Bro Gary Hawkins Part 2: Saved and Eating Weens, Like a MAN!

[PumaLover]

I've had a couple drinks tonight and also thought "dipper head" was "diaper head." So there you go. You just need a few dranks to figure out the Weenese.

[mango_fandango]

Why do fundies assume that all gay people are rapists?? If they're thinking of people like Jeffrey Dahmer... well, the whole reason stories like that become news is because they are so fucking rare! It's also wrong to brand them all sodomites. Sure, some gays may practise anal, but not all. It's rarely going to be the only sexual activity either. 

[Lurky]

@mango_fandango It's always the most horrible men who assume all gay men are lusting after them too.  I had a colleague who was complaining a young, handsome air steward was obviously gay, and how lucky colleague was to have the window seat, so he was "safe" from any advances - and looking at this dude, with grubby shirt, bad hair, terrible aftershave and a look that generally screamed undesirable, all I could think was "you should be so lucky".  That idea from the most unlikely straight men that they're utterly irresistible is amazing.

[Cleopatra7]

22 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Why do fundies assume that all gay people are rapists?? If they're thinking of people like Jeffrey Dahmer... well, the whole reason stories like that become news is because they are so fucking rare! It's also wrong to brand them all sodomites. Sure, some gays may practise anal, but not all. It's rarely going to be the only sexual activity either. 

I think fundies believe that if they remind the general public what horrible, “unnatural” practices gay people engage in, the yuck factor will be enough to delegitimize calls for LGBT rights. But that tactic only works among like-minded fundies. More often than not, harping on anal sex (which more straight people do than gay, simply because there are more of the former than the latter) or bestiality just makes the speaker seem like he or she has a prurient and overactive imagination. However, since the 1960s, many Christian fundies, both Catholic and Protestant, have taken the view that everything a heterosexually married Christian couple does in the bedroom is sacred and sanctioned by god, no matter how freaky it is, while two people of the same sex who are chastely holding hands in public should be chased down with pitchforks and flaming torches. This is a major change from how “sodomy” was defined in the past, which referred to a number of “unnatural sexual acts,” not all of which involved same sex partners. 

[JillsFlowerHeadband]

Ok folks

Bro and Sis Ween are at their home church and looking to get back on the grifting trail. I can't help but feel like all this talk about "coming to be a help" is better translated "coming to collect a love offering from the people of your church".

I know it's been mentioned before but this post just really frosts me.

Bro using Scripture as a club to excuse himself from doing things he doesn't want to do? Ugh. 2 Peter 1:20 says that "no scripture is of private interpretation". In other words, Bro Ween, taking one scripture out of context and twisting it to justify doing something that you want to do as "God's will"? Not cool, man. Not cool. Shame on you for bludgeoning well meaning people with your own selfish agendas cloaked in "God's Word". Shame on you.

Sis "Dishonor on you and dishonor on your ween gravy" JFH

[Dandruff]

30 minutes ago, JillsFlowerHeadband said:

I can't help but feel like all this talk about "coming to be a help" is better translated "coming to collect a love offering from the people of your church".

Agree - if churches really wanted the Bro Gary Version (BGV), he wouldn't have to keep begging for a slot to beg in, would he?  He'd be invited, probably well in advance.

I imagine he also "cold calls" plenty of churches, hoping to talk his way onto the roster.  I'd guess quite a bit of pestering is done before he gives up.

[Lurky]

If I went to a church, and they had a "guest pastor" who turned up to basically beg for cash, I'd be really unhappy about it, especially with the natural disasters that have hit the USA this year - but then it seems from the Rods, and other grifting types, that it's a common thing in the Fundy end of churches. 

[Spanger]

I think Bro Gary is pretty high on my list of fundies that I would not enjoy observing putting on a public spectacle...  Even if I agreed with his preaching, his public speaking skills are, like...  On a scale of 1-10 they are a negative number.  And I cannot with their singing either.  So no matter what they are doing onstage, I would have a hard time just sitting there watching.

