Lori Alexander is going to haaaaate this

[jerkit]

A commenter said she has never had an argument with her husband (which I find extremely hard to believe but that's besides the point). Lori asked her how this is possible. Commenter responds with a link to her own blog post: lindsays-logic.blogspot.com/2012/05/how-to-settle-disagreements-without.html?m=1

 

*shock* it's about conflict resolution which includes mutual respect and discussion from both parties. Lori recently called these tactics "fleshly" on Sheila's blog.

 

Lori is not going to like this one bit.

[formergothardite]

How long till Lori deletes it because she declares it not Biblical or some sort of attack on her?

[polecat]

A commenter said she has never had an argument with her husband (which I find extremely hard to believe but that's besides the point). Lori asked her how this is possible. Commenter responds with a link to her own blog post: lindsays-logic.blogspot.com/2012/05/how-to-settle-disagreements-without.html?m=1

*shock* it's about conflict resolution which includes mutual respect and discussion from both parties. Lori recently called these tactics "fleshly" on Sheila's blog.

Lori is not going to like this one bit.

DELETE!!!!!!!!

I know a couple who've been married 40-something years, and they claim to have never fought. They both have laid-back, mellow personalities, so I think it's entirely possible. Meanwhile, my husband and I are both hotheads, and I'm highly strung, soooo ... Yeah, we fight sometimes. :embarrassed:

[jerkit]

How long till Lori deletes it because she declares it not Biblical or some sort of attack on her?

Lori must be busy for the next 15 minutes or I think she'd have deleted already.

[jerkit]

DELETE!!!!!!!!

I know a couple who've been married 40-something years, and they claim to have never fought. They both have laid-back, mellow personalities, so I think it's entirely possible. Meanwhile, my husband and I are both hotheads, and I'm highly strung, soooo ... Yeah, we fight sometimes. :embarrassed:

I mean, I guess it's possible but it's a foreign concept to me. Sometimes you just need to have a little spat so you can make up later haha. Mr. Jerkit and I have small short fights on the regular.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Check out Lori's comments on peacefulwife.com.

peacefulwife.com/2014/09/06/do-i-condone-marital-rape/

April is clarifying that she does NOT condone any kind of threats, bullying, abuse, force or rape, and does not want to see any of her stuff quoted in defense of that stuff. IIRC, she had a tiff with cabinetman at some point before he started his blog. Since she mentions that the threat of divorce should NOT be used to get a wife to submit, it's clear that April and cabinetman directly disagree.

Anyway, out comes Lori. Post 1, she declares that she loves what April wrote. Post 2 - suddenly, she realizes that she's want to make some changes....

To her credit, April's pretty clear that her blog is aimed at a particular audience. She writes for women with a particular type of belief, and a particular type of personality. Here's a novel idea - she also acknowledges that what Ken would call "exceptions" exist, and that she's really not equipped to be giving internet advice to anyone in those situations. Lori doesn't really understand, since she thinks it's obvious that all women are control freaks like her.

[2xx1xy1JD]

I mean, I guess it's possible but it's a foreign concept to me. Sometimes you just need to have a little spat so you can make up later haha. Mr. Jerkit and I have small short fights on the regular.

Our fights are really, really rare. Often, any outbursts aren't even related to a dispute - it's just that someone hasn't slept in 36 hours/is coming down with pneumonia/is hormonal and frazzled/is under a shitload of stress. We learned early on that fighting when someone is in that sort of mood won't go well, so we don't do it.

I think our last dispute involved hiking in Arizona. He really wanted to hike both Bell Rock and Cathedral Rock in Sedona. We had some trouble finding the entrance to the Cathedral Rock hike, it was close to noon by the time we got there, and I said that there was no way that I could physically do the hike in 100 degree weather and survive, while he said that there was no way he wanted to miss the hike. So....we did some quick research, realized that 6 am was the ideal time to do this particular hike, agreed that we would do it and leave a bit later for the Grand Canyon, and both of us were thrilled with the early morning hike the next day. If we had been stuck in angry mode, it would have been harder to focus on getting to a solution.

