Nathan and Ashley Salyer - Courtship

[Justme]

Back in my parents day, most people married the "boy/girl next door". Families and friends lived close. Most people didn't have a big "travel investment" in both time and money to attend. Now a days, family and friends often live all over the country. It can be costly in both time and money to attend a wedding.

I look a it this way, if your neighbor is stopping by for a visit, a cup of coffee/tea plus a few cookies is hospitable. If Aunt Sally is flying in from 1000 miles away, incurring the cost of hotel, meals, and other travel expenses, hospitality decrees a bit hardier fare.

[patsymae]

1 hour ago, OyToTheVey said:

hahahahaha If i had to shlep to bumblefuck no where from Brooklyn, and only got 2 cookies and a thousand people parking lot reception, I would be sooooooooo pissed. That shit don't flow up here. We pay for full cocktail hour, bar and full dinner plus dj/band. 

Edit: I'm also Jewish so a wedding without food, booze and music is beyond my mental capabilities. It's just not done. If you have a wedding, you have to do it right. 

Im Irish and ditto. Once the whole extended family did trek to Kentucky and it ruined out the reception was lemonade and cookies on the church basement. Cookies had been made a week before and frozen, and the older women on our side were told it was our job to serve. Mother of the groom had no idea they would do this and was mortified.

[sophie10130]

7 hours ago, Justme said:

Back in my parents day, most people married the "boy/girl next door". Families and friends lived close. Most people didn't have a big "travel investment" in both time and money to attend. Now a days, family and friends often live all over the country. It can be costly in both time and money to attend a wedding.

I look a it this way, if your neighbor is stopping by for a visit, a cup of coffee/tea plus a few cookies is hospitable. If Aunt Sally is flying in from 1000 miles away, incurring the cost of hotel, meals, and other travel expenses, hospitality decrees a bit hardier fare.

for real. if your Aunt Sally was flying in to see you for the first time in years you would have a huge Sunday dinner with your best recipes and wine to catch up, not just give her some Oreos and punch.

Honestly, any time more than one of my family gets together we eat a huge meal. What's the point of getting together if you don't eat?

[nastyhobbitses]

3 hours ago, sophie10130 said:

for real. if your Aunt Sally was flying in to see you for the first time in years you would have a huge Sunday dinner with your best recipes and wine to catch up, not just give her some Oreos and punch.

Honestly, any time more than one of my family gets together we eat a huge meal. What's the point of getting together if you don't eat?

Yup. Family gatherings are when I break out my Eating Pants.

[Snarkle]

22 hours ago, patsymae said:

Im Irish and ditto. Once the whole extended family did trek to Kentucky and it ruined out the reception was lemonade and cookies on the church basement. Cookies had been made a week before and frozen, and the older women on our side were told it was our job to serve. Mother of the groom had no idea they would do this and was mortified.

The only time I got lemonade and cookies at a wedding was when a friend who was LDS/Mormon got married and they had a backyard reception wedding.  No booze, no caffeine (so no Coke or coffee) - just lemonade, cookies, and cake.  They were young and were sealed in the temple in Chicago so we didn't get to see them actually get married, but we did wait in the lobby of the temple while they were sealed.  In their case we weren't offended that there wasn't a "regular" reception because it made sense in their circles.

[nastyhobbitses]

1 hour ago, Snarkle said:

The only time I got lemonade and cookies at a wedding was when a friend who was LDS/Mormon got married and they had a backyard reception wedding.  No booze, no caffeine (so no Coke or coffee) - just lemonade, cookies, and cake.  They were young and were sealed in the temple in Chicago so we didn't get to see them actually get married, but we did wait in the lobby of the temple while they were sealed.  In their case we weren't offended that there wasn't a "regular" reception because it made sense in their circles.

I once went to a dry afternoon reception that had lemonade and an assortment of finger foods. While the Jewish-Italian girl in me was completely unaccustomed to the idea of a wedding that did not involve enough food and booze to rival the feasts from Viking legends, it was actually quite nice. They had lots of little pastries and canapes (including lemon tarts that were to die for), and the lemonade was freshly squeezed and there were infusion options available (rosemary, berries, etc.). 