I would be more upset about a surprise Nog interaction, because they seem like they could snap in a really bad way at any time, and I would be afraid.  I would also be more upset to see the Millers, Because Pertussis and those people should be quarantining that shit.  But after those two, I would find Bro Gary the most upsetting.

For the record, although I think Jill is horrifying in her own special way, I think I might enjoy seeing the Rod family singers in person.  Maybe not enough to seek them out and see them perform on purpose, but say if they just showed up to a wedding or baby shower or something that I was at, that would actually make my day, lol.

[feministxtian]

not a single guest preacher that has been to my church has EVER said ONE WORD about money. None, nada, zip, zero. But, then again, i doubt Pastor Dave would think too highly of someone just showing up and wanting to preach at services either. We've had plenty of guests, I'd say probably at least 15 this year so far...if our church invites them, we usually pay for the travel and hotel. I do know when Pastor & Mrs. Carter came, our church paid for their entire trip including food. 

Bro. Gary wouldn't be thought too highly of by our church...something about education and credentials are pretty important here. I don't think our pastor would look to ruin his reputation with some idiots like this. The JRods wouldn't be welcome either. We don't need their singing...we have a 50+ voice choir that does a damn good job. 

[Heathenmom]

Ok folks,

First time poster here, long time lurker.  Imagine my surprise driving the kids home and listening to their  silly songs CD, when this came on.   I leave it here for your listening earworm pleasure.

 

https://youtu.be/DrZqWGcatOA

Sis who  knows a weenie man

 

[Dubiousclaire]

My husband recently started going to church (not me, heathen), and they h had a guest speaker. It was a young lady representing a charity that sends shoe boxes of gifts to children in impoverished areas. She spoke about never having a real Christmas gift before, and how much it meant to her when she received one. 

You are supposed to fill a box with items, indicate age group for the child, and pay for the shipping. Now I know the organization also puts in religious literature. But I told my husband I would help him put together a few boxes, because it would bring joy to the kids.  The speaker wasn't asking for anything for herself, but for others. 

Bro Gary is going around to churches, asking for money, so he can go around to more churches. He will always be asking for money as long as he is driving those crappy RVs. 

[catlady]

@Heathenmom, i played that song for Mr. CatLady last night and with no advanced warning.  he knows about the weenie gravy (and is horrified by it), so he made the connection, but his initial look of "wtf is that?" made me wish i'd recorded him.  by the end, we were both laughing so hard we couldn't breathe.  good times!!

[Curious]

On 9/25/2017 at 1:31 PM, Red Jumper said:

Sis, you are not stupid: There is no place to suggest thread names.

If it's a mega-thread, it's up to the helpmeet/admin in charge of that mega-thread. A mega-thread has a number and is the next part of another thread of this topic. So let's say, "WeenBro 24: Still no commas" is nearing 25 pages (depending on inserted media, it might be only 20 pages), Destiny will lock it, link to part 25 and come up with a name for 25. She may or may not use a phrase from within. She may come up with something else. It's not something we commoners need to think about.

'@'helpmeets and @'admins: thanks for making it so efficient that we can keep snarking on Weens and important stuff without endless discussion on the next title.

If you start a thread about a new topic, you need to come up with a suitable title. I remember, there is a tip on how to not choose a title on one of the help pages. I don't rember where though and being on 6 year old mobile doesn't make search an easy task. Perhaps Rufus will answer your prayers if you are less lazy than I am and work yourself through 32 result pages for "thread title". It basically says, write what this thread is about, not just "I can'believe this" or similar.

If you think about opening a new thread in one of the subforums, think carefully if it can't be part of the latest megathread. This also has been discussed a lot including recently,so the search function will help you to avoid putting you foot into something.

When still insecure, ask in the newbe-forum SoDRT. There more experienced memberes know that we ask stupid questions all the time and provide answers patiently (been there, done that - the stupid, not the useful answer).

 

Now I hope that Rufus has blessed me to not write some BS. Please correct if I was wrong on anything.

I'm pretty far behind on my Weens reading (and again made the mistake of eating while reading this thread...someday I will learn). 

