Counting On Season Two- Part 4

[CharlieInCharge]

On October 12, 2016 at 8:33 PM, VixenToast said:

I tick off Miss on the boxes. I'm not married and Miss Margaret has a lovely Victorian flavor when seen in print.

snip

Sorry to go back a page, but I lol'd so hard at this I had to share.

I knew a Dominatrix in the Bay Area named Miss Margaret and woe betide you if you called her anything else. She lived in a wonderful old Victorian house and hosted ladies tea parties served by naked submisives in bow-ties. Lovely lady indeed

[Carm_88]

Ooooh the previous poster who said about the foster child/guardianship could be correct. they could be announcing that he was formally adopted. 20 Duggars...

[Kittikatz]

I've been getting ma'am'ed since I was 16, so I don't really think it's age related. Often the ma'aming is done by people older than me. In Canada, where ma'am/sir aren't really common words in the lexicon, this is just weird AF.

Friends tell me it's the combination of RBF plus some sort of slight menace I seem to manage to exude when I'm not completely at peace with the world. I don't know, but it's pisses me off, so ma'am just amps the menace vibe up even more.... In an effort to avoid this ugly cycle, I've actually trained myself to walk around with a vaguely pleasant smile - it works to avoid the ma'aming, but it does mean that people (usually men) imagine I'm friendly and try to talk to me. Now I'm practising not making casual eye contact by focusing eyes on the middle distance... I want a little light floating over my head that I can change around to indicate mood and willingness to chat. It would save so much trouble if such a thing were available.

[BoPeep]

In the south, everyone is called sir/ma'am....it's proper politeness.  And if you didnt use your proper politeness growing up, you would be in trouble!  Deep, serious doo-doo!  Mommas don't allow impoliteness.  (And yes, I correct my kids for not using proper politeness....ds said, "yeah" to an older woman yesterday, and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, my neck spun around, and flames shot out of my eyes!  Old boy got called out immediately, and he then answered with the correct, "Yes ma'am."  Whew, crisis averted.)

I will say, though, that when I taught and was called ma'am at age 25, whew, that was a hard pill to swallow!  It was ok from my kindergarteners....but those 17 yr olds.....they made me feel OLD.  I got over it.  Lol.  

[Thorns]

Just found Counting On on YouTube. Listened/watched while crunching numbers and plotting in Excel, so didn't really pay attention, don't think I missed much though.

Random thoughts and speculation:

- JD freaks me out. Maybe because I just watched that thrash the car-scene from Erins wedding, but he strikes me as having a mean streak. 

- If any of my 20-something college educated soccer playing male contemporaries (male models) had acted like Jeremy does I would label him as either two faced or lacking between the ears. Seriously?  And, I can't help being nervous about a jock (and we all know what locker Talk pertains!) marrying a very sheltered girl (and for me, Jinger is a girl. She might be a woman in years, but not in any other way). I hope he is considerate.

- I truly belive Jessa will turn bitter, and that she already regrets a lot of her choices. I could so see her comparing Ben to Jeremy, and thinking about what she could have had. A man, someone others would admire, that she could feel great about being the arm candy of. Now she has Dim Bin.

-Flame. Rapping? Wtf? That was bad. And how much do they pay him to be part of the show? That seemed like a pity - "friendship" for me.

- Beige. WHY is everything so beige, dull and dark? Is it just an reflection of their lives?

That was a snoooze fest

[MargaretElliott]

1 hour ago, Thorns said:

- JD freaks me out. Maybe because I just watched that thrash the car-scene from Erins wedding, but he strikes me as having a mean streak. 

I'm not sure about JD, but I'm fairly sure this is true of JimBoob. Didn't Michelle say in an early episode/book that he had a tember, and they prayed about it quite a bit? Maybe that it was a trait both he and his father shared? I'm not sure, but it's certainly rustling the cobwebs in the back of my brain...

[nst]

2 hours ago, Thorns said:

 

- I truly belive Jessa will turn bitter, and that she already regrets a lot of her choices. I could so see her comparing Ben to Jeremy, and thinking about what she could have had. A man, someone others would admire, that she could feel great about being the arm candy of. Now she has Dim Bin.

