Jill Duggar Dillard Part 8: They Call Him Choo Choo?

[Chickenbutt]

Not to worry.....it's all worth it.

[SportsgalAnnie]

don't be put off! It's just one day.  Epidurals and c sections were invented for a reason

 Oh I plan on being drugged out 

[HarryPotterFan]

don't be put off! It's just one day.  Epidurals and c sections were invented for a reason.  

unless you're in labor for 70 hours...

[notfundy]

After reading this I am terrified of having kids 

Aw... don't be.   Like I said - no one would do it more than once if it was that horrendous.      

And (a) it is so worth it, (b) you do sort of forget about the pain, etc. as soon as you look at that baby and (c) not all labors/deliveries are scary/horrible. The vast majjority of them are NOT.   It's just that on the Internet (and IRL) you don't tend to hear about the "normal"  labors/deliveries where everything goes more or less smoothly.

And a well-trained midwife and/or doctor will not want you to suffer!  There are options!    

P.S.  Once you get past the pregnancy & childbirth, you should perhaps be (more) terrified about having a two year old  and then again when he/she is a teenager!  

[SportsgalAnnie]

Aw... don't be.   Like I said - no one would do it more than once if it was that horrendous.      

And (a) it is so worth it, (b) you do sort of forget about the pain, etc. as soon as you look at that baby and (c) not all labors/deliveries are scary/horrible. The vast majjority of them are NOT.   It's just that on the Internet (and IRL) you don't tend to hear about the "normal"  labors/deliveries where everything goes more or less smoothly.

And a well-trained midwife and/or doctor will not want you to suffer!  There are options!    

P.S.  Once you get past the pregnancy & childbirth, you should perhaps be (more) terrified about having a two year old  and then again when he/she is a teenager!  

Thanks

I love toddlers but teens scare me 

[Percy]

Don't be afraid.  My girls are nearly 18 and 19 and they are great girls.  They help around the house ( my reason being we all live here and contribute to the mess, we all help clean), and are reliable.  They have strong work ethics and never call in sick.  They have not given us any trouble .

  I had forceps with the first and too quick with shock with the second.  Both were colicky but we survived that. The girls are worth all of it and are fabulous young women.  That could be all ahead of you

[lilith]

With one of my c-sections, my third IIRC, I could feel the OB draw the scalpel across my lower abdomen. It wasn't painful -just like the touch of a finger. I do recall being a bit freaked out when I read how you might feel some tugging in a c-section, but then I thought you'd feel something in a vaginal birth, too.

When I had my last caesarean (14 weeks ago) I also had my tubes tied. I felt the caesarean incision etc but not the pain, as is usual. But when they started the tubal ligation I was suddenly in agony - the epidural didn't go up high enough and I could feel it all. They knocked me straight out (and according to Partner the obstetrician performing the surgery had some harsh words for the anaesthesiologist) but oh my god, even the memory of that pain makes me shudder and wince.

I also still have some pain and tenderness in that area, even though the caesarean incisions are totally healed and painless.

[Mylnijya]

I've mentioned this somewhere on here before but I had my 3 at home and had very good experiences. First was a water birth. 10 hours total. I felt kind of amorous during that birth. Second was super speedy less than 2 hours and daddy had to catch him while I was standing braced against the dresser. Third was nice and easy only hard for about 15 minutes before pushing. I've always been a healthy person, and I figured this was work my body was capable of doing. I don't grow big babies- just 6-7lbs. I recommend the book Birth Skills by Juju Sundin. Amazing laboring advice. I also enjoyed reading the website unassistedchildbirth for confidence-boosting. I also want to mention that if you read the news-stories where women come to the ER not even knowing they're pregnant, they always seem to have the best deliveries. They have no fear. They don't even know what is going on with their body so they don't end up at the hospital until they think their appendix has burst or something terrible might be happening and then lo and behold an hour later they are pushing a baby out. In some ways their ignorance seems to serve them well. 

[Furbabies]

My SO was a big baby and his mom is small, so they used forceps during his birth.  He has a TBI from it.  Not badly, but enough to put him in the gray area of being disabled, but not enough so that he can get disability.  He has balance and fine motor skill issues as well as being slightly on the autism spectrum, which makes him a slow worker.  He's smart and the most loving man I've ever known, however.

Not trying to imply that forceps are usually harmful, but requires skilled HCPs.

[foreign fundie]

I've mentioned this somewhere on here before but I had my 3 at home and had very good experiences. First was a water birth. 10 hours total. I felt kind of amorous during that birth. Second was super speedy less than 2 hours and daddy had to catch him while I was standing braced against the dresser. Third was nice and easy only hard for about 15 minutes before pushing. I've always been a healthy person, and I figured this was work my body was capable of doing. I don't grow big babies- just 6-7lbs. I recommend the book Birth Skills by Juju Sundin. Amazing laboring advice. I also enjoyed reading the website unassistedchildbirth for confidence-boosting. I also want to mention that if you read the news-stories where women come to the ER not even knowing they're pregnant, they always seem to have the best deliveries. They have no fear. They don't even know what is going on with their body so they don't end up at the hospital until they think their appendix has burst or something terrible might be happening and then lo and behold an hour later they are pushing a baby out. In some ways their ignorance seems to serve them well. 