However, this post has nearly driven me to tears and I had to say something about it. 

@Red Jumper you, you...READ THE RULES and remembered stuff from them!   Like a lot of stuff.  

My cold black heart is warmed this day and I wish to offer you a custom title for your words above (It's the place where mine says Fluffy Bunny).  When you decide what you want just let any of the admins know and one of us will change it for you.

Also, if you have a thread title suggestion you can just mention it in the actual thread.  We will try to use member suggested ones if we have any suggestions.  If a new thread is made with a "generic" title, if you mention it in the thread we often change them up a bit to make them relevant to the particular family/topic.

[Coconut Flan]

On ‎9‎/‎25‎/‎2017 at 10:31 AM, Red Jumper said:

Sis, you are not stupid: There is no place to suggest thread names.

If it's a mega-thread, it's up to the helpmeet/admin in charge of that mega-thread. A mega-thread has a number and is the next part of another thread of this topic. So let's say, "WeenBro 24: Still no commas" is nearing 25 pages (depending on inserted media, it might be only 20 pages), Destiny will lock it, link to part 25 and come up with a name for 25. She may or may not use a phrase from within. She may come up with something else. It's not something we commoners need to think about.

'@'helpmeets and @'admins: thanks for making it so efficient that we can keep snarking on Weens and important stuff without endless discussion on the next title.

If you start a thread about a new topic, you need to come up with a suitable title. I remember, there is a tip on how to not choose a title on one of the help pages. I don't rember where though and being on 6 year old mobile doesn't make search an easy task. Perhaps Rufus will answer your prayers if you are less lazy than I am and work yourself through 32 result pages for "thread title". It basically says, write what this thread is about, not just "I can'believe this" or similar.

If you think about opening a new thread in one of the subforums, think carefully if it can't be part of the latest megathread. This also has been discussed a lot including recently,so the search function will help you to avoid putting you foot into something.

When still insecure, ask in the newbe-forum SoDRT. There more experienced memberes know that we ask stupid questions all the time and provide answers patiently (been there, done that - the stupid, not the useful answer).

 

Now I hope that Rufus has blessed me to not write some BS. Please correct if I was wrong on anything.

Hi, @Red Jumper I don't read this thread, but after seeing the note from Curious about offering you a custom title I wanted to see why and now I want to offer my thanks too for reading so much of how things work and remembering and explaining.  

 

[snowgirl]

On 9/16/2017 at 9:39 AM, Palimpsest said:

He has prerequisites too.  He spelled that right.  

And this for a ThD: Also upon completion of your course studies a Thesis or Dissertation (at least 30 pages or 20,000 words) will be required to receive your Degree.

Thirty (30) whole pages !!!!!!!!111111Eleventy!!!!!!!11111

Yep. You hit the nail on the head.

And have you met John Shrader?  He never lets us forget he was premature.

Hi, can you clue me in, what does it mean when people here say "Eleventy!"

thank you and take care

[Palimpsest]

12 minutes ago, snowgirl said:

Hi, can you clue me in, what does it mean when people here say "Eleventy!"

Thanks for asking. It means over the top.  !!!1111!!!!!!.

On FJ, it is a reference to Rebecca Eleventy (I have a very soft spot for her) and some others.  I use it on other threads too.

Some Fundies get stuck on exclamation points, "!!!!!," and miss the real key resulting in "1111!!!!1111"  We morphed it into "Eleventy" so long ago I can't remember the details.

But we perhaps should add it to the lexicon.  It really is understandably confusing.

Sorry,

[dawbs]

11 minutes ago, snowgirl said:

Hi, can you clue me in, what does it mean when people here say "Eleventy!"

thank you and take care

that's actually more of a general internet ('l33t speak') joke.
That lots of exclamation points and excitement are often interspersed with 1's, because of shift key not being held down.

!!!1111!!!!
So 'elventy1!' is just an extension of 'excited, lots of explanation points!11!!!!!'

damnit, listen to Palimpsest, she has paid attention to that longer than I have probably

[snowgirl]

1 hour ago, Palimpsest said:

Thanks for asking. It means over the top.  !!!1111!!!!!!.