 

you must tell me why you think Jereemy is so much greater than Ben - underneath he is a douchbage who covers it up better than Ben

If anything Jinge will be the sorry one - she can't tell him off the way Jessa already can tell Ben off with nuances and words and looks. 

No one admires Jeremy aka the doucheking 

 

[defraudedbychipendales]

I'm wondering if all of the adoption talk from Jessa was them thinking they would take in the "less fortunate" child.

[MargaretElliott]

3 hours ago, nst said:

you must tell me why you think Jereemy is so much greater than Ben - underneath he is a douchbage who covers it up better than Ben

If anything Jinge will be the sorry one - she can't tell him off the way Jessa already can tell Ben off with nuances and words and looks. 

No one admires Jeremy aka the doucheking 

 

I think they're just as awful as each other, personally, but Jeremy is older, seems better-spoken, and less gratuitously stupid than Bin. He's been a professional athlete, he doesn't scrub toilets for her dad... come to think of it, Jessa might be bitter no matter what, because anyone is better than Ben.

I mean, I'd prefer cats to either of them, but I can kinda see where that logic comes from.

[nst]

Just now, MargaretElliott said:

I think they're just as awful as each other, personally, but Jeremy is older, seems better-spoken, and less gratuitously stupid than Bin. He's been a professional athlete, he doesn't scrub toilets for her dad... come to think of it, Jessa might be bitter no matter what, because anyone is better than Ben.

I mean, I'd prefer cats to either of them, but I can kinda see where that logic comes from.

being stupid and naive about the world is different than being intentionally a wolf in somewhat sheep's clothing and a complete douchebag

this has nothing to do with Jessa being bitter... who cares if she married the wrong man - 

they are both screwed in their cult jinge to me is just worse off 

[MargaretElliott]

Just now, nst said:

being stupid and naive about the world is different than being intentionally a wolf in somewhat sheep's clothing and a complete douchebag

this has nothing to do with Jessa being bitter... who cares if she married the wrong man - 

they are both screwed in their cult jinge to me is just worse off 

I don't know Jeremy personally, so I don't know if he's the a wolf in sheep's clothing- but, knowing the nature of their cult and misogynistic beliefs, I agree and think it's very likely. I certainly don't envy either of them- choosing between Ben and Jeremy is kind of like choosing between a root canal and a colonoscopy. And while some people have hope that Jeremy will get Jinger "out" of the cult, I think they're all pretty well steeped in kool-aid. 

[PartriarchydefyinValkarie]

Has anyone watched the newest TLC clip on YT: The Clumsiest Duggar? 

Joy: I'm startin to learn to like Shopping.. because well, I have to.

That kinda just hurt me inside. Poor Joy, not all girls adore shopping and that's fine. I'm pretty sure even some of the Bates daughters don't enjoy it. 

And Jilly really is Vanilly according to all her siblings lmao.

[eveandadam]

20 hours ago, Thorns said:

- I truly belive Jessa will turn bitter, and that she already regrets a lot of her choices. I could so see her comparing Ben to Jeremy, and thinking about what she could have had. A man, someone others would admire, that she could feel great about being the arm candy of. Now she has Dim Bin.

 

Let's hope not! Because, from the way it looks in the show there is a huge power-imbalance between Jeremy and Jinger, not only because of age and experience with the outside world but clearly in temperament. Jinger seems so shy and mild, if I were here I would be scared to the bones of Jeremy, who probably has had girlfriends and maybe even sex before!

I asked myself the question: Who would I pick: Derick, Ben or Jeremy. I would pick Ben, given the relationship constellations as they are now in the three couples, because he is more on the same experience level as the woman he married and the relationship is a more equal one, which is a good thing. They can experience their firsts together and grow together starting on the same level.

And, of course he comes across as more clumsy and "dumb" than Derick or Jeremy because he is so much younger than those two. Who, at 20 years old, wouldn't look stupid compared to a 28 year old?

The comparison is unfair in my book. And: I'm really worried for Jinger, honestly!

[Alachantal]

On 12/10/2016 at 3:42 PM, Adrienne83 said:

To me Miss is what you would call a young girl. So basically, if you are calling me miss you are calling me a little girl.

