Bro Gary Hawkins Part 2: Saved and Eating Weens, Like a MAN!

[waltraute]

I have had an inexplicable urge to imbibe in weens ever since Bro Hawkins was first brought to light in the Rod thread, which is super weird since those red weens and pink gravy looked disgusting. Still, since that time, I've had a chili dog, a bagel dog, and I added kielbasa to a casserole. I don't usually care for hot dogs! I'm perplexed and embarrassed by this trend. I fear that I will soon digress to fried baloney sandwiches - and even the KJV doesn't have time for that. I don't know what has happened to me.

[Dandruff]

1 hour ago, waltraute said:

I have had an inexplicable urge to imbibe in weens ever since Bro Hawkins was first brought to light in the Rod thread, which is super weird since those red weens and pink gravy looked disgusting. Still, since that time, I've had a chili dog, a bagel dog, and I added kielbasa to a casserole. I don't usually care for hot dogs! I'm perplexed and embarrassed by this trend. I fear that I will soon digress to fried baloney sandwiches - and even the KJV doesn't have time for that. I don't know what has happened to me.

You're being weened.  If you start feeling inexplicable urges to donate $$s to his ministry, or have pink gravy with your weens, then I'd say it's time to worry.

Welcome to FJ.

[Red Jumper]

@waltraute You write in sensible English, so no reasons to worry to be even close to the Weeny Bro.

If you like to continue to contribute to FJ, we can have an eye on your language skills. Welcome!

When you get a personal translator, it's perhaps time to go cold turkey with weens and other substance abuse 

Rumour has it that neither of them cause weird behavour or unintelligent babbling. Several thread show there are other possibilities. So would you mind to leave some of the world's stock of weens to me?  

[Dubiousclaire]

@waltraute we actually had chili dogs for dinner last night. I tried to sneak in the organic, nitrate free dogs, but my husband figured out my trick at once and declared them inedible. Bro Gary would probably have said "what in tarnation did you do to my weens, woman!". 

[Curious]

On 10/2/2017 at 11:11 AM, catlady said:

what a piece of shit he is.  granted, we already knew that, but this just clarifies it that much more.  i guess Jill Rodrigues has a rival for being The Most Selfish Dirtbag On The Planet.

ok folks,

Bro G Haw needs to get in line.  Shrader is already in contention for that title and also He's in the lead for Worst Missionary EVAH!

[Carol]

8 hours ago, waltraute said:

I have had an inexplicable urge to imbibe in weens ever since Bro Hawkins was first brought to light in the Rod thread, which is super weird since those red weens and pink gravy looked disgusting. Still, since that time, I've had a chili dog, a bagel dog, and I added kielbasa to a casserole. I don't usually care for hot dogs! I'm perplexed and embarrassed by this trend. I fear that I will soon digress to fried baloney sandwiches - and even the KJV doesn't have time for that. I don't know what has happened to me.

I encourage you to read this response in your best, "Ask Dr. Science", voice.

 

I do.  

First of all, this indicates that you like dogs.  Do you have one?  If not, go out and acquire one immediately.  You are sublimating you love of dogs and taking up weenie eating which is a mortal sin.  I would suggest a smallish breed that doesn't require a lot of exercise, which is also a mortal sin.

As to the Kielbasa, I think you already know what that's about, don't you?  Don't come to me with your sexual proclivities and accept sympathy.

Fried baloney sandwiches??  This is not curable.  In fact it is dangerous!  I am a doctor of science and I know one sandwich can take you out faster than an exploding Bunsen burner.  

 

[Beermeet]

@waltraute. Omg!  About a month ago that happened to me!  I realized 3 dinners in, it was all ween based.  Chili dogs, french toast and sausages, brats and sauerkraut.  Once I realized,  I self corrected.  But, make no mistake, this was bro. Weens influence!  I was saying weens so often, as was the husband and kids, it just happened.   I have never in my life made ween type meats dinner after dinner.  Horrifying right?!