[Bgirl]

Has anyone seen The Bates Instagram page? There's a picture of the family in Georgia and Ashley was with them. 

[DaisyD]

I suppose it's just a matter of what you can afford/choose to spend. I don't think it makes sense to go into debt for a party. We had a small wedding followed by a reception at a restaurant. My dress only cost $100. I got my bridesmaid dresses on clearance for like $30 each at Penney's. My sister really went all out with a ceremony and reception at Opryland Resort. They spent many times what I did, but they didn't go into debt either. She wanted a big party, I would have been fine going to the JP. It's really just a matter of what's important to the couple. If anyone had been pissed off by what I did for my own wedding, they shouldn't have come. That may be bitchy, but that one day is not about other people. 

[GreyhoundFan]

16 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

I once went to a dry afternoon reception that had lemonade and an assortment of finger foods. While the Jewish-Italian girl in me was completely unaccustomed to the idea of a wedding that did not involve enough food and booze to rival the feasts from Viking legends, it was actually quite nice. They had lots of little pastries and canapes (including lemon tarts that were to die for), and the lemonade was freshly squeezed and there were infusion options available (rosemary, berries, etc.). 

I went to a dry wedding that was tiny. The bride and groom were friends of mine from college and they were getting married about 10 days after graduating. They had almost no money and their families weren't well off. The wedding was at her Lutheran church and the reception was in the basement. There was punch (which I served) and cookies. Nobody was unhappy about it because we were happy for the couple. Of course, they didn't invite 800 people and have the week worth of events that the Bates and Duggars seem to have. There were fewer than 50 guests. Most of the guests weren't wealthy, so there were no expensive gifts. I think I gave them a cookie jar.

I think it just depends on what you can afford and what fits your style.

[OyToTheVey]

17 hours ago, nastyhobbitses said:

I once went to a dry afternoon reception that had lemonade and an assortment of finger foods. While the Jewish-Italian girl in me was completely unaccustomed to the idea of a wedding that did not involve enough food and booze to rival the feasts from Viking legends, it was actually quite nice. They had lots of little pastries and canapes (including lemon tarts that were to die for), and the lemonade was freshly squeezed and there were infusion options available (rosemary, berries, etc.). 

haha I'm Jewish Russian. If a wedding doesn't have enough food and booze to feed all of Siberia for the winter, it wasn't a good wedding. We once went to a wedding that had a 2 course dinner but it took like 3 hours for the main course to come out, it's still talked about as one of the worst weddings we've been too. Don't get me started on bars without putting a bottle on the table. There's no need for a bar just put 2 bottles on each table and we happy lol

[GreenTea]

17 hours ago, Bgirl said:

Has anyone seen The Bates Instagram page? There's a picture of the family in Georgia and Ashley was with them. 

The Bates family is in Atlanta, Georgia visiting UP's head office and filming interviews. http://www.batesfamilyblog.com/2016/04/big-bates-news.html I suggested they go visit the Tellus Science Museum, but I highly doubt they will. You know because the science facts and dinosaurs.  

[19 cats and counting]

I see there's a few specials that will air before season 4 premieres.

I wonder if one has to do with Nathan and Ashley.  (I just wonder what is going on that deserves a special.  If Michael's wedding wasn't called a special, then what is worthy of it?)

[bashfulpixie]

3 hours ago, OyToTheVey said:

haha I'm Jewish Russian. If a wedding doesn't have enough food and booze to feed all of Siberia for the winter, it wasn't a good wedding. We once went to a wedding that had a 2 course dinner but it took like 3 hours for the main course to come out, it's still talked about as one of the worst weddings we've been too. Don't get me started on bars without putting a bottle on the table. There's no need for a bar just put 2 bottles on each table and we happy lol

I'm Scotch-Irish and once made a joke about my wedding someday being dry.  I've never seen my family look so horrified. Lol!

[sophie10130]

7 minutes ago, bashfulpixie said:

I'm Scotch-Irish and once made a joke about my wedding someday being dry.  I've never seen my family look so horrified. Lol!

