Lori Alexander is going to haaaaate this

[latraviata]

Apparantly this is what Lori and Ken's marriage is about, agonising dilemmae, such as do we have spaghetti or chicken parm? Are you serious??

[jerkit]

Apparantly this is what Lori and Ken's marriage is about, agonising dilemmae, such as do we have spaghetti or chicken parm? Are you serious??

Their privilege is showing

[feministxtian]

I've been thinking a lot about lorken since we started packing to move...here's a sample conversation here...Me: "babe...do you really want to keep this crap (mr. xtian is a pack rat)?" Him: "well...yeah". Me: "then go get some boxes and pack it yourself".

Second conversation (me sorting out stuff to take with me when I go out to LV to start my new job)...Me: "well...if I forget anything, I guess I can just go to the store and replace it". Him: "yeah...don't worry about it, if you can't find it, I'll just send it to you or wait for when you come home one weekend."...

Yes lorken...I'm leaving my husband to finish packing our house so I can go start my new job 400 miles away. While I'm out there, I'll also be looking for a house for us...AND...I will probably pick out the house, pay the deposits, move in, make the truck reservations, fly back and help load said truck and then drive either the U-Haul OR the SUV (which will be filled with my dogs) 400 miles...AND help unload said truck.

Lori would be wringing her hands and asking Ken how to tape a damn box...

[Hisey]

Here's another thing that's sad: Lori, who runs the kitchen in that household, thinks that spaghetti is best. She has a lot of organic ground turkey in the freezer (must mention it's organic. . . ). With only 2 people in the home, perhaps she wants to use it up before it gets freezer burn. Maybe the food allowance Ken gives her is running low. Maybe her head hurts her and spaghetti is easiest.

The thing is, no one gives her credit for knowing what best to cook for the party. She doesn't give herself credit (apparently she thought furiously about this, then decided God wanted her cooking the chicken parm). Ken doesn't seem to care that she has food on hand already. No one--not even Lori--seems to care that LORI might know best about what to serve. And cooking is the one area where she feels some control and is given some amount of autonomy by Mr. LeadYourWife.

I mean, Ken, come on. You control your own business, you get to make all of the major decisions in the household, you even control your son and son-in-law when they work for you. Can't Lori even decide for herself what to make for this friggin party?

I also think it's interesting that Lori--who says she is too sick to work and can barely make it to her kids' weddings--is suddenly capable of whipping up giant batches of food for groups of guests. And Ken has no qualms about asking her to tackle a more complicated dish like chicken parm.

[Hisey]

I wonder if Ken said he wanted chicken parm just so he'd have the chance to "lead" and "assert his will" and get what he wants because the Bible says so. If Lori had said chicken parm, would he have asked for spaghetti?

[HoneyBunny]

Honestly, the conflict in their marriage revolves around things like menu planning? They have to pull out the Bible to solve that one?

First world problems, for sure.

Lorken, I don't care how much you brag about Godly kids and holding hands during walks on the beach....you guys have the sorriest excuse for a marriage I've ever seen especially given you spend all your time bragging about how wonderful it all is.

[Tiger Lily]

Here's another thing that's sad: Lori, who runs the kitchen in that household, thinks that spaghetti is best. She has a lot of organic ground turkey in the freezer (must mention it's organic. . . ). With only 2 people in the home, perhaps she wants to use it up before it gets freezer burn. Maybe the food allowance Ken gives her is running low. Maybe her head hurts her and spaghetti is easiest.

The thing is, no one gives her credit for knowing what best to cook for the party. She doesn't give herself credit (apparently she thought furiously about this, then decided God wanted her cooking the chicken parm). Ken doesn't seem to care that she has food on hand already. No one--not even Lori--seems to care that LORI might know best about what to serve. And cooking is the one area where she feels some control and is given some amount of autonomy by Mr. LeadYourWife.

I mean, Ken, come on. You control your own business, you get to make all of the major decisions in the household, you even control your son and son-in-law when they work for you. Can't Lori even decide for herself what to make for this friggin party?

I also think it's interesting that Lori--who says she is too sick to work and can barely make it to her kids' weddings--is suddenly capable of whipping up giant batches of food for groups of guests. And Ken has no qualms about asking her to tackle a more complicated dish like chicken parm.

All great points which hadn't occurred to me. If, as Lori proclaims, the wife is the keeper at home and it is her domain, then why doesn't Ken trust her to do her thing? Is he so caught up in the power trip that he must regularly assert himself? And Lori, being the submissive martyr for God, goes along with it. Still, I can't feel sorry for either of them since their motives are purely selfish which is funny considering today's post. Guess Ken and Lori would both know about selfish motives, wouldn't they? The problem is that they assume everyone is as dysfunctional as they are.