Everyone is different.

I have to fully agree with you here. Miss is for little girls not women. Right now I'm Ms, but in April I'll be Mrs, and if anyone calls me Miss I'll throw a fit . (Although truthfully, I would rather Miss over sweetie or honey or "girl" or any of those other terms that I'm usually fine with my fiance calling me, but when my operations manager or fellow drivers do it I want to cut them. Just the way it is I suppose.)

On 12/10/2016 at 10:18 PM, Rio said:

This is really common with Southerners or people associated with the military. My sons (Washington state!) say "Yes, Ma'am" to me sometimes and I am usually amazed but pleased, it seems like a really nice answer when you tell a teenager to do something... one son has a friend whose mom is a lot younger than I am and she says it to me too ( she is in the military) and that feels weird. Agree about "Miss Margaret", and putting the title with the first name is very Southern too...

That explains a lot... thanks FJ, @MargaretElliott & @Rio lol. I have customers I go to who are from the south always call me ma'am (I'm 25, it feels a little weird) or Miss Ala (because my first name is hard to pronounce I let them use the nickname). Never actually clicked as to why until I read your post. 

I always thought ma'am was bad... when I moved to Canada as a kid I got into trouble for calling my teachers at school ma'am and honestly to this day I still don't understand why.

[Carm_88]

@Alachantal We don't really use Ma'am. It sounds odd now that you mention it. We always called our teachers "Miss" "Mrs" or "Sir." If you were educated by Nuns "Sister." I don't know why you would gotten in trouble but it's generally not used that much. 

[Cleopatra7]

15 hours ago, MargaretElliott said:

I don't know Jeremy personally, so I don't know if he's the a wolf in sheep's clothing- but, knowing the nature of their cult and misogynistic beliefs, I agree and think it's very likely. I certainly don't envy either of them- choosing between Ben and Jeremy is kind of like choosing between a root canal and a colonoscopy. And while some people have hope that Jeremy will get Jinger "out" of the cult, I think they're all pretty well steeped in kool-aid. 

I think there is a difference between Jeremy "getting Jinger out of the cult" (i.e., Gothardism) and getting her out of the fundie lifestyle in general. JB and Michelle might not care about their kids not being 100 percent on board with Gothardism, so long as they are generically fundie. Ben's family, for example, followed VF not Gothardism, but VF was an "approved ministry" from the Duggar perspective, even if the theologies espoused by both groups don't really jive together.  Prospective Duggar spouses need to be "Gothard curious" even if they aren't true believers/all in like JB and Michelle. Being some flavor of fundie Southern Baptist is what the Duggars consider Christianity, and those are the kind of people they want their children to marry. Therefore, even if Jeremy doesn't join ATI (which would be a waste at this point, since I doubt the group will be around by the end of the decade), he and Jinger will still be firmly fundie, even if it's not Gothard-type fundie.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

22 hours ago, Carm_88 said:

Ooooh the previous poster who said about the foster child/guardianship could be correct. they could be announcing that he was formally adopted. 20 Duggars...

They stated earlier that he would not be on the television show. I hope they stick to that. He is an extended family member.

[Alachantal]

35 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

@Alachantal We don't really use Ma'am. It sounds odd now that you mention it. We always called our teachers "Miss" "Mrs" or "Sir." If you were educated by Nuns "Sister." I don't know why you would gotten in trouble but it's generally not used that much. 

It does sound odd now that you mention it, because thinking about it I don't hear it very often. Maybe it was just the way my mum raised us to be respectful to older adults and the transition from Ukraine to Canada, I always thought it was the correct way as a kid when I came here and was really surprised to find out it wasn't.  I had to train myself out of calling my teachers that. (Maybe they just felt old when I called them ma'am lol) My fiance is from Eastern Europe as well so I call this parents/grandparents first name and patronymic to be polite/respectful. It would be disrespectful to do otherwise. He told me he had the same issue when he moved here (aside from not having any English), training himself out of "yes ma'am" and "no sir" to answer teachers (that and we don't have to stand up to answer the teachers here! That was weird too)

I still always call older adults sir or ma'am until I know them better however, even previous boyfriends parents. Maybe I would fit in better in the States, I'm always South of the border for work and it seems standard there.