Our reception was going to have alcohol care of my wonderful dad, and there were still some people from my husband's side who brought their own coolers just in case 

[Bgirl]

26 minutes ago, 19 cats and counting said:

I see there's a few specials that will air before season 4 premieres.

I wonder if one has to do with Nathan and Ashley.  (I just wonder what is going on that deserves a special.  If Michael's wedding wasn't called a special, then what is worthy of it?)

I think they're doing a Mother's Day special.

[HereticHick]

8 minutes ago, Bgirl said:

I think they're doing a Mother's Day special.

Which will be all flashbacks & already aired footage?? Yawn.

 

 

[Dandruff]

7 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

Which will be all flashbacks & already aired footage?? Yawn.

Maybe some ultrasound pics of the upcoming Paine and Bates daughters, homages to the moms (nothing new there), and playtime for the kids - in utero and out.

Won't surprise me if there's an announcement from Michaella and/or Alyssa.

[OyToTheVey]

1 hour ago, bashfulpixie said:

I'm Scotch-Irish and once made a joke about my wedding someday being dry.  I've never seen my family look so horrified. Lol!

OMGGGG I can't even imagine what my family would say if I ever mentioned that hahahahaha

[formergothardite]

1 hour ago, Bgirl said:

I think they're doing a Mother's Day special.

It should be a special about the daughters who raised Kelly's children for her because she was too busy trying to have another baby. They are the real moms in that house. 

[Natalie22]

1 hour ago, OyToTheVey said:

OMGGGG I can't even imagine what my family would say if I ever mentioned that hahahahaha

I believe my grandmother used to say that if you couldn't afford an open bar, then you should have a smaller wedding  

[19 cats and counting]

46 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

It should be a special about the daughters who raised Kelly's children for her because she was too busy trying to have another baby. They are the real moms in that house. 

Give a special shout out to Michael, who potty trained the younger kids.  

[formergothardite]

I had a small wedding, no alcohol, not a huge meal It was what we could afford. My whole wedding, including the dress cost around $2000. But that is the sort of wedding most of the people I invited had or was going to have, so it really wasn't a big deal and nobody was offended. 

[Shouldabeenacowboy]

2 hours ago, formergothardite said:

I had a small wedding, no alcohol, not a huge meal It was what we could afford. My whole wedding, including the dress cost around $2000. But that is the sort of wedding most of the people I invited had or was going to have, so it really wasn't a big deal and nobody was offended. 

I see no issues with that. 

My issue is: having a huge wedding with 1000 guests/volunteers/slaves whom you clearly cannot afford to feed properly, many of whom spent a lot of hours helping you out (OK, you can argue they wanted to be on camera!). By all means do what you are able to afford and what you like, but if you're having 1000 people who have been working unpaid for you for multiple days, have the decency to feed them more than ice cream in a parking lot! *

*Apologies if I always bring up Jessa's wedding "reception", but the ice cream in the parking lot in November is just unbeatable on the list of "hideous, tasteless, cheap a$$ wedding "receptions" ".

[bashfulpixie]

5 hours ago, sophie10130 said:

Our reception was going to have alcohol care of my wonderful dad, and there were still some people from my husband's side who brought their own coolers just in case 

My brother's friends tailgated before one of their friend's evening wedding, so nothing can surprise me.  Lol.  My brother was a groomsman and sent me a text to get them inside before the ceremony started.

[Marilla-Cuthbert2013]

On 4/19/2016 at 4:33 AM, LawsonBatesEgo said:

Especially Hispanics.

We Latinos don't mess around with crappy parties. 

My husband and I were married in Annapolis... but my dad and stepmother threw a reception in my hometown in New Mexico. A simple backyard bbq they said... The reality?  I knew we were in for a long night when my stepbrother started building a fire pit at about 7:00 in the morning. After the band played their last set at 10:00 (you know when the simple bbq was supposed to be over), guests started bringing out their guitars and kept the party going until 2:00 in the morning. 

At my wedding in Annapolis, the wedding coordinator said that she was upgrading our open bar because it was her experience that people don't drink at morning weddings. Even my non-Hispanic family an friends took that as a personal challenge.