Bro Gary Hawkins Part 2: Saved and Eating Weens, Like a MAN!

[Carol]

Gary Hawkins

3 hrs · White Plains, NC · 

Ok folks has the Devil ever consider you*. 
Bro Gary Hawkins 
And the LORD said unto Satan, Hast thou considered my servant Job, that there is none like him in the earth, a perfect and an upright man, one that feareth God, and escheweth evil? Job 1:8 KJB

 

*I have no idea what this means.  

Is Jesus telling Gary to get a fucking Job? 

 

  

[FundieFarmer]

He's asking if the devil has ever seen someone and laid siege to them to test their faithas he did to Job.

 

The correct answer is, "Why yes he has; XYZ was my trial and lo did I walk through the valley of the shadow of death but I remained firm and fought the good fight and I still run the race. You can do it too, Brother Gary. Rise up on eagles wings and cling to the Lord!"

 

Biblespeak. Apparently I is fluent.

 

 

[MarblesMom]

27 minutes ago, FundieFarmer said:

 I walk through the valley of the shadow of death but I remained firm and fought the good fight and I still run the race. You can do it too, Brother Gary. Rise up on eagles wings and cling to the Lord!"

Perhaps Coolio has some insight into Bro Gary: As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I take a look at my life and realize there's nothin' left...  

 

[Grimalkin]

On 10/5/2017 at 9:18 PM, PopRox said:

You may have Mad Ween Disease. If you suddenly lose the ability to spell or use punctuation, seek emergency medical care IMMEDIATELY.

       I have the antidote for Mad Ween Disease! My beautiful daughter made these ice cream sandwhichs at work and bought one home for me. The cookie part is actually cookie dough.

     Before I ate this I couldn't spell or use punctuation properly. I added an apostrophe to every s that was at the end of a word. 

[Carol]

3 hours ago, FundieFarmer said:

He's asking if the devil has ever seen someone and laid siege to them to test their faithas he did to Job.

 

The correct answer is, "Why yes he has; XYZ was my trial and lo did I walk through the valley of the shadow of death but I remained firm and fought the good fight and I still run the race. You can do it too, Brother Gary. Rise up on eagles wings and cling to the Lord!"

 

Biblespeak. Apparently I is fluent.

 

 

One of the best things about FreeJInger is that I don't know shit about the Bible so I can make up my own answers.  TBH, they make about as much sense to me as the Bible.  I have found myself thinking, about 4,000 times, who in their right mind would believe this stuff?

Then I remember I went to Catholic School for 12 years, Mass until I was 20...and I still struggle with what I believe.

Life is hard.  God is harder.

[Furbabiesonly]

Okay folks, 

can I just say, having been through some seriously emotional times personally and all, that parody page is amazing. 

But also, you guys. From smacking down a “liberal” bigot in the Duggar threads to exploring just how harmful a misogynistic belief of the family can be in the Lori Alexander (is a monster) threads to showing hope and love to women who are trapped in this lifestyle but aiming for more when it comes to the Seven Farmsisters...this forum is truly amazing. 

Thankful to be a part of if all, 

sis furbabiesonly (unknown birth weight, parents gave up on being able to conceive and adopted three siblings and promptly got pregnant- that’s how God works if you ask me) 

[General Jinjur]

Ok Gary, let us know how this works out for you. 

Spoiler

[Evangeline]

@Grimalkin I severely covet your fox pants! Where can I get some of those? I assume they're cozy pajama pants, in which case God has laid it on my heart to acquire some. 

[pamplemousse]

7 hours ago, General Jinjur said:

Ok Gary, let us know how this works out for you. 

  Hide contents

 

Ok Folks,

I am no mechanic, but I took a look at the specs of a v6 92t (looks like that is the same as a 6V92T) and the specs of a v6-71 [which appears to be either a 6v-71N or a 6v-71TA (can't tell which he means)]. I found that the 6V92T's dimensions are 41x39x52 inches, the 6v-71N's are 41x39x48 inches, and the 6v-71TA's are 40x40x53 inches. Considering how tightly engines fit into the rest of the mechanical workings of the car (based on what I've seen of my cars under their hoods), I would guess that the answer to Bro Gary's question is no.  (Anyone here who is more familiar with such matters, can you please weigh in with an opinion? Thanks in advance.)

Good luck getting the part you need, Bro Gary. Be ready to wait a while until your rolling junk heap is back on the road. And next time, get gas in the bus before it runs out!

- Sis pamplemousse, born to a family that didn't even own a car until her oldest sister got her license, never mind know how to fix one

[Indigo]

Okay Folks,

Have y'all seen this issue of GQ?

Sis Indigo (who obviously has too much time on her hands)

[MarblesMom]

Ok folks, Bro Gary sure does have his hand out a lot for donations, yet manages TWO restaurant meals in one day.  I hope someone else was buying.

What is with the Hardee's obsession with these people?

(and no weens... sad)

[Grimalkin]

9 hours ago, Evangeline said:

@Grimalkin I severely covet your fox pants! Where can I get some of those? I assume they're cozy pajama pants, in which case God has laid it on my heart to acquire some. 

   I am about 99% sure I got them at Target.

