The book what Lori wrote: The Power of a Transformed Wife Pt2

[alba]

I went to St Andrews, where it was a running joke that we had the highest proportion of graduates marrying than any other uni (AND I was there the year the Cambridges married, which as you can imagine was a HUGE deal). Mr Alba and I met as students, and, five years out, at least half of my friends from there are in relationships with/married to each other. The myth is real

But I didn't know anyone getting their MRS degree, because it's hard work to get (and stay!) into that uni. Sure, some women were probably planning to find a husband, particularly among a certain class of society that was rather common in my English lit classes, but they were also clever and hard-working enough that they were preparing for a career as well.

Why am I surprised that Lori has once again written a post without thinking it through?

[usmcmom]

My husband and I went to a Christian university and our daughter chose to go to the same place. We told our kids they could attend any university they wanted as long as it fit the budget we set for their education. We did not make her go there. 

Anyway, the "junk" that Lori talks about happening in dorms? It DOES happen at Christian universities. Our alma mater just happened to be stricter when dealing with it than many public institutions.  We were visiting our daughter once and we had her and her roommate in the car. We drove up to the men's dorms to pick up the young man who became our son-in-law. Suddenly we heard the girls squealing and laughing from the back seat. It was broad daylight and they'd just seen a girl climbing out of the window of a men's dorm room. Men and women were NOT allowed in each others' rooms except on set visitation days so this was quite the sight and, of course the young people thought it was hilarious. Mainly because it was broad daylight and the girl thought she was being so sneaky.  

Our daughter was not interested in drinking and partying in college so the Christian college setting suited her just fine. Those who were interested in drinking and partying found a way, even in a dry county on a campus that did not  allow alcohol.  Conversely, a student who doesnot enjoy the party life can still find their niche at a public university. I've seen that happen lots of times. 

If, by the time we send our kids to college, we do not  trust their decision making skills and values, we have failed as parents. If Ken and Lori were upset that their college aged daughter had to hear about homosexual activity, they failed as parents. 

[Showtunesgirl]

I just got access to the comments section and I must say...WTH?? 

Quote

Here is another reason I don’t think higher education and careers are good for women. They make them less marriage material which is a bad thing and it all began due to feminism which has evil foundations and goals for women. It surely isn’t sanctioned by God or His will for women.

http://lorialexander.blogspot.com/2015/12/men-giving-up-on-marriage.html

Seriously?? So basically men just want uneducated, non-higher thinking wives? As for women who never marry (whether by choice or lack of opportunity), they're supposed to stay home forever and do nothing? What about after their father passes away and they're still unmarried? How are they supposed to survive?  

[luv2laugh]

Lori harps on about not sending daughters to college to justify the fact that her oldest daughter didn't go to college and her younger college left Biola bible to go to community college. She has to do this since she feels insecure that her daughters did not finish college and move into a career. Everyone else brags about their daughters and their successes and Lori has nothing to brag about with them. It's fun she says debt is the devil when her son went to dental school and I'm positive he had to take out loans!

[usmcmom]

Lori went to college and I think she met Ken there, which is why I find it very interesting that Lori told a reader "college may not have been God's plan for you...."  I think that statement speaks volumes and reflects Lori's regret in her own choices.  It has nothing to do with college being "ungodly" for women.  It's about Lori's college education not ending with the love of her life, but with Ken.  If she'd met a man she truly loved, I think she'd have a better view of education for women. 

[usmcmom]

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: How Are You Dressing?

This chapter begins with: "As believers in Jesus Christ who want to please Him in every area of our life, modesty should be something we take a deep interest in since the Lord has called us to be modest.  Anything that is important to him should be important to us as well."

We are reminded that some in the church believe that women should wear dresses only; while others believe any clothing is appropriate as long as it covers us and is not too tight or revealing.  She quotes this verse:

"A woman shall not wear man's clothing, nor shall a man put on a woman's clothing; for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God." Deuteronomy 22:5

We are told, however, that since we no longer live under the law, we are not obliged to follow this verse.  We must find out from Godly older women - and especially from our husbands - what modesty should look like for us.  Women should look feminine in their dress and men should look masculine in their dress.

I Timothy 2:9 reminds us that we are to adorn ourselves in modesty, which Lori interprets as not dressing in an alluring or seductive manner.

Lori goes on to write:

In other words, we should avoid sheer and clingly (sic) material, plunging necklines, short shorts, skimpy dresses, and so forth. We shouldn't wear low-cut tops or dresses that expose half our breasts or offer guys a clear view.  Modesty is an act of obedience to the Lord and and an act of kindness to men by helping them to reign in their natural impulse to take long looks - which can lead to inappropriate thoughts. 