On FJ, it is a reference to Rebecca Eleventy (I have a very soft spot for her) and some others.  I use it on other threads too.

Some Fundies get stuck on exclamation points, "!!!!!," and miss the real key resulting in "1111!!!!1111"  We morphed it into "Eleventy" so long ago I can't remember the details.

But we perhaps should add it to the lexicon.  It really is understandably confusing.

Sorry,

It's all good.

 

I just wasn't sure.   Thank you for your timely response.

Ok, here is one more for you?

What is the "Oh, Rufus!"  Who IS Rufus?

That is the end of my questions.  And I appreciate your time.  cheers

 

1 hour ago, dawbs said:

that's actually more of a general internet ('l33t speak') joke.
That lots of exclamation points and excitement are often interspersed with 1's, because of shift key not being held down.

!!!1111!!!!
So 'elventy1!' is just an extension of 'excited, lots of explanation points!11!!!!!'

damnit, listen to Palimpsest, she has paid attention to that longer than I have probably

I'm going to start saying that in real life!  Oh, Eleventy!!!!!!

I can be at Walmart and something is on sale. . .*joyfully*. Oh, Eleventy!  ha ha. :))

[Fascinated]

2 minutes ago, snowgirl said:

It's all good.

 

I just wasn't sure.   Thank you for your timely response.

Ok, here is one more for you?

What is the "Oh, Rufus!"  Who IS Rufus?

That is the end of my questions.  And I appreciate your time.  cheers

 

I'm going to start saying that in real life!  Oh, Eleventy!!!!!!

I can be at Walmart and something is on sale. . .*joyfully*. Oh, Eleventy!  ha ha. :))

Just don’t forget that you need to incorporate some ‘1s’ into your ‘!s’. As in: !!!1!!1!  It is crucial.

 

[snowgirl]

8 minutes ago, Fascinated said:

Just don’t forget that you need to incorporate some ‘1s’ into your ‘!s’. As in: !!!1!!1!  It is crucial.

 

Like this?

 

!!!!!1111Eleventy!!!!!!111

[Fascinated]

5 minutes ago, snowgirl said:

Like this?

 

!!!!!1111Eleventy!!!!!!111

You’ve got it!!!!1!!1!

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

59 minutes ago, snowgirl said:

Ok, here is one more for you?

What is the "Oh, Rufus!"  Who IS Rufus?

That is the end of my questions.  And I appreciate your time.  cheers

If you go to the Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) option, the second entry is "What's all this about Rufus?".

http://www.freejinger.org/faq/2-free-jinger-culture/#elQuestion-130

It has a good explanation of the origins of Rufus.

[Ozlsn]

2 hours ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

If you go to the Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) option, the second entry is "What's all this about Rufus?".

http://www.freejinger.org/faq/2-free-jinger-culture/#elQuestion-130

It has a good explanation of the origins of Rufus.

One of the Very Senior People at my workplace is named Rufus. I get the giggles every time someone talks about needing to ask Rufus...

[General Jinjur]

Ok folks, just gonna leave this here:

Spoiler

Sis Jin

[JillsFlowerHeadband]

20 hours ago, Dubiousclaire said:

Bro Gary is going around to churches, asking for money, so he can go around to more churches. He will always be asking for money as long as he is driving those crappy RVs. 

Ok folks

Bro Gary is doing this backwards according to the KJB (lol): "Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with his hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth" (Ephesians 4:28) and also "Now he that ministereth seed to the sower both minister bread for your food, and multiply your seed sown, and increase the fruits of your righteousness" (2 Corinthians 9:10)

In other words, Bro Ween, God asks that those that serve him and are able work to the best of their ability so they can help those who are genuinely in need (the widows, the disabled, those who fall on hard times). I know the BWV of the Bible says it's okay for you to mooch off hard working people because you think God made you speshul but... once again, that's not how it works. For someone called by God, you sure are ignorant of his word. 

Sis "Learn Your Damn Scripture" JFH