[Khan]

@Grimalkin I, too, covet those pants! I also covet that glorious ice cream sandwich!  That's some good ween, there.

 

Sis Khan (over 8lbs and born with SEVERE jaundice)

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

OK Folks -- I think Bro Gary is just livin' in a grifter's paradise (with abject apologies to Coolio):

.... Folks, I'm the kinda Gary that little Christians wanna be like
On my knees in the night, sayin' prayers in the street light

Keep spending all our lives
Livin' in a grifter's paradise
Been griftin' most their lives
Livin' in a drifter's paradise
We gonna keep griftin' all our lives
Livin' in grifter's paradise

 

[Nikedagain?]

Folks, good news and bad news.

Bro has lost "friends" because of his motorhome grifting. But they wasn't really friends. 

But Facebook grifting is the most profitable. Better than email, calls  or WORK of mouth.

So don't despair all you wannabes. 

[EmiGirl]

Love the response..

 

 

[Grimalkin]

    Don't worry @EmiGirl he won't be deterred from following his will.

His response 

"I am doing what GOD call me to do."

     (For some reason I can't post a screenshot)

[unholypoledancer]

I love how God calls them in a way that makes it easy for them. "God called me to not work and not have a job..." ok, sure bro, sure. 

[applejack]

"I am doing what GOD call me to do."

Then GOD needs a swift kick in the ass too. 

[PumaLover]

Ok folks. Sis Puma has a confession. For all of my snarking on Bro G and Paplal.com, I logged into PayPal the other night to check my balance ($0.00) and I misspelled PayPal. Epic fail and no weens for me.

(That GQ magazine made me LOL probably longer than I should have.)

[Lurky]

ok folks the losing friends post is pure GHaw.  I especially love "If you thing this is not the way the LORD intend then tell him."

Spoiler

 

[Darwinesque]

3 hours ago, Lurky said:

ok folks the losing friends post is pure GHaw.  I especially love "If you thing this is not the way the LORD intend then tell him."

  Hide contents

 

English is my first language but I have my second glass of wine in my hand and I truly cannot decipher the meaning of the first three sentences. Honestly, please, what does it mean?

Sis Darwin, slightly freaked that I don't know much I weighed. Birthed 2 six pounders. Cheers!

 

P.S, I have had the shittiest 6 weeks of my life and whoever wrote the bro.gary facebook page had me howling with laughter at my 2am wakings. The shrinking Becky Plexus post has me chuckling every time. My humour, spot on - thank you. 

[Palimpsest]

45 minutes ago, Darwinesque said:

English is my first language but I have my second glass of wine in my hand and I truly cannot decipher the meaning of the first three sentences. Honestly, please, what does it mean?

I'll give it a shot:

"OK, folks.  I know I have pissed off people who said the were my friends I thought would give me money because my grifting for the motor home was completely unreasonable.  Those people were not really my friends  gullible enough.  I have posted about needing money to help pay for it because I bought it when I am stony broke.  Send weens too."

I hope life gets much better for you soon @Darwinesque. 

 

[JillsFlowerHeadband]

4 hours ago, Lurky said:

ok folks the losing friends post is pure GHaw.  I especially love "If you thing this is not the way the LORD intend then tell him."

  Hide contents

 

Ok folks

I am seriously beginning to doubt (well, actually I doubted it from the start but still)  Bro Gary’s worthiness to be a minister of God. If he knew his scriptures he’d know that “in the mouths of two or three witnesses a thing is established” (2 Corinthians 13:1) Has he ever “received his call” to be a traveling minister from anyone else besides maybe Sis Becky? I really doubt it.

Sis “That’s Not How Any Of This Works” JFH 

[Spanger]

Ok folks- good WEENS recipe update:. (*omg, my iPad automatically capitalizes weens now, but only if they are good WEENS.  *Im dying!)

I bought a large bag of frozen cocktail weiners recently, inspired by this thread.  So they have been finding their way into recipes they probably don't belong in.  Last night, it was eggplant parmesean with spaghetti'n'weens.. It was actually not too bad.

I finally had a look through the bro Gary hawkins parody page today...  I thought it was pretty funny, especially the recipe pictures and the bus repair collages.  Some of it made me a little uneasy though, I'm not sure if it's b/c his name or picture are used, or what it was.  They are used here and made fun of, I've joined in, and it doesn't bother me one bit.  Maybe it's the thought- if one of bro Gary's real life friends stumbled on that facebook, they might very well think it was his.  Around here, it is clear when we discuss him that no one is actually role-playing him.  

Also, the sodomite don't get rights graphic is kinda funny if you know it is satire, but I'm concerned that most people would not look at it and understand it was posted sarcastically.  Like, fundies would probably just legitimately like it and print it on tshirts and such.  I don't think its a sentiment that needs to be spread around more in this world, even if the intent is as a joke.

Im not trying to pearl-clutch or say "be nice, asshole!"  But I felt 'purposed' to say something, and so there are my .02 cents about it.

Flip side of the coin- chelle Hernandez is even funnier snark, in my opinion, I loved the method of chosing images and posts to create a fictional character instead.  (And I really did get a good laugh over the bgh one, to be honest, just felt a little uneasy too.)

In conclusion: good WEENS!!!  (Just had to do that one more time, lol!)

love, sis spanger