Katie and Travis 6: Maturing Faster than Carlin

[rebeccawriter01]

10 minutes ago, HereticHick said:

I wonder if Gil and Kelli are down at Papa Bill's farm more often that we realize.

That is possible, though from the wording of different social media, Gil is visiting there with some of the grown children compared to having Gil and Kelly there together. My theory is that Gil and some of the boys are doing some of the heavy lifting projects to feel useful. Kelly isn't really a "doer" and probably isn't needed as much there. 

Trace and Lydia said that Michael and Brandon were taking Judson and Jeb back to SC soon in a video a few weeks ago. Gil may have gone with them. 

[lumpentheologie]

On 3/23/2024 at 4:37 AM, gobucks said:

It's interesting the subtle things you can notice by watching a YouTube video. This week, they packed and did an ad for some candles. Hailey gets a little stomach bug. Katie first mentions talking to Travis' mom about the stomach bug, then calling Michael about it. No mention of her own mother. It just is those subtle things that show where they seek information, comfort, and help.

This really makes me feel like her move home has almost nothing to do with being near her parents and everything to do with being near her siblings (and sister mom Michael). A lot of the siblings are hanging out together as adults and Katie seems to have strong fomo, as one might expect. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

17 minutes ago, lumpentheologie said:

This really makes me feel like her move home has almost nothing to do with being near her parents and everything to do with being near her siblings (and sister mom Michael). A lot of the siblings are hanging out together as adults and Katie seems to have strong fomo, as one might expect. 

I agree. She’s not like Alyssa. I think Alyssa is fine with missing out on some family stuff because she’s not big on loud chaos that is her family when they are all together. But I think Katie loves it. I’m sure she always felt like she was missing out when her siblings would post things on FB. As she gets older, she might understand the positives of Travis’s small family. 

[Melissa1977]

On 3/25/2024 at 9:31 PM, HereticHick said:

I wonder if Gil and Kelli are down at Papa Bill's farm more often that we realize.

Someone posted that Gil and Kelly seem to be in different places often. They go together to family parties, but also do a lot of alone trips and activities. Maybe Gil goes to the family farm sometimes... But he doesn't strike me neither a volunteer nor an elderly caring person.

[lumpentheologie]

Also, it just occurred to me that Katie is both 10 years younger than Michael and KJ’s 11th child. By the time Katie was born Michael was full time sister-moming and I’m sure Katie went to Michael rather than to KJ for comfort as a child. Now she’s calling Michael and her mother in law for child raising advice. I know Michael spends a lot of time with her niblings but I could see her taking on even more of a grandmother-aunt role with Hailey. 

[rebeccawriter01]

1 hour ago, Melissa1977 said:

Someone posted that Gil and Kelly seem to be in different places often. They go together to family parties, but also do a lot of alone trips and activities. Maybe Gil goes to the family farm sometimes... But he doesn't strike me neither a volunteer nor an elderly caring person.

Katie and her siblings are probably well aware of the limited support they have received and will receive from Gil and Kelly. Whether by circumstance or by choice (choice being the bigger factor), their parents are not fully into their roles as parents or grandparents. Kelly is often applauded for her long birthday messages and being able to recognize her children's traits better than Michelle Duggar. It is a low bar and on its own seems very minimal.

Just by size alone, Kelly and Gil can't be everywhere and with everyone. With 19 children, those children's spouse, more than 30 grandchildren, Gil's parents, etc., they are stretched. My grandparents couldn't be at every party, event, recital, etc. That's just the way it falls sometimes. I doubt Katie is particularly surprised or would be shocked by it. Travis though will probably be surprised if not in theory then in practice. 

I think Gil is spending more time in South Carolina as his parents' health declines. I'm not sure that he is there to do things as such as he feels he needs to be there. 

