Nathan and Ashley Salyer - Courtship

[DaisyD]

Do you mind my asking where in New Mexico? I was born in Española. There don't seem to be many New Mexicans here.

[BirthingGodsWarriors]

2 minutes ago, daisyd681 said:

Do you mind my asking where in New Mexico? I was born in Española. There don't seem to be many New Mexicans here.

I lived in ABQ for a few years myself  boy do I miss those green chilies and sunsets. 

[QuiverDance]

My wedding was so awesome.  It was at a plantation on River Road outside of New Orleans, and the food was soooo goood.  And abundant.  And the bar kicked major ass.  I wish I could do that over again with a different groom.  He sucked.

[twinmama]

On 4/25/2016 at 4:59 PM, Justme said:

I look a it this way, if your neighbor is stopping by for a visit, a cup of coffee/tea plus a few cookies is hospitable. If Aunt Sally is flying in from 1000 miles away, incurring the cost of hotel, meals, and other travel expenses, hospitality decrees a bit hardier fare.

This is such a good point. We had an open bar, sit down dinner, cake, appetizers, and bbq the next day for our wedding guests and they still probably spent more money on flights and hotels than we did. Except our few friends who were local. They made out like bandits  

On 4/27/2016 at 2:46 PM, bashfulpixie said:

I'm Scotch-Irish and once made a joke about my wedding someday being dry.  I've never seen my family look so horrified. Lol!

IMO, if you have a dry wedding, you just have to expect half the people to leave pretty early. I'm not going to dance at a wedding totally sober, lol. That said, I've never been to a dry wedding! I went to one that had a cash bar, that ticked me off. The rest have been gloriously open bar.

It depends on the people getting married too though, I would never expect someone dealing with alcoholism to have a bar at their wedding. And if your social circle does weddings a certain way, it makes sense to do it that way too whatever it is. My social circle drinks at weddings, a lot. I got married at a vineyard  The wine was flowing from the minute we arrived to get dressed.

7 hours ago, Marilla-Cuthbert2013 said:

At my wedding in Annapolis, the wedding coordinator said that she was upgrading our open bar because it was her experience that people don't drink at morning weddings. Even my non-Hispanic family an friends took that as a personal challenge. 

Dude, mimosas!! Drinking at breakfast is totally appropriate if you add orange juice to your booze.

[Granwych]

On ‎4‎/‎27‎/‎2016 at 0:24 PM, OyToTheVey said:

haha I'm Jewish Russian. If a wedding doesn't have enough food and booze to feed all of Siberia for the winter, it wasn't a good wedding. We once went to a wedding that had a 2 course dinner but it took like 3 hours for the main course to come out, it's still talked about as one of the worst weddings we've been too. Don't get me started on bars without putting a bottle on the table. There's no need for a bar just put 2 bottles on each table and we happy lol

One of the most dull weddings Grampwych and I attended was a fundie one about 27 years ago.  From the overly long sermon about sin, to the no-caffeine sodas(forget about alcohol) no dancing, praying over canapés, to the bride who never acknowledged my gift, it was 5 hours we'd never get back.  Oh, and someone stole a decorative pin off my coat, too.

[RosyDaisy]

I had 45 people at my wedding. Since it was a lunchtime reception, I had a sandwich bar reception. There different kinds of breads, meats, cheeses, and veggies. I also had fresh fruit, sweet treats, sodas, water, tea, coffee, grandma's secret citrus wedding punch, and mints. Since my father payed for the reception, there was no alcohol. But there was plenty of music and dancing. I also provided food cartons so guests could take home a meal. Nobody complained.

[AnywhereButHere]

I've been in so many weddings, I've lost count. They've run the gamut from my cousin's New Year's Eve blowout in a 5 star hotel ($300 bridesmaid dress - pretty, but a bit much for a just out of college girl!) to my friend's simple reception in her local K of C hall ($30 dress, much nicer on my budget). All of them had one thing in common. Food. Different styles, menus, extravagance, but all were a full meal and celebrated with friends and family.