We are then reminded that yoga pants are sinful and cause lusting in a man. Since lusting is a sin, a woman must do all she can to make sure a man does not engage in this sin.  If a man is honest, he will tell you that lusting happens anytime he sees something that "gets his motor running." 

We are reminded of this verse: "Woe to the world because of its stumbling blocks! For it is inevitable that stumbling blocks come; but woe to that man through whom the stumbling block comes!" Matthew 18:7.  "That man," of course, refers also to women and immodest women are stumbling blocks. 

We are also reminded that bikinis are NOT modest.  Lori has deemed board shorts and a tankini top to be modest since that's what she wears at the beach.

Lori ends this chapter with the story of how Ken made them leave the beach because "the view had changed,"  because there were sunbathers.  On the beach.  In California. 

[molecule]

15 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

Lori goes on to write:

In other words, we should avoid sheer and clingly (sic) material, plunging necklines, short shorts, skimpy dresses, and so forth. We shouldn't wear low-cut tops or dresses that expose half our breasts or offer guys a clear view.  Modesty is an act of obedience to the Lord and and an act of kindness to men by helping them to reign in their natural impulse to take long looks - which can lead to inappropriate thoughts. 

 

These words ^^^ surely need to be illustrated, lest anyone forget . . . 

[usmcmom]

Emily Alexander has been photographed in some very revealing outfits. One of her recent Facebook profile pictures made it look as though the camera was shooting straight down her top. This, while she cuddled her new baby. I can imagine the conversation at Ken and Lori's house about this. 

Lori: That top is so low cut. I should say something to her. 

Ken: Nah. She looks great. Leave her alone. 

My gripe is that Lori does not follow her own rules for modesty; nor could she even pass them on to her daughters in such a way that she demands of others. Further, she did not instill in her sons the importance of these rules to a degree that they would seek wives that followed them. THEREFORE, Lori needs to keep her mouth shut and her fingers still on this topic. I think this is the topic that angers me the most* because there is ACTUAL PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE THAT LORI ALEXANDER DOES NOT DRESS MODESTLY!!   NEITHER DO HER DAUGHTERS OR DAUGHTERS-IN-LAW!!! 

Sorry for yelling. 

*Okay. Maybe not the most. That might be the nanny and "quality time with children" contradiction. I mean THE BG FAT LIE THAT LORI TELLS HER READERS ABOUT WHAT A LOVING AND INVOLVED MOTHER SHE WAS. 

Sorry for yelling. Geesh! She makes me mad. 

[lilwriter85]

28 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

Emily Alexander has been photographed in some very revealing outfits. One of her recent Facebook profile pictures made it look as though the camera was shooting straight down her top. This, while she cuddled her new baby. I can imagine the conversation at Ken and Lori's house about this. 

Lori: That top is so low cut. I should say something to her. 

Ken: Nah. She looks great. Leave her alone. 

My gripe is that Lori does not follow her own rules for modesty; nor could she even pass them on to her daughters in such a way that she demands of others. Further, she did not instill in her sons the importance of these rules to a degree that they would seek wives that followed them. THEREFORE, Lori needs to keep her mouth shut and her fingers still on this topic. I think this is the topic that angers me the most* because there is ACTUAL PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE THAT LORI ALEXANDER DOES NOT DRESS MODESTLY!!   NEITHER DO HER DAUGHTERS OR DAUGHTERS-IN-LAW!!! 

Sorry for yelling. 

*Okay. Maybe not the most. That might be the nanny and "quality time with children" contradiction. I mean THE BG FAT LIE THAT LORI TELLS HER READERS ABOUT WHAT A LOVING AND INVOLVED MOTHER SHE WAS. 

Sorry for yelling. Geesh! She makes me mad. 

Lol this. We can't forget when Lori posted pictures of her son's female high school classmates in Homecoming dresses and said that dresses weren't modest enough for a Christian high school.

[Koala]

I'll tell you what gets me about the modesty thing.  She wrote 2 posts shaming young women she knows.  One was shaming her son's school mates for their homecoming dresses.  She included their picture, and only blocked their faces after someone said something.

The other was shaming the daughter of a woman she knows.  Lori claims she runs a thong making business.  What are the odds? 

So here's Lori, just posting away on the net, shaming women for everything from homecoming dresses to yoga pants. Does she ever mention that her own daughter doesn't abide by the modesty rules she holds other women's daughters to?  Nope.  Does she shame her own daughter?  Nope.  

The gall is just unbelievable.  She's a hypocrite in the truest sense of the word.

 

[feministxtian]

If my ratty-ass yoga pants make men lust, well...that's not my problem. And...since I pretty much hate wearing clothes, now that I'm home (not teaching), the best I can usually do is an oversized t-shirt and ratty bike shorts. Going out? Yoga pants, t-shirt and hoodie (it's gotten chilly here in the high desert). Now, when I start teaching again, I'll dress better...but until then? Hellz no!