[snowgirl]

On 10/18/2017 at 8:33 PM, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

If you go to the Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ) option, the second entry is "What's all this about Rufus?".

http://www.freejinger.org/faq/2-free-jinger-culture/#elQuestion-130

It has a good explanation of the origins of Rufus.

xoxo thank you!

[Dandruff]

3 hours ago, Beermeet said:

@waltraute. Omg!  About a month ago that happened to me!  I realized 3 dinners in, it was all ween based.  Chili dogs, french toast and sausages, brats and sauerkraut.  Once I realized,  I self corrected.  But, make no mistake, this was bro. Weens influence!  I was saying weens so often, as was the husband and kids, it just happened.   I have never in my life made ween type meats dinner after dinner.  Horrifying right?!

OK folks.

Weens MAN food not wimin.  KJV say man wimin difrent so is food.  $ fer ween shud go fer caws of LORD.  Use Bro Gary playpl or send mickanec got RV say fer Bro. 

[KnittingOwl]

4 hours ago, Dandruff said:

OK folks.

Weens MAN food not wimin.  KJV say man wimin difrent so is food.  $ fer ween shud go fer caws of LORD.  Use Bro Gary playpl or send mickanec got RV say fer Bro. 

Now I miss Dna and Emily. 

[PopRox]

How do we know Bro. Weens is a TRUE KJB believer if he doesn't have the letters "KJB" taped to the front of his Bible, a la the Denlingers?

[JillsFlowerHeadband]

26 minutes ago, PopRox said:

How do we know Bro. Weens is a TRUE KJB believer if he doesn't have the letters "KJB" taped to the front of his Bible, a la the Denlingers?

He needs to put those stick on letters on the side of the Weenmobile as well. 

[Candydandy]

Folks i just decided to check up on our favorite preaching weens eating real man. Theres not been  much in the activity wise on the page. Anyone maje heads nor tails of that has a love offering coming their ways

sis candy 

[church_of_dog]

10 hours ago, Dandruff said:

OK folks.

Weens MAN food not wimin.  KJV say man wimin difrent so is food.  $ fer ween shud go fer caws of LORD.  Use Bro Gary playpl or send mickanec got RV say fer Bro. 

OK folks,

I think instead of offering a flower (and IMO a rather creepy-eyed grin), our “thank you” reaction should be one showing applause.  It would be so much more versatile and this post is the perfect example of when I would like to use it.

sis CoD

[Heathenmom]

7 hours ago, KnittingOwl said:

Now I miss Dna and Emily. 

Yes!!!!!!! Now THAT was a train wreck!

[catlady]

On 10/19/2017 at 2:02 PM, Dandruff said:

You're being weened.  .......

this sentence channeled my inner 12-year-old, and i laughed a little too hard.  at work.  

i don't think i want to be weened, especially if Bro Gary is involved.  sorry for the mental image.  

[Carol]

5 hours ago, Candydandy said:

Folks i just decided to check up on our favorite preaching weens eating real man. Theres not been  much in the activity wise on the page. Anyone maje heads nor tails of that has a love offering coming their ways

sis candy 

OK folks, I think Bro Gary is on to us in a big way.  He hasn't posted since the 14th and I can' find Beth's page anymore.

C'mon, Gary, come back, you're keeping us in stitches.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Ok folks, I am forced to admit I rather like the weens (aka kosher dogs) at Five Guys,  I have liked them since before Bro Gary appeared. 

However, I suspect Bro Gary would never ever never eat his weens the way I do -- cheese, mayo, mustard, pickles, and relish.  Definitely not manly enough.

[Pianokeeper]

33 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Ok folks, I am forced to admit I rather like the weens (aka kosher dogs) at Five Guys,  I have liked them since before Bro Gary appeared. 

However, I suspect Bro Gary would never ever never eat his weens the way I do -- cheese, mayo, mustard, pickles, and relish.  Definitely not manly enough.

