge milestone in life, one to be witnessed by family and friends (and cameras!), a time when the blinders fall away and you realise in a moment from a fairytale just how beautiful you can be. Bullshit. Not for me. I've been cheated and it's just not cricket.

I thought it might be a good idea to have a place to write about what's going on in my life, since big things are rapidly happening. First thing is that I'm getting married April 2016. Possibly even March. It's happened pretty fast but there's really no reason to wait since we don't want a party or a big wedding, and the sooner we're married the sooner my fiance can apply for a spouse visa and live here full time. I'm so happy and excited to marry him, I wish we could do it even sooner. I really couldn't hope to find a better partner than him <3 Second thing is that I'm disabled and live with chronic pain. I've finally managed to get in to see a pain clinic that offers comprehensive treatment. That comprehensive treatment means 5 hour sessions with everything from psychologists, psychiatrists and surgeons. Three five hour sessions. That's going to be really hard for me. I hate talking to strangers, especially strange doctors because doctors have been so fucking useless to me for the past 15 years of my life. My fiance will be able to come to my final appointment with me (thank god), and my mother will come to the first (you have to bring a relative/partner to certain appointments) but I know she's going to say stuff that will humiliate me because she has zero fucking tact. I'm also going to have to work on fixing up my apartment that I haven't lived in for 2 years so my fiance can move into it with me. It's going to be a bit of an adjustment, going from living by myself, being on my own all day to living with a partner full time. He has a job lined up (not that he can be paid until his spouse visa is approved) that means in a few months when his tourist visa expires he'll be out of the house most of the day. I never really saw myself as the stay at home wife type, but here I am. Hopefully we can both finish up our degrees and one day I'll be in a position to work. I don't want him to have to be the breadwinner, that's too much pressure on top of having to move half a world away. He's prepared to do it because he's wonderful, but it's not what I want. So yeah, got to fix up the apartment. Needs tons of cleaning (which I can't do, but my family is helping). I'll have to sort a lot of my shit into boxes and put the boxes... somewhere. God knows where. It's a lot going on at once for me and it's a bit overwhelming. On top of all that I'm really sick at the moment. Like, can't get out of bed for more than a trip to the bathroom or kitchen for a glass of water. If anyone actually reads this (which I doubt), don't worry. I'm sure I'll be on to bitterly eviscerating episodes of A Game of Thrones in no time at all. God damn, the writing on that show...