[polecat]

Check out Lori's comments on peacefulwife.com.

peacefulwife.com/2014/09/06/do-i-condone-marital-rape/

April is clarifying that she does NOT condone any kind of threats, bullying, abuse, force or rape, and does not want to see any of her stuff quoted in defense of that stuff. IIRC, she had a tiff with cabinetman at some point before he started his blog. Since she mentions that the threat of divorce should NOT be used to get a wife to submit, it's clear that April and cabinetman directly disagree.

Anyway, out comes Lori. Post 1, she declares that she loves what April wrote. Post 2 - suddenly, she realizes that she's want to make some changes....

That exchange made me smile a bit to myself.

(The translation that went down in my head)

Lori: ZOMG!!! I LOVE THIS AND WANT TO C&P IT ALL! But I should ask first so that those awful FJers don't accuse me of plagiarism again.

Blogger: Sure! Feel free to use it!

Lori: Oh, wait. You know what? I want to change some things. I need to vomit up some of my bile into it to make it good and blistering for all those unsubmissive bitches women I teach.

Blogger's fans: No, that would change the message. Blogger has a sweet, loving voice, and changing that would change the entire message.

Lori: HMPH!

[jerkit]

That exchange made me smile a bit to myself.

(The translation that went down in my head)

Lori: ZOMG!!! I LOVE THIS AND WANT TO C&P IT ALL! But I should ask first so that those awful FJers don't accuse me of plagiarism again.

Blogger: Sure! Feel free to use it!

Lori: Oh, wait. You know what? I want to change some things. I need to vomit up some of my bile into it to make it good and blistering for all those unsubmissive bitches women I teach.

Blogger's fans: No, that would change the message. Blogger has a sweet, loving voice, and changing that would change the entire message.

Lori: HMPH!

An extremely accurate summary.

Peacefulwife seems almost tolerable. Lori has to...well...Lori it up.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Is it just me, or does anyone else sense a passive-aggressive dig here:

Sandi

September 6, 2014 at 9:49 am #

Lori,

I think what April has written here is golden.

By the way, I agree that most women are looking for control. I think it applies to all aspects of their lives, not just with their husbands. Giving up control is just plain hard isn’t it?

I’m thinking there’s a lesson in this somewhere…..

Blessings,

Sandi

[from the same comments on peacefulwife.com]

Translation: Lori, you are a control-freak, who just stopped controlling Ken and started to do focus on other women instead.

[jerkit]

Is it just me, or does anyone else sense a passive-aggressive dig here:

[from the same comments on peacefulwife.com]

Translation: Lori, you are a control-freak, who just stopped controlling Ken and started to do focus on other women instead.

And lori totally didn't get it because she's dense and self absorbed. Ugggghhh.

[Koala]

Lori, please do not change April’s post in any way. She has a gentleness that not many have, she does not come across as lecturing or scolding, this is important! God’s love is felt strongly in her post.

[formergothardite]

Surprisingly Lori didn't delete the post, but she responded saying that Ken would have a post coming out about that subject. Very telling that Lori is incapable of writing a post about good communication in a marriage, she has to get Ken to do it. I bet Ken's post will be a passive aggressive jab at Sheila.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Ok, I have 30 sec before it comes out, so let's see if I can predict it right:

"Even non-Christians can have marriages where they get along, using earthly tools like psychology and "conflict-resolution". These are ok, sort of band-aid solutions, but they never really worked for us so we think it's useless but I'll use the phrase "that's all well and good". To be truly biblical, though, you've got to submit just like Lori and Debi Pearl tell you to, and until then you won't have a truly great marriage. Bottom line: real Christians don't do conflict resolution.

[jerkit]

Ken, what the actual heck are you talking about? You make zero sense.