[BunnyBee]

Holy shit guys. I have read all 31 pages of this thread in a single sitting tonight. I don't want to admit how embarrassingly long I have been staring at my laptop just digesting all of this. I just could not pull myself away.

I have never read the Lori Alexander threads, and retrospectively I am glad I haven't because wow. Reading this thread caused a whirlwind of emotions for me. I have laughed at the hilariously witty snark, been enraged by LorKen, welled up with tears reading some beautiful anecdotes from members, and truly dumbfounded by the hypocrisy.

@Koala you're the real MVP of this thread. The way you tactfully use Lori's own quotes to point out her bullshit makes LorKen newbies like me not only be able to follow the thread more clearly but truly understand the dumpster fire that is taking place. 

Seriously, the quality of this thread overall is just far above the Duggar threads I normally skim through. 

@usmcmom Thank you for your reviewing Lori's dribble, and for making me laugh. 

[IntrinsicallyDisordered]

@usmcmom, continued thanks for your terrific breakdown and review of the book and good thoughts for your family.  @koala, I agree with @BunnyBee, your recall and diligence in digging up Lori's words and hypocrisy is fantastic.  Thank you.  

I've been wearing yoga pants since I was young and thin and hot and I will continue wearing them until I am old and fat and dead.  They're comfortable and my comfort is more important than some douchecanoe's wandering eye.  The only time I've ever felt guilty about them was when I last minute took my youngest brother to his high school orientation and I had paired a particularly tight pair of yoga pants with a short and tight sweater (usually I wear a long tunic type shirt over them, because again comfort) because I was coming from a belly dancing class (I suuuuucked at belly dancing, no one being lead into sin there LOL).  I usually don't notice male attention but there were enough teenage boys turning around to stare or trip over themselves that I put my coat back on for the rest of the evening.  Grown men, like Ken?  Get over yourself, grow up, and act like an adult.  If you can't handle the odd pair of yoga pants or a thong (which I have never seen in real life either) you certainly can't handle being the head of a family.

[polecat]

"Ken and I plus our children went to Christian colleges but they certainly don't allow any of the stuff that goes on in University dorms to happen in the Christian dorms. Therefore, we didn't have to see the junk."

Hahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! I went to a fundamentalist Christian college right out of high school -- yeah, trust me, they might not "allow" any of that stuff, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. 

There are lots of Lori-style technical virgins in Bible college. And just as many nonvirgins. Sexually active LGB people, too. 

[VooDooChild]

Ya'll, Ken has a SEVERE case of the creep factor!  Like Ray UnComfort level creepy.

[Granwych]

On ‎11‎/‎19‎/‎2016 at 4:28 AM, alba said:

I went to St Andrews, where it was a running joke that we had the highest proportion of graduates marrying than any other uni (AND I was there the year the Cambridges married, which as you can imagine was a HUGE deal). Mr Alba and I met as students, and, five years out, at least half of my friends from there are in relationships with/married to each other. The myth is real

But I didn't know anyone getting their MRS degree, because it's hard work to get (and stay!) into that uni. Sure, some women were probably planning to find a husband, particularly among a certain class of society that was rather common in my English lit classes, but they were also clever and hard-working enough that they were preparing for a career as well.

Why am I surprised that Lori has once again written a post without thinking it through?

When does Lori ever think about anything?

[dairyfreelife]

Quote

Lori Alexander:

Questions upon points wherein Scripture is silent; upon mysteries which belong to God alone; upon prophecies of doubtful interpretation; and upon mere modes of observing human ceremonials, are all foolish, and wise men avoid them. Our business is neither to ask nor answer foolish questions, but to avoid them altogether; and if we observe the apostle’s precept (Titus 3:8) to be careful to maintain good works, we shall find ourselves far too much occupied with profitable business to take much interest in unworthy, contentious, and needless strivings.

Oh the irony is strong with this one. 

[Koala]

Today's post is a pathetic plea for younger women to shut down their blogs and quit stealing all of Lori's Interwebz traffic.  

She takes the opportunity to plug her book, and reveal that she spent the earth to write it:

Quote

 I just finished writing a book. This book took hours, days, and many months to finish, plus a lot of money. 

Wonder how much Ken lost on that deal?  

She also assures her potential customers that it is not a replica of her blog, and only those who "despise the Lord and His ways" could be offended by it:

Quote

I have given this book to women who are not Christians and even they like it. It is not offensive in any way except to those who despise the Lord and His ways. 