The one wedding I can remember being, ummm well, interesting (to put it nicely) was a friend's wedding a few years ago. The cocktail hour was before the ceremony. Great food. Then came the ceremony. Bride and groom had a tiff in the aisle. Got through ceremony and we all went into the dining room and sat down. We waited, and waited, and waited. Bread was brought out. No butter. I embarrassed myself when I asked for it (kosher Jewish wedding - no butter. Oops ). And waited. No meal (or bride and groom for that matter). About midnight they came out, and food was served. Dry and cold, but served! Turned out bride and groom had a knock down drag out fight, groom locked himself in a room and demanded an annulment, but his family persuaded him to try to make it work. Six years later they started divorce proceedings. Their divorce has been in process for four years. I say it will go on longer than their marriage. Whatever else they did wrong, they fought well! 

[nausicaa]

@AnywhereButHere Do you know what the wedding day fight was about???

[AnywhereButHere]

1 hour ago, nausicaa said:

@AnywhereButHere Do you know what the wedding day fight was about???

More than I'd like to! I swear his friends put more effort into their marriage than they did (she wasn't anyone's favorite person, but I promise we were all nice while they were together). It started because he was apparently walking up the aisle at too fast a pace for her, moved on to whose family members were allowed under the chuppah (spelling - hope it's right!), and then throughout the next few years moved on to what they ate, where they'd vacation, where they lived, how loud he spoke. It was a train wreck.

[vienna]

After reading through most Posts, I would like to add one Thing about Ashley: I think the fact that she ist from New York will make it really hard for her in Tenesee. Not only because of all the obvious differences but because the Country Girls will give her a really hard time. The have all been trained to think bad of big Citys and in generals People from the Country think all City People think they are better then them. My english is not good enough to express what I mean but she will be treated differently simply because she is "Not oone of them" because she is from New York.

[sunshine]

3 hours ago, vienna said:

After reading through most Posts, I would like to add one Thing about Ashley: I think the fact that she ist from New York will make it really hard for her in Tenesee. Not only because of all the obvious differences but because the Country Girls will give her a really hard time. The have all been trained to think bad of big Citys and in generals People from the Country think all City People think they are better then them. My english is not good enough to express what I mean but she will be treated differently simply because she is "Not oone of them" because she is from New York.

I see your point. I would like to add that every country or city has at least one loud, spunky person. I am sure that she will fit in and adjust accordingly. I don't think she will wear cowboy boots. HA

[Nashville92]

 Isn't Ashley's birthday tommorrow? I wonder if Nathan will propose

[sunshine]

3 hours ago, Nashville92 said:

 Isn't Ashley's birthday tommorrow? I wonder if Nathan will propose

Please, God! Nooooooo!

[fundiesarefascinating]

16 minutes ago, sunshine said:

Please, God! Nooooooo!

Another blog I follow about the Bates is abuzz with speculation about an engagement because of a picture of Ashely and Nathan where she is doing her best to cover her left hand and in particular ring finger. It does look awkward and suspicious I must say.  And would be in keeping with other courtship lengths which last for about 3 months. 

[sunshine]

5 minutes ago, fundiesarefascinating said:

Another blog I follow about the Bates is abuzz with speculation about an engagement because of a picture of Ashely and Nathan where she is doing her best to cover her left hand and in particular ring finger. It does look awkward and suspicious I must say.  And would be in keeping with other courtship lengths which last for about 3 months. 

I did think that at first she covered her hand for that reason, but it could be restraint for not holding hands or just posing. There has been similar speculation with someone else (maybe with one of the Duggar girls) who covered their hand. We never know until someone is on a lookout for the ring.

I like that how they are keeping their relationship private. They are not flooding social media with couple pics.

Nathan will have to go big if he wants to propose to her and I would like to know what he did or will do.

Proposals:

Erin was in Tn

Alyssa and Whitney in FL

Michealla in DC

[19 cats and counting]

According to that fan who was in the Tori Bates photo, Ashley was at the graduation party so if she's not in TN now, she was yesterday.  