[church_of_dog]

As everyone has pointed out, they're just not applying common sense, caring about the other person, and basic communication to their situation -- he has a perfectly valid reason to think chicken parm is better, and she has at least one perfectly valid reason to think spaghetti is the ticket (whatever those reasons may have been).

So in a healthy relationship, they would each give their reasons and then they would mutually decide (if indeed Ken felt the need, otherwise he could just leave it up to her since she's the one doing the cooking) which is best. In other words, if his reason, "wanting it to be special" was acknowledged to be more important than her reason (perhaps "so it won't get freezer burn", which is valid but using it up a few days later wouldn't make a difference) then they might decide on the parm. If her reason for preferring the sketti was because she wasn't feeling well and it's an easier dish, then they might reasonably decide THAT's more important than having the meal feel more "special". Or, once they are aware of the real issues, they might decide that someone else would help Lori or even do the cooking, so that both goals could be met (having a special-er meal plus her not needing to exacerbate her not feeling well)

And while I personally don't feel the need for every any of my decisions to be "godly" or "biblical", even if I did feel that need, there is no way I would feel like the intention of the creator was for us to do other than use the brains we were given, to do things that make sense and to communicate well with our partners! :doh:

[salex]

Why does Lori think she is qualified to mentor couples and act as some sort of marriage counsellor. Who would take advice from someone who cannot honestly say she loves her husband.

Wait, Ken's been reading here and heard your complaint. In her Susanne Somers post, Lori says

Ken and I care for each other now.

So, see, she said something that is sort of a faint, distant, imitation of loving her husband, when pressured to do so by the folks here at FJ via Ken.

Dance Ken, Dance! :mullet-nanner:

[jerkit]

Today Lori calls out another one of her readers. If she keeps this up, the only readers she's going to have are FJites lol.

Also, public school leads to hell.

[Firiel]

Guys, I want to collect all the Ken Alexander Numerical Statistics together so we can see them in all of their glory.

But that seems like a lot of work, and I already dick off way too much.

[jerkit]

I just saw the red herring.

:lol: :clap:

[polecat]

Wait, Ken's been reading here and heard your complaint. In her Susanne Somers post, Lori says

So, see, she said something that is sort of a faint, distant, imitation of loving her husband, when pressured to do so by the folks here at FJ via Ken.

Dance Ken, Dance! :mullet-nanner:

Ken: I love you, Lori!

Lori: I care for you.

:evil-eye:

[formergothardite]

Guys, I want to collect all the Ken Alexander Numerical Statistics together so we can see them in all of their glory.

But that seems like a lot of work, and I already dick off way too much.

I had once considered doing that, but couldn't figure out an easy way to search his posts here to do it.

So Lori cares for Ken. But does she love him? Or does she do things for him out of obligation? That was the actual question she refused to answer.

[Curious]

Ken says:

How often are couples in situations where submission is actually an issue? Maybe my marriage is just one of those pesky exceptions/red herrings, but I think the last time "submission" would have been an issue -- in that we had a big decision to make -- was several weeks ago when we had to decide how to handle a major house repair. Before that, I think actually buying the house was the last big issue to decide -- and that was several years ago. There was no arguing: We were just trying to figure out what was the best way to go.

But Lorken is having issues multiple times a week that require her to submit to his commands? Ken, you're micromanaging. Either that, or she's in full rebellion. You should do something about that instead of pontificating endlessly on your blog. :)

Every blog post these two numbnuts write reveals even more of their dysfunctional relationship. I don't understand why they're not more embarrassed to put this stuff out there.

This. How many things per day are there to disagree on, FFS. We bought a car recently and at first I was balking about the color choice my husband liked. Then I realized I don't drive the car, what do I care what color it is and told him get whatever color he wants. We weren't arguing about it. I was just suggesting other colors I liked better. Total conversation was probably 10 minutes max.

Other than that, which I wouldn't even really call a disagreement per se, I can't think of anything that required a decision of the magnitude that would require someone to submit (if we had that kind of relationship).

Ken always talks about the several (up to many) times a week that one or the other of them gets their way. Do they make EVERY SINGLE decision a person makes during the course of the day an issue that must be submitted to

Lori: Ken, I thought I'd make eggs for breakfast today.

Ken: I want cereal

Lori: Well, I already have the eggs cracked so how about we just have eggs and you have cereal tomorrow or have some cereal with your eggs?

Ken: NO! I don't want eggs today! We are having cereal!