Even non-Christians love it!  Only people who hate God could disagree with Lori (who clearly speaks on his behalf).  Why her very thoughts are "the word of God".

https://thetransformedwife.com/should-young-women-teach-titus-24-5/

[polecat]

8 minutes ago, Koala said:

Today's post is a pathetic plea for younger women to shut down their blogs and quit stealing all of Lori's Interwebz traffic.  

snipped

https://thetransformedwife.com/should-young-women-teach-titus-24-5/

 

 

So if we can find a lady blogger who is older than Lori, does that mean Lori will stfu already? 

I need to make a phone call to my grandma. Bonus: My grandma has not one but two happy, long-lived marriages under her belt unlike a certain someone who spent more than 20 years at her husband's throat. 

[Koala]

Oh yeah, that book she spent so much to write?  It has 7 verified purchases (3 of which are 1 star), so writing that was a great investment.  Not like you can get your message out to the world for free.  I don't know...maybe from something like a blog??

[louisa05]

On 11/18/2016 at 2:01 PM, Loveday said:

I have never met a parent who sent their daughter to college to meet a husband. Again, the question arises: where does Lori find all these people who so conveniently fit as examples in her anti-woman arguments? 

Of course, I met my husband at a bar, so... 

You have never taught in Christian school. 

That mindset was pretty common at the one I taught at. A lot of senior girls would not really plan for a major because they assumed they would drop out after a year or two once they were engaged or married. The kids from families that valued actual education referred to the most popular Christian college for graduating seniors as "marriage u" and wouldn't even consider it. 

[molecule]

17 minutes ago, Koala said:

Wonder how much Ken lost on that deal?  

Well, we know it was self-published, right? The lowest amount I've seen for a self-publishing package that is bare bones (no editor and no e-book versions) is $1000. Lori has said that she has an editor. If she utilized editorial services through the publishing company, it would be a minimum of $500. If she hired an editor separately from the publishing company, it would be more. Given the fact that the writing in the book seems to be as bad as in the blog, I think she likely used the publisher option. Most bare-bones self-publishing packages come with only a handful of books. The fact that Lori has at least a box of them suggests that she has a better package.

I would guess that the whole thing cost $1500-$2000 minimum--but probably more than that.

I did editing work with a first-time author who did a direct-to-Kindle book, with her doing all her own formatting and uploading. At one point she worked with another editor with more experience than I had. Between the two editors, she paid $3000. 

5 minutes later...

Aw, man. This totally sucks. I've been working on my own book and have apparently developed so much sympathy for authors that adding up these numbers just made me go buy Lori's book. Rats. 

[Granwych]

2 minutes ago, molecule said:

Aw, man. This totally sucks. I've been working on my own book and have apparently developed so much sympathy for authors that adding up these numbers just made me go buy Lori's book. Rats. 

Aww, relax, nobody says you have to actually read Lori's book, just leave a "verified purchase" comment.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

First of all, since Lori speaks for God I think she should more clearly define "older" woman.  What age does one become an older woman  --  48? 50? 52? 57?  Inquiring minds want to know.

Secondly is Debi Pearl really all that much older than Lori that Lori turned to her as a godly older woman "years" ago? (Personally I think the Pearls were the validation Lori was seeking for her abusive child rearing.  But then what do I know as I'm not godly by Lori's definition.)

And 3rd -- if it really did cost LoriKen a bundle to produce that book, I'm just petty enough to hope they're in the hole and cannot recoup the costs.  Maybe then Ken will exercise his Command Man Headship and stop her from writing another one.  The blog and now the "You Tubes" are bad enough. It's awful that TTUAC is out there and people are given it as a parenting manual, I don't want Lori's drivel added to the mix.

[alba]

Well, we know it was self-published, right? The lowest amount I've seen for a self-publishing package that is bare bones (no editor and no e-book versions) is $1000. Lori has said that she has an editor. If she utilized editorial services through the publishing company, it would be a minimum of $500. If she hired an editor separately from the publishing company, it would be more. Given the fact that the writing in the book seems to be as bad as in the blog, I think she likely used the publisher option. Most bare-bones self-publishing packages come with only a handful of books. The fact that Lori has at least a box of them suggests that she has a better package.
I would guess that the whole thing cost $1500-$2000 minimum--but probably more than that.
I did editing work with a first-time author who did a direct-to-Kindle book, with her doing all her own formatting and uploading. At one point she worked with another editor with more experience than I had. Between the two editors, she paid $3000. 
5 minutes later...
Aw, man. This totally sucks. I've been working on my own book and have apparently developed so much sympathy for authors that adding up these numbers just made me go buy Lori's book. Rats. 

Not necessarily. That assumes she actually bought a package through a company. She could have used a print-on-demand service like CreateSpace for her paperbacks and hired a freelance editor who, from the sounds of things, isn't commanding high rates.