[nastyhobbitses]

I'm from the North, so I never did the yes sir/yes ma'am thing except in Taekwondo class, where the Korean honorific system was simplified down to calling instructors sir and ma'am, but around 17 or 18, I had to go through that awkward phase when you start to realize that you're at an age where it's OK to address adults older than you by their first names, but Mr./Ms./Mrs. is just so ingrained that it's hard to let go. There were a few adults in my life whose first names I didn't even know.

I do use sir and ma'am when addressing adult strangers -- e.g. "Sir, you dropped this" or "Excuse me, Ma'am, your backpack is unzipped", and I will use "Ms. Lastname" or "Mr. Lastname" or "Title (like Dr., Professor, etc.) Lastname" when speaking to someone obviously older/higher up in a workplace situation for the first time until it's confirmed to me that first name basis is OK.

I got called ma'am by my students at Taekwondo class after I became an instructor, and I occasionally get ma'amed by clerks and such, but that didn't make me feel very old. I DID feel super old when I visited a friend in Beijing, and his five-year-old son called me "Ayi", which means Auntie and is generally used for women who are obviously older than you. Which, OK, I was 19 years older than him and it was super cute, but going from "Xiao Mychineselastname" (Little Mychineselastname) among my friends up to Auntie was a bit disconcerting.

[Carm_88]

I've been ma'am a few times in the grocery stores by the teenaged cashiers who don't really know what to call me. I was just trying to think what we use for older people because middle aged is always Mr. and Mrs. So and So or Ms. So and so until you get on the name basis. We tend to use Skipper for elderly men that we don't know that well and Mrs. First Name for women. 

[IReallyAmHopewell]

Maybe the end of the season will be a joint announcement of super-secret courtships for John and Jana??

[Buzzard]

3 minutes ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

Maybe the end of the season will be a joint announcement of super-secret courtships for John and Jana??

I think Boob is holding that card in his back pocket for renewal discussions.

[PartriarchydefyinValkarie]

2 hours ago, Buzzard said:

I think Boob is holding that card in his back pocket for renewal discussions.

I personally want to see The Duggars do Disney or Universal Studios. Heck, just have Bin, Jessa, Spurge, Jill, Derek, Izzy, and JerJin go and be akward. I would love to see them react to a Disney Parade or Dreamworks dance party. 

  They could do Disney World and Jill could compare the South American food to what she has had. Ooh and they could pass out gospel tracks to Peter Pan. Lmao.

 Is anyone kind of shocked that even when the TV show with a hit they didn't send them to the Holy Land Experience in Florida?

[IReallyAmHopewell]

2 hours ago, Buzzard said:

I think Boob is holding that card in his back pocket for renewal discussions.

That would not surprise me. Even a mass Monnie style wedding of Jana, John, Joe, Joy, 'Siah, Jed and Jer wouldn't surprise me!

Probably not a Bates due to different networks. Maybe one of Anna's younger brothers for Joy or one of Clark Wilson's sons for Jana? Who knows for the boys, but I have a sneaking suspicion it will be Marjorie for 'Siah and they'll brag about all the WISDOM they listened to in pulling out of a courtship they weren't ready for....right.

[Gillyweed]

20 minutes ago, PartriarchydefyinValkarie said:

I personally want to see The Duggars do Disney or Universal Studios. Heck, just have Bin, Jessa, Spurge, Jill, Derek, Izzy, and JerJin go and be akward. I would love to see them react to a Disney Parade or Dreamworks dance party. 

  They could do Disney World and Jill could compare the South American food to what she has had. Ooh and they could pass out gospel tracks to Peter Pan. Lmao.

 Is anyone kind of shocked that even when the TV show with a hit they didn't send them to the Holy Land Experience in Florida?

I wonder if Jeremy's been there before. Have the Duggars ever gone to an amusement park? I can't imagine any of them enjoying rollercoasters. Maybe JinJer will go there for a honeymoon! Doubt it though, they wouldn't dare look at the princesses who show their shoulders.