Ok folks,

This is one thing I don't understand about Bro Gary and others who talk about MAN FOODS.  Like how can food be gendered? Does the arugula only come in purple sequins where he lives? Is it a protein content thing? But no, because quinoa and poached eggs would certainly not qualify as MAN FOODS.  But why??? Mysteries of the universe.  

Taking this to its logical conclusion, since he is obsessed with dividing the world into gender specifics and loudly decrying anything gender neutral... shouldn't be stop feeding his children any gender neutral foods? Can't have your boys and girls eating any of the same foods; they'd get confused! No more androgynous foods like bread or butter! Consistency is key. 

Sis Pianokeeper

 

[CharlieInCharge]

On 10/18/2017 at 10:34 PM, Ozlsn said:

One of the Very Senior People at my workplace is named Rufus.

Is this him? 

[JillsFlowerHeadband]

5 hours ago, Pianokeeper said:

Ok folks,

This is one thing I don't understand about Bro Gary and others who talk about MAN FOODS.  Like how can food be gendered? Does the arugula only come in purple sequins where he lives? Is it a protein content thing? But no, because quinoa and poached eggs would certainly not qualify as MAN FOODS.  But why??? Mysteries of the universe.  

Taking this to its logical conclusion, since he is obsessed with dividing the world into gender specifics and loudly decrying anything gender neutral... shouldn't be stop feeding his children any gender neutral foods? Can't have your boys and girls eating any of the same foods; they'd get confused! No more androgynous foods like bread or butter! Consistency is key. 

Sis Pianokeeper

 

Ok folks

I must have quite a distressing lack of REAL MEN in my life because just for fun I polled some of those I thought were men in my life (Mr JFH, Brother JFH, Father JFH and one of my male friends) by showing them the picture of weens and gravy and asking them their thoughts. Their responses:

1) Mr JFH thought it looked like vomit after food poisoning.

2) My brother said it looked like some kind of really gross dog food.

3) My Dad: (I quote) “someone’s dog got into the garbage”

4) My friend simply commented “it’s okay, I didn’t need to eat again... ever....”

All four of the men in my control group were disgusted by the weens. If they don’t like MAN FOOD, does that mean they aren’t MEN? 

(Of course, they’re all gainfully employed and contributing to the support of their families, unlike Bro Ween who’s grifting his way through life, so I think that makes them more REAL MEN than him.)

Sis “Why Are You Showing Me This” JFH (actual quote from my dad as well) 

[acheronbeach]

21 hours ago, Dandruff said:

OK folks.

Weens MAN food not wimin.  KJV say man wimin difrent so is food.  $ fer ween shud go fer caws of LORD.  Use Bro Gary playpl or send mickanec got RV say fer Bro. 

I'm getting flashbacks to "Dae of Dna" from this, which is AWESOME.

[Kailash]

Ok folks, 

This thread is glorious. I save up for a few days before I read it, gleefully anticipating good weens. 

@CharlieInCharge I was laughing before I opened your pic. Well done, sis! 

I hope we haven't hurt Bro Gary's feelings for weens. 

Sis Kailash- wish I knew my birth stats but I don't. 

 

[FundieFarmer]

I routinely start new threads for Jill, the Millers and Gary. Tag me if you want a particular title (can’t promise you’ll get it if there’s multiple requests or a trending event but I’ll try!!). I also check every few days through the main forum pages who’s reaching the caps and then start those new threads. We all rotate through but that’s my routine so as we get toward 20ish that’s when I scope back a few pages for something funny and name it that way. HMU w ideas if you’ve got them. Tag me though (I will lose track of messages [emoji15])

[JillsFlowerHeadband]

I’ve been sitting here trying to think of a clever title incorporating that favorite phrase, “Ok folks”. LOL! So far all I’ve come up with is “Ok folks, it’s Bro Gary part 3”