Lori: uh well I already have the eggs cracked so they will be wasted. I'll just eat the eggs, you go ahead and have cereal then, no problem.

Ken: I said WE are having cereal for breakfast. There will be NO eggs!

Lori: *sigh* fine We will have cereal

Repeat at every meal, what time to go to bed, what to wear, when to go for a walk, etc.

[Curious]

Wow. I was actually going to make a joke about how their disagreements must be about what to eat for dinner if they are happening that often.

Turns out I would have just been describing reality.

I should have read a couple more posts before posting what I did, it seems :P I should know to read a whole thread before commenting when I'm behind.

[jerkit]

Oh the hypocrisy. It hurts.

Hire a part-time nanny. There is nothing unbiblical about hiring help if and when you need it to take care of your home and family.

Debi says that if adults other than the mom are around the kid, they WILL be molested. :naughty:

[Koala]

Oh the hypocrisy. It hurts.

Debi says that if adults other than the mom are around the kid, they WILL be molested. :naughty:

Lori has clearly stated that her nanny held her daughter for "hours a day".

Further, I find it very telling that Lori just flippantly advises this woman to hire a nanny. Most families (at least the ones I know) DO NOT have the money for that kind of thing. Particularly if the wife is already staying home.

[jerkit]

Lori has clearly stated that her nanny held her daughter for "hours a day".

Further, I find it very telling that Lori just flippantly advises this woman to hire a nanny. Most families (at least the ones I know) DO NOT have the money for that kind of thing. Particularly if the wife is already staying home.

Her ignorance of her own privilege is gag-inducing.

[Koala]

Now watch how Lori just served herself.

Reader:

I was just wondering your thoughts on something, Lori. What is your opinion about a mother who works part-time and while she is working the two grandmothers share time caring for the children? The children do not go to a daycare. One day a week one of the grandmothers has the children. Two days a week the other grandmother has the children. And the fourth day the children are with their daddy.

Now I realize that by working these hours the mother has less energy to pour into her homemaking, planning and fixing nutritious meals, etc. I am just wondering your opinion on the children being cared for and taught by two Godly grandmothers if they are not with their mother.

Thank you!

Lori:

The Bible is very clear that it is to be mothers who are the keepers at home raising their children. They know and love their children the most and are the ones called by God to teach them His ways and to discipline them. No one takes the place of a mother in a child's life. I believe mothers need to do whatever they need to do to be home full-time with their children, if at all possible.

Lori:

Hire a part-time nanny.

Lori:

Lucy was a Nanny sent from heaven who never wanted to let Cassi cry, so she held her hours a day.

In conclusion:

Nanny- Acceptable (because Godly Mentor Lori had one)

Grandmas and Dads- Not God's plan

[jerkit]

What's it called when you're a snob about the age in which you live? Like, you think that the way things were done in the past is wrong because it's different than the way you do it?

Lori has that.

[Curious]

What I learned today is that I need to forget about what works in my marriage and follow Ken's GOD'S word for marriage. Only then will I be truly as miserable happy as Ken and Lori.

Forget about "what works" for second and go to God and ask if you can trust Him at His Word for your life and marriage.

Maybe "what works" is what God wants. Maybe God gets tired of humans, who he gave working brains to, asking HIM to do everything for them and he's happy for the people that figure shit out for themselves because it gives him more time to make sure there are parking spaces open when needed and that cell phone cases magically appear when asked for.

[Curious]

Wait, Ken's been reading here and heard your complaint. In her Susanne Somers post, Lori says

So, see, she said something that is sort of a faint, distant, imitation of loving her husband, when pressured to do so by the folks here at FJ via Ken.

Dance Ken, Dance! :mullet-nanner:

I can muster up a better response for people that I am friends with online that I've never met or people that I've only met a couple times in real life (having known them online before that). We are talking about your husband of decades here, not some guy your parents just threw you into a courtship with a la Jessa/Jill Duggar.

That's just sad, sad, sad.

[Curious]

I had once considered doing that, but couldn't figure out an easy way to search his posts here to do it.

So Lori cares for Ken. But does she love him? Or does she do things for him out of obligation? That was the actual question she refused to answer.

Oh she answered it...loud and clear ;)

[Curious]

Oh the hypocrisy. It hurts.

Debi says that if adults other than the mom are around the kid, they WILL be molested. :naughty:

Not that I don't think that being a SAHM is a lot of work, because I know it is, but isn't the whole purpose of being a SAHM so YOU can raise your kids? Why would you want to hire a nanny (and why would you really need to) if you are a SAHM.

I find this whole concept of SAHMs with nannies very confusing.