Apparently, honest and respectful discussion is either fleshly or spiritual. And only spiritual is allowed. And no one is allowed to have needs. And when a wife is having honest and respectful discussion, it's because she wants to have needs.

What?

OMG. I can't.

[formergothardite]

Ok, I have 30 sec before it comes out, so let's see if I can predict it right:

"Even non-Christians can have marriages where they get along, using earthly tools like psychology and "conflict-resolution". These are ok, sort of band-aid solutions, but they never really worked for us so we think it's useless but I'll use the phrase "that's all well and good". To be truly biblical, though, you've got to submit just like Lori and Debi Pearl tell you to, and until then you won't have a truly great marriage. Bottom line: real Christians don't do conflict resolution.

:lol: You know Ken so well.

This confuses me, though:

But such tools, even those found in the Bible are not in themselves spiritual.

That doesn't even make sense. Biblical tools for dealing with conflict are not spiritual enough for Ken and Lori? But wifely submission always is.

[jerkit]

He totally does not get what Sheila was saying. At all. Using conflict resolution for selfish gain is NOT what she was talking about. Not one bit. Ken totally missed the boat. And crashed into the dock.

[polecat]

But such tools, even those found in the Bible are not in themselves spiritual.

Wow, Lorken is holier than the Bible itself!

[formergothardite]

He had to throw in a line about "difficult" wives. :roll: What about all those "difficult" husbands who use submission as a way to be selfish Ken? Why doesn't Lori write a post about that?

[2xx1xy1JD]

It didn't work for Ken and Lori because they were just going through the motions, and never changed their basic selfish and controlling POVs.

Ken's "conflict resolution" skills come out when he pretends to agree with opponents, when he interrogates people and when he suggests doing some bizarre bargaining or impose consequences (back rubs for all occasions). The idea that you could empathize with someone, care for them, look around and see that they need some help, or spend time with your babies because you love them, doesn't cross his radar.

If Lori ever had any conflict resolution skills, she shows no sign of it.

[2xx1xy1JD]

Ken, what the actual heck are you talking about? You make zero sense.

Apparently, honest and respectful discussion is either fleshly or spiritual. And only spiritual is allowed. And no one is allowed to have needs. And when a wife is having honest and respectful discussion, it's because she wants to have needs.

What?

OMG. I can't.

Yes, Ken has programmed his brain so that wife sitting down for a reasonable discussion = wife about to try to control husband through fleshy conflict resolution.

With that attitude, is it any wonder that it never worked for them?

[Koala]

Wow, Lorken is holier than the Bible itself!

We all knew it was coming to this. Ken has been forced to admit that sometimes he and Lori know better than the Bible (lest someone quote them scripture that contradicts what they are saying).

These two should have divorced years ago.

[jerkit]

Yes, Ken has programmed his brain so that wife sitting down for a reasonable discussion = wife about to try to control husband through fleshy conflict resolution.

With that attitude, is it any wonder that it never worked for them?

He's write in that motive is everything. He is SO very wrong that most people have the evil horrible motives Ken ascribes to them.

[Curious]

Ken, what the actual heck are you talking about? You make zero sense.

Apparently, honest and respectful discussion is either fleshly or spiritual. And only spiritual is allowed. And no one is allowed to have needs. And when a wife is having honest and respectful discussion, it's because she wants to have needs.

What?

OMG. I can't.

All people have needs. Ken is college educated and he didn't learn about a guy named Maslow?

[Firiel]

Okay, so I didn't read the whole thing. Usually I make it a point to read a post before commenting on it, buuuuuut... it's Ken.

Here's what jumped out at me:

The answer is that many non-Christian and Christian couples have discovered the wisdom of how to communicate well, how to argue fairly, how to compromise, and even be generous with the other spouse who is in a bad mood from time to time.

Wow! People have even learned to be generous! Like it's some amazing concept and not something you were supposed to learn by third grade. Lorken just keeps digging...