What's with these jerk adoptive mothers?

[blessalessi]

She doesn't understand that play is "work" for children.

 

[AlwaysExcited]

I suspect, that if she chose a Christian Adoption Agency/facilitator, they have all singles some how prove they're straight? Or write a letter about it...or something. 

But-but-but - how? How can you prove it?

[formergothardite]

wait what??!! Is she Kimmie with the poo pockets?  i was one of her original testers back in um, 1998ish! We were on a sew your own diaper yahoo list together,  as well as a couple other patenting and child birth lists.  I spoke on the phone with her several times. She was incredibly sweet.  And completely obsessed with babies. She was a doula and studying to be a midwife at the time. She was doing daycare then too. 

 

Wow so surreal! Thanksfor pointing that out! 

She is the Poo Pockets lady?! I had that pattern. No idea she was like this. 

[blessalessi]

So maybe some of the critical blog commenters were also in Club Poo Pocket?

[Toothfairy]

This post is just sick.  Sissy was "stealing" food, so she made a decoy bottle filled with salt water and tabasco.  Of course, the child got sick when she guzzled it.  

http://www.fencingmama.blogspot.ca/2012/12/where-we-are-today.html

please get these kids away from her

[elliha]

I can understand adopting one special needs child but not several. This is not to be mean to children with special needs or to say that having special needs children is an impossible task or anything like that. However, handling adoption and special needs at the same time is extremely challenging. I know a lot of adopted adults who were adopted as toddlers or babies and some of them has had a very tough time despite having loving homes and parents who really have done a good job. Add special needs to that. My friends have the intellect to understand the many tough decisions their adoptive and biological parents made and still it has been tough for them at different times in life. They also had the chance to be adopted while they were still young and the one adopted at 3 lived with her biological family up to a couple of weeks or months before the adoption so she has not grown up in an institution. 

Special needs are of course not always huge ones but in the case in the blog it is mental and physical problems on top of damage from living in an institution. Taking on one child with this severity of problems is a giant task, having four of them must be almost impossible. If you then homeschool and don't use the available services in society, even worse. I have seen how much my cousin has had to work to get her son all the help he needs and how much she has to do for him and he is one, biological child with special needs, her other two children do not have any such problems. His problems also seem relatively mild compared to the children in this blog.

[Antimony]

This post is just sick.  Sissy was "stealing" food, so she made a decoy bottle filled with salt water and tabasco.  Of course, the child got sick when she guzzled it.  

http://www.fencingmama.blogspot.ca/2012/12/where-we-are-today.html

Not only is this mean but it's dangerous for somebody to be forced (Sissy apparently drank it all in one gulp, more or less, which I assume K knew she would do) to drink salt water. I'm sure it'd have to be more than a Pedisure container but still...

[Antimony]

I can understand adopting one special needs child but not several. This is not to be mean to children with special needs or to say that having special needs children is an impossible task or anything like that. However, handling adoption and special needs at the same time is extremely challenging. I know a lot of adopted adults who were adopted as toddlers or babies and some of them has had a very tough time despite having loving homes and parents who really have done a good job. Add special needs to that. My friends have the intellect to understand the many tough decisions their adoptive and biological parents made and still it has been tough for them at different times in life. They also had the chance to be adopted while they were still young and the one adopted at 3 lived with her biological family up to a couple of weeks or months before the adoption so she has not grown up in an institution. 

Special needs are of course not always huge ones but in the case in the blog it is mental and physical problems on top of damage from living in an institution. Taking on one child with this severity of problems is a giant task, having four of them must be almost impossible. If you then homeschool and don't use the available services in society, even worse. I have seen how much my cousin has had to work to get her son all the help he needs and how much she has to do for him and he is one, biological child with special needs, her other two children do not have any such problems. His problems also seem relatively mild compared to the children in this blog.

I agree (although it would be possible to have many biological children with special needs but that would eliminate the cultural and language barrier issue she has which would make things a smidgen easier, I'm sure.) I am completely disturbed by how all her children's behaviors are an attack on her in her world. 

The girls want to get on QQ a lot which to me means they a) know how to socialize to some small degree b ) use their laptops in ways that aren't "ignorantly hitting keys" c) can plan ahead and choose a course of action (Do I want to do math or go online....?) and those are all normal teenage decisions. 