Given what has happened in my family with elderly relatives, I will say that a lot of the activities going on now (cleaning, clearing the weeds, taking care of things, is done as a way to keep the elderly in the home as long as possible. Long term care is such an expensive and messy business. Other than limited rehab, medicare doesn't pay for it. Few of the elderly had the option for long term care insurance. So they must pay out of pocket (around $10,000 a month for my aunt just two years ago) and spend down everything they have saved to even qualify for medicaid. Gil and his siblings may realize now that their inheritance is at risk because if they place Bill and possibly Jane in long term care, what can be kept is very limited. Even with the house, for example, medicaid typically looks at the assets over the last five years. If Bill was to sell the house to Gil or his siblings now, it would still be considered and the money would have to be used (can't just sell for $1) to pay for care. In my aunt's case, she could keep her home just in case her condition improved. She planned to leave it to her brother (my father). However, the state came in and said that after she died, we had to sell it and give the proceeds back to the state to pay back Medicaid payments.

It is sad and disheartening that you end up thinking that way in someone's final years, but the practical side kicks in on you. 

Gil's trips might be more to talk to his siblings and figure out ways to make things work for Bill and Jane. Kelly doesn't seem to have that much interest in such things - she is more taker than giver. Jane doesn't seem to appreciate Kelly all that much and there were some indications that his siblings didn't either. Their wording on the first show seemed to indicate they saw Kelly as the impetus that led to 19 children, wasted potential, and Gil's craziness. Maybe things have changed, but that was my interpretation. 

[CaptainFunderpants]

8 hours ago, lumpentheologie said:

This really makes me feel like her move home has almost nothing to do with being near her parents and everything to do with being near her siblings (and sister mom Michael). A lot of the siblings are hanging out together as adults and Katie seems to have strong fomo, as one might expect. 

I think there's a lot that makes sense about the move...

1. I doubt Travis thought going into their marriage that social media would be such a major/viable part of their income, whereas now that it is, it does maybe make more sense to be closer to the Bates Borg. It also makes financial sense to make as much money with it as they can, while they can.

2. I think Travis wants to dip a toe in the water in Nashville. His music is legitimately good and hasn't he started to work with Evan on it quite a bit? This makes that a lot easier.

3. If they don't intend to homeschool, this is the time to be outside New Jersey. It wouldn't surprise me if the rough plan is to move back when Hailey starts kindergarten.

[kittykay]

9 hours ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

In my aunt's case, she could keep her home just in case her condition improved. She planned to leave it to her brother (my father). However, the state came in and said that after she died, we had to sell it and give the proceeds back to the state to pay back Medicaid payments.

This is exactly true for Texas Medicaid as well.  My husband did not want to be admitted to a nursing home but preferred to stay in our home. And I wanted him home.  I did a lot of research on Medicaid in Texas and found the situation just as @rebeccawriter01 posted.  If he had been admitted to a nursing home with Medicaid assistance, after his death I would have been forced to sell the home to pay back the money Medicaid had spent.  Also, Medicaid would have taken the life insurance benefit.  As it was, he was able to stay at home with hospice help.  His doctor was, however, livid.

[JDuggs]

40 minutes ago, kittykay said:

This is exactly true for Texas Medicaid as well.  My husband did not want to be admitted to a nursing home but preferred to stay in our home. And I wanted him home.  I did a lot of research on Medicaid in Texas and found the situation just as @rebeccawriter01 posted.  If he had been admitted to a nursing home with Medicaid assistance, after his death I would have been forced to sell the home to pay back the money Medicaid had spent.  Also, Medicaid would have taken the life insurance benefit.  As it was, he was able to stay at home with hospice help.  His doctor was, however, livid.

In my state, Medicaid would not force a widow to sell her home to pay back Medicaid after the death of a spouse in long term care. It’s understandable that the house would have to be sold to pay back Medicaid if there’s no spouse. 

[GuineaPigCourtship]

9 hours ago, kittykay said:

after his death I would have been forced to sell the home to pay back the money Medicaid had spent.  Also, Medicaid would have taken the life insurance benefit

So they'd take your home and your money and leave you... what... destitute?  Texas is so prolife.