I just take it that the above is no advocacy for ignorance and unassisted births. It does sound like that a bit though.... And as for your smooth, fast homebirths, has it ever occured to you that as well as being in good shape, you could be extremely lucky?

[MatthewDuggar]

My siblings and I called our parents "Mommy and Daddy" until school-age and then switched to "Mom and Dad".  My mother and her siblings always called her parents by their first names, I assumed it was an "adult" thing when I heard it as a child.

Fast forward and my sister had two boys.  They have always called their parents by first names, even as toddlers.  I asked my sister, "why are they doing that?"  She says "Well, those are our names".  Other than that, they are pretty all-american normal.  They are teenagers now and I still find it strange when I hear them not calling them "Mom or Dad".  They call me Uncle Matt, no problem.  Strange.

[caszandra]

I had a C-section with both my kid's, both had intrauterine growth restriction, my first was also breech from 16wks and never turned once, the doctors were unable to turn him due to insufficient amniotic fluid, I had an elective section as I wasn't allowed to labour with him.  My son is 21 next month and although only 4lbs and 15 1/2ozs has grown into a strapping 6ft wonderful young man who is just about to join the Army.  After his birth when I would go to baby and toddler group's the look's of pity and the fake sympathy about what a shame it was to have a section floored me for a while by how cruel people could be, even knowing that I had no choice was not enough to make the "my birth was wonderful" brigade back off on trying to make me feel bad about my birth.  I did suffer with ppd but it was nothing to do with how the birth had went.  I think in a way I was lucky because I knew from early on in my pregnancy that I was going to get the section so I had plenty of time to accept it.

Fast forward to when I had my second 7yrs ago who was going to be a VBAC but ended up in a emergency section (only called that as it wasn't planned) as I stalled in labour at 3cm's and due to previous section they don't give Pitocin where I am in case of rupture of the womb from the old scar site, my daughter was 5lbs 13ozs and although still petite for her age is a bright, funny, happy wee girl who is a joy to our family.  I didn't seem to get as much of a negative reaction when I told people about her birth, don't know if that was because it was an "emergency" section rather than an elective one as there is a sub set of people who see having an elective as being too posh to push.

I am not in anyway ashamed about my birth's even though some people would like to make me feel that way about myself, if you have an un medicated birth then great I am honest to goodness very happy for you but some people need to realise that not everyone can have that and there is nothing wrong with whatever way your baby came into the world.  I am in no way saying that people who have had a bad birth experience shouldn't feel bad or grieve over what happened, I just think there should be more understanding from all side's that birth can be wonderful for many women but that it can also be horrendous for many women and of course you have a wide selection who fall in between. 

 

[ClaraOswin]

Aw... don't be.   Like I said - no one would do it more than once if it was that horrendous.      

And (a) it is so worth it, (b) you do sort of forget about the pain, etc. as soon as you look at that baby and (c) not all labors/deliveries are scary/horrible. The vast majjority of them are NOT.   It's just that on the Internet (and IRL) you don't tend to hear about the "normal"  labors/deliveries where everything goes more or less smoothly.

And a well-trained midwife and/or doctor will not want you to suffer!  There are options!    

P.S.  Once you get past the pregnancy & childbirth, you should perhaps be (more) terrified about having a two year old  and then again when he/she is a teenager!  

I feel like I am such an odd-ball. Haha! I still remember the pain vividly 2 years later...unfortunately. Not to say I wouldn't do it again. But I do remember it.

And having a 2 year old is a breeze compared to those first 6 months. I am so not a newborn person.

[bingbangboom]

 

 

 

 

When I had my last caesarean (14 weeks ago) I also had my tubes tied. I felt the caesarean incision etc but not the pain, as is usual. But when they started the tubal ligation I was suddenly in agony - the epidural didn't go up high enough and I could feel it all. They knocked me straight out (and according to Partner the obstetrician performing the surgery had some harsh words for the anaesthesiologist) but oh my god, even the memory of that pain makes me shudder and wince.

 

I also still have some pain and tenderness in that area, even though the caesarean incisions are totally healed and painless.

 

 

same thing happened with me! Except they didn't put me out, just told me to "stop screaming,"

They were pretty pissed off with me for feeling pain...post op was even worse. Nobody seemed to believe I could feel that much pain, and I definitely did.

My forceps experience was scary. My body was in distress, and baby was not doing well at all. One swift yank and baby was out, he suffered a sort of serious complication and spent time in NICU.

Birth was certainly not magical for me.

[AmazonGrace]

. I also want to mention that if you read the news-stories where women come to the ER not even knowing they're pregnant, they always seem to have the best deliveries. They have no fear. They don't even know what is going on with their body so they don't end up at the hospital until they think their appendix has burst or something terrible might be happening and then lo and behold an hour later they are pushing a baby out. In some ways their ignorance seems to serve them well. 

That's completely anecdotal information and not very reliable because the newspapers are only likely to be granted interviews by those mothers who are surprised but happy. Those who are in pieces because it was such a horrible experience may not feel like beaming up for the photographer.  In any case, it's not their actual birth records, it's just what they choose to share with the world. Let's say someone gets horridly torn and loses sphincter tonus for a while after the birth of their surprise baby, or went to the hospital hungover and feeling horrible - that might not be something they want the world to know.

[SassyPants]

SO.....

Are the Dillards living off donations?

Donated housing, food, language classes, medical care, transportation?

Not to mention nail polish-Jill's nails are always painted.

[EmmieJ]

After reading this I am terrified of having kids 

Have you heard that women forget the pain when it is over?  It was true in my case.  I remember the experience, I remember that it hurt, but I cannot recall the actual pain.  Does that make sense?  This is one of the reasons I think many women happily choose to go through childbirth multiple times == not to mention, the baby at the end of the whole thing   

Upthread I said that after I had my one and only, I stated "I'm never doing that again."  That is true.  But there were other factors in play.  I was 35 when I had my son.  I was a single mom, with my income being the sole source of financial support for me and my son.  Not to mention, I really had no time or energy for dating, building a relationship with a man, much less contemplate having another child.  I was too busy working 2 and 3 jobs to provide for my small family.  

One of the many things about the Duggars that bother me is what I perceive as their almost cavalier attitude about child birth.  I feel they treat it as "no big deal".  Just because it is a natural part of life, and women have been giving birth for centuries, does not mean there isn't always the possibility for things to go wrong.  Giving birth is, in and of itself, inherently potentially life-threatening.  There is nothing wrong with having a home birth, but there is no excuse for not being attended by someone with real training and knowledge, who can quickly recognize if things start to go sideways and take the steps necessary to make sure mother and child quickly get the medical intervention needed. 

BTW, if I had it to do all over again, I would take that opportunity in a heartbeat   

[MatthewDuggar]

SO.....

Are the Dillards living off donations?

Donated housing, food, language classes, medical care, transportation?

Not to mention nail polish-Jill's nails are always painted.

Apparently...

I thought Derrick did her nails... at least her toenails.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

unless you're in labor for 70 hours...

Only idiots would do this, like Jill. Any rational sane person with a REAL midwife would have been at the hospital 12 hours after the water broke with no real progress in labor. 

[SassyPants]

Only idiots would do this, like Jill. Any rational sane person with a REAL midwife would have been at the hospital 12 hours after the water broke with no real progress in labor. 

Especially with Meconium stained fluid.

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

Especially with Meconium stained fluid.

WHAT? I hadn't heard that! She is literally too stupid to breed. 

[nellautumngirl]

Obviously it is not an actual death such as the loss of life from a previously breathing, moving or thinking individual but it can be a grief felt very deeply in a similiar way for that particular woman. How you feel about it is no less legitimate than that mom who feels "too deeply" about something you think shouldnt even be a factor because she or her baby did not die. There is always something worse that could have happened in every outcome. Everything has that arguement. Does that mean that the spectrum between 100 percent everything went perfectly and you or your baby dies has to be ignored? Because every above death is a positive outcome. I am not arguing that in the end, yes the greater aspect of the birth experience is if the mother and child came out of it physically unscathed. But emotions and thinking are a complex system that are not going to be 100 percent rational at all times. I am saying it is okay for women to feel what they need to feel, grieve whatever it is they feel that they lost in the process, seek therapy or talk it out in a respectful atomosphere and essentially move on as a healthier individual because they dealth with it in a constructive way. Your attitude is what makes moms keep quite about something that is very real to them because you feel it is ridiculous that anyone feels that way since you have not personally experienced it. You cannot control how you feel all the time, it is a reaction to your environment, circumstances, experiences etc. We would all like to think that we could accept our healthy child and ignore the experience of how they got there. But in reality that is not going to happen. 

I don't have children, but I have lost people I love and I think it's insensitive to talk of death in relation to birth like you did. Life is a gift and a privilege that can be over in the blink of an eye over stupid, little things for everyone of us. We are incredibly lucky and privileged to have the opportunity to explore feelings we have because a baby was born in a hospital instead of at home.

[Dandruff]

If Jill and Derick stay in Central America for a few years, they might be able to learn some Spanish from Choo Choo.

[Marissap]

I feel like I am such an odd-ball. Haha! I still remember the pain vividly 2 years later...unfortunately. Not to say I wouldn't do it again. But I do remember it.

And having a 2 year old is a breeze compared to those first 6 months. I am so not a newborn person.

I'm not either. The first 4 months for me were blah. I loved them once they could sleep a bit and had such cute personalities (and obviously I loved mine the whole time but I didn't enjoy the beginning nearly as much as some people do). But now my youngest is three (call it threenager for a reason) and she is giving me a run for my money!

SO.....

Are the Dillards living off donations?

Donated housing, food, language classes, medical care, transportation?

Not to mention nail polish-Jill's nails are always painted.

maybe Jill lets the locals paint her nails for free. After all, they are probably lining up just to get a close look at her,.....

[WhyNotJulie]

Do we know what kind of dental surgery Derick had? Like what was the reason for completely changing the shape of his face?