If he wants to go big, go back to NY with her.  I suggest taking her to the Statue of Liberty.

[sunshine]

3 hours ago, 19 cats and counting said:

According to that fan who was in the Tori Bates photo, Ashley was at the graduation party so if she's not in TN now, she was yesterday.  

If he wants to go big, go back to NY with her.  I suggest taking her to the Statue of Liberty.

I don't know what will top the courtship proposal. A plane ride showing a proposal spelled out on the ground? A big diamond ring? What ever it is I bet it won't occur until the end of this season or next. Who is taking the odds on it?

[Snarkle]

3 hours ago, sunshine said:

I like that how they are keeping their relationship private. They are not flooding social media with couple pics.

Hopefully he learned something from Josiah Duggar's broken courtship, which was splashed all over social media and the media in general until it was suddenly called off.  Now hopefully for Nathan no news breaks that would cause Josh-levels of family discord before he seals the deal, but there're definitely skeletons in the IBLP closet, so you never know.

[Palimpsest]

7 hours ago, Snarkle said:

Hopefully he learned something from Josiah Duggar's broken courtship, which was splashed all over social media and the media in general until it was suddenly called off.  Now hopefully for Nathan no news breaks that would cause Josh-levels of family discord before he seals the deal, but there're definitely skeletons in the IBLP closet, so you never know.

The Bates family learned to keep courtships quiet long before Josiah broke up with Marjorie.  They have wiped Zach's failed courtship from their blog but we have the announcement of the break up saved here:

Back then they were all about courtship and Zach proposed courtship on camera, poor guy.  They now call it dating with a purpose and hold off filming until engagements are announced apparently.  The rules are exactly the same, however.

[RosyDaisy]

I thin that bridge they sat on would be a great place. The chaperones could hide somewhere on the opposite end where the carriage starts.

[Snarkle]

3 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

The Bates family learned to keep courtships quiet long before Josiah broke up with Marjorie.  They have wiped Zach's failed courtship from their blog but we have the announcement of the break up saved here:

Oh I'm well aware of Zach's broken courtship - it's mentioned quite a bit on FJ, although others may not know about it so it's worth mentioning again.  Now that the Bateseses have their own show and storylines to keep up, it's even more important for them to pace themselves with announcing major happenings.  My point is Josiah's courtship was splashed everywhere on social media and online well before it would have been shown on the show (before it was cancelled), and then once they had broken it off, Josiah pretty much disappeared from social media again.

[sunshine]

In my opinion, I believed that Lawson had a failed "get to know" person, which is probably why (1) UP covered up Lawson's announcement with a train noise, (2) joked that he can't get the girls not to like him, (3) could be the reason why Ashley in the lineup, just in case, and (4) stated that during Jeb's interview that the courtship might lead to marriage. Sorry, Lawson. Better luck next time.

[iweartanktops]

16 hours ago, sunshine said:

I like that how they are keeping their relationship private. They are not flooding social media with couple pics.

 

I doubt they're keeping the relationship private for privacy. I think it's likely for the show/money. If they keep the public in the dark, they'll get more viewers by revealing the details on the show. 

[MorningMist]

7 hours ago, sunshine said:

In my opinion, I believed that Lawson had a failed "get to know" person, which is probably why (1) UP covered up Lawson's announcement with a train noise, (2) joked that he can't get the girls not to like him, (3) could be the reason why Ashley in the lineup, just in case, and (4) stated that during Jeb's interview that the courtship might lead to marriage. Sorry, Lawson. Better luck next time.

I can definitely see that that could have happened and it is a little suspicious but I get the impression that if it did fail, I think it would be more to do with Lawson than someone rejecting him. In the fundie world, he's a catch, and he doesn't seem to be wanting to enter a(nother) courtship any time soon. I would guess that he got close to it and got a major case of commitment issues.

ETA: Commitment issues was the wrong way of phrasing what I meant. 

[19 cats and counting]

I don't think Lawson has commitment issues, I think he resents having to provide for his family as a teenager and wants to put off having to provide for someone.