[kittykay]

Yes, I would have been homeless and destitute had I decided on the Medicaid assistance.  And medical professionals seem to be okay with this system.

Texas is pro-life while in utero.  Once born, you're on your own.

[GuineaPigCourtship]

I definitely don't believe they're actually prolife at all in the spirit of the word.  Just... probirth for sure.

[JDuggs]

1 hour ago, kittykay said:

Yes, I would have been homeless and destitute had I decided on the Medicaid assistance.  And medical professionals seem to be okay with this system.

Texas is pro-life while in utero.  Once born, you're on your own.

Maybe the laws have changed, but I found this on the American Council on Aging website. I’m glad you were able to care for your husband at home like he wanted.

Spoiler

 

[rebeccawriter01]

20 hours ago, JDuggs said:

In my state, Medicaid would not force a widow to sell her home to pay back Medicaid after the death of a spouse in long term care. It’s understandable that the house would have to be sold to pay back Medicaid if there’s no spouse. 

In theory, but more than likely Gil and his siblings are talking about what happens with them. His siblings live on property that was (I hope not is) owned by Bill and Jane. Suddenly with the death of a parent, your entire life is uprooted and you lose your home because of it. Gil made a comment that part of the land was his but he wasn't sure where it was or anything like that (on their first show). It sounds like Bill and Jane signed over portions of the land to their adult children well in advance. 

It can still be upsetting to consider for families. Jane might not want to be away from Bill. However, if she doesn't qualify for memory care (or whatever he needs), they would be separated. The idea of selling the house and land would probably upset her a lot, and Bill if he is able to process that. It might be upsetting to their kids and family on the farm to continue living there and seeing the house where they grew up now occupied by strangers. They may very well be discussing how and if one or all of them should purchase it now and have Bill and Jane use that money on long term care.

If they keep them at home, I sincerely hope someone builds a ramp for them. Those concrete steps seem too uneven and steep for either of them. 

I know Carlin has claimed this special relationship with Bill - the drawing of the two of them together and all. But has she been part of the groups going to visit the grandparents? Has Josie? Katie? 

[gobucks]

Today's video was boring. They drove. Dev and Mike and Warden helped drive the U Haul and switch off drivers. The apartment came with a garage so they are excited. Zach and Whitney showed up to help unload the truck along with the previously mentioned peeps. Carlin and Evan came over to help unpack boxes.  Hailey seems to be over the stomach bug she had last video. They mentioned Katie's family was out of town (this was last weekend Saturday March 23).

Edited March 29 by gobucks

[SoSoNosy]

According to Mississippi Medicaid, they only go after what is filed with Probate Court; a simple Revocable Living Trust avoids Probate.

Who drove Travis and Katie's car?  Don't they have a Tesla?

[raayx01]

31 minutes ago, SoSoNosy said:

According to Mississippi Medicaid, they only go after what is filed with Probate Court; a simple Revocable Living Trust avoids Probate.

Who drove Travis and Katie's car?  Don't they have a Tesla?

Mike and Warden drove the u haul and travis Katie and Deven drove in the Tesla. They sold Katies car.

[JDuggs]

Selling Katie’s car seemed to make sense when they were living in NJ, but now it seems that Travis will be making trips to Nashville on a regular basis. A second car would be handy in this “season of life.”

[SoSoNosy]

38 minutes ago, JDuggs said:

Selling Katie’s car seemed to make sense when they were living in NJ, but now it seems that Travis will be making trips to Nashville on a regular basis. A second car would be handy in this “season of life.”

They said they were going to buy a bigger vehicle when they get there.

[Mama Mia]

On 3/27/2024 at 8:34 AM, lumpentheologie said:

Also, it just occurred to me that Katie is both 10 years younger than Michael and KJ’s 11th child. By the time Katie was born Michael was full time sister-moming and I’m sure Katie went to Michael rather than to KJ for comfort as a child. Now she’s calling Michael and her mother in law for child raising advice. I know Michael spends a lot of time with her niblings but I could see her taking on even more of a grandmother-aunt role with Hailey. 

TBF in this instance though - Michael is an actual nurse, so would likely be the go-to phone call for sick/ injured kid advice. We have nurses in my family and that’s how it tends to work. 
 

 

[Mama Mia]

On 3/27/2024 at 8:20 AM, JermajestyDuggar said:

I agree. She’s not like Alyssa. I think Alyssa is fine with missing out on some family stuff because she’s not big on loud chaos that is her family when they are all together. But I think Katie loves it. I’m sure she always felt like she was missing out when her siblings would post things on FB. As she gets older, she might understand the positives of Travis’s small family. 

It’s interesting to see the different dynamics. We have a pretty large family ( not by Bates standards, obviously) and many are loud people with intense personalities. It’s chaotic at family gatherings. For sure.  But some of the grown kids love it. A couple avoid whenever possible. As a mom, that’s hard for me, but I’ve worked on being more understanding that that’s just them, and their preference, and try not to take it personally. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

35 minutes ago, Mama Mia said:

It’s interesting to see the different dynamics. We have a pretty large family ( not by Bates standards, obviously) and many are loud people with intense personalities. It’s chaotic at family gatherings. For sure.  But some of the grown kids love it. A couple avoid whenever possible. As a mom, that’s hard for me, but I’ve worked on being more understanding that that’s just them, and their preference, and try not to take it personally. 

I come from a family with many extroverts. Both very social and loud. I’m more like Alyssa. I am introverted although I can be quite loud. I think I just learned to be a loud talker in a family of loud talkers. But I get easily overwhelmed in the chaos. It’s funny because I’m always the one to go sit on the porch or somewhere quiet in big family gatherings. So I can relax for a minute. 

[rebeccawriter01]

11 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I come from a family with many extroverts. Both very social and loud. I’m more like Alyssa. I am introverted although I can be quite loud. I think I just learned to be a loud talker in a family of loud talkers. But I get easily overwhelmed in the chaos. It’s funny because I’m always the one to go sit on the porch or somewhere quiet in big family gatherings. So I can relax for a minute. 

With my extended family, they are almost all extroverts. I can't deal with them. I am the Alyssa of my family - not for being a bad mom and uninterested - because I skip all events. I'll send nice gifts. I just don't want to be there. When I go back to the area to visit, I'll visit one on one with the different families but freak out if they suggest a large event/party. 

When I was a kid, my parents would invite cousins to come spend the night with me. Usually about 11 p.m. I would go in my parents room and say I was tired of my cousins and could they take the cousins home now. My parents wouldn't do it. By breakfast I was plotting people's deaths. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

31 minutes ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

With my extended family, they are almost all extroverts. I can't deal with them. I am the Alyssa of my family - not for being a bad mom and uninterested - because I skip all events. I'll send nice gifts. I just don't want to be there. When I go back to the area to visit, I'll visit one on one with the different families but freak out if they suggest a large event/party. 

When I was a kid, my parents would invite cousins to come spend the night with me. Usually about 11 p.m. I would go in my parents room and say I was tired of my cousins and could they take the cousins home now. My parents wouldn't do it. By breakfast I was plotting people's deaths. 

When I was a kid, I was more outgoing. So I was happy to spend multiple days at my cousins’ or my grandparents’ houses. It’s just now that I’m an adult that I’ve become more introverted. I think I’m just getting older and don’t put up with as much bullshit as I used to. 

[Kiki03910]

22 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

When I was a kid, I was more outgoing. So I was happy to spend multiple days at my cousins’ or my grandparents’ houses. It’s just now that I’m an adult that I’ve become more introverted. I think I’m just getting older and don’t put up with as much bullshit as I used to. 

Ah yes, the freedom of not giving a shit that seems to hit hard around age 40 or so.