The contrast with how she talks about Apple and the others I'm sure translates to how she treats Apple versus the others which must cause further strife for the girls. 

She swears she uses full resources but I'm just not seeing it. It sounds more like she occasionally brings the girls to get test and then bitches about their lack of progress. Contrast this to the recent post made over at Confessions of the Enhanced (a secular mommy blog as far as I can tell, she may have a denomination but rarely brings it up if so):

http://www.confessionsofthechromosomallyenhanced.com/2015/11/special-needs-careers.html

http://www.confessionsofthechromosomallyenhanced.com/2013/10/i-survived-my-first-iep-meeting-part-2_23.html

In the second link especially, it is obvious how much this woman advocates for her child's abilities and she even goes as far as to film a video doing all the same IEP tests but using Josie's own toys (increasing her level of comfort) to send off to the IEP. She clearly has all these resources and advocates for her child and seems the exact opposite of K as far as special needs parenting.
 

(Note: I know that Josie has Downs and Sissy, Blossom, JieJie and Apple do not -- I don't mean to suggest that their struggles are comparable but that their parents are approaching resources from a completely different attitude.) 

But-but-but - how? How can you prove it?

I can only assume that you send them a list of your most favorited fanfictions to prove you are a True Heterosexual. 

Or maybe it's more like an NSA interview and they call everybody you've ever known or lived with, like character references? (I can see this actually being the case.)

[AlwaysExcited]

I can only assume that you send them a list of your most favorited fanfictions to prove you are a True Heterosexual.

DAMMIT! I'm not a True Heterosexual.

[IreneIssh]

I did close to a decade in special ed... I'm convinced Munchausen by proxy by Special Ed is a thing. I couldn't get too far into this blog without getting ragey but what I did read gave me Munchausen vibes. 

I completely agree, and wonder if that's the case here. She does seem to be pathologizing some fairly normal behavior in many of the cases

On the topic of Munchausen by proxy by Special Ed, I'm reminded of the extreme and incredibly tragic case of Gypsy Rose Blancharde. It's definitely something that happens. 

[DaisyD]

She's so obsessed with intellect. I really wonder if she has some kind of deeper issue with cognitive ability. The way she seems to blame them for not being able to comprehend things seems like an issue deeper than parenting to me.

 

I think I was on that yahoo diaper list. It would have been in 2002. I made an adaptation of the poo pockets for both of my kids. They're really great diapers. I remember getting a weird vibe from her, but nothing like this. She just seemed a little bitchy. I chalked it up to lack of tone on the Internet. 

[blessalessi]

She describes her adoption journey as having begun in February 2006 when she heard the voice of God, in her left ear, saying that her child was in China.

I remember hearing a voice in my left ear as I read [an adoption blog], but I didn't pay attention to it since I was busy reading. Then, one night as I knelt by my bed to pray and write in my journal, I heard the voice say strongly and clearly, "Your daughter is in China." It was at that moment that I realized that's what I'd been hearing all week.

 

Now I know that voice-hearing is recognised as a fairly common phenomenon and isn't always associated with mental health issues.  But she seems to have an ongoing experience of hearing what she believed s to be the actual voice of God.  She expresses no surprise at the experience but simply attributes her initial lack of attention to the fact that she was "busy reading".  

From her own history on the blog, it seems that she does have significant emotional issues around the area of parenting, that stem from her own childhood, and she lists some very specific unfulfilled hopes for her life, which could well be relevant stressors that form the context for a period of mental distress/illness.

Originally written May 19, 2006:
Growing up the second of five children, I always wanted a large family myself. As a young girl, I imagined being married at 18 or so and having 4 children about two years apart. Then I was going to adopt.

Reality: I'm 37 and single, living in an apartment, with debt, and I'm self-employed.

In my early twenties I thought I'd have artificial insemination if I was still single at 27. When I was 27 I realized I still have plenty of time for Mr. Right to come along. When I reached 30, I realized I was glad that Mr. Right and children hadn't come along since I'd learned so much about myself and wanted to work on myself a bit more so I'd be a better wife and mother when the time came. Basically, dumping all the stuff my mom had dumped on me and realizing my family had problems I didn't want to be a part of.

I wonder if she disclosed the details about her supernatural auditory experience when completing her home study?  That, together with with the unresolved issues from her own childhood, really should have been explored, IMHO. 

The adoption process required a statement to confirm her heterosexuality (!) but apparently included no confirmation that she was emotionally ready to care for a needy child.

[keepercjr]

The racism post was so overexagerated.  Yes gangs are a big problem in our town and one of the reasons I won't send my kids to the school down the street.  Like her I live in a nice area but it is bordered by known gang territories.  But to say that kids could be murdered because they are white is just.... Crazy.  That.is.not.happening.here.  I think she is straight up lying about her experience in the middle school regarding not being allowed to walk around because of a safety concern for her.

As for being in CA and the high COL, we are in one of the lower COL areas of CA.  It is nothing like the bay area or the LA area.  It is still CA and more expensive than other parts of the country but unless she is willing to move out of CA she can't get much lower for COL.  That being said, I have no idea how she is supporting herself with the small daycare and some sewing classes.  

I think she completely resents the older children.  And was completely out of her mind to adopt so many special needs kids as a single, inexperienced woman with no support system.

 

[Inthemadhouse]

She wanted a no/low special needs baby girl, which is what everyone else wants.  She got sick of waiting and blindly took the first kid who came along, who turned out to have higher needs then she could handle.  So she compounded it by adopting two more high special needs girls.  Then she finally got her baby, which means the other girls are surplus now. 

Seriously, if you've spent decades making and choosing outfits for your hypothetical baby girl, maybe that's a sign that you should wait for that baby girl.  Plenty of people can handle a low needs adopted toddler and not have any clue what to do with higher needs teenagers.

[Antimony]

DAMMIT! I'm not a True Heterosexual.

I guess the real rub here is if you are a woman, can you only send them m/m slash fanfic to prove that you are ONLY INTO MEN or is straight fanfic...acceptable but it contains images of a woman!?

What a high burden of proof they'll have going on here. 

[ViolaSebastian]

I can't imagine the thought process that goes on in this adoption agency.  Perfectly stable, loving, married same sex couple?!  NO WAY!  SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!  Single woman with a troubled childhood, nine cats, a possible mental illness, and a baby obsession?  Sign her right up for a special needs teenager!

[Antimony]

New post and it is...disgusting.

1) Sissy is a selfish 3 year old, apparently. 
2) Sissy steals a lot of things and really wants papers pertaining to herself. K is upset about this. This seems understandable to me.
3) K bought a security camera to monitor Sissy. I guess this would be alright if you were concerned that your children were harming themselves and others but considering that K's concerns are all material items, it seems kind of awful given the context of her other actions.
4) Her security tablet was stolen on Black Friday. She suspects Sissy. (And honestly, if you were 16 and understood what your adoptive mother was trying to do, if she did understand, wouldn't you swipe it also and shove it back into an aisle?)
5) There is apparently no resource due to Sissy's language delay. It would, of course, be absurd for K to learn any word of Sissy's dialect. 

[Maggie Mae]

I wish I could quit this lady. 

I know I don't have the whole story, only what she's put on the blog. But it seems like Sissy had some sort of RAD. Which only got worse when Blossom was quickly and unexpectedly adopted. Kimmie doesn't seem to grasp that you can't treat a 14 year old with RAD like any other 14 year old. Also, Sissy doesn't like pets or animals. She adopted her anyway. 

"sissy" (not her real name, TG) also was growing out her hair in china. "Supermom" (seriously, kimmie refers to herself as "supermom") convinced her that she looks better with bangs. 

She also thinks that Blossom's shorter hair is more age appropriate. Most of the photos have "blossom" in either pig tails, or that horrible institution cut. Why not take them to a real salon instead of doing it yourself? 

 

[Antimony]

 

She also thinks that Blossom's shorter hair is more age appropriate. Most of the photos have "blossom" in either pig tails, or that horrible institution cut. Why not take them to a real salon instead of doing it yourself? 

 

I do, at least, think Blossom pulls this cut off well. Just my opinion. Better than I would, at least! I think it looks especially cute in the Baptism photo but I'm horrified that she forced her to cut it off. These girls lose so much and control over what to do with your own body is a huge thing to use. Between adults, cutting off somebody's hair without their consent is generally considered assault (see Amish beard cutting crimes). 

[ViolaSebastian]

New post and it is...disgusting.

1) Sissy is a selfish 3 year old, apparently. 
2) Sissy steals a lot of things and really wants papers pertaining to herself. K is upset about this. This seems understandable to me.
3) K bought a security camera to monitor Sissy. I guess this would be alright if you were concerned that your children were harming themselves and others but considering that K's concerns are all material items, it seems kind of awful given the context of her other actions.
4) Her security tablet was stolen on Black Friday. She suspects Sissy. (And honestly, if you were 16 and understood what your adoptive mother was trying to do, if she did understand, wouldn't you swipe it also and shove it back into an aisle?)
5) There is apparently no resource due to Sissy's language delay. It would, of course, be absurd for K to learn any word of Sissy's dialect. 

It seems that number two could be rather easily remedied by taking photocopies of the paperwork and allowing Sissy to keep them in a file in her room.  

[Pseudoname]

I haven't read the whole blog, but does anyone know why only Jie Jie's picture is on the side, but she is not mentioned in many posts?

[ViolaSebastian]

I haven't read the whole blog, but does anyone know why only Jie Jie's picture is on the side, but she is not mentioned in many posts?

The further back one goes in the blog, the more often she's mentioned.  Sadly, I think the reason she's not mentioned in many of the more recent posts is because they're dedicated to complaining about the "problem children," Blossom and Sissy, or showing off Apple.  Jie Jie was the first adopted and seems to be in better shape than the two older girls.  

[blessalessi]

Edit: I was wrong about order of the 4 adoptions, so have removed incorrect info to avoid confusion as this is a fast moving thread.

[apandaaries]

The racism post was so overexagerated.  Yes gangs are a big problem in our town and one of the reasons I won't send my kids to the school down the street.  Like her I live in a nice area but it is bordered by known gang territories.  But to say that kids could be murdered because they are white is just.... Crazy.  That.is.not.happening.here.  I think she is straight up lying about her experience in the middle school regarding not being allowed to walk around because of a safety concern for her.

As for being in CA and the high COL, we are in one of the lower COL areas of CA.  It is nothing like the bay area or the LA area.  It is still CA and more expensive than other parts of the country but unless she is willing to move out of CA she can't get much lower for COL.  That being said, I have no idea how she is supporting herself with the small daycare and some sewing classes.  

I think she completely resents the older children.  And was completely out of her mind to adopt so many special needs kids as a single, inexperienced woman with no support system.

 

She is pretty damn batshit.  Most adults who haven't been fingerprinted or aren't on a special tour can't just traipse around ANY schoolyard.  It's a security measure for the STUDENTS, not her pasty white ass.  She has an incredibly overblown sense of the racial tensions that can (and often do) exist on campuses and in the world.  

Are you near her, keeper?  I'm in CA, too, so I know the issues of (not) finding an area with a low COL.  But I get a Bay Area or Northern California vibe from her writings (which I've not explored in depth -- the surface is already making me ill), which is typically an expensive area and which has worsened over the last few years with the tech invasion.  I know *I* couldn't make ends meet with an in-home daycare and some sewing lessons, so it's confusing to read what she presents.  

Who in their right minds gave her all these children which she can't support, understand, or raise in a healthy fashion?  Are there Mormon adoption agencies ensuring that the ebil gays don't get kids, but passing them out like candy to her?  Or was it a more typical (as we too often hear about) Christian agency that was reassured by her non-lesbianism that she could handle four adoptees with special needs?  HOW did this happen?

She is reprehensible.  It's so hard to read because she comes across as so cold and so cruel -- a calculated cruelty, which is even worse, IMO.  Poor kids.  Hope that Bishop makes a call to CPS.  It couldn't hurt to have more eyes on this situation. 

[blessalessi]

Jie Jie was adopted in 2011, before apple, I think.   I can hardly see any photos or mention of Blossom or Sissy in the blog posts for the latter half of that year.  No mention that they exist on "Jie Jie's first Christmas".

I want this blog turn out to be fake.  I feel